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slam flanders
Jan 13, 2015

The thread to discuss all the best techniques and tricks for taking a shower / getting clean.

:phoneline::phoneline::phoneline:
THIS IS NOT AN /r/showerthoughts REPOST THREAD
:phoneline::phoneline::phoneline:

Water temperatures - hot? Luke warm?? Cold??? Let the debate begun

Body wash vs bar soap (keep it civil)

Favorite music to listen to while showering? Why not do a little playlist swapping?

Curtains - are the necessary, or do we just need a lining?

Non-low-flow showerheads and where to get them

Shaving - pre-shower, post shower or mid-shower?

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Rolo
Nov 16, 2005

Hmm, what have we here?
Butthole last.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon
it rubs the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again

insufficient guns
May 4, 2009

personally, I would
like to fuck Wall-E

  :h: :roboluv: :h:
If it's raining heavily outside, just get naked and shower in your yard. Why waste money?

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

Temp slightly less than super hot. 1 curtain outside the tub and 1 on the inside. Body wash for hair body and face and also use it to shave which I do at the end of my shower.

Weezy Baby
May 20, 2007
with beer

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

shave is post-shower after the steam has cause your pores to open up hth

bawk
Mar 31, 2013

Phase 1: Water not too hot, shampoo hair, then put in conditioner, wash body with ivory soap + loofah, wash out conditioner

Phase 2: Water as hot as loving possible, sit down in tub like taking bath, water covers body from neck to shins to keep me warm.

Phase 1 takes 5 minutes, Phase 2 takes half an hour. Best shower tip: don't pay for your own hot water :smugmrgw:

Panic! at Nabisco
Jun 6, 2007

it seemed like a good idea at the time

NotAnArtist posted:

shave is post-shower after the steam has cause your pores to open up hth
Not emptyquoting

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


take a big old dump then force the poop into the drain by squishing it with your toes until it clogs the drain then the shower fills with lovely water and you get on your hands and knees in the lovely water and try to use your hands to force the poop down further into the drain and eventually the poop dissolves and goes down then you wash the poop off your body and no one is the wiser except you, who jacked off in the poop shower

tweet my meat
Oct 2, 2013

yospos
I like it as hot as I can stand it unless I'm shaving because I don't like drenching my clumsily shaven cut up face with near scalding water.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

im pooping! posted:

take a big old dump then force the poop into the drain by squishing it with your toes until it clogs the drain then the shower fills with lovely water and you get on your hands and knees in the lovely water and try to use your hands to force the poop down further into the drain and eventually the poop dissolves and goes down then you wash the poop off your body and no one is the wiser except you, who jacked off in the poop shower

Post/username combo

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
i take a hot bath before taking a shower

GoGoGadgetChris
Mar 18, 2010

i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog
Don't waste time actively washing your legs. Tend to the upper tiers of your body and it'll trickle down

Tetracube
Feb 12, 2014

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
multitask by pissing

ninotoreS
Aug 20, 2009

Thanks for the input, Jeff!
you can lose some weight, keep yourself slimmer by taking cold showers everyday

actually true

forces your body to burn more calories maintaining your core temperature

slam flanders
Jan 13, 2015

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

Don't waste time actively washing your legs. Tend to the upper tiers of your body and it'll trickle down
anyone implement this same 'reaganomic' method to cleansing the rear end hole too?

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.



Same

Internet Kraken
Apr 24, 2010

slightly amused

NotAnArtist posted:

shave is post-shower after the steam has cause your pores to open up hth

Curious, how does this actually help with shaving?

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
I find tossing myself into red hot lava is the best exfoliation on mother Gaia. HTH, Op.

Young Cato
Dec 22, 2006
holla ho holla
Thanks for asking.

