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Guavanaut
Nov 27, 2009

Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998



Toilet Rascal


UKMT March 2016
Spring is in the air, bringing Mothering Sunday, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, and continuing economic uncertainty.

What happened over February?
• The Independent and BBC3 announce that they are moving to online only, some new paper called New Day announces that it is new and different.
• Junior dohtors hontinue striking, Jeremy Hunt hontinues missing the point of what they are striking over.
• Apple's open defiance of the FBI on constitutional and civil liberties grounds deals something of a blow to Theresa May's Draft Communications Data Bill, which is now announcing that companies will only have to give over data if it is 'practicable'. Hacking of end users' devices remains on the books though.
• The Tories continue to eat themselves over Brexit, with a shower of failures of humanity listing terrible reasons to support each side.
• A plane was forced to change its course after some dick shone a laser pointer at it. A spokesperson from the pilots' union called for all lasers to be banned and claimed that a £10 laser pointer could easily knock a plane out of the sky.
• RAF Typhoons were scrambled to intercept Russian bombers over British airspace at a cost of several million, leading some to wonder the validity of the above statement and/or the cost efficiency of Britain's air defence initiative.
• Didcot Power Station continued to inspire confidence in British electricity infrastructure. Yvette Cooper claims that Britain needs a new app, not a working national power grid.
• Jeremy Corbyn's cat refuses to name its position on Trident.

Previous Threads
UKMT February 2016
UKMT January 2016 - Not The Best Month
UKMT December 2015 - Happy Xmas (War Is Over (lolno))
UKMT November 2015
UKMT October 2015

Pedogeddon Thread

Pedogeddon Thread - Not-Racist Pakistani Edition

Fash Thread

Other Fash Thread

#ukgoons on synIRC, in which crispix encourages us to mock Question Time.

Finally, please keep the following points in mind:

quote:

1. It's not a person's fault if they are poor;
2. It's not their fault if they are disabled;
3. Neo-liberalism doesn't work;
4. The Daily Mail lies (maybe even about Pig Dave and charity);
5. Neo-liberalism has never worked;
6. The British Empire was not a force for good;
7. Neo-liberalism will never work;
8. Trans people are not "men in dresses";
9. Gendered insults are not okay;
10. If something is "so gay" it had better be something that is really happy;
11. Trains are awesome;
12. The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles;

The fundraiser for Bristol Mind in memory of Fluo is ongoing (thanks Serotonin):
https://www.justgiving.com/Brenda-Bridges1/

Pesky Splinter posted:

The hypocrisy is the most galling thing...and the sheer refusal to budge from ideology, (but that's pretty much applicable to every action they do :shrug:), but especially on their backwards-arsed drug policies.
There does seem to be more momentum on the other side now. LEAP UK had a big meeting in the parliament buildings last week. It's too easy for those in power not to care though at the moment. Or to pander to the ridiculousness of the remaining print press. The only reliably anti-prohibition one in past years seemed to be the Independent.

e: The 2016 Budget has been announced. How does this affect you? Find out more:

Guavanaut fucked around with this message at 18:08 on Mar 17, 2016

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HorseLord
Aug 26, 2014
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwZV0vl7GiE]

社會主義好,社會主義好!
社會主義國家人民地位高。
反動派被打倒。帝國主義夾着尾巴逃跑了。*
全國人民大團結,掀起了社會主義建設高潮,建設高潮。

Jrbg
May 20, 2014

Happy March

Boing
Jul 12, 2005

trapped in custom title factory, send help
Let's get started:

The Tories systematically cheat in elections, says their own campaign manager

The Canary posted:

In an extraordinary investigation for Channel 4, Michael Crick has uncovered repeated electoral fraud by the Conservative party in the run-up to the 2015 general election. While the rest of the broadcast media largely ignores the story, the party’s own workers are speaking out, calling for an investigation into the Tories’ “systematic” breach of election rules.

