|
http://www.somethingawful.com/news/gross-nails/ A couple years back I was regularly playing Magic at a local comic book store in my area. There's a lot of gross nails at your average comic book store, and even more gross nails in your average group of magic the gathering players, so the overlap eventually results in full gross nail saturation and you just stop noticing it in most cases. One person in particular, however, was impossible to miss. I don't know what the dude's name was and I didn't want to know. I would have asked but I didn't want him to open his mouth, he had halitosis so bad I could actually smell it across the room. He lived with his mom. He was either in his early 40s or later 30s, or he may have been in his 20s with a serious drug habit, which I won't rule out thanks to the two inch long yellowing coke nail he had on each hand. Those weren't the only gross nails, though! Both hands! Five chipped, inch+ long nails on each hand, yellowing and completely filthy underneath. I don't just mean like little chips, either, full cracks that were practically splitting the nail. I don't know what this dude's opposition to clippers was, I can't imagine those fingers were comfortable. He stank to high heaven, too, not just his nasty "I eat poo poo professionally" breath, the dude smelled like cat sex in a litterbox. The scent of ammonia coming off of him was so bad I had a headache by the time we finished our set of games. I've never been so glad to lose in my life. I was relieved just to get away from the loving table. There was a lot going on about this guy, and the smell was overpowering, but his nails really just stood out as the worst thing about him. Smelly dudes are a dime a dozen, you don't walk into a comic book store on a friday night and expect to have a good time, olfcatorily speaking. But those nails!  They were as mesmerizing as they were vile. By some miracle, or perhaps a startling amount of self awareness for The Gooniest Motherfucker, he didn't offer to shake my hand at any point, and thank god for that, because I don't know if I would have been able to keep myself from vomiting. They were so repulsive that they are burned into my brain forever. I will never be able to forget those nails.itt: gross nail stories. Trim your loving nails, goons!
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2016 17:20
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 11:09 |
|
|
Do toe nails count? I keep myself well groomed but I've seen some bad toe nails in my life.
|
|
#
?
Mar 17, 2016 23:04
|
|
|
That is a gross story. In my head, his disgusting rear end hygiene was just a means to distract the other Magic players. He didn't have the skill to beat others, he didn't have the funds to build a great deck. All he had was his body, and he was willing to ruin it for a victory. It'd taken years of focused neglect to get that repulsive. His body was so disgusting that he couldn't stand to be around himself, but he knew that it was worth it for the win. The thing about toenails is that they're privately gross. You can hide them as a little shameful secrets. There was a guy I worked with who decided to wear sandals one day, and his gnarly, yellow toenails were the center of everyone's attention. People had known him for years, but all of a sudden they looked at him as if he were revealing his true identity or something, like he had secretly been a monster all along. Talking about his toenails pretty much became a bonding moment. So yeah, toenails aren't always present, but they're always gross. There is also the fact that a lot of people are already grossed out by toes. I like that long nails are a sign of poor hygiene and really short nails are supposed to be a sign of poor character. Like there is an imposed happy medium of nail care that we internalize. Ultimately, if anyone notices your nails, your nails are jacked up.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2016 18:57
|
|
|
Salmon Season posted:
I have at any given time at least two black finger nails from dropping/hitting heavy things on them. I have a job that involves lots of handwork. Most of my co-workers just judge me as being terrible/clumsy at my job. They're right.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2016 01:52
|
|
|
I thought you were talking about this teenage guy who plays at Xtreme Games in Chicago. They need a sign on their door that says you need to have showered that day, wear deodorant, trim your nails and in fringe cases, shave, or you're not welcome until you have fixed yourself.
|
|
#
?
Jul 14, 2016 16:35
|
|
|
Mirthless posted:http://www.somethingawful.com/news/gross-nails/ Sounds like he's not playing with a full deck (huehuehe) As for my own stories, I have a cousin who never cleans his nails and relies on farmwork to cut his nails for him. Sometimes he gets a bit lazy, doesn't do a lot of work for a while, and ends up with loving gnarly rear end claws. You can see dirt, crumbs, animal poo poo and probably other fluids under his nails pretty regularly and it's equally distributed throughout his nails regardless of their length. I swear to god those nails are just petri dishes and'll probably be the genesis of some new super-bacteria that wipes out his backwater community.
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2016 19:35
|
|
|
for the woeful savages crying themselves to sleep every night over the state of their fingernails: pay for a manicure and the manicurist will teach you if you ask. get one that speaks okay english and tip her well. ask your lady friends. poo poo nails are bad for interviews, bad for talking to people, bad for life on earth. you don't have to paint them but christ stop biting your loving cuticles.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2016 05:58
|
|
|
My nails are short!
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2016 11:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 11:09 |
|
|
i bite my nails
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2016 15:32
|
|
