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name one good thing that isn't
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Mar 9, 2016 19:52
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the lord's love
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Mar 9, 2016 19:58
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what, like traci lords? pretty sure that's a sin
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Mar 9, 2016 20:01
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roll tide mr. elephant
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Mar 9, 2016 20:02
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I never had any problems with mine but now this chart is making me rethink things.
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Mar 9, 2016 20:10
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ban OP for posting img-dickline
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Mar 9, 2016 20:28
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Nobody gives a poo poo about length if you're sporting a pencil dick, OP. Now show us the girth chart.
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Mar 9, 2016 20:44
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Mar 9, 2016 20:49
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Mar 9, 2016 21:27
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Magic Rabbit Hat posted:Nobody gives a poo poo about length if you're sporting a pencil dick, OP. Now show us the girth chart. Please, don't kink shame size queens!
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Mar 9, 2016 21:54
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FrankieGoes posted:I have a masters in biology and have devoted the last 20 years of my life to measuring animal dick. A useful and rewarding career, in my opinion. They'll name a wing of a biology building for you.
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Mar 9, 2016 21:54
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I've sucked dicks from the albatross to the zebra and one thing I can tell you is it's not about the size; It's about all the tonsil twisting, colon cleansing shapes that abound in nature. Have you ever blown an ocelot? The ocelot has a penis three feet in length, but compacted into a corkscrew only about six inches stem to stern. One must start at the tip and torque their body in a clockwise (NEVER ANTI-CLOCKWISE) motion, spooling up the member until the entirety of the penis is down one's throat. Once in Calcutta I saw a lad attempt to simply gobble the corkscrew as it was. The ocelot took to fright, engorging itself so the man became attached to it by the throat, and began running around the street in quite a tear. By the time I'd shot the beast with my pistol the lad was quite dead, not from asphyxiation as the corkscrew left ample room down the center for air, but rather from the snapping of his neck as he was drawn around behind the ocelot like a little girl dragging a whorish doll by the throat.
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Mar 9, 2016 23:19
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I would have found this chart more useful if it linked to videos of these animals having sex. Set to yakkity sax
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Mar 10, 2016 00:21
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I googled blue whale penis and you can get one mounted on a board like a head.
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Mar 10, 2016 00:28
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Noun Verber posted:I've sucked dicks from the albatross to the zebra and one thing I can tell you is it's not about the size; It's about all the tonsil twisting, colon cleansing shapes that abound in nature. Have you ever blown an ocelot? The ocelot has a penis three feet in length, but compacted into a corkscrew only about six inches stem to stern. One must start at the tip and torque their body in a clockwise (NEVER ANTI-CLOCKWISE) motion, spooling up the member until the entirety of the penis is down one's throat. What if the ocelot has situs invertus, mr smart guy?
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Mar 10, 2016 00:32
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Simstim posted:I googled blue whale penis and you can get one mounted on a board like a head. well that's next yr's mother's day present sorted
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Mar 10, 2016 00:33
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Simstim posted:I googled blue whale penis and you can get one mounted on a board like a head. Had you stepped on board the Pequod at a certain juncture of this post-mortemizing of the whale; and had you strolled forward nigh the windlass, pretty sure am I that you would have scanned with no small curiosity a very strange, enigmatical object, which you would have seen there, lying along lengthwise in the lee scuppers. Not the wondrous cistern in the whale’s huge head; not the prodigy of his unhinged lower jaw; not the miracle of his symmetrical tail; none of these would so surprise you, as half a glimpse of that unaccountable cone,- longer than a Kentuckian is tall, nigh a foot in diameter at the base, and jet-black as Yojo, the ebony idol of Queequeg. And an idol, indeed, it is; or rather, in old times, its likeness was. Such an idol as that found in the secret groves of Queen Maachah in Judea; and for worshipping which, King Asa, her son, did depose her, and destroyed the idol, and burnt it for an abomination at the brook Kedron, as darkly set forth in the 15th chapter of the First Book of Kings. Look at the sailor, called the mincer, who now comes along, and assisted by two allies, heavily backs the grandissimus, as the mariners call it, and with bowed shoulders, staggers off with it as if he were a grenadier carrying a dead comrade from the field. Extending it upon the forecastle deck, he now proceeds cylindrically to remove its dark pelt, as an African hunter the pelt of a boa. This done he turns the pelt inside out, like a pantaloon leg; gives it a good stretching, so as almost to double its diameter; and at last hangs it, well spread, in the rigging, to dry. Ere long, it is taken down; when removing some three feet of it, towards the pointed extremity, and then cutting two slits for arm-holes at the other end, he lengthwise slips himself bodily into it. The mincer now stands before you invested in the full canonicals of his calling. Immemorial to all his order, this investiture alone will adequately protect him, while employed in the peculiar functions of his office.
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Mar 10, 2016 00:50
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SirEvelynTremble posted:
No it's because a male gorilla who's in charge is the only one who gets to mate, simply because he kicks out all other males who are sexually mature. There's very little sexual competition among gorillas, so there has been no need to evolve more efficient penises/balls. For efficient penises/balls, look no further than to the chimpanzees: here the males has very big balls, simply because the females in estrous are likely to mate with many different males. To increase their chances of being the father, the males are locked in an evolutionary weapons race to produce the most sperm: the more you jizz, the better chances you have of being a daddy.
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Mar 10, 2016 00:55
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thats not even a goddamn chart. it is a list. also, considering the topic it is almost certainly clickbait meaning the op was dumb enough to use one of those links.
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Mar 10, 2016 04:30
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I think it could use a log scale. If you know what I mean. As in a nonlinear scale. (Also I thought there was BB code for subscript  )
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Mar 10, 2016 04:37
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Serious Frolicking posted:thats not even a goddamn chart. it is a list. also, considering the topic it is almost certainly clickbait meaning the op was dumb enough to use one of those links. Actually no it was all inspired by this thread https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3767439 which should be goldmined imo So I GIS'd "giraffe penis" and found this, which I thought was funny enough to post here So suck on that fattyboomboom
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Mar 10, 2016 04:40
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FrankieGoes posted:I have a masters in biology and have devoted the last 20 years of my life to measuring animal dick. A useful and rewarding career, in my opinion.
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Mar 10, 2016 05:03
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Also, my dick is actually an ancient legend: it's talked about, but it's never been seen.
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Mar 10, 2016 05:05
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