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DICKLORD BONE
Aug 27, 2003

Centripetal Horse posted:

"... parking lot. Your box is used to rancid meat."

Doob felt bad almost immediately. Almost. Tasha wasn't to blame for this... this... The word Doobie wanted was "fiasco," but he didn't know that, because he had no idea what "fiasco" meant. If someone had tapped him on the shoulder as he sat there amid his ruined weiners, and told him that the word he wanted was "fiasco," Doobie would have thought the guy was talking about a foreign moped, like the ones those faggy French - freedom - people were always zipping around on. Doob didn't care much for the French, but he had to admit they had the right idea about smoking; smoke 'em in restaurants; smoke 'em at home; hell, smoke 'em in court, and at funerals. (Author's note: I just assume Doobie smokes like a chimney, or did until his doctor made him quit, because Alabama. Maybe these days he just chews, you know, for his health.) Sighing, Doob heaved his aging southern bulk off the pavement, and set to collecting the hotdogs that were at the heart of this... this... Well, something bad, anyway.

Doobie was just plopping the last slimy dog into the dumpster and brushing off his hands when he heard someone approaching from behind. A customer! Well, I'll be. Doobie turned around, cheered up by a job well done, and the prospect of four, maybe five, dollars going into his pocket. Putting on his best, mostly-intact smile, the Doobster turned to greet the customer, but both the words and his burgeoning smile died on his lips. The man in front of him was wearing a crisp, white business shirt, and holding a clipboard. Behind the man was a not-new Chevy Malibu bearing the seal of Pickens County, AL.

"Mr. 'Doobie' Wayne Robinson," the man asked, in a manner that Doobie would have called "officious" if Doobie had ever read a goddamn book.

"Yeah," Doob drawled cautiously.

"My name is Wilbur Kumquat. I'm with the country department of health. May we head inside?"

Reluctantly, Doobie led the man into Doobie's Dog House. Passing the dumpster, Doob gave silent thanks to the good Lord above for having him drop that box of rotten dogs just in time to dodge a health inspection. The man upstairs was looking out for him! With that thought, and entering the Dog House, where Doobie was lord and master, Doobie felt his confidence and his cockiness coming back up.

"Well, now. What can I do for you Mr. Kumquat," Doobie asked, putting the slightest emphasis on the first syllable, and smirking a bit as he waited for a reply. The man gave no sign of having noticed the slight.

"You can take me into your kitchen, Mr. Robinson..."

Finish the loving story man

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Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
sun rises in east, goons post about hot dogs

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

Microwaves Mom posted:

I'm just fine because I respect the dead.

You, on the other hand, are hosed.

Hey! I'll respect them when I feel like it OK? Your not my mom.

On the other hand, I hear the first to be visited by Doob-chibiabos-xibalba will be those who donated to his kickstarter.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010




Universe Master posted:

Half that poo poo is going to fall off the second you try to eat it, same as the first one.

you just eat it over the plate bro then you can scoop it up and paw it into your mouth like a filthy hobo

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

hemale in pain posted:

you just eat it over the plate bro then you can scoop it up and paw it into your mouth like a filthy hobo

You know in reality it's going to be eaten with a fork, a most shameful way to eat a dog.

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

https://twitter.com/NatashaR3085/status/692922003507015681

https://twitter.com/NatashaR3085/status/692923213391794177

Yes, we're jealous of you both being unemployed with 3 children to support :yikes:

lowtax doobie is coming watch out!!

bradzilla fucked around with this message at 13:33 on Mar 2, 2016

T.S. Smelliot
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Old doobie made a pact with master mirror and now his Taint is reaped it seems

T.S. Smelliot
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Except in this case the crossroads demon was decidedly less groomed and rather more rotund

Boinks
Nov 24, 2003



SquadronROE posted:

what is in it?

Also gas station hot dogs are the best ever

Luke warm future roller meat overstock.

