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Last time I went to Chase Field it was Bank One Ballpark like 10+ years ago and I still loving remember Lemonade Guy. He's the best. YUMMY GOOD.
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Mar 30, 2016 18:46
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KIM JONG TRILL posted:The 2016 Texas Rangers: A good writeup that gets bonus points for including Anime Colby Lewis, but I am also going to have to dock a few points for not including a Keone Kela strut gif in the bullpen section  
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Mar 31, 2016 01:37
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RE: Diamondbacks The funny thing about the Bronson Arroyo trade, which everybody panned as the DBacks being pennywise about contracts, was that Touki absolutely floundered once he got into the Braves' org. He always had some control issues but it exploded in Rome. If he never turns into anything and the DBacks get anything out of Gosselin, then they dumped something like 5+ million dollars on the Braves (and eventually Dodgers where he was sent as part of the Olivera deal) and they got a utility player. There were enough things that broke right for the DBacks last year that it makes me wonder if Cardinals devil magic traveled to Arizona with LaRussa. I guess we'll see if David Peralta magically starts hitting LHP and Tomas suddenly can hit.
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Mar 31, 2016 18:51
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 I'd put them in the dumb luck section if that holds true.
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Mar 31, 2016 22:32
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Good Dog posted:
It's also the fallacy of the pre-ordained outcome. It's become very, very clear that certain orgs are way better at building skills than the others.
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Mar 31, 2016 22:46
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The Giants writeups were fantastic. My only suggestion is that we use one of the greatest baseball GIFs whenever Hunter Pence is mentioned:
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Apr 1, 2016 12:36
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Can someone do the Pirates so I know if I can either have hope or be crushed by the despair that we are going to lose another bullshit wildcard game?
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Apr 1, 2016 13:02
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Inspector_666 posted:It's also the fallacy of the pre-ordained outcome. It's become very, very clear that certain orgs are way better at building skills than the others. To be fair, a lot of what Arizona has done well recently has more to do withhiring Josh Byrnes and Jerry DiPoto years ago than it does with anything else. In one draft, they scooped two of the best players in baseball.
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Apr 1, 2016 13:53
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tadashi posted:To be fair, a lot of what Arizona has done well recently has more to do withhiring Josh Byrnes and Jerry DiPoto years ago than it does with anything else. In one draft, they scooped two of the best players in baseball. Yeah, I don't mean to say that Arizona are known for being able to turn guys around/really get them up to their ceilings, but a minor leaguer getting traded and floundering doesn't mean the guy was a bust to begin with.
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Apr 1, 2016 14:32
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JosefStalinator posted:The Giants writeups were fantastic. My only suggestion is that we use one of the greatest baseball GIFs whenever Hunter Pence is mentioned: The problem (not problem) with Hunter Pence is that there's like a million amazing pictures and gifs you can use. Same with Cueto, actually. If we held on to Aoki we'd have the most giffable lineup in baseball.
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Apr 1, 2016 18:46
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Capt. Sticl posted:he Arizona Diamondbacks, founded in 1998, play in the National League West. To be honest, if my team's Spring Training had that first moment, you drat right I expect them to win the World Series that year.