If you don’t watch Channel 4 News, this may be the first you’ve heard of the Tories’ criminal efforts to buy elections, although The Canary covered it here. So here’s a quick outline:

It was 2014, the year before the general election. David Cameron was fighting off “the Ukip threat”. He had already pledged to hold an EU referendum to keep eurosceptic voters happy. Then one of his MPs resigned, triggering a by-election in Newark – which Ukip thought it could win. Within months, two more by-elections were triggered when the Conservative MPs for Clacton and Rochester & Strood, Douglas Carswell and Mark Reckless, both defected to Ukip.

The Conservatives threw everything they had at fighting the by-elections. David Cameron visited Rochester five times, and MPs and Conservative Headquarters’ staff flooded all three constituencies to do whatever it took to win. Now it seems that included breaking the law.

Channel 4 has uncovered hard evidence that the Conservatives spent more than the legal £100,000 limit in each of the three by-elections. Not just by a few pounds, or by a few thousand pounds, but by well over £90,000 across the three elections.

Then, instead of declaring their overspend, the party submitted misleading expense returns to returning officers – a criminal offence. It kept well over 1,200 nights of local hotel accommodation off the books. Many of those nights were signed for in a personal capacity by Conservative HQ Campaign Specialist Marion Little, who was later awarded an OBE for her by-elections work.

Confronted with this evidence, Conservative members were horrified by their party HQ’s behaviour. Delyth Miles, chair of the Clacton Conservative Party Association, immediately called for an investigation. Katie Woodland, then a paid Conservative party campaign manager for Telford who was asked to help with the Clacton by-election campaign told Channel 4:

The fact that it happened in three by-elections, one after the other, it’s systematic. And they know the law. They’ve been running elections for years … To do it three in a row, and to do it pretty big in a couple of places, means there was full intention behind it.

The Conservative party broke the law. It overspent on at least three by-election campaigns and made “a false declaration as to election expenses” – in breach of the Representation of the People Act 1983. The aim of that law is to protect democracy by ensuring a level playing field between political parties. But, thanks to a 12-month time limit on prosecuting the offence, the party will probably get off scot-free.

Despite Tory corruption, Ukip won in Clacton and in Rochester & Strood. But the Conservatives won a comfortable majority in Newark. And Labour, realising it would be outspent, barely bothered to campaign in the elections.

The questions this raises for our democracy couldn’t be more serious. If our governing party is systematically engaging in electoral fraud, what kind of democracy do we live in?

Voyeur
Dec 5, 2000
I like to watch.

Guavanaut posted:

• Junior dohtors hontinue striking, Jeremy Hunt hontinues missing the point of what they are striking over.
Well played.

sebzilla
Mar 17, 2009

Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.


I know the Labour candidate for Newark and he's understandably not happy about all this. Not sure what he'll think of the article saying he barely bothered to campaign, though!

Lord of the Llamas
Jul 9, 2002

EULER'VE TO SEE IT VENN SOMEONE CALLS IT THE WRONG THING AND PROVOKES MY WRATH
It's Super Tuesday all hail our future President King Emperor of the world.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax
Not sure all twelve points are correct, OP.

Tesseraction
Apr 5, 2009

If things don't start picking up this month then 2016 can officially go gently caress itself.

Manic X
Jul 1, 2015

:britain:

Tesseraction posted:

If things don't start picking up this month then 2016 can officially go gently caress itself.

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011

Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014


I have no problem with di Caprio getting the Oscar. He's been nominated six times and deserved the award on two of them.

Guavanaut
Nov 27, 2009

Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998



Toilet Rascal
Oscars are a bourgeois construct.

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010
The Revenant was the most gorgeous film I've ever been really bored by.

Taear
Nov 26, 2004

Ask me about the shitty opinions I have about Paradox games!

Jedit posted:

I have no problem with di Caprio getting the Oscar. He's been nominated six times and deserved the award on two of them.

It does feel like he's got it this time because "he just should" although the best actor crop this time isn't exactly brilliant.