Kro-Bar
Jul 24, 2004
USPOL May
Doobs got out of the game too soon! Now he could sell beer on the off-occasion the og ouse is open.

Alabama's last dry county votes to legalize alcohol sales

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
gonna make the slampiece buy me a hot dog piled high at the pier today then a classy lunch and soem oysters and poo poo then we gonna bang :wiggle:

Morglon
Jan 13, 2010

Safe and sound, detached from reality.
Just like your posting.

bradzilla posted:

https://twitter.com/NatashaR3085/status/692922003507015681

https://twitter.com/NatashaR3085/status/692923213391794177

Yes, we're jealous of you both being unemployed with 3 children to support :yikes:

lowtax doobie is coming watch out!!

I'm jealous about people giving the guy free money, I want free money too. Wouldn't move to Alabama and marry a racist, homophobic Jawzilla for a meager 10k though.

Raku
Nov 7, 2012

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide
Instead of facing doobie head on like Uwe Boll, Lowtax is going to set up a mud wrestle between their wives this time, winner gets SA and becomes trustee of Schmorky's abandoned male parts

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

Lowtax should make Jaws the sole mod of DnD.

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

Wafflz posted:

Lowtax should make Jaws the sole mod of DnD.

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"
Bk chili dogs are legit decent fast food. Namaste

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:

Wafflz posted:

Lowtax should make Jaws the sole mod of DnD.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

Universe Master posted:

Half that poo poo is going to fall off the second you try to eat it, same as the first one.

look at dis idiot who doesnt like his dogs "good n messy, eat it with a fork".

drat. wow.

The Twinkie Czar
Dec 31, 2004
I went for super stud.

Kro-Bar posted:

Doobs got out of the game too soon! Now he could sell beer on the off-occasion the og ouse is open.

Alabama's last dry county votes to legalize alcohol sales

That's Clay County. Remember that Doobie's was home of the Pickens County Tornado. The county can legalize but cities like Reform can still ban alcohol sales. Such is the way of silly liquor laws.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
i want a non melted cheese slaw dog

Tumble
Jun 24, 2003
I'm not thinking of anything!

Daedra posted:

wish I had a hotdog right now

I think i may search ebay for one of those hotdog steamers that gas stations use, i think they're only a like $200 or so

goons whats the best hotdog to put in my hypothetical future steamer?

Boinks
Nov 24, 2003



Daedra posted:

i want a non melted cheese slaw dog

Pretty hard to melt the cheese when the slaw is cold.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel

King of Bees posted:

I heard doob shack was built over an ancient burial ground and Doobie ain't Doobie anymore and soon none of us will be us either. C/d?

The entire United States was built on an ancient India burial ground. Spooky.







:smith:

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH

Boinks posted:

Pretty hard to melt the cheese when the slaw is cold.

just got myself banned from this thread :(

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Centripetal Horse posted:

"... parking lot. Your box is used to rancid meat."

Doob felt bad almost immediately. Almost. Tasha wasn't to blame for this... this... The word Doobie wanted was "fiasco," but he didn't know that, because he had no idea what "fiasco" meant. If someone had tapped him on the shoulder as he sat there amid his ruined weiners, and told him that the word he wanted was "fiasco," Doobie would have thought the guy was talking about a foreign moped, like the ones those faggy French - freedom - people were always zipping around on. Doob didn't care much for the French, but he had to admit they had the right idea about smoking; smoke 'em in restaurants; smoke 'em at home; hell, smoke 'em in court, and at funerals. (Author's note: I just assume Doobie smokes like a chimney, or did until his doctor made him quit, because Alabama. Maybe these days he just chews, you know, for his health.) Sighing, Doob heaved his aging southern bulk off the pavement, and set to collecting the hotdogs that were at the heart of this... this... Well, something bad, anyway.

