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WELCOME TO MLS, WHERE THE RULES ARE MADE UP, THE POINTS DON'T MATTER, AND EVERYONE'S JERSEY IS BLUE It's Saturday, March 5, 2016, and tomorrow begins the 21st Major League Soccer season, the top mens' league in the US and Canada. Our winter is over and no longer must we pretend to give a poo poo about Leicester City! LA imported a bunch of old Euros, Chicago burned everything to the ground and started anew, New England got more of Vancouver's leftovers, and we're all going to spend the year pretending the friggin' Timbers weren't last year's winners. NYCFC wowed us all by showing just how apathetic Pirlo could be, and Orlando City fans raced to the top of the league for being complete loving dorks, which, in MLS, is a real accomplishment. No expansion teams this year but next year there's a couple. If you're Didier Drogba, you're hanging out for a few weeks to avoid turf for as long as you can (bonne chance with that); if you're Jermaine Jones, you're in Denver waiting out a six game suspension because your last act as a Rev was living out the American dream by slugging a ref. DC have a new crest that looks like the eagle is wearing a corset and Columbus have a jersey that looks like they lost a fight with an inkjet cartridge. Many of the 2010 USMNT World Cup team and qualifying squad members went out and had babies this year, so look for them to be drafted in about 2032. (You think I'm kidding? LA just signed Roy Lassiter's kid). Seattle managed to keep Jordan Morris but lose Oba to the exotic and mysterious orient. And the Philadelphia Union are a team that exists. ... WHAT'S AT STAKE Trophies and tournaments to be won, besides MLS Cup: CONCACAF Champions League (er, places to play that next year 'cause uh), Multilevel Marketing Canadian Championship, Supporters' Shield, US Open Cup. All-Star Game is in San Jose with Arsenal as the opponent. CONCACAF and CONMEBOL have World Cup qualifiers so expect callups for that, as well as the Copa America Centenario. There is a small break early-mid June to accommodate Copa America, during which time the Canadian Championship games are held; I'd expect some US Open Cup games to pop up then too because if you can't beat some USL jobbers with your second and third string, well...that's annually about half the league. Chicks got the Olympics; dudes may or may not. ... WHAT'S ON TV Nationally, Fox networks, ESPN networks, Univision networks, and TSN/RDS networks. Don't speak Spanish for Univision? They're doing an SAP English audio option, although you miss a lot of fun of inane Spanish language chatter and player middle names (MORGENSTERN!). How you get those channels is up to you, your cable/satellite/internet provider, and your favorite computer herpes-riddled pirate stream site. Locally and online, MLS Live, which is traditionally a free preview over opening weekend. League TV and streaming schedule with instructions on how to use SAP ... SHOULD I GET MLS LIVE? If you only care about your team, and you have cable, your team gets a lot of national coverage, and/or your team's local feed is blacked out, no. If you are a giant nerd--which you are, because this is MLS--and you like to watch any old game that's on, you're a cord-cutter, or you're a big fantasy player, yes. You won't get any Fox, ESPN, Univision games on it, and a few teams still black out games that are covered locally, but otherwise, I'm a fan. ... SHOULD I GO TO A GAME? Hell yes. If you've got an MLS, NASL, NWSL, USL, PDL, NCAA, etc team in your area, get out to a game if at all possible. It ain't gonna be Bayern Munich vs Barcelona, but you'll have a good time and meet fun people. Likewise, if there's folks in your neighborhood who meet up at a bar for viewing parties, drop on by. The best way to experience American soccer is to show up and have a good time. ... WHAT'S IN THIS THREAD News, views, discussion, running jokes, and CascadiaChat about MLS. Probably gonna see some NWSL. NASL/USL/PDL, the lower divisions, get their own thread. NCAA soccer chat--Tomorrow's Draft Picks and Waiver Claims Today!--might show up in the fall, might not. Why MLS is/is not bad, why Europe/Latin America is better, why don't we have promotion/relegation, and what expansion means to you are definitely new and exciting topics we're all dying to hear about. Live weekly or monthly in-game threads for your game day OH loving HELL commentary will be posted separately. Beyond the introductory fantasy section below, ongoing fantasy threads will be in the Armchair Quarterback. ... FANTASY Pat Noonan having nailed his penalty, Jay Heaps lines up to take the las--right, not that fantasy. B.B. Rodriguez posted:Welp people. It's that time of year again. Yes, it's Fantasy MLS time. ... REFERENCES: MLS AIN'T JUST A LEAGUE, IT'S A DEGREE Boys Girls Schedule, boys Schedule, girls Transactions Du Nord, Soccer Insider, The Equalizer and everybody's on twitter, instagram, snapchat these days for your social media needs ... The coolers are packed. The jerseys are bought. The banners are painted. The mohawks are bleached. The chainsaws and muskets are oiled. The cannons are loaded. The stars have aligned. Let us celebrate the opening of the 2016 MLS season with the adding of chocolate to milk and the team intros and running jokes to this thread. Hoover Dam fucked around with this message at 15:56 on Mar 6, 2016 |
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Mar 6, 2016 03:45
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gently caress Orlando, now and forever. Yay MLS!