I dunno if it's just a british thing but as stuff ramped up in Revenant and he kept having worse and worse things happen people in my cinema were laughing because it Went Too Far.

Phoon
Apr 23, 2010

the academy of motion picture arts and sciences was created to forestall the unionisation of hollywood workers

Gorn Myson
Aug 8, 2007






Mad Max should have won all of the awards because it's the best movie ever.

Lord of the Llamas
Jul 9, 2002

EULER'VE TO SEE IT VENN SOMEONE CALLS IT THE WRONG THING AND PROVOKES MY WRATH

Taear posted:

It does feel like he's got it this time because "he just should" although the best actor crop this time isn't exactly brilliant.

I dunno if it's just a british thing but as stuff ramped up in Revenant and he kept having worse and worse things happen people in my cinema were laughing because it Went Too Far.

Yeah it did get pretty silly.

Shame The Big Short didn't win.

Manic X
Jul 1, 2015

:britain:

Gonzo McFee posted:

The Revenant was the most gorgeous film I've ever been really bored by.

This.


I had the same feeling when watching Beast of No Nations. I was getting emotional, whilst at the same time bored by the film. There needs to be a new word created for this feeling, but I'm not sure what.

Guavanaut
Nov 27, 2009

Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998



Toilet Rascal
Some variant on weltschmerz? Kinoschmerz maybe.

AstuteCat
May 4, 2007

Captivapathy?

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.
I'm surprised The Danish Girl only got one gong. The Academy normally loves their tragedy porn.

Regarde Aduck
Oct 19, 2012

c l o u d k i t t e n
Grimey Drawer
Who the gently caress cares about Di Caprio when Tom Hardy is right there.

Kegluneq
Feb 18, 2011

Mr President, the physical reality of Prime Minister Corbyn is beyond your range of apprehension. If you'll just put on these PINKOVISION glasses...

TinTower posted:

I'm surprised The Danish Girl only got one gong. The Academy normally loves their tragedy porn.

You'd have been complaining even more if Eddie Redmayne had won Best Actor though.

Regarde Aduck posted:

Who the gently caress cares about Di Caprio when Tom Hardy is right there.

Best Supporting Actor: Tom Hardy in Mad Max.

Gorn Myson posted:

Mad Max should have won all of the awards because it's the best movie ever.

Kegluneq fucked around with this message at 11:55 on Mar 1, 2016

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.

Kegluneq posted:

You'd have been complaining even more if Eddie Redmayne had won Best Actor though.

Well, yeah. Tangerine was superior in every way and got totally snubbed. :colbert:

Relevant video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjDufjtIr1M

Darth Walrus
Feb 13, 2012

Taear posted:

It does feel like he's got it this time because "he just should" although the best actor crop this time isn't exactly brilliant.

I dunno if it's just a british thing but as stuff ramped up in Revenant and he kept having worse and worse things happen people in my cinema were laughing because it Went Too Far.

Funny thing is, if you check out Hugh Glass's Wikipedia article, that's pretty much what actually happened to the poor dude.

Tesseraction
Apr 5, 2009

I see fash thread (euro edition) is still discussing whether the refugees should be turned away for ARE CULTURE or ARE MONEY, leaving many to decide whether to argue with the racists or the free market true believers, and several others just staring in dismay at yet another dumb, dumb argument.

One thing I found particularly funny after seeing noted dipshit OhYeah consistently put out lovely arguments is that journalist Abi Wilkinson (of Mirror/Grauniad/rightthink departments) did a piece on Cologne last week that even specifically mentioned Estonia's large number of victim-blamers RE: rape victims. Starting to think she's reading these threads (while shaking her head in dismay).

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009
Rather pleased that we managed to run out the EuroPol menace in under a week. We have defended the people's republic of UKMT, and now march to socialist victory over all of D&D!