Doobie was just plopping the last slimy dog into the dumpster and brushing off his hands when he heard someone approaching from behind. A customer! Well, I'll be. Doobie turned around, cheered up by a job well done, and the prospect of four, maybe five, dollars going into his pocket. Putting on his best, mostly-intact smile, the Doobster turned to greet the customer, but both the words and his burgeoning smile died on his lips. The man in front of him was wearing a crisp, white business shirt, and holding a clipboard. Behind the man was a not-new Chevy Malibu bearing the seal of Pickens County, AL.

"Mr. 'Doobie' Wayne Robinson," the man asked, in a manner that Doobie would have called "officious" if Doobie had ever read a goddamn book.

"Yeah," Doob drawled cautiously.

"My name is Wilbur Kumquat. I'm with the country department of health. May we head inside?"

Reluctantly, Doobie led the man into Doobie's Dog House. Passing the dumpster, Doob gave silent thanks to the good Lord above for having him drop that box of rotten dogs just in time to dodge a health inspection. The man upstairs was looking out for him! With that thought, and entering the Dog House, where Doobie was lord and master, Doobie felt his confidence and his cockiness coming back up.

"Well, now. What can I do for you Mr. Kumquat," Doobie asked, putting the slightest emphasis on the first syllable, and smirking a bit as he waited for a reply. The man gave no sign of having noticed the slight.

"You can take me into your kitchen, Mr. Robinson..."

Finish the story my cock is throbbing

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

Pennywise the Frown posted:

The entire United States was built on an ancient India burial ground. Spooky.







:smith:

India! That's horrifying! Doobs has become Shiva... :(

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel

King of Bees posted:

India! That's horrifying! Doobs has become Shiva... :(

lol, meant Indian. Was going to say native but the term is always "ancient Indian."

Not editing it.

Thunder God Biden
Sep 8, 2004


Israel is not a legitimate entity, and no amount of pressure can force us to recognize its right to exist.


MattD1zzl3 posted:

Teds hot dogs in Buffalo will forever be willing the hot dog racket. How else does a place stay open in rust belt NY?

Holy poo poo I now miss the gently caress out of Ted's Hot Dogs. You never realize what you had until it's gone.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.
I like that Goons are horrified at the prospect of vegetables getting in the way of hot dog flavor.

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH

Das Boo posted:

I like that Goons are horrified at the prospect of vegetables getting in the way of hot dog flavor.

sorry for not wanting carrots and quinoa on a hotdog

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat

Das Boo posted:

I like that Goons are horrified at the prospect of vegetables getting in the way of hot dog flavor.

lol at goons for wanting to taste the thing they ordered

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

steinrokkan posted:

lol at goons for wanting to taste the thing they ordered

lol at goons for ordering a hotdog, yes.

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
"I don't eat hotdogs" - a dumbass

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.
"What is this poo poo?! I ordered a burger, not bread, lettuce and tomato!" *Wipes face with meat patty and snorts ground chuck for ultimate flavor supremacy*

Alright, y'all have fun now.

Tumble
Jun 24, 2003
I'm not thinking of anything!

Das Boo posted:

lol at goons for ordering a hotdog, yes.

Hot dogs are delicious, they just don't happen to be a very good vehicle for lots of toppings. I am perfectly willing to have some veggies on it but don't serve me 4x as much as their is actual hot dog.

If you want to gussy up a hotdog, I'd prefer they up the quality of the basic parts like the meat and the bun rather than pile a bunch of random stuff on it.

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat

Das Boo posted:

"What is this poo poo?! I ordered a burger, not bread, lettuce and tomato!" *Wipes face with meat patty and snorts ground chuck for ultimate flavor supremacy*

Alright, y'all have fun now.

Go make a retarded child's scribble and let the adults have a talk.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

steinrokkan posted:

Go make a retarded child's scribble and let the adults have a talk.

And you do whatever it is you're known for doing, big guy! ;)

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

Daedra posted:

sorry for not wanting carrots and quinoa on a hotdog

maybe its good with those things

maybe you have the palate of a 5 year old

who knows

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Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
only literal children don't eat hotdogs without a layer of kale and kobe beef

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