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This is the worst loving game series. The Stalin Subway is a bad videogame by Buka Games and Orion games released on 2005.. It follows the adventures of Gleb (that is his name, no joke) and his quest to stop... some sort of ill defined conspiracy started by a guy I had to look up on wikipedia to know who he is. Unlike Daikatana, this game has no real awful game pedigree, but I can assure you, The Stalin Subway and its sequel The Stalin Subway: The Red Veil have some of the worst level design of any awful shooter ever made. And I played the whole thing. And the sequel. THE LP: Will be videos of ~25 minutes in 720/60. Updates will be once a week. I will be joined by those other fuckheads, DoctorStrangelove and Handuar. Spoiler rules are as follows: Don't spoil the end of the first game, don't spoil the main character of Red Veil. Everything else is fair game. THE EPISODES EPISODE 1 EPISODE 2 EPISODE 3 EPISODE 4 EPISODE 4 EPISODE 5 EPISODE 6 THE EMAIL: Feel free to email me anything about the LP at dad@buttchugs.vodka Also, I still have a copy of daikatana to give out. Thus, you should DA PANET EARF fucked around with this message at 00:47 on May 23, 2016 |
# ? Mar 20, 2016 05:43 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 16:14 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHJFhBEYFjI POST RESERVED FOR BIOS AND WEAPONS poo poo
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 05:46 |
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Anime is poo poo and so is this game.
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 05:52 |
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This game is worse than my commentary.
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 05:52 |
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Also the main character of the second game is Stalin himself. Suck it Down™
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 05:52 |
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russia is surprisingly foggy, flat, and desolate
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 07:06 |
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What the gently caress even is this game
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 07:42 |
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By the way, that first episode we tricked handuar into thinking that we were recording a Daikatana LP episode.
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 07:44 |
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DA PANET EARF posted:By the way, that first episode we tricked handuar into thinking that we were recording a Daikatana LP episode. Perfect.
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 08:41 |
DoctorStrangelove posted:Also the main character of the second game is Stalin himself. Suck it Down™
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 10:00 |
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Stain Subway: eat fresh comrade
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 14:44 |
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You may think you're offended by this game's shittiness, but I know Russian history and speak Russian, so I'm offended by this piece of poo poo on at least two more levels "What a crap" is most likely a garbage attempt at a literal translation of the Russian for "What the gently caress"
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 15:55 |
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Soundtrack: :sirensforeverthere'salwaysanalarmgoingoff:
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 17:16 |
I'm honestly offended by anything that's trying to portray Stalin in a positive light, given Russia's tendencies to whitewash the bastard.
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 17:59 |
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anilEhilated posted:I'm honestly offended by anything that's trying to portray Stalin in a positive light, given Russia's tendencies to whitewash the bastard. Agreed. https://meduza.io/en/feature/2016/03/04/stalin-or-bust
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 18:02 |
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I think Stalin is supposed to be the bad-guy but the plot is so difficult to follow I honestly have no idea. All I know is that Gleb is trying to save his dad from someone because dad got arrested for doing something.
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 18:03 |
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By the way, Gleb is an actual name
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 18:34 |
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DoctorStrangelove posted:I think Stalin is supposed to be the bad-guy but the plot is so difficult to follow I honestly have no idea. All I know is that Gleb is trying to save his dad from someone because dad got arrested for doing something. I am pretty sure that Stalin is supposed to be a good guy, becuase everything you end up doing after you save your dad is to save Stalin. Also, if you hate russians trying to whitewash Stalin into a good guy OH BOY are you going to hate this game, because in all the cutscenes Stalin is portrayed like he's your lovable dad.
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 20:43 |
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DA PANET EARF posted:I am pretty sure that Stalin is supposed to be a good guy, becuase everything you end up doing after you save your dad is to save Stalin. Also, if you hate russians trying to whitewash Stalin into a good guy OH BOY are you going to hate this game, because in all the cutscenes Stalin is portrayed like he's your lovable dad. Question: Would it be accurate to say that "Stalin's Subway" isn't a literal subway in the same way that "the Underground Railroad" was not a literal railroad? Sub question: What the gently caress did I just say and what are we talking about? What do you mean you save Stalin? Are you saying that Stalin is the Princess Peach of this lovely fps?
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 20:51 |
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THANK YOU GLEB! BUT OUR SECRETARY GENERAL IS IN ANOTHER SEWER LEVEL!
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 20:59 |
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DoctorStrangelove posted:THANK YOU GLEB! Это я, блядь, Глеб!
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 21:09 |
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This game looks awesome. For me to poop on.
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# ? Mar 20, 2016 21:09 |
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e: Ah, crap, saw that the OP asked us not to spoil the MC of the second game. Never mind.
