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SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
Bluetooth Suppositories And Other Teledildonics You Didn’t Know You Needed

quote:

Let us talk frankly about technology and sex1, which are, as the old ad has it, two great tastes that taste great together. Let’s talk about vibrators, and teledildonics, and orgasms, and KinkBNB, and VR porn, and “Uber for escorts.” And let’s talk again about our collective inability to think about, talk about, and invest in sex in an even halfway enlightened way.

We live in the midst of a sex-tech Cambrian explosion, so much so that of late it has attracted stupid patents and patent trolls. You can download quantified-self sex apps like Spreadsheets, or games like HappyPlayTime which aim to “eliminate the stigma around female masturbation.” You can buy smart vibrators like the SmartBod, which tracks your sex data and adjusts to your reactions. Or vibrators for couples like the long- (or short-) distance Vibease (which we’ve covered before.)

Or the Eva from Dame Products, who blew the doors off Indiegogo last year. I felt unqualified to review the Eva myself, so I had a pro-domme friend known as “Madame V” (yes, I live in San Francisco, how ever did you guess?) review it for me/TC. (She also suggested this post’s headline.) She writes:

Eva is a labor of love spawned from a founding team composed of one sex therapist and one mechanical engineer. She promises to be the hands-free, strap-free sex toy for couples to enjoy together. After all, 70 percent of people with vaginas can’t orgasm from intercourse alone, but are generally able to orgasm via masturbation.

If Eva’s goal is to be non-threatening and therefore bring more pleasure to a larger vagina audience, it is achieving it swimmingly. After rigorous testing, its best use cases are 1) softcore missionary and 2) reading smut. However, the heathens among us know that the most uh, “rugged” sex toys include more complicated padding, not less.
.

*a couple of links added in there






The VR porn looks especially interesting :gizz:




quote:

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SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


lmao is it a chat room in 3d vr space over on the right in that image, like on cam sites?

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

Celluloid Sam posted:

lmao is it a chat room in 3d vr space over on the right in that image, like on cam sites?

yes

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



holyfuck that is amazing it is the future

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Taffy was a Welshman,
Taffy was a thief.
Taffy's little grandson
Teleplunders beef.

Taffy's little grandson
Cymric superlooter,
Looks angelic riding
His teledriven scooter.

Taffy's little grandson
Never leaves the village,
Stays at home in comfort
Committing telepillage

Taffy's little grandson,
Practicing psionics
Quite surpasses Grandpa's
Obsolete kleptonics

-Windsor & Parry

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
Eve, mentioned in the OP looks like this ....




serious question : can the gays use this

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


thats the robot lady from wall-e drat poor thing

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

Celluloid Sam posted:

thats the robot lady from wall-e drat poor thing

no, that robot is from the future

that's her great-great-grandma that your jamming in your various holes

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

SirEvelynTremble posted:

Eve, mentioned in the OP looks like this ....




serious question : can the gays use this

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



thats headphones and a squid

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
i know it looks like an alien but that's bc it was designed by aliens, the galaxy's natural anal probe system!!

semon demon
Jul 31, 2006

im hornie for digital fucktime

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

Celluloid Sam posted:

thats headphones and a squid

AND you put it in you're butt

Captain Splashback
Jan 1, 2007

BY APPOINTMENT TO HER MAJESTY
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
SPLASHBACK HOLDINGS LTD
PUCKINS AND PRINTERS PURVEYORS
I wonder how this witchcraft will affect my local brothel?

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


Lucky Guy posted:

AND you put it in you're butt

so its headpgones and a squid@!

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

Lucky Guy posted:

AND you put it in you're butt

Actually a live squid up the butt would probably be the best gay toy ever!

extralevel
Mar 10, 2016

by Lowtax

Applewhite posted:

Taffy was a Welshman,
Taffy was a thief.
Taffy's little grandson
Teleplunders beef.

Taffy's little grandson
Cymric superlooter,
Looks angelic riding
His teledriven scooter.

Taffy's little grandson
Never leaves the village,
Stays at home in comfort
Committing telepillage

Taffy's little grandson,
Practicing psionics
Quite surpasses Grandpa's
Obsolete kleptonics

-Windsor & Parry

extralevel
Mar 10, 2016

by Lowtax
r we done now can i get paid :-)

LadyAmbien
Oct 22, 2015
Going to see how many times I can fit the word 'teledildonics' into a days worth of conversations with strangers.

extralevel
Mar 10, 2016

by Lowtax
psyonics

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

LadyAmbien posted:

Going to see how many times I can fit the word 'teledildonics' into a days worth of conversations with strangers.

I'll sponsor you

jimmyjams
Jan 10, 2001


King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong
level 5 teledildonicist

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
we'll hold a teledildonathon

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

:stare: Give me it

Devian666
Aug 20, 2008

Take some advice Chris.

Fun Shoe

There's the episode of Lexx where a guy has a similar outfit so he can gently caress the robot head.

bossy lady
Jul 9, 1983


butts by dre

Fuck da Mods
Jun 27, 2013

fina get poz'd? :cabot: :gizz: :baby:

bossy lady posted:

butts by dre

5'd

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

SirEvelynTremble posted:

Eve, mentioned in the OP looks like this ....




serious question : can the gays use this

I don't understand how that's supposed to work. Do you just Krang it and it starts flapping it's wings?

It would feel like there was a beetle trying to get out of your butt.

Corn Glizzy
Jun 28, 2007



I am very excited for VR porn I will die alone

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

The Rage posted:

I am very excited for VR porn I will die alone

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord
GOD drat IT gently caress YOU FRANCO

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
i want a robocop up my butt

Joust
Dec 7, 2007

No Ledges.

I look forward to the infomercials for the next generation of these.

"Tired of THIS!?" *Man tries to slip into his VR sex suit and falls backwards over a coffee table in the shape of a vagina*

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

Joust posted:

I look forward to the infomercials for the next generation of these.

"Tired of THIS!?" *Man tries to slip into his VR sex suit and falls backwards over a coffee table in the shape of a vagina*

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
Soon Ma Bell will be running the teledildonic empire and we will all be raped remotely by end stage capitalism

Scrotum Modem
Sep 12, 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBRSR_LGlOE

be sure to check out 7:35 where an asian kid plows 50 cent's anus

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot

Pastor Perineum posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBRSR_LGlOE

be sure to check out 7:35 where an asian kid plows 50 cent's anus

lmfao.

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009

:stonk: I...thought this was an earpiece.

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009

bossy lady posted:

butts by dre

:vince:

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SPACE HOMOS
Jan 12, 2005


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