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Apr 2, 2016 00:45
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JosefStalinator posted:The Giants writeups were fantastic. My only suggestion is that we use one of the greatest baseball GIFs whenever Hunter Pence is mentioned: I miss him so much  On the other hand, his trade tree leads to Colin Moran and Francis Martes
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Apr 2, 2016 01:42
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Ammat The Ankh posted:The problem (not problem) with Hunter Pence is that there's like a million amazing pictures and gifs you can use. <--- Also  I love my awkward RF
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Apr 2, 2016 01:48
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6hCMKA9GBU
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Apr 2, 2016 03:17
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i read the title as Hunter's Hitler Youth
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Apr 2, 2016 04:19
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 The (not your, not anybody's) 2016 Atlanta Braves With a late push last year, the Braves managed to get comfortably over the .400 W/L% hump, and become only the worst Braves team since 1990, rather than the worst Braves team since 1988. Of course, in 1990, Atlanta was on the verge of an improbable World Series run and near-dynasty. The 2016 Braves are not. The 2016 team is the last in Atlanta before the team moves a few miles north to whiter pastures in Cobb County, up to a new field with some lovely corporate tie-ins, far from the antiquated '90s-era shambles of Turner Field. As a final gently caress-you to the city (and, also, legitimately good franchise decision-making), the Braves have made sure their last season in town will be one of their worst, 162 games of mostly poo poo players keeping lineup and rotation spots warm for the immense wealth of talent to come. Let's meet some of them! Manager Fredi Gonzales  The #Frediot hashtag is all too useful. Famous for going to SABR conventions, and then completely disregarding any possible thing he could learn there. Recent representative quote: "I know in the stat-geek world RBI is not a big number, but it sure is. Because you can have all the on-base percentage you want, if you don’t have somebody driving anybody in, you’re not going to score runs." Mediocre with the Marlins, unworthy beneficiary of the last flailing gasps of decent play from generations gone by, Fredi drat well better be gone by 2017 or the whole rebuild could go for naught. Thankfully it doesn't matter at all who manages the team this year. Key Gains (major league only) Ender Inciarte (CF) Erick Aybar (SS) Bud Norris (SP, oh god) Jhoulys Chacin (SP, oh god) Jim Johnson (RP) Key Losses Shelby Miller (SP) Alex Wood (SP) Mike Minor (SP) Andrelton Simmons (SS) Cameron Maybin (CF) Catcher: A.J. Pierzynski  Had an unexpected resurgence last year, even being the most reliable run producer in a terrible lineup after Freeman's injury. Surely that is sustainable for a catcher in his age 39 season. First Base: Freddie Freeman  One of two players the Braves didn't trade away, though not for lack of trying. If his wrist is healed, one of the better 1Bs in baseball. If not, then merely the best hugger in the sport. Second Base: Jace Peterson / Gordon Beckham platoon  Shortstop: Erick Aybar  Not Andrelton Simmons. First suggestions Google Images made were "wife" and "teeth". If not traded by deadline day, something has gone horribly wrong. Third Base: Adonis Garcia  Pros: named "Adonis." Very, very occasionally launches a ball into flight-path range. Cons: everything else. Left Field: Hector Olivera  Nobody knows much about him, least of all what the gently caress the Braves office was thinking when they traded for him, or what on earth they're doing converting him to the outfield. If he sucks this year they'll just have to cut their losses, he's 31 and won't get a single bit better from here. Fredi's idiot quote above was about Olivera, so that bodes well. Center Field: Ender Inciarte  Hey, an actual major league-quality player! And will possibly get traded as a result. Till then, will hit leadoff and try to get to the many, many balls that Olivera won't. Right Field: Nick Markakis  Odd acquisition last year, never got any power back after offseason neck surgery. Will be traded if and when he shows any power this year. SP1: Julio Teheran  The other piece the Braves haven't traded yet; much more likely to go than Freeman. Brilliant when on but maddeningly inconsistent. Still only 25. SP2: Bud Norris  gently caress, really? Reallly? Ugh. Maybe will bounce back to mediocrity. One of the least photogenic players in MLB, which is saying something; in a cursory search, this was the least stupid picture I could find. If he's at all decent, will be traded to some desperate team by midseason. SP3: Matt Wisler  Might be better this year. Has this year and next to figure it out before one or another of the prospects pushes him out. Looks like the sort of guy more often seen going door to door and explaining how far away he has to stay from schools and playgrounds. SP4: Jhoulys Chacin  Probably. Who really cares by this point. Also will be traded if at all serviceable. SP5: Mike Foltynewicz  Potential to be decent and move up as those in front of him get traded/injured/shelled. Potential also to suck. If so, then he'll be replaced by someone else who might be decent, like Manny Banuelos, or someone who won't, like Williams Perez. Closer: Jason Grilli  Pretty good till his Achilles injury. Already on the trading block; once he's gone, it'll be Jim Johnson here, after that Arodys Vizcaino or the resigned Eric O'Flaherty. Not that there will be many saves to get... Bullpen: Jim Johnson Arodys Vizcaino Eric O'Flaherty Jose Ramirez Daniel Winkler? John Gant?? O'Flaherty begged to come back after sucking elsewhere. He and Vizcaino are the only ones likely to be around next year (barring another PED bust for the latter). Bench: Jace Peterson / Gordon Beckham platoon Kelly Johnson Tyler Flowers Jeff Francoeur One of Drew Stubbs / Michael Bourn / Emilio Bonifacio The Braves have a good thing going in trading Kelly Johnson and then resigning him every year. Beyond that, it's badness of this team is encapsulated in Francoeur actually being one of the better options on the bench. Nick Swisher and his anchor contract got jettisoned thanks to a serious case of old. Bourn may follow but I'd rather keep him snce he can actually take a walk and steal a base if the other team forgets he's there. Stubbs was a desperation signing who may actually make the team; Bonifacio is loving dreadful and I don't know why they resigned him, much less for $1.25 million. Prediction: 59-103 and just beating the Phillies into 5th place and draft slot #1. Weirdly enough, I'm looking forward to it, it's nice to have no expectations whatsoever. Still, the two biggest days of the year will be international signing day (with Atlanta expected to blow $15-20 million or more) and day 1 of the draft.
