Weird Shit For Sale: It's My Pleasure to offer you My Services

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Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Sham bam bamina! posted:

# ? Apr 4, 2016 05:00

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 07:11

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Assuming this isn't just a dude writing weird roommate porno, I have so many questions. Like "how do you reach the point that you're being casually naked around your roommate but decide you have to post a Craigslist ad instead of talking to him?" And "why was this in Missed Connections? He's your roommate, dude, you know where he is."

# ? Apr 4, 2016 06:21

Schneider Inside Her: Aug 6, 2009; Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman

What a beautiful love story

# ? Apr 4, 2016 06:30

Centripetal Horse: Nov 22, 2009; Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul

Antivehicular posted:

Assuming this isn't just a dude writing weird roommate porno, I have so many questions. Like "how do you reach the point that you're being casually naked around your roommate but decide you have to post a Craigslist ad instead of talking to him?" And "why was this in Missed Connections? He's your roommate, dude, you know where he is."

It seems entirely plausible to me that a man who has always considered himself straight, and who suddenly finds himself feeling a powerful sexual attraction to another man, might have a hard time directly approaching the object of his passion.

It's also entirely plausible that the whole thing is bullshit.

# ? Apr 4, 2016 06:40

8th-snype: Aug 28, 2005; My office is in the front room of a run-down 12 megapixel sensor but the rent suits me and the landlord doesn't ask many questions.

Dorkroom Short Fiction Champion 2012; Young Orc

Scathach posted:

Thanks Cash Crab! Also hooray thread title

Hey guys help me hotwire and steal this car! Sounds like a great idea. (This entire state is balls-to-the-wall crazy.)

That walmart is a blasted hell hole, even by walmart standards. I had to go at midnight once on a nightshift because I needed a charging cord for my laptop, never again.

# ? Apr 4, 2016 09:16

My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

monolithburger posted:

Here we go once again with the e-mail, every time I hope it's not from a she male

# ? Apr 4, 2016 13:29

Disco Salmon: Jun 19, 2004

8th-snype posted:

That walmart is a blasted hell hole, even by walmart standards. I had to go at midnight once on a nightshift because I needed a charging cord for my laptop, never again.

Tell me about it!!

We live right across the freeway from it, and I swear it's horrible. I HATE Walmart with a passion, and this one most of all. There are no words to describe how walmart this walmart is

It could seriously rival a Florida one I bet for people of Walmart pics.

Lucky us.

# ? Apr 4, 2016 22:05

Gamma Nerd: May 14, 2012

Scathach posted:

Haa I wish I was a painter

There are Clinton fans in Seattle? :confused:

# ? Apr 5, 2016 00:06

MageMage: Feb 11, 2007; I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL

My Lovely Horse posted:

Here we go once again with the e-mail, every time I hope it's not from a she male

What are you talking about?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 00:21

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

MageMage posted:

What are you talking about?

Did you read the ad?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 01:00

CuteStorm: Sep 22, 2010

Yay! Glad to see this thread again. Have some bad taxidermy!

This is a fine piece, but just a weird picture.

The longer I try to figure out just what is so wrong about these lions, the less sure I am they are lions at all:

# ? Apr 5, 2016 03:05

Crow Jane: Oct 18, 2012; nothin' wrong with a lady drinkin' alone in her room

Hmm.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 03:17

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Gamma Nerd posted:

There are Clinton fans in Seattle?

I'm a Bernie lover really, but any chance I get to paint "TAKE A DUMP ON TRUMP" in huge letters is a thing I'd take.

E: drat I want that boar's head, I wonder if the guy would trade for handcrafted wool stuff or rugs or something...?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 04:16

CuteStorm: Sep 22, 2010

"The ogre lord's onion goodness"

# ? Apr 6, 2016 04:48

blunt for century: Jul 4, 2008; I've got a bone to pick.

http://stcloud.craigslist.org/zip/5524507932.html

# ? Apr 7, 2016 02:54

SneezeOfTheDecade: Feb 6, 2011; gettin' covid all
over your posts

CuteStorm posted:

The longer I try to figure out just what is so wrong about these lions, the less sure I am they are lions at all:

# ? Apr 7, 2016 03:35

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

8th-snype posted:

That walmart is a blasted hell hole, even by walmart standards. I had to go at midnight once on a nightshift because I needed a charging cord for my laptop, never again.

It's not too bad now, just obviously weird once night falls. Honestly if you want bad you should see a Phoenix Walmart. They have metal kick bars on the office doors so people don't, you know, kick them in.

