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Lion nearly killed prophet after botched miraclequote:Prophet Alec Ndiwane who is based in the Pretoria Soshanguve was with fellow church members in the Kruger National Park where they were watching animals. The story was in the Daily Mail but that was (as usual) poo poo because it just used stock photos of lions Here's the pic  and here's what I think really went on, from a theological perspective 
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Mar 11, 2016 14:11
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 02:34 |
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Mar 11, 2016 14:15
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His problem was not putting his full faith into God. By turning around he showed that he didn't truly trust Him and thus was swiftly punished for the disobedience. The guy is lucky our Lord and Savior is merciful and didn't enact the retribution He was rightly entitled.
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Mar 11, 2016 14:18
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paw guy haha welp see ya
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Mar 11, 2016 14:30
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If you don't think a lion would eat your butt check then you have another thing coming, mister.
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Mar 11, 2016 14:32
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is that lion eating the other lions tail
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Mar 11, 2016 14:32
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I wish I was a big cat
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Mar 11, 2016 14:33
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maybe the G-man just doesn't like morons? ?
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Mar 11, 2016 14:33
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He should have commited to the bit instead of doing it half-arsed.
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Mar 11, 2016 14:35
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He is a false prophet for sure. The real lesson taught by Jesus to Christians is not to fear those who can kill your body. Be afraid of the One that can destroy both body and soul in hell. The true believers went into the Colosseum and were mauled by lions and wouldn't even flinch nor yell out. If this guy has any kind of following, he doesn't now.
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Mar 11, 2016 14:37
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Stupid poo poo Jesus lovers actually believe.
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Mar 11, 2016 14:38
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you guys ever been somewhere where a person began speaking in tongues? When I was but a wee lad, I went to church with my first girlfriend and 5 minutes into the preaching like 20% of the congregation was speaking in tongues. I was terrified and thought I was going to be sacrificed to a pagan god that day.
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Mar 11, 2016 14:39
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J.R.'Bob'Dobbs posted:I don't practise what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to
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Mar 11, 2016 14:40
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I went to school with a girl named Karri who went to one of those churches where you dance around with snakes, and sometimes in ceramics class she would start talking in tongues and flopping around.
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Mar 11, 2016 14:40
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I went to sunday school with religious friend once when I was 6. We got donuts and heard the tale of jesus but no-one tried to start poo poo with lions so I never went back.
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Mar 11, 2016 14:40
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i guess you could say he got paw-flecked hahaahahahaha
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Mar 11, 2016 14:42
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Joust posted:I went to sunday school with religious friend once when I was 6. We got donuts and heard the tale of jesus but no-one tried to start poo poo with lions so I never went back. You only get to deal with lions and snakes after your baptism. Then if you die at least you'll go to heaven
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Mar 11, 2016 14:42
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Lion > Zion Who would've thought?
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Mar 11, 2016 14:45
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criscodisco posted:I went to school with a girl named Karri who went to one of those churches where you dance around with snakes, and sometimes in ceramics class she would start talking in tongues and flopping around. Intentionally having a spastic fit and babbling in mildly accented moon language syllables is good for you, like primal scream therapy. I would not recommend doing either next to poisonous snakes as it will traumatize the snake and it may view you as a threat and bite you and you will have to go to hospital which as we all know is the leading cause of MRSA String Beans posted:Lion > Zion um if you READ THE ARTICLE it states a park ranger with a gun scared it off so its iron > lion > zion
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Mar 11, 2016 14:45
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A Stupid Baby posted:
What is an iron park ranger? Did he win a contest?
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Mar 11, 2016 14:48
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And if I had been in the middle of my fresh impala lynch I'd be fuming. I'D kick his rear end but lions don't kick so Anyway if the lion had wanted to kill him he'd be dead, it probably tasted ebola butt and thought "naah"
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Mar 11, 2016 14:52
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criscodisco posted:What is an iron park ranger? Did he win a contest? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGmUsJvRv7U it were this guy
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Mar 11, 2016 14:54
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"He should have saved his trance for the petting zoo." - What his prophetschool bully is saying right now.
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Mar 11, 2016 14:54
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I dunno about that goats are pretty chill but they will gently caress YOU UP if you take too long getting the food out of the food dispenser machine
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Mar 11, 2016 14:58
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A Stupid Baby posted:um if you READ THE ARTICLE it states a park ranger with a gun scared it off so its I guess guns win again. Go Guns
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Mar 11, 2016 15:03
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Ehud posted:you guys ever been somewhere where a person began speaking in tongues? yes i went to a big tent revival once as a teenager when i lived with 3 born again chirstian brothers and people were talking in tounges and rolling in the aisles and falling over when the man touched them on the head. it was weird and stupid also i had a pony ttail and the guy from behind thought i was a girl. i was probably wearing a cradle of filth shirt att (at the time)
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Mar 11, 2016 15:05
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"My Left Bum" starring Daniel Day-Lewis.
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Mar 11, 2016 15:11
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lonesomedwarf posted:yes i went to a big tent revival once as a teenager when i lived with 3 born again chirstian brothers and people were talking in tounges and rolling in the aisles and falling over when the man touched them on the head. it was weird and stupid Yes if the prophet had been wearing a Jesus Is A oval office tshirt it might have bamboozled the lions Rambling Robot posted:"My Left Bum" starring Daniel Day-Lewis.
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Mar 11, 2016 15:14
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I wanna be a prophet too!
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Mar 11, 2016 15:15
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A Stupid Baby posted:iron > lion > zion
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Mar 11, 2016 15:18
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Thought this was gonna be about Snoop Lion, but turns out you are not supposed to call him that anymore
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Mar 11, 2016 15:48
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Rambling Robot posted:I wanna be a prophet too! Better be a dentist. They've got much better track record vs lions
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Mar 11, 2016 15:50
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hahaha
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Mar 11, 2016 15:57
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Colonel Cancer posted:Thought this was gonna be about Snoop Lion, but turns out you are not supposed to call him that anymore You can call him whatever you want, friend. This is America and we have freedom of speech.
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Mar 11, 2016 15:59
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don't mess with lions, Zions they will gently caress your toilet sitting tool up
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Mar 11, 2016 16:26
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For it was God's will that he wants me to be making GBS threads into a bag for the rest of my life. ALLEJUSHEDASHA
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Mar 11, 2016 16:46
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Colonel Cancer posted:Thought this was gonna be about Snoop Lion, but turns out you are not supposed to call him that anymore he is now Snoop Hermit Crabb
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Mar 11, 2016 16:57
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looks like his bum rush didn't pay off
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Mar 11, 2016 17:01
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It's entirely possible you just can't perform magic on animals.
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Mar 11, 2016 17:11
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 02:34 |
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The man was fearing he would lose his bum but the doctor’s assured him he would still have his left bum intact.
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Mar 11, 2016 17:22
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