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Apr 2, 2016 06:18
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Wisler looks as if he's about to take out Queen Elizabeth
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Apr 2, 2016 06:24
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R.D. Mangles posted:Wisler looks as if he's about to take out Queen Elizabeth Every time I look at his picture up there, his eyes get wider.
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Apr 2, 2016 06:32
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I like Wisler and his potential, especially after being tutored by Glavine on a changeup, but he talks to himself when he's on the mound, and deep in my heart I know he's actively trying to talk himself out of murdering people. Boy got the crazy eyes.
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Apr 2, 2016 12:37
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That catte picture gets me every time. 
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Apr 2, 2016 15:40
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Should the Indians be better this year? I feel like they acquired some power, and a full season of Lindor should help, but they didn't really address their mediocre bullpen. I also love that cat picture. Freeman to CLE, plz.
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Apr 2, 2016 16:07
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what team is going to be worse, Phillies or Barves?
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Apr 2, 2016 17:45
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DOOP posted:what team is going to be worse, Phillies or Barves? Phillies have more talent close to the majors so they'll probably pull ahead of the Barves in the second half.
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Apr 2, 2016 18:25
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Infidel Castro posted:That catte picture gets me every time. I want to cheer for every team that has a player that poses with their kitties. Also the Jays because dingers will never stop being good fun baseball.
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Apr 2, 2016 18:38
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divx posted:Phillies have more talent close to the majors so they'll probably pull ahead of the Barves in the second half. Yep. The Phillies' rebuild is coming to an end and if their high-upside guys (Franco, Nola, Crawford) develop they might well have a shot at a wild card next season, whereas the Braves are still in full-on rebuild mode and will most likely trade anyone and everyone who's had a good first half at the deadline.
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Apr 3, 2016 13:52
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No one did the Reds so here is a post about them before tomorrow! I am too lazy for pictures so I just listed players, slash lines, and their likelihood of being traded mid-season out of 10 using my proprietary TRADE FACTOR method. One of these players might be on your good team in July! C: Devin Mesoraco - Supposedly healed from his hip injury last year so he will be starting as catcher. Although they were still reluctant to give him much workload this spring! Great! If he is healthy maybe he can OPS .900 again. TRADE FACTOR: 3 (still cheap and young but only has a couple more years of team control so who knows) 1B: Joey Votto (.314/.459/.541)- Joey Votto rules and had an OPS of exactly 1.000 last year because he has Social Anxiety. TRADE FACTOR: 0 2B: Brandon Phillips (.294/.328/.395) - Actually had a good year offensively last year and doesn't seem to be doing the MIF fall off a cliff thing in your mid-30s thing. Maybe this year! TRADE FACTOR: 4 (Has already been traded twice but really wants a contract extension to waive his rights) SS: Zach Cozart (2014 .221/.268/.300) - Plus glove SS actually showed signs of being able to hit last year before blowing out his knee. TRADE FACTOR: 7 (Reds suddenly have a glut of MIF prospects and