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8 track betamax posted:*squints at early morning sunlight clad in a stained cookie monster tee and weakly grips a half empty can of flat mnt dew left over from the night before and fumbles at sweat pants draw string and snakes limp pallid member out and a weak stream of urine bubbles out of the malformed eurethral opening and a group of neighborhood kids point and laugh and then call the police, sentenced to 2 years prison and added to sex offender list* One time a man in the gym announced to the gym that the water pressure in the showers was so bad it might as well be a half dozen five year olds pissing on him.
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Mar 29, 2016 22:13
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Nice Sweet Meat posted:Human with a penis checking in. For the record, this is one my favorite things about having a dangly bit. Someone go post this in the lady thread please they will go buck wild
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Mar 29, 2016 22:14
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Decebal posted:Maybe those are regular analogies in the plumber lingo In the UK probably
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Mar 29, 2016 22:16
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notZaar posted:8 psi is actually an incredible amount of pressure, that's like 20 feet of water head. dork
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Mar 29, 2016 22:47
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child piss
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Mar 29, 2016 22:48
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Dinosaurmageddon posted:IF YOU'RE A MAN AND YOU YOU'VE GOTTEN THIS FAR IN THE THREAD WITHOUT VOTING '5' THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING! whoops caps do waht i wanna do u bitc
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Mar 29, 2016 23:59
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Wicker Man posted:Ever get the "wandering itch" on your sack? You go to scratch it, and it's all "nope, I'm over here!" That's when you just distort the whole thing like the Predator yawning and then all is allright allday allnight
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Mar 30, 2016 07:42
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whoflungpoop posted:Have any yall made a poop so big you had to break it up with the toilet brush to flush it Chopstick from the kitchen and no, absolutely not
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Mar 30, 2016 21:50
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Shaquin posted:wine can be fine especially when youre younger if you didnt roll wild with a mega jug of carlo a time or two you've not lived I thought this was lyrics and tried to sing it but it fell apart at time or two
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Mar 30, 2016 21:51
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Shaquin posted:wine can be fine
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Mar 30, 2016 21:53
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Booblord Zagats posted:Check out my badass new AV someone got me, dudes! It looks like a little can opener on my phone
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Mar 30, 2016 21:56
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MiracleWhale posted:what i hate about this is when i shave it for date night to make the experience extra smooth and pleasurable for us both and I get an ingrown hair and it's this nasty red spot and i was tryna be all sleek and sexy and instead my lady got a bump of festering disease waiting for her down there Ladies are basically like one of those swamp levels in Demon's Souls where everything is infected and moist and there's slugs rolling around and stuff, gentially speaking, so whats haps bro
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Mar 30, 2016 23:23
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Girls have a small brain in each breast and these brains argue with the undeveloped child brain in her head and each other leading to prevarication, tittering, mood swings and unreliable telepathy. Breast size does not correlate to breast brain size though so there's no way to reliably choose a predictable woman where either the titbrains or the child brain dominates without going through the trouble of not looking at her tits.
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Mar 31, 2016 19:23
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lonesomedwarf posted:does anyone have the picture of that funny man he looks like this lol I know that picture
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Apr 2, 2016 02:38
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BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:Please elaborate He believes his wife to be carrying his son but is unaware that i had her sit on my pipe halfway through an ejac, which means she is full of my girlspawn, because that is how you make girls
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Apr 2, 2016 19:49
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbdi3mhr8u4
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Apr 2, 2016 22:04
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfJwoiw82Ng
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Apr 3, 2016 05:18
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http://webm.land/media/25vx.webm
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Apr 3, 2016 05:32
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I'm cheap enough with barbers that choosing between them is basically deciding what part of the haircut I will have to do on my own after I get back home
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Apr 3, 2016 18:03
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bongwizzard posted:I go to a barber because I can't trim my beard in a mirror without loving it up, and no way am I going to try to take a straight razor to my own head to get it all bald and smooth. Well flannel my wayfarers
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Apr 3, 2016 18:11
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I paid 11 dollars last time, showed the haircut woman a picture I have in Evernote called "haircut" where I am not smiling, and I made her gimme a rinse at the end. When I lived in NYC I was in a Chinatown and if the little gay Chinaman wasn't in my haircut place I'd check tomorrow because all the ladies would leave a ton of bulk on the sides of my head and after two of those I'd look like Mao.