Quicksilver6 fucked around with this message at 21:17 on Mar 20, 2016 |
# ? Mar 20, 2016 21:12 |
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Jesus Christ, you finally started this LP, you've only been talking about it for something like a year now. Edit: Time to spelling errors is two minutes Lazyfire fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Mar 21, 2016 |
# ? Mar 21, 2016 01:58 |
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So I actually decided to watch the video (which was originally recorded in mid November) and Gleb and Gleb's dad keep jokingly referring to the KGB as "Chekists." Here is the wikipedia article on chekism since if I don't understand an obscure piece of trivia from Russian history then I don't expect really anyone else to understand it either - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chekism Also this is the PPSH chair that Handjob was referring to: DoctorStrangelove fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Mar 21, 2016 |
# ? Mar 21, 2016 02:12 |
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Speaking of chekism, there's actually another different layer of hilarity to it. Thing is, this would (had this game sold, I never heard of it until this thread so I assume that it didn't sell) have gone completely over everyone's head in Russia, because whatever their target demographic was, it definitely did not include adults who lived a substantial part of their lives in the USSR. Consequently, no one would understand it. When I saw it, my first thought was "Wait, what? ЧК was not a thing in Stalin's time", and no one ever uses it in any other context in the post-Soviet Russia They can't even get the Russian history references for Russians right
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# ? Mar 21, 2016 02:25 |
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I would like to give a special shoutout to Fedule and DoctorStrangelove for improving the LP with this amazing thread tag. I do miss kenshiro, but this is better.
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# ? Mar 21, 2016 05:45 |
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I'm going to give a special shoutout to myself, Hornet, for teaching CQC how to make his blacks black.
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# ? Mar 21, 2016 05:46 |
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Not enough Handuar.
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# ? Mar 21, 2016 05:46 |
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DA PANET EARF posted:I would like to give a special shoutout to Fedule and DoctorStrangelove for improving the LP with this amazing thread tag. I do miss kenshiro, but this is better. ты уже мертв
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# ? Mar 21, 2016 05:46 |
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Zebrabutt posted:Not enough Handuar. Эй, милашка.
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# ? Mar 21, 2016 05:48 |
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can we get a MP server up? Because I need to get in on that poo poo if so
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# ? Mar 21, 2016 07:24 |
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HOTLANTA MAN posted:can we get a MP server up? Because I need to get in on that poo poo if so Nope.
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# ? Mar 21, 2016 15:38 |
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I haven't watched your videos but I have some hot tips for you that might make your play through more bearable. You can triple your glacial movement speed by timing strafe jumps. All the guns have secondary fire modes. The rifle zooms are based on how long you hold down the zoom button. Don't ask how I know so much about this abortion where you play someone trying to stop Stalin get murderer
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# ? Mar 21, 2016 15:51 |
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Phrosphor posted:I haven't watched your videos but I have some hot tips for you that might make your play through more bearable. CQC will figure this out eventually. By like video five or something.
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# ? Mar 21, 2016 22:41 |
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DoctorStrangelove posted:CQC will figure this out eventually. By like video five or something. Except for rifle zooms, which I will never figure out. I knew you could zoom them, but not that you could control the zoom level. Also for the record this lovely rear end game has a gun that I know exists but I literally never find. DA PANET EARF fucked around with this message at 02:35 on Mar 22, 2016 |
# ? Mar 22, 2016 02:28 |
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DA PANET EARF posted:
That's realism. Realistically, you could never hope to find one of each type of gun in use in the 1950's, let alone carry them all. The tiny subtitles are also realistic as size 8 font was the maximum font size until 1963. The reverse bullet drop may seem outlandish at first but if you look up while shooting you'll see a crane dangling a giant magnet over your head and just offscreen. The crane operator's motivations are a major plot point in the 3rd game, "The Brezhnev Bus Stop".
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# ? Mar 22, 2016 02:43 |
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It's here, and it is both better and worse than I could have ever hoped for. Wikipedia also claims that Gleb is derived from a Norse name meaning "heir of God" and there is a Saint Gleb venerated in Eastern Orthodoxy. No word on whether or not he is the patron saint of dual wielding Makarovs.
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# ? Mar 22, 2016 03:21 |
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Wouldn't Gleb be pronounced more like Hleb the former Arsenal player?
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# ? Mar 22, 2016 04:42 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 16:14 |
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What is the plot of this game? There's some guy meeting a gymnast in the world's fanciest subway then he's on the phone in prison. Then some soldier's execute three janitors in a slaughterhouse then you kill some dudes at a construction yard. It's like fever dream logic.
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# ? Mar 22, 2016 04:52 |