IceAgeComing
Jan 29, 2013

pretty fucking embarrassing to watch
Anyone ever gone to see a TV recording? I'm number 1 in the standby list for Robot Wars and I don't know whether hanging around would be a good idea

Tesseraction
Apr 5, 2009

IceAgeComing posted:

Anyone ever gone to see a TV recording? I'm number 1 in the standby list for Robot Wars and I don't know whether hanging around would be a good idea

I recommend getting there earlier than the time they say, for popular shows everyone has the same idea, and unless you're VIP you will just end up being so far back in the queue you don't get in. An hour might be too much but if you're not there half an hour beforehand you could be poo poo out of luck.

IceAgeComing
Jan 29, 2013

pretty fucking embarrassing to watch
Nah I've already got my ticket scanned and am just waiting; I'm just a standby

It's much busier than I thought it'd be, I thought that I was too late which I was bit only by like 30 seconds

namesake
Jun 19, 2006

"When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

Unless it's pissing down on you or you've got lots of other things to do today why wouldn't you wait?

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Oberleutnant posted:

Rather pleased that we managed to run out the EuroPol menace in under a week. We have defended the people's republic of UKMT, and now march to socialist victory over all of D&D!

They'll soon be back. And in greater numbers.

IceAgeComing
Jan 29, 2013

pretty fucking embarrassing to watch
At the time they were making us stand outside and it was chucking it down but now they've decided to be nice and let us sit in the tent with the people actually getting in so I'll defo stay now

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

Tesseraction posted:

I see fash thread (euro edition) is still discussing whether the refugees should be turned away for ARE CULTURE or ARE MONEY, leaving many to decide whether to argue with the racists or the free market true believers, and several others just staring in dismay at yet another dumb, dumb argument.

One thing I found particularly funny after seeing noted dipshit OhYeah consistently put out lovely arguments is that journalist Abi Wilkinson (of Mirror/Grauniad/rightthink departments) did a piece on Cologne last week that even specifically mentioned Estonia's large number of victim-blamers RE: rape victims. Starting to think she's reading these threads (while shaking her head in dismay).

help me im stuck in europol and i cant get out

Renaissance Robot
Oct 10, 2010

Bite my furry metal ass
It was quiet over lunch so I decided to wander into auspol:

Vahtooch posted:

Absolutely stunning op. Now I'll just go back to sipping lattes and not wanting to work hard, and you know, crying into said latte since I just read this.

https://www.themonthly.com.au/issue/2016/march/1456750800/richard-cooke/boomer-supremacy

I'm aware that retarded alcohol legislation (plus all the other poo poo) doesn't really make our political situation any better, but it's sure doing a great job of distracting me!

Helen Highwater
Feb 19, 2014

And furthermore
Grimey Drawer
What the gently caress is this?

Clean For the Queen.

'Hey proles, you don't have jobs and the people who were formerly employed keeping your streets clean have all been rendered down into trace elements but could you do their work for free Her Maj? Did I hit my head and wake up in an alternate timeline where the feudal system was somehow still a thing in TYOOL 2016?

Renaissance Robot
Oct 10, 2010

Bite my furry metal ass
*tugs forelock*

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009

Helen Highwater posted:

What the gently caress is this?

Clean For the Queen.

'Hey proles, you don't have jobs and the people who were formerly employed keeping your streets clean have all been rendered down into trace elements but could you do their work for free Her Maj? Did I hit my head and wake up in an alternate timeline where the feudal system was somehow still a thing in TYOOL 2016?

Lol are you only just hearing about this? It popped up... I wanna say just after New Year? Anyway it go loving savaged the first time it appeared and it went all quiet I guess assuming the heat would die off.

Anyway I've taken a principled stance of throwing all my trash in the street whenever I remember that it's a Thing.

Not Operator
Jan 1, 2009

Not A doctor, THE Doctor!
I will personally be contributing nothing but filth and garbage to the UK until this project's end.

edit: And now that I see Ober's post, I know I'm doing the right thing.

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Tesseraction
Apr 5, 2009

OwlFancier posted:

help me im stuck in europol and i cant get out

It is why I'm Vote Leave. *turns to camera, gives thumbs up + cheesy grin*

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