Really Everett is such a cleaner city overall. More weirdo hippies like this, which are dumb and harmless

Typical Phoenix:

Scathach has a new favorite as of 07:15 on Apr 7, 2016

# ? Apr 7, 2016 03:35

8th-snype: Aug 28, 2005; My office is in the front room of a run-down 12 megapixel sensor but the rent suits me and the landlord doesn't ask many questions.

Dorkroom Short Fiction Champion 2012; Young Orc

Scathach posted:

It's not too bad now, just obviously weird once night falls. Honestly if you want bad you should see a Phoenix Walmart. They have metal kick bars on the office doors so people don't, you know, kick them in.

If you ever see me in a Walmart in Phoenix please know that I am there under duress

# ? Apr 7, 2016 04:03

CuteStorm: Sep 22, 2010

Phoenix and Walmarts turned up this gem:

Honestly, I'm rooting for him. You do you, kilt man.

# ? Apr 7, 2016 05:30

Teriyaki Koinku: Nov 25, 2008; Bread! Bread! Bread!

Bread! BREAD! BREAD!

This thread is like peering into the very heart of humanity. :allears:

# ? Apr 7, 2016 05:58

monolithburger: Sep 7, 2011

# ? Apr 7, 2016 07:36

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Man, finding these is like shooting fish in a barrel. Except for the personals section, I thought that would be a good place to find something funny but it turns out people trying to date through Craigslist are just too depressing.

# ? Apr 7, 2016 08:59

post-apocalyptic erotica: Jan 28, 2013

Typical Phoenix:

A lot of people in the southwest are into building "earthships", or buildings made from recycled stuff, and would totally snatch those up. Bottle walls are pretty common in those houses:

E: an old classic for content

post-apocalyptic erotica has a new favorite as of 17:45 on Apr 7, 2016

# ? Apr 7, 2016 17:42

captainOrbital: Jan 23, 2003; Wrathchild!
💢🧒

From AI:

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

# ? Apr 8, 2016 22:14

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Shamelessly stole this:

Palpek posted:

The weird thing is that it appears to be a pallet that they made. Like they got thick, really nice wood and made a pallet JUST FOR SHOES. They should have just made a box or shelf or something that wouldn't bend the toes.

E: box, not bod yeesh

Scathach has a new favorite as of 00:44 on Apr 9, 2016

# ? Apr 8, 2016 22:30

HenryJLittlefinger: Jan 31, 2010; stomp clap

captainOrbital posted:

From AI:

Didn't even think to post that here. I've been wondering all day what happened to that person. Got to get out of town fast, but is willing to hang around long enough to get rid of all that poo poo.

Here's one I found last year:

# ? Apr 8, 2016 23:26

hyperhazard: Dec 4, 2011; I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

Scathach posted:

Shamelessly stole this:

The weird thing is that it appears to be a pallet that they made. Like they got thick, really nice wood and made a pallet JUST FOR SHOES. They should have just made a bod or shelf or something that wouldn't bend the toes.

Reminds me of this one:

# ? Apr 9, 2016 00:19

Scaly Haylie: Dec 25, 2004

I feel like this is cheating, but here's what you get when you feed a predictive text generator a bunch of Craigslist ads for cars and pets.

# ? Apr 9, 2016 16:23

Sentient Data: Aug 31, 2011; My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

Weird Craigslist Ads: i need money for more details

# ? Apr 9, 2016 16:27

Grundma: Mar 26, 2007; DOG controls your destiny. Seek out three items of his favor and then seek his shrine.

Craigslist crazies are the best

# ? Apr 9, 2016 17:03

Carnival of Shrews: Mar 27, 2013; You're not David Attenborough

Coincidentally, �runs like a fish� is what a friend says about something that's not just broken, but so poorly/cheaply made as to be unfixable from the start: it doesn't run, never has run, never will run, and by the looks of it, was very probably never intended to run.

Content:

# ? Apr 9, 2016 17:09

Maggie Fletcher: Jul 19, 2009; Getting brunch is more important to me than other peoples lives.

Scathach posted:

Shamelessly stole this:

The weird thing is that it appears to be a pallet that they made. Like they got thick, really nice wood and made a pallet JUST FOR SHOES. They should have just made a box or shelf or something that wouldn't bend the toes.

E: box, not bod yeesh

Right? I mean, I don't have any designer shoes, I think the most expensive ones I buy are discounted BCBG and my running shoes are the most expensive shoes I buy, but I'm not even going to stick my Justfab heels in that thing so they can get all warped. Not when I can get an actual shoe shelf from Target for like $15.

# ? Apr 10, 2016 00:23