My Dr wants to stretch out my throat?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > My Dr wants to stretch out my throat?

Dave_Indeed: Feb 22, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

I have an esophageal stricture and my Dr wants to send me to a guy to get it stretched out. Oh boy!

Apparently time and acid reflux I have scarred the lining of my esophagus, resulting in a smaller tube for me to cram hotwings and burgs into my gullet with. Consequently this means nothing other than I have difficulty swallowing occasionally and it's mildly irritating. But, because I am an alpha I generally just go gag myself to clear out my throat and feel better.

Anyhow, this Dr's like, "We need to stick a balloon in that bitch and inflate it to stretch it out." He also explains that this is not super uncommon and they do it all the time.

Has anyone had their throat stretched out? Did you enjoy having your throat stretched out?

# ? Mar 18, 2016 17:57

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:58

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

get facefucked OP

# ? Mar 18, 2016 17:58

lol if you: Jun 29, 2004; I am going to remove your penis, in thin slices, like salami, just for starters.

just suck his dick and get it over with

# ? Mar 18, 2016 17:58

Lord Frankenstyle: Dec 3, 2005; Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

Him and me both.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 17:58

Tenacious J: Nov 20, 2002

I dunno maybe ask your dad if he likes it OP

# ? Mar 18, 2016 17:59

Commie NedFlanders: Mar 8, 2014

the am radio says obama wants to shove his radical agenda down your throat

# ? Mar 18, 2016 17:59

Dave_Indeed: Feb 22, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Chinatown posted:

get facefucked OP

I'm trying to do it literally right now. God. Go get your MBA and point out the obvious professionally.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:00

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

Commie NedFlanders posted:

the am radio says obama wants to shove his radical agenda down your throat

maybe then you'll never speak again

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:04

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

My cock is certainly too big. Sorry can't help

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:06

Thirsty Girl: Dec 5, 2015

whats her name

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:07

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Ask youre mother op. :smug:

ClamdestineBoyster fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Mar 18, 2016

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:08

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

This thread has everything I expected and more.
:five:

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:11

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

gently caress come to S A I'll do the procedure for drat near free. Just buy me dinner first.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:11

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

my dr wanted to do the same except with my rear end in a top hat

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:15

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

OP your predicament sounds somewhat homosexual in nature. I find that amusing.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:15

Dave_Indeed: Feb 22, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Nathilus posted:

gently caress come to S A I'll do the procedure for drat near free. Just buy me dinner first.

Well I don't know much about gay guys but that sounds like a raw deal pal. Buy YOU dinner and then have to suck your dick?

Can a gay guy please confirm if this is a bad and stupid deal?

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:17

scott zoloft: Dec 7, 2015; yeah same

Nathilus posted:

gently caress come to S A I'll do the procedure for drat near free. Just buy me dinner first.

gently caress free. i'll pay YOU. let ol' scott give your throat a stretch.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:18

FlimFlam Imam: Mar 1, 2007; Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

Could be worse.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:18

Lord Frankenstyle: Dec 3, 2005; Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

Mad Monk posted:

Could be worse.

Was that one the leader?

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:19

Windows 98: Nov 13, 2005; HTTP 400: Bad post

Stretched my girls throat out last night. I'm available for $5/hr

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:19

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

Mad Monk posted:

Could be worse.

~~that's actually pretty nice of them to interview the manatees~~

e: god dammit Frankenstyle

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:20

Lord Frankenstyle: Dec 3, 2005; Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

Dave_Indeed posted:

Well I don't know much about gay guys but that sounds like a raw deal pal. Buy YOU dinner and then have to suck your dick?

Can a gay guy please confirm if this is a bad and stupid deal?

Naw. It's just like how bands that get inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame have to actually pay for the "honor".

You're probably not gonna get a better deal that isn't a scam.

*Full disclosure: I'm not a "Gay guy" at all, but I have had sex with a few dozen of them.

Lord Frankenstyle fucked around with this message at 18:24 on Mar 18, 2016

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:21

FlimFlam Imam: Mar 1, 2007; Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

Frankenstyle posted:

Was that one the leader?

Which one? Looks to be about 3 of them in that picture.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:22

Incredulous Dylan: Oct 22, 2004; Fun Shoe

Yeah, I've got the same thing but haven't gotten the balloon deal done yet. If you haven't gotten that re-flux under control you should. That poo poo starts changing the cells in your esophagus over to stomach cells where the acid hits often and increases cancer risks. Good luck!

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:24

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Dave_Indeed posted:

Well I don't know much about gay guys but that sounds like a raw deal pal. Buy YOU dinner and then have to suck your dick?

Can a gay guy please confirm if this is a bad and stupid deal?

The dinner is just a formality. And I mean formality in the most direct sense. It's to show that we are both taking the procedure seriously and are not just being slutty. Hell, if you really care I'll go halfsies.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:25

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Double pen..

Err post. Double post.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:25

xov: Nov 14, 2005; DNA Ts. Rednum or F. Raf

Probably would be a good idea to suck it up and have this poo poo done.
Bolus obstruction, while having a funny name, is a rather terrifying thing to have happen.

Imagine taking a few bites of a nice peanut butter sandwich and they just get fuckin stuck down there. Nothing coming up, nothing going down. :gonk:

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:27

Thirsty Girl: Dec 5, 2015

Windows 98 posted:

I'm available for $5/hr

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:27

Lord Frankenstyle: Dec 3, 2005; Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

xov posted:

Probably would be a good idea to suck it up and have this poo poo done.

Duh. That's what I said in like the fourth post.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:31

Dave_Indeed: Feb 22, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

im gaye posted:

Windows 98 is one of those drug addicts that approach you at the airport gas station all, "Hey, my cars out of gas and I don't have any money can you throw me some change?" and we're like the traveling businessman that's all like, "What's in it for me?" gesturing to your tinted windows.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:31

bag em and tag em: Nov 4, 2008

There was exactly one way this thread could go.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:31

Dave_Indeed: Feb 22, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Frankenstyle posted:

Duh. That's what I said in like the fourth post.

I'm doing it.

I want my loving throat stretched out. Little whore slut bitch throat is going to get ballooned whenever the Dr can do it.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:34

Dave_Indeed: Feb 22, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

xov posted:

Probably would be a good idea to suck it up and have this poo poo done.
Bolus obstruction, while having a funny name, is a rather terrifying thing to have happen.

Imagine taking a few bites of a nice peanut butter sandwich and they just get fuckin stuck down there. Nothing coming up, nothing going down.

Food gets stuck now for 15-30 minutes sometimes and it blows pretty hard. Basically the same sensation when you take a big bite of food and it goes down really slow until you drink some water, except water only makes this worse. I can gag myself and get a lot of it out though so it's kewl.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:39

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Dave_Indeed posted:

Food gets stuck now for 15-30 minutes sometimes and it blows pretty hard. Basically the same sensation when you take a big bite of food and it goes down really slow until you drink some water, except water only makes this worse. I can gag myself and get a lot of it out though so it's kewl.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/eosinophilic-esophagitis/basics/definition/con-20035681

Get tested.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 18:41

imandyyo: Mar 19, 2012

My stepfather just got told do do this. Guess he couldn't swallow all night and the doctors even tried some sort of human draino to clear it before finally snaking it.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 20:25