is a FA in 2018) 3B: Eugenio Suarez (.280/.315/.446 ) - Part of the Alfredo Simon trade with Detroit last year. Played surprisingly well replacing Cozart last year. No one seems to actually know if he can play 3B or not! TRADE FACTOR: 0 (FA 2021) LF: Adam Duvall (.219/.306/.484)+ whatever - The Reds really don't have a left fielder so they are going to probably platoon a bunch of weirdos until Jesse Winkler is ready. TRADE FACTOR: 0 CF: Billy Hamilton (.226/.274/.289) - Billy is fast! Billy can't get on base ;_;. There was actually talk that he might not make the team which is always a great vote of confidence TRADE FACTOR: 1 RF: JAY BRUCE (.226/.294/.434) - I bet he hits better than this in 2016 because he really isn't a lovely hitter or anything. TRADE FACTOR: 8 (He was a prospect medical report from being traded during ST) Bench: C Tucker Barnhart OF Scott Schebler OF Tyler Holt OF/IF/C Jordan Pacheco IF Ivan De Jesus Jr. I don't know who most of these guys are. Barnhart is a decent backup catcher and the Reds seem to like Schebler a lot (part of the Frazier trade from LA) 'Pitching' (IP/ERA/WHIP) SP1: Raisel Iglesias (95.1/4.15/1.143) - Cuban IFA last year who actually turned out to be pretty loving decent TRADE FACTOR 0 SP2: Brandon Finnegan (23.2/4.18/1.225) - Oldest guy from the Cueto trade finally isn't stuck behind a million super arms.TRADE FACTOR 0 SP3: MYSTERY PITCHER (?/?/?) - The original SP1 Anthony DeSclafani is on the 15 day DL so some random guy from AAA who isn't important enough to worry about arb clock is going to pitch a game or two to start the year. No one actually knows who it will be. TRADE FACTOR ???? SP4: Alfredo 'Big Pasta' Simon (187.0/5.05/1.439) - Hey buddy, heard that you were cut for being loving awful in the middle of ST. You were inexplicably good for us once, so do you want to be plopped into our rotation? Great, sign here please. TRADE FACTOR 10 (He was literally signed in hopes of being respectable and flippable again) SP5: DeSclafani (184.2/4.05/1.348) whenever he is off the DL - He sure has signs of being a pretty decent mid-rotation pitcher someday. Bullpen Cl: JJ Hoover (64.1/2.94/1.166) - He is pretty good and will make a lovely addition to your bullpen in July TRADE FACTOR 9 (Traded unless he sucks like he did in 2014) P: Tony Cingrani (33.1/5.67/1.680) - He tends to throw only fastballs and they aren't really very fast usually TRADE FACTOR 2 (Team controlled arm, only moved if he is really good) P: Ross Ohlendorf (19.1/4.94/1.448) - We signed Ross Ohlendorf? TRADE FACTOR 7 (See Simon, Alfredo) P: Jumbo Diaz (60.1/4.18/1.260) - Fat guy throws baseball somewhat hard TRADE FACTOR 6 (Traded if he is decent, he is 31) P: Blake Wood - I have no idea who these guys are P: Caleb Cotham - I have no idea who these guys are P: Dan Straily - I have no idea who these guys are P: Keyvius Sampson - I have no idea who these guys are plus his name is hard to spell gently caress you DL: Homer Bailey: Should be back midseason from TJ Michael Lorenzen: Fringe SP prospect that will probably get a rotation spot in a few weeks Jon Moscot: Bullpen guy John Lamb: Prospect SP from KC who will probably be in the rotation at some point. Might be pretty good! HOT rear end PROSPECTS IF: Jose Peraza - 2B prospect from the Dodgers that the Reds love to death but baseball writers seem lukewarm on. Starting in AAA to get ABs because Brandon Phillips won't waive his NTC. SP: Robert Stephenson - He will probably be really good. September call up unless the Reds run out of lovely starters before then SP: Cody Reed - Prospect from KC as part of the Cueto trade. Will probably be pretty good and in the rotation by the end of the year? OF: Jesse Winkler - Top hitting prospect in the organization, might come up in September. Expectations: The Reds will suck. Their pitching is super young and will certainly continue growing pains in a really good division. But with some luck (Bruce and Mesoraco play a lot and hit) they will maybe be pretty decent on offense. Lets say their record will be around 67-95.