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Mar 6, 2016 03:55
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Hoover Dam posted:And the Philadelphia Union are a team that exists. [citation needed] Someone besides me do the Sounders write-up for a change kthxbye
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Mar 6, 2016 04:18
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Tomorrow Columbus will get their revenge. I took Monday off so I can drink enough to forget last year's finals.
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Mar 6, 2016 04:18
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Mar 6, 2016 04:46
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whypick1 posted:[citation needed] Sure, what the hell, I'll give it a go. I'm totally stealing stuff from last year's though.
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Mar 6, 2016 05:35
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Tigren summed it up. I'm living in the past. Through Him, in Him, with Him. In the unity of Il Bruce. All glory and honor is yours Almighty Bruce. Forever and ever. #racetoseis Let's not embarrass ourselves you fucks.
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Mar 6, 2016 06:19
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David Beckham and an unnamed fan lift the MLS Cup.
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Mar 6, 2016 07:35
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Are you spending a rainy weekend away from a tech job drinking an IPA while smugly looking down upon others to buoy your own self-loathing for having sold out to the man? We have a team for you! Seattle Sounders FC  Inventors of Soccer Established 2009, but let's pretend it was 1974 Home Stadium: CenturyLink Field "The Clink"  Your stadium may be an SSS and have grass or less lovely turf, but is it in FIFA? No? Heh. Shut up, Vancouver We also may end up playing Open Cup games at the prestigious Starfire Sports Complex in Tukwila. It's a small stadium on the Sounders training grounds, but it has a beer garden! Ownership Adrian Hanauer (majority owner, owned the USL Sounders, used to be GM), Joe Roth (Hollywood producer of classics such as The Jerky Boys Movie), Paul Allen (owns CLink and roughly half of Seattle), Drew Carey (knows the value of the Showcase Showdown) In addition to the real owners, season ticket holders elect an Alliance Council of fans that is consulted on FO decisions. From people on the Council, it's not been much besides a focus group, and they've not had the control some have wished. Season ticket holders also get to vote on the GM every 4 years. Coaching Staff  Head Coach Sigi Schmid: Still here, still no MLS Cup despite being the winningest coach in MLS History. Plays relatively conservative, but generally able to grind out wins and find diamonds in the rough. Lets the foot off the pedal too early, depends too heavily on "his" guys, and subs very late. Bitches about the refs. Some fans are frustrated, ready to court Jason Kreis, but Sigi is still here.  General Manager Garth Lagerway: Just came to the Sounders from RSL last year, replacing Adiran Hanauer. Has been part of finding some great guys last year during the dry spell. Team Likely Starting XI (Just guessing from the CCL match we just had) code: Sigi Changed the Formation We're now rocking a 4-3-3, from our 4-4-2 of past. I've not watched enough to tell if this will really be that much different, but I expect a little bit more crossing into the box from Friberg and Ivanschitz rather than attempting to dribble it in through Dempsey and Martins magic. Torres is still injured as far as I know, Brad Evans has been filling in for him, which is not ideal. Friberg and Ivanschitz will likely have some competition and rotation, especially when Alonso gets injured. Jones is a complete guess if he'll keep the starting spot. 2016 Schedule I think you should check out this website. soundersfc.com. Just check it out. 2015 Recap   Seattle started out looking like world beaters, winning and winning, despite Evans being at centerback. And then on June 16th, they played Portland in the Open Cup. It was not pretty. Three red cards, including Dempsey receiving a longer suspension for ripping up a ref's notebook. Martins injured, and out for weeks. More people got injured, some got called up for the Gold Cup. And that explains the summer of our discontent you see up above. People healed, we picked up some new guys, brought back an old guy, and gritted our teeth through the Evans