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One time I picked up a patient that claimed to be getting raped by a ghost.
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Apr 1, 2016 00:36
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That kind of experience can really haunt someone.
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Apr 1, 2016 00:46
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Supple Moisture posted:One time I picked up a patient that claimed to be getting raped by a ghost. Did the police arrest the ghost at least?
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Apr 1, 2016 00:51
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TOOT BOOT posted:Did the police arrest the ghost at least? They should toss him in a ghoulag.
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Apr 1, 2016 00:52
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Supple Moisture posted:One time I picked up a patient that claimed to be getting raped by a ghost. He slimed me! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng0olzfFzog&t=42s
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Apr 1, 2016 00:56
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Supple Moisture posted:One time I picked up a patient that claimed to be getting raped by a ghost. This will probably happen more frequently now that the Ghostbusters are women. 
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Apr 1, 2016 00:57
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I have fond memories of the story involving a "smoove," aka an iron.
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Apr 1, 2016 01:11
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Mozi posted:My coworker was an EMT driver - apparently he ate a pound of chicken wings and a bunch of cake once after work. Pretty disturbing stuff! To add on to Lolie's post: There may have been dedicated ambulance drivers in the past (WW1? I dunno.), but these days both the EMT and paramedic drive and run calls. Don't feel too bad though, we get ambulance driver all the time and it's just something you learn to ignore...or roll your eyes at internally. I'm sure I've had a large amount of incongruous food after work. Maybe even...during? 
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Apr 1, 2016 01:20
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EMS in the United States didn't even exist until the 60s, dude.
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Apr 1, 2016 01:25
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ambuance make noise and gofast
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Apr 1, 2016 01:37
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My best claim to fame was an old lady at like 2-3 AM that ran out of her insomnia meds and couldn't fall asleep Yes of course we took her to the ER
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Apr 1, 2016 01:39
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Thanks Dopp, the EMS stories thread WAS ONE OF THE BEST EVER!!!!!
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Apr 1, 2016 02:28
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Recently took an assault victim to the hospital, said he was beaten repeatedly by 3-4 guys with baseball bats so he gets a full body assessment. He's wearing an open leather vest with nothing under it and I can see his broken ulna and bruised ribs with his unironic THUG LIFE abdominal tattoo clear as day, so I start cutting his jeans. When I get to the level of his pockets he starts getting antsy. "Hey man, don't cut up that far!" "Sir, I've already found multiple cuts on your legs and I need to see if you're injured anywhere else." "Yeah, but you don't gotta cut up to the balls, man!" I tell him that at the hospital they're just going to finish what I started, but let him have it his way since he didn't have any other leg injuries or evidence of groin trauma. We arrive, transfer care, and get out because any time there's a trauma patient, surgery residents come out of the woodwork like hornets from a hole and screw trying to elbow my way out of that mess. Turns out that one of my paramedic classmates was doing a clinical rotation in this particular ER on this particular day, and before our next class he imparted to me the reason my patient protested so: He was wearing black silk women's panties with frills and didn't want anyone to see. I tell this story not to make fun of this gentleman, but because I think I really could have done him a favor if he'd just let me cut & destroy the panties. I didn't give a poo poo what he was wearing and ER staff would have just thrown everything in a bag and not looked twice. 
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Apr 1, 2016 02:48
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Apple Butter So, for some god awful reason both of our Paramedics were off work, and the only replacement for the shift was our Chief. So one ALS truck and me and another guy as the BLS all-stars for the day. Hopefully this sets the scene. We head in to a call for blood in urine - seems like it could be BS so the BLS buggy set out with the ALS truck backing us. We arrive first and walk in. There is an older man who has just had his catheter removed the day before, and his daughter reports he had some blood in his urine. Okay. So she hands me a jar labeled apple butter. Half full, about. "What is this?" I ask, confused that I had been given a jar of semi-solid food. "It's his urine sample." At this point I must stress that the color and consistency are 100% accurate for real apple butter. I set the jar down on the table and while I deal with pop-pop, my partner struggles to explain why she doesn't need to collect a sample, and certainly doesn't need to bring it to the hospital. Then our ALS crew arrives on scene. Chief walks in, and is handed a half-full jar into his ungloved hand. "What the gently caress is this?" He asks. Daughter tells him. He sets the jar on the table, says "You guys got this." And walks out leaving us to take the transport. On scene time, 1min 15sec. Well, we get our patient packaged and ready to go, and daughter announces she wants to ride with us. Okay. My partner hops in the back, and I go to help her onto the passenger seat... When I notice what she still has in her hand. "You aren't going to carry this the whole time?" I ask, concerned about spilling it in the front of the ambulance. "Oh, I'll just put it here" she replies, putting it down in the cup holder before I can even say anything to stop it. I stop to check which one, and seeing it was the passenger holder remark "Okay, at least it's not mine." We get to the ER, and daughter walks in, still holding the apple butter. Sure enough, she hands it to the nurse, again ungloved, and again the "What is this?" question and answer session repeats. She is once gain told "nope, don't need it". So, she picks up the jar and wanders off to the waiting room, still convinced that SOMEONE at the hospital wants to see the drat thing. And that is the last I saw of her, or the jar. Of course the next day I bought a jar of apple bitter (same brand) and set it on the kitchen table of the crew room. After using a little bit for my morning breakfast. Stories to come: - "I didn't want to be a bother" - Investigating "A Strange Moaning in the Woods" 10/31 - Walker as a Deadly Weapon
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Apr 1, 2016 03:40
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TOOT BOOT posted:Did the police arrest the ghost at least? The ghost was detained in GHOST PRISON
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Apr 1, 2016 03:49
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Haha nice, I'm glad those drug addicts died
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Apr 1, 2016 03:53
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Puppy Galaxy posted:Haha nice, I'm glad those drug addicts died Hey man. We all gotta die. Not bad dying happy. 