First of all, here's a quick tip that may save you tens or hundreds of dollars per year on soap and body wash. Go to Target or Walmart or whatever and buy a big 64oz bottle of antibacterial soap. They're supposed to be for refilling dispensers with. The store brand one is like $3-$4. This is now your body wash, hand soap, whatever you need really. I probably go through four of these in a year, max. You could probably find an even cheaper alternative through some kind of janitorial supply wholesale site or something.

My showers go down like this: Turn on hot water, let it warm up, get in. Rinse body. Wet my wash cloth, pour some soap on it, scrub down my hands and arms. Rinse wash cloth, pour some soap on it, scrub my face. Rinse cloth, pour soap, scrub my pits. Next is torso, then dick/balls, then rear end crack, then legs, rinsing the wash cloth and reapplying soap each time obviously. Rinse and wring the wash cloth one last time, make sure soap is thoroughly rinsed off of my body, then done. I don't use shampoo, it's a scam.

Cheers everyone.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Internet Kraken posted:

Curious, how does this actually help with shaving?

I dunno about the whole pore thing tbh, it's just old shaving advice. the hot water does soften the hair however, making it easier to shave.

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE

Illegal Hen
Taking a cold shower cuts a toughness groove in your brain.

I learned that from a Navy SEAL before he got brain cancer, so YMMV.

I brought my Drake
Jul 10, 2014

These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.

The cabinet under my sink contains more hair care products than a boutique salon. Right now I'm using Avalon rosemary shampoo on my scalp, Alba on the other two feet of hair, and Oribe conditioner. Citrus body wash.

I'm pretty sure I could brush my teeth or shave in the shower if I didn't have to wash my hair.

My cats have started licking the shower curtain post-shower so once in a while I'll turn the water back on to freak them out.

slam flanders
Jan 13, 2015


:cheers:

this but under the rejuvinating streams pouring out of a brushed nickel danze 8" sunflower at 5 Gpm

TheMaskedUgly
Sep 21, 2008

Let's play a different game.

Rolo posted:

Butthole last.

Counterpoint: Butthole first

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
sorry OP I'm a grower

Mephiston
Mar 10, 2006

someone post kuuenbu's shower routine.

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013

Mephiston posted:

someone post GE Cafe's shower routine.

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY


I bought a high-powered nozzle and shove the hot load of water right up my butt until it comes out my mouth.

First it's just a bubbling of poo and blood but then it's pure, cleansing water.

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

Rolo posted:

Butthole last.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
I stand under the part where the water comes out.

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Young Cato posted:

Thanks for asking.

First of all, here's a quick tip that may save you tens or hundreds of dollars per year on soap and body wash. Go to Target or Walmart or whatever and buy a big 64oz bottle of antibacterial soap. They're supposed to be for refilling dispensers with. The store brand one is like $3-$4. This is now your body wash, hand soap, whatever you need really. I probably go through four of these in a year, max. You could probably find an even cheaper alternative through some kind of janitorial supply wholesale site or something.

PYF your poor bachelor shower techniques.

Your skin is probably drier than the inside of Hilary's vag.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
I get one of those huge bottles of Tresemme and use that for soap/shampoo

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
Gotta take my post workout shower here. Gonna use this thread as my guide and shove a whole bar of soap up my rear end.

Thanks goons!

Comptroll The Forums
Apr 25, 2007

DON'T HURT MY FEE FEES!
slowly turn in circles like u are a rotisserie chicken

curved shower curtain rod so the clammy curtain doesn't touch against your fat loving slugbody

just masturbate before you shower, masturbating in the shower takes forever and its hard to stay lubed

its okay to spit in the shower, but dont hock up a loving loogie

going pee pee or poo poo in the shower is heck gross

shampoo? [citation needed]

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

Wash first with shower, run hot bath, lay in water forever. Pruned fingers.

les enfants Terrific!
Dec 12, 2008
lay down in the tub and cry (shower will hide your tears)

JD
Jan 11, 2003
I make sure to rub it a bit before if I know anyone's gonna see it

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Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
Anytime my roommates hungover he lays down in the shower for literally an hour or more and it pisses me the f off!!

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