Centerback Experiment. Seattle still made the playoffs, though that's partially thanks to them increasing the number of playoff spots. We managed to beat LA in the play-in game, who had long been thorns in our side, but then couldn't get it done against Dallas who advanced on penalties, and had to deal with the ignominy of seeing Portland eventually lift the Cup. Yeah, gently caress last year. Developmental teams The Sounders also have a second team that plays in USL, with the creative name of Sounders 2 (or S2). The nifty thing about S2 is that season ticket holders for that team can actually buy into being part owners of the team. There's also an U-23 team that plays in the PDL, and U18, U16, U15, and U14 youth academies. Notable Transfers In for 2016:
Notable Departures
Yep, this is a rebuilding year. History The name "Seattle Sounders" was first used as the name for an expansion team for the 1974 season of the original NASL. They made it to the Soccer Bowl twice, but never won. The name was revived for an A-League/USL team in 1994, where they managed to win 4 league championships despite having an orca for their mascot. In 2007, MLS awarded an expansion slot to Seattle, essentially "promoting" the USL team. Despite including the USL owner, the owners wanted to rename the team to get away from the "minor league" Sounders name. They offered up Seattle Alliance, Seattle Republic, and Seattle FC because someone must have been a huge Force Dork. The fans wrote in Seattle Sounders, and the owners acquiesced, only adding on an FC to the name. Seattle Sounders FC started playing in MLS in 2009, the invention of soccer. Since then they have done quite well at winning, making the playoffs every year, but not so much at actually winning MLS Cup itself. They've also done quite well at having annoyingly smug fans. Titles
Notable former Sounders
Rivalries
Fans / Media
Why you should invest heavily into the Sounders FC:
Sounders Goons:
foobardog fucked around with this message at 05:38 on Mar 9, 2016 |
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Mar 6, 2016 08:17
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gently caress, that took more work than I thought.
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Mar 6, 2016 08:17
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foobardog posted:Michael Marfan, MF  foobardog posted:Troy Perkins, GK - Waived, retired He's our academy's GK coach now.
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Mar 6, 2016 09:07
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gently caress You Go Crew.
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Mar 6, 2016 14:50
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It's 2016 OP.
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Mar 6, 2016 14:57
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Soccer is on tonight.
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Mar 6, 2016 15:06
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My bold prediction is that the Chicago Fire will not finish last in the East. But also won't make the playoffs. For real: I hope Paunovic's fast, pressing style will work during the regular season. It was really fun to watch in the preseason. It's a big change from...whatever the hell Frank Yallop was doing.
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Mar 6, 2016 15:31
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Will there still be a knockout round before the conference semifinal this season? Those were the best matches last time.
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Mar 6, 2016 15:36
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The Union added a whole bunch of dudes who I may or may not know and I hope at least some of them are good
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Mar 6, 2016 16:34
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DOOP posted:The Union added a whole bunch of dudes who I may or may not know and I hope at least some of them are good I hope you lose all of your games and your stadium burns down.
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Mar 6, 2016 16:36
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Shrapnig posted:I hope you lose all of your games and your stadium burns down. This but every team but mine
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Mar 6, 2016 16:37
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Your Boy Fancy posted:This but every team but mine To be fair if there's any stadium that should burn down it's yours.
