Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
hard counter
Jan 2, 2015





making a bunch of food and subsisting off the leftovers is nearly as little work anyway

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

Considering that most people eat 3+ times every day I never understood how people didn't learn how to cook. Like even if you eat out daily, you're still practicin cooking every single day
learning to cook is the same as having to dress up as a school girl once a week

Sheep-Goats posted:

I think it's ill advised for a girlfriend to try to make her boyfriend learn how to cook. This is from a man who considers himself a good and diverse cook (apart from baking gently caress that horseshit). The equivalent would be something like the guy being really insistent that the girl dress up in a school girl outfit for him ("actually it's for her so she can develop her sensuality a helk a gerk a diggle") at least once a week or something.

a star war betamax
Sep 17, 2011

by Lowtax
Gary’s Answer

Pththya-lyi posted:

Boyfriend wants to learn about cooking! :D He was the one who suggested that we cook together, and he even seemed cheerful about it! He'll pick out a dish, I'll get the ingredients, and we'll make it this weekend if we have time. It looks like everything is working out. :smug:

Lol I suggest you fry up his balls you just chopped off haha

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kT2KROiSXDg

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

Decebal posted:

what happened to all the hippies ? They were supposed to fight the man and not conform
as it turns out, it's quite difficult to sustain the five children you had at the free love commune without a job or a proper house

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

symbolic posted:

as it turns out, it's quite difficult to sustain the five children you had at the free love commune without a job or a proper house

But....all you need is love? :confused:

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010

symbolic posted:

as it turns out, it's quite difficult to sustain the five children you had at the free love commune without a job or a proper house

I saw The Beach and it can work as long as there are no sharks or cartel drug dealers :colbert: ( a field of weed is still advisable)

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004


55555

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"
Grimey Drawer

hard counter posted:

Pretty long phase. Whenever I used to kill a beard after November, I'd let it sit in something dumb for a day or two, something like mutton chops, handlebars, fu manchus, etc. One time I had it shaved into an anchor, which did require the intervention of the Hitler 'stache for the complete anchor. I did a job interview like that, got it, then had my photo taken for the ID badge with that abomination. Good times.

I worked as a stagehand then, there are almost no standards for personal appearance there, other then hygiene.

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

Decebal posted:

I saw The Beach and it can work as long as there are no sharks or cartel drug dealers :colbert: ( a field of weed is still advisable)

i saw this movie film and i like it a lot

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



I like to goose a pretty Dames cheeks

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

:rip:

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



why don't women understand that sometimes, JUST sometimes, the boys wanna get together and just kinda kiss and drink bourbon

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



man problem #4: not enough time in the day to take all these dumps i been trying to explain it to my boss but it's a woman and sheila just is not seeing eye to eye with me on this one because most of the time i'm sitting on the can taking a dumper

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010

social vegan posted:

man problem #4: not enough time in the day to take all these dumps i been trying to explain it to my boss but it's a woman and sheila just is not seeing eye to eye with me on this one because most of the time i'm sitting on the can taking a dumper

Just have her go in right after you're done. The smell of a manly dump cannot be faked my friend !

Decebal fucked around with this message at 21:07 on Apr 11, 2016

Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe
I have a pube halfway up the dick and it gets in the way so at least once a week I have to pluck it afore I jerk it.

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

Decebal posted:

Just have her go in right after you're done. The smell of a manly dump cannot be faked my friend !

It's full of pheromones, too. She'll probably finish taking her poo poo and want to ride you into the night. However, dating coworkers is frowned upon some places.

www
Aug 4, 2010

cant stop touching my balls

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

www posted:

cant stop touching my balls

same except my dick too

Jukeboxblues
Jul 29, 2015


Grimey Drawer
Women just won't stop bothering me!!!! They are just so RUDE! I have gotten at least 20 messeges today!!! They keep saying crap like "clean your room or no pocket money for you this week!" or "grandma has died and the wake is on Tuesday. Please dress nice, and don't embarrase us again" and even stuff like "your father has had enough. Get a job and start paying rent or we will sell those asian comic books you love so much.". Fuscking IDIOT women they are called Manga and are really well respected in Japan as a serious art form. I don't need to be womansplained to tyvm!!!!!!!!!!! Le sigh......

tater_salad
Sep 15, 2007


I like beer but don't want to buy new pants so I'm going on a diet so I don't need to get 36" waist pants and beer is out.
What liquor has a close to 1:1 calorie to drunken ratio?

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
time to graduate to whiskey

tater_salad
Sep 15, 2007


I love whiskey and own some already, good thing is I only mix it with ice and ice is a negative calorie food right?

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010

tater_salad posted:

I like beer but don't want to buy new pants so I'm going on a diet so I don't need to get 36" waist pants and beer is out.
What liquor has a close to 1:1 calorie to drunken ratio?

vodka tonic

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Decebal posted:

vodka tonic

https://www.caloriecount.com/calories-tonic-water-i14155
Tonic water 124 calories per 12 fl oz.

Surprised the poo poo out of me when I learned that.

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010

VendaGoat posted:

https://www.caloriecount.com/calories-tonic-water-i14155
Tonic water 124 calories per 12 fl oz.

Surprised the poo poo out of me when I learned that.

Ok, hold the tonic then

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010

Man of la manchat

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax

tater_salad posted:

I like beer but don't want to buy new pants so I'm going on a diet so I don't need to get 36" waist pants and beer is out.
What liquor has a close to 1:1 calorie to drunken ratio?

GHB

Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe
I met the woman of my dreams last week and it was love at first sight. I was about to have dinner and she came over and introduced herself! I'm wondering why such a gorgeous woman would even talk to me or ask me how I'm doing and make small talk. I don't normally assert myself but she was so perfect I knew if I let this one go I would regret it forever. Pretty, Friendly, Funny, Smart, Energetic. Cute little orange boy shorts. She had it all.

She still played the field and talked to other men in front of me. It really didn't feel so great but I get it, that's just the kind of games they play these days. I even played it off like I didn't care and told her so. She wasn't the only one with orange booty shorts and a white top either, but I didn't have it in me to talk to another one. I already found her.

I know she wants me back, though, because I asked her when I can find her and she told me. Being the man, I made sure I was there when she said she'd be.

And tonight is the night I make my move. At first she left me little messages on her notes at the end of my dinner but now the notes don't say anything. She probably expected me to do something by now and that's why she's disappointed. I am so stupid!

I haven't decided whether I should grab her rear end or slap it. I honestly can't tell which she would like more, but I'll just have to trust the answer will come to me in the moment. The manager will probably be really upset when one of his best employees runs off with me, but I've prepared a letter explaining he'll just have to find himself another Hooters girl.

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

do you guys groom your sackhair or what?

and how do you handle rear end hair if you're too poor to have it professionally handled and divorced so you can't force your wife to do it?

Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe

Tuxedo Gin posted:

do you guys groom your sackhair or what?

and how do you handle rear end hair if you're too poor to have it professionally handled and divorced so you can't force your wife to do it?

I normally eat around it but that's just me. If you want to remove it the directions are as follows

1. lather buttcrack
2. stand with feet shoulder width apart
3. insert and remove disposable razor assembly head-first between buttcheeks in a directly in-out motion repeatedly
*note: Take extra care to not allow the razors to move laterally
4. flip razor around and repeat against inside of opposite buttcheek.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe
As for the ball hair it's best accomplished as a team effort. Working in sections, one of you (either one) needs to stretch the sack apart like you are preparing to dry a pelt. Then shave as normal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kbgwgXX9wI

  • Locked thread