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Apr 3, 2016 18:17
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Maoist Pussy posted:My beard is like iron and I own 5 different kinds of razors. I liked that "I'm an attorney" fakepost you made last night MP
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Apr 3, 2016 18:17
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bongwizzard posted:I do wear a little bit a flannel in the winter, but my sunglasses are seven dollar knockoffs all the loving way. 30 bucks every two weeks is a low price to pay for looking so good. lol
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Apr 3, 2016 18:35
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VendaGoat posted:The ladythread is spying on us. I told Chairman Meow she could come in here and read posts and reply with tangentially related lady things and she nodded and then I said IF I can do the same in the lady thread and she said "Eh... Can't promise you that."
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Apr 3, 2016 18:40
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Decebal posted:I've been re-watching some Breaking Bad recently and the writers really made Jesse into the biggest whiner ever. You claim to be a player, yet cry at the slightest hint of violence. Skyler is a really low quality wife and bad person.
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Apr 3, 2016 18:42
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bongwizzard posted:Men are allowed to be pretty too dude, it's 2016. lol
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Apr 3, 2016 18:43
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tater_salad posted:Guys I can't decide if I'm awesome or have a problem... You're chemically dependent on alcohol but hey so long as you're not a whiner / talking about your right to be manpretty / putting your finger into all the jelly doughnuts to mark them as yours idgaf
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Apr 3, 2016 18:47
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Decebal posted:I've been going to this lebanese barber for 10 years. I just sit down and he knows exactly what to do. I hope he doesn't die because I don't know how to describe what he's doing to someone else. 15$ and I give him 5$ as a tip Better take a picture and save it in Evernote
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Apr 3, 2016 18:55
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i havent let anyone touch my stupidly long lumber in years, i dress and trim it myself. i even worked up the nerve to cut my own router jigs after a few drinks and it didnt turn out terrible so that was a *gently caress yeah proud* moment for me. lumber yard stuff is just too expensive, it would literally take several hundred dollars because a lot of places charge by the foot after the first span 
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Apr 3, 2016 18:59
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Maoist Pussy posted:I don't make fakeposts, S-G, you know that. I object your honor -Maoist Pussy 
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Apr 3, 2016 19:03
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I woulda divorced her like a year after that kid was born, gently caress her
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Apr 3, 2016 20:33
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ChairmanMeow posted:there are ladies in there that would clap whoflungpoop posted:i might clap 
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Apr 3, 2016 23:46
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bongwizzard posted:Farting is gross and like acoustic guitar playing, should only be done alone. I'm getting real disappointed in your opinions and personal fashion sense itt bw
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Apr 4, 2016 00:04
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I prefer a really loud abrasive sounding fart in public to a quiet one that bothers me for 40 minutes in the solitude of my home, as though I had let a church adherent doing missions in the door and they are trying to find ways to not leave
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Apr 4, 2016 00:06
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Honky Dong Country posted:He drinks warm beer man, he was more or less dead to me after that. What a doodie brain
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Apr 4, 2016 00:07
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bongwizzard posted:Edit: It was anger beer, anger beer is best drank warm, it works better that way. No half measures doodie brain
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Apr 4, 2016 00:08
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bongwizzard posted:I'm still waiting for my song dude. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7MBGpZK9wg
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Apr 4, 2016 00:40
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lonesomedwarf posted:i have to quit smoking and i dont think i can and i dont think i can do this doing stuff all week poo poo anymore im ver. depressed rn irtt My grandpa smoked for 50 years and quit with the gum
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Apr 4, 2016 10:09
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I think it's ill advised for a girlfriend to try to make her boyfriend learn how to cook. This is from a man who considers himself a good and diverse cook (apart from baking gently caress that horseshit). The equivalent would be something like the guy being really insistent that the girl dress up in a school girl outfit for him ("actually it's for her so she can develop her sensuality a helk a gerk a diggle") at least once a week or something. I learned how to cook because I moved from a place that had cool good food to a place where if I was going to eat something like that it would only happen if I cooked it myself. My dad and my brother will just eat a hamburger from Wendy's every day or a can of Campbell's soup or something and look on you with extreme puzzlement if you suggest that they try making some meatballs to put in their jarred spaghetti sauce over spaghetti only, never penne or anything else.
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Apr 4, 2016 10:16
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Is Vitalis a loving Math Debater rereg? Good god
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Apr 4, 2016 20:22
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