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Mar 6, 2016 16:39
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ORLANDO CITY The Best Second Season Club The Only MLS Club with a Ballon d'Or Winner  Other notable players: Team USA member Brek Shea Rookie of the Year Cyle Larin USL Pro star Luke Boden Noted bottler Aurélien Collin Coach's son Harrison Heath New addition Antonio Nocerino STADIUM: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, FL (62,510 capacity)  New for 2016: We have a B team and a Women's team. 
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Mar 6, 2016 16:55
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Don't suck as bad this year, Fire.
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Mar 6, 2016 17:17
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Kaka picked up an injury and will miss the first couple of weeks.
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Mar 6, 2016 17:29
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Shrapnig posted:To be fair if there's any stadium that should burn down it's yours. That would require RFK to be flammable. You know it's asbestos and hate that holds us together.
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Mar 6, 2016 18:16
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Stephen Goff's annual sitdown with Bruce Arena was just published and it's as fun as ever. Some highlights:quote:What do you think of promotion and relegation here? quote:Did someone accuse you of cheating? quote:Can you name all the different mechanisms in MLS in which clubs can acquire players?
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Mar 6, 2016 18:22
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I have arrived at Toyota Park. My god, this really is the middle of nowhere. Go Fire!
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Mar 6, 2016 18:33
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Tigren posted:Stephen Goff's annual sitdown with Bruce Arena was just published and it's as fun as ever. Some highlights: are people required to have the stupidest loving reasons to oppose promotion/relegation? phil anschutz is a nightmare human being, no one cares about his millions.
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Mar 6, 2016 18:47
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be nice wicka posted:are people required to have the stupidest loving reasons to oppose promotion/relegation? phil anschutz is a nightmare human being, no one cares about his millions. I don't believe it's a requirement wicka. However, I do believe MLS is still in love with and indebted to Phil Anshutz. He and the Kraft family will run this league until the day it dies.
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Mar 6, 2016 18:54
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be nice wicka posted:are people required to have the stupidest loving reasons to oppose promotion/relegation? phil anschutz is a nightmare human being, no one cares about his millions. WARNING: PRO/REL CHAT IN THIS POST The way I see it, the only chance promotion and relegation would work in the US and Canada is for MLS to be an umbrella organization, like the USL was for a while in the minor leagues. For THAT to happen, there would need to be, say, 36 teams in MLS before a split could occur. It's not just out of the owners' interests - the average NASL club's attendance is less than half of the average MLS club's. Could you imagine Edmonton's ~3,000 people helping soccer's standing in American (and Canadian) culture?
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Mar 6, 2016 18:58
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CaptainYesterday posted:
Could you imagine Philadelphia Union or Chicago Fire helping soccer's standing in American culture?
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Mar 6, 2016 19:13
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Your Boy Fancy posted:This but every team but mine Fancy in 2017 
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Mar 6, 2016 19:18
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turn left thread nooooooooooh thank gently caress someone posted the March GDT.
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Mar 6, 2016 19:19
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Tigren posted:Could you imagine Philadelphia Union or Chicago Fire helping soccer's standing in American culture? are you just making up soccer teams wholesale right now, or... ?
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Mar 6, 2016 19:20
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Mar 6, 2016 19:33
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It's the first page and you tards have already brought up pro/rel
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Mar 6, 2016 19:39
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CaptainYesterday posted:
all of which are great points, it's by no means a guaranteed thing that promotion/relegation should happen or could even work here, but it'd be great if MLS would allow a serious discussion about it (and many other league changes/reforms) instead of garber just farting out of his mouth about the NFL every time it's mentioned.
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Mar 6, 2016 19:43
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i'm going to promote the idea of suicide so certain people can relegate themselves to hell vvvvvv rude Fucitol fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Mar 6, 2016 |
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Mar 6, 2016 19:45
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Fucitol posted:i'm going to promote the idea of suicide so certain people can relegate themselves to hell You should lead by example.
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Mar 6, 2016 19:46
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Welcome back, MLS.
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Mar 6, 2016 19:57
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Pinwiz11 posted:Welcome back, MLS. They didn't use oil on Villa and Pirlo
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Mar 6, 2016 20:01
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