"Overwatch" is going to be the greatest video game of all time

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > "Overwatch" is going to be the greatest video game of all time

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Well duh, OP. The sexiest videogame character ever is in it:

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 01:34

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 08:37

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Gaunab posted:

would

I want to feel her bicep and then giggle like a schoolgirl.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 04:28

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

I've never played heathstone but I object to it on principle. It's a digital CCG and the monsters don't come out of the cards and attack each other. The whole. Entire. Point. Of having a digital CCG would be so the monsters could come alive and fight. If you're just going to make a regular card game then you might as well buy real cards.

Hearthstone is not a game it is a farce.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 04:54

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Seriously. Who thinks that movie will be good? I know some people who still play WoW (I met them in WoW!), and none of them think it'll be good. They're just torn between awful-enough-to-laugh-at and just plain awful.

My baby bro thinks it will be good. He is so hyped. He is 23.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 13:57

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

The Goatfather posted:

overwatch is already terrible and its not even a real game yet

Hmm yes I see. I think I need to review this evidence in my private chambers.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 14:22

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

nomadologique posted:

no the point is you don't have to the shuffle the cards or keep them anywhere or go to smelly tournaments or do any kind of calculations on health or RNG etc etc

Shuffling cards is one of life's little pleasures. lol if you don't enjoy shuffling cards or hearing that *flap* sound as you peel them off the top of the deck.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 15:09

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

hemophilia posted:

Actually not having to tap cards and manage a real deck was enough to get me to play magic. Instead of buying real cards, me and my friends would buy decks on the MTG client. Not the flashy games with pre made decks, but the really lovely thing you can buy digital variants of all the cards on. Just not having to tap cards and argue about rules. Arguing about rules and keeping up with new ones is why card games suck in real life.

I defintiely dont' need digital battle monsters popping out of simulated cards.

But I mean as long as you are simulating the cards you might as well make simulated battle monsters pop out of them.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 15:13

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

nomadologique posted:

imagine: any time you want your card to do something, it takes a 30 second break from the game to show you an animation you have seen 5000 times before

how interesting!!! very good material for a game after the first hour or two

Get this: you can turn the animations off.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 15:16

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

nomadologique posted:

LOL

ok, so you get to wait while the person on the other side of the game, who has animations turned on, watches his

you still get the 30 second delay every time a card does something, even w them off

additionally, if you can turn the animations off, dorks like you will still complain about it

"what's the point of having animations if you can just turn them off?????"

I wouldn't complain if animations were optional just like I enjoy the feature in Battle Chess where you can toggle whether the chess pieces are animated.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 15:20

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

"I don't want to watch monsters do battle, that takes too much time. I'd rather just have combat resolved instantly." - a person who plays videogames, apparently.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 15:44

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

nomadologique posted:

poo poo like that is fun at first, don't get me wrong. but it doesn't last. it doesn't keep a player around.

one of my favorite books from when i was a kid was a magic the gathering book where it was just about a magic tournament, where wizards battled with the same spells and poo poo you used in the game. so the whole plotline and whatever was just an excuse to write scenes that were exactly what you imagined you were doing when you played magic.

that was awesome, because instead of putting cards on the table, the wizards summoned real imps that went out and interacted with real bears! and they like, fought! and then somebody would cause an earthquake to open the ground and the imps and the bears would fall in, but the sprites would just fly right over and keep attacking the wizard in the face with their little spears.

right, see, that's cool for two reasons: one, it's a book, and i'm there for that; two, it's dynamic. the bears and the imps don't always do the same thing. they have "real world" creative interactions, at least, if i trust the book.

of course if i could "play" magic the gathering and it would be an actual loving wizard battle i would. but it's not. it will never be. it is a card game, meant to be fun. unfortunately, the fun comes from the mechanical interactions of the cards, and basically from the meta-gaming, which sad to say breaks the "reality" of the game's fiction in favor of understanding that it's a game.

we are human adults, and even if we play dumb loving card games like little baby children, it's still impossible to make that "real" enough in an adult mind to hold the attention. the thing that makes you play the game is the game itself, not pointless and repetitive animations.

why was hearthstone fun for the 2 months that i played it? simple, easy to learn mechanics, quick game resolution, a medium sized meta that takes a while to learn, and the feeling you have as your statistical-gambling mind actively grows and strengthens. by the time you are a "good" player you can see lines of play, and their reasons for and against, in a way that did not exist when you were a "bad" player. that is what is fun about the game.

Ugh fine I see your point.

I still want a Hi-Def Battle Chess remake, though.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 15:58

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

BigBoss posted:

Who the gently caress cares Dead Or Alive Xtreme 3 is coming out soon that's gonna own.

So they are releasing it in the US now or what?

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 16:07

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

BigBoss posted:

Apparently there was some stink about it. Since the PS4 isn't region locked you can play any version? I remember there was some ppl upset about it on tumblr or whatever. Predictably they moved to the next thing to be upset about like a week later. http://www.play-asia.com/dead-or-alive-xtreme-3-fortune-multi-language/13/709dv7

So if we wanted to play DOAX 3 we'd have to import the Japanese version is what you're saying?

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 16:28

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

I'm gonna need to see more pictures of the female characters' butts before I can really make a decision about this game.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 17:44

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Blizzard has been dead to me from the first moment they introduced always on DRM to their games.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 18:13

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Young Freud posted:

Ok...

It should be noted that the models of Tracer and Widowmaker, as well as D.Va, have been hacked and have already made their way into Source Porn...I mean Film Maker.

Yes, even before the game has been properly released.

Hmm yes but what about Zarya's butt?

# ¿ Mar 3, 2016 16:20

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

notZaar posted:

I could buy that if not for the pathetic mental gymnastics that the game went to in order to try to justify her battle bikini. It comes off as repressed and skeevy.

Knowing Kojima, it was probably a tongue in cheek reference to other games' overwrought justifications for fanservice.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2016 18:03

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Zzulu posted:

Don't know what battle bikini you were talking about so I GIS'd it and I'm okay with the results

Ugh eat a sandwich, amirite?

# ¿ Mar 3, 2016 18:16

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

vyst posted:

Look at those gross knees

If any of these women approached me and offered sex, I would say "no thank you."

# ¿ Mar 3, 2016 18:24

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 08:37

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

AugmentedVision posted:

Hate to break it to you, but Kojima has an emotional age of 12 and everything that's in Metal Gear is there because he unironically thinks it's cool.

Okay well then there's still no problem.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2016 18:50

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > "Overwatch" is going to be the greatest video game of all time