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Apr 3, 2016 22:02
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Goetta posted:1B: Joey Votto (.314/.459/.541)- Joey Votto rules and had an OPS of exactly 1.000 last year because he has Social Anxiety. TRADE FACTOR: 0 You forgot 
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Apr 3, 2016 22:53
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Votto has been a giant goober all spring it is funny and weird https://vine.co/v/iDH3VYZq7VB https://vine.co/v/iDzOqw2tXL9
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Apr 4, 2016 03:49
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Votto also has the best/weirdest BSOHL conversation: Sarris: So this part is a little silly. Your speed score is up, you’re stealing some bases… you look… are your pants tighter? Votto: Much tighter. I’ve lost like seven pounds. Sarris: You looooook… different. You almost look like a soccer player or something? Votto: That’s a compliment. Sarris: It’s fit, but in a way that’s not necessarily what you think of when you think of baseball. Votto: I was tired of wearing pajamas. I would look at guys and they’re wearing sweatpants and hoodies. Sarris: Are we athletes or what? Votto: I get it. People can wear what they want. But I prefer wearing it this way now. I just feel like I’m good. I’ve lost weight. Sarris: Is that natural in-season weight loss? Votto: No, offseason work and some changes to diet and lifestyle. I feel great. I feel really good.
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Apr 4, 2016 04:28
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I love Votto, he is my favourite non-Cub in baseball. I totally agree on the tight baseball pants too. I also wear slim fit pants when I play. Votto rules.
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Apr 4, 2016 04:57
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What's the record for fewest wins in a 162 game season? Still the 62 Mets? because the Braves are gonna be gunning for it.
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Apr 4, 2016 07:50
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HOTLANTA MAN posted:What's the record for fewest wins in a 162 game season? Still the 62 Mets? because the Braves are gonna be gunning for it. I'd agree with you if the Braves didn't have to play the rest of the NL East.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:07
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What is Kyle Seager saying in that gif?
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Apr 5, 2016 10:03
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Grem posted:What is Kyle Seager saying in that gif? "I'm fuckin' ready." Google "Kyle Seager Jared Weaver" for some first class goading. Edit : http://deadspin.com/kyle-seager-trolled-jered-weaver-into-getting-ejected-1731318062 Pretty sure some Seager broke 8-9 unwritten rules somehow, but drat it if it didn't work. Tony Phillips fucked around with this message at 17:30 on Apr 5, 2016 |
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Apr 5, 2016 14:25
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I'm going to guess Weaver uncorked a fastball and that gif is Seager waiting for it to get to the plate.
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Apr 5, 2016 14:30
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elentar posted:
The brightest spot I'm counting on for the Braves is that Shae Simmons should be back this year and he is going to be death to batters. I don't really believe in Dansby Swanson but he has Brian Dozier level great hair.
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Apr 5, 2016 14:50
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LeftistMuslimObama posted:If somebody else wants to write up a detailed explanation of the Brewers' transactions this off-season, feel free, but allow me to summarize the spirit of who the Brewers are this year: With day 1 behind us, I can now give you a perfect example of why to watch a team like this. The Brewers were awful yesterday. Peralta showed a flash of brilliance in the first, but then fell apart, but there were bright spots. Scooter Gennett, a left-handed 2B who has historically had a terrible platoon split hit a definitive homer of one of the league's premiere left handed starters, demonstrating a continuing trend of burgeoning power for the relatively small player and perhaps a growing ability to pick up on pitches from lhp. We got to see some dazzling defense from veteran Aaron Hill, who we basically picked up to let AZ dump salary and enable us to get some prospects from them too. Braun, making his first start in LF since 2013, made a pretty good throw to cut down a runner trying to stretch a single into a double. Overall, the game was miserable, but we did get to see some flashes of players who might be able to take a place on a better roster in the future. And true to form, Mark Attanasio was sitting in the middle of a general admission section, and kept cutting off his interview with the announcers to jump to his feet for exciting plays. He also committed straight up to this season being the lowest point for their payroll. He made it pretty clear he wants to spend more money once they know who to build around. Also, my friends who went pregramed at 8am for their tailgate that started at 10am, drank all the way through the game, then had their DD bring the truck to the bar where they rented the kegs from where they continued to drink until about 11pm. Approximately 3 lovely bar pizzas were consumed.
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Apr 5, 2016 18:54
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Anyone else got a writeup to give before we get too deep into the season? Both my hometown teams have been covered, but I'd love to hear more about the others--in particular we're lacking a Pirates writeup!
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Apr 7, 2016 23:56
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Followup to my post: Eovaldi's first start was today and he was at 50+ pitches in the 3rd.
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Apr 8, 2016 00:01
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Inspector_666 posted:Followup to my post: Eovaldi's first start was today and he was at 50+ pitches in the 3rd. Despite getting through the first in six pitches
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Apr 8, 2016 00:08
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