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Apr 1, 2016 03:57
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why is unionizing so widely opposed in EMS? im p sure alot of the unions are rubbish that mostly just want ur dues but they still would likely be better than nothing esp in such a field where theres so many ways to get screwed over. sorry for the tangent but the ridiculous disparity in compensation as well as work conditions between public/FD vs private EMS drives me crazy, and is prob the main reason why ive stuck with a different (albeit safe and boring) career. i still maintain all my licenses/certs but its nothing but a fallback job to me at this point since i could not even come close to affording my current life working F/T (even with generous OT) for a private in MA if i ditched my current career. i dont know how many of ya'll (esp the EMT-Bs) manage and make ends meet (ie. afford a decent place to live and have the ability to start a family/carve out a middle class existence) unless maybe u get in really young - but i salute all of u little private boo-boo bus drivers  for putting up with the things u put up with every shift for such little appreciation for years and years.anyways, anybody have any good drug or narcan stories? maybe some intraosseous infusion ones as well, that is if actually u have any at all... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuWQyfGa1yI Mariana Horchata fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Apr 1, 2016 |
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Apr 1, 2016 04:20
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watch yourselves boys i think we got ourselves a badass
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Apr 1, 2016 04:48
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Dick Burglar posted:EMS in the United States didn't even exist until the 60s, dude. I'm well aware of this, thanks. I'm saying the term "ambulance driver" is so inappropriate and antiquated that it might as well be referring to those who solely drove ARC ambos during the war
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Apr 1, 2016 05:37
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I read this thread hoping none of the EMTs that have ever responded to my crises ever post any stories that I'ld recognize and go Oh spit. Although I do remember once severing an artery in my hand and calling 911 and describing it as like a fountain of blood that was kinda cool to watch...the dispatch kept kind of arguing with me and asking if I needed an ambulance and before I could answer my handset filled in with blood from holding it with the bleeding hand. Turns out no answer is an implied yes. (It woulda been smarter to apply pressure and use the other hand...but meh for early 90s tech) Yeah....fun ride that night. How'd I pull off this feat? I was trying to pry out overbaked brownies out of a pan with a 9 inch carving knife, which decided to bend and jump through the center of my hand that was holding the pan. Thankfully I've yet to read my mary poppins encounter from college.
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Apr 1, 2016 06:23
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The Light Eternal posted:-Diabetic and penis fell off <pours two liter of code red down the sink>
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Apr 1, 2016 06:57
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Mariana Horchata posted:why is unionizing so widely opposed in EMS? im p sure alot of the unions are rubbish that mostly just want ur dues but they still would likely be better than nothing esp in such a field where theres so many ways to get screwed over. sorry for the tangent but the ridiculous disparity in compensation as well as work conditions between public/FD vs private EMS drives me crazy, and is prob the main reason why ive stuck with a different (albeit safe and boring) career. i still maintain all my licenses/certs but its nothing but a fallback job to me at this point since i could not even come close to affording my current life working F/T (even with generous OT) for a private in MA if i ditched my current career. i dont know how many of ya'll (esp the EMT-Bs) manage and make ends meet (ie. afford a decent place to live and have the ability to start a family/carve out a middle class existence) unless maybe u get in really young - but i salute all of u little private boo-boo bus drivers I'm in a union shop and am a shop steward. I think it's because EMS is all Type A personalities who believe their opinion is the best. I work for the largest ambulance company in the US and was one of 6 people who negotiated our CBA. I was the only female field person on the negotiations team. I was also the youngest person by at least 20 years. People only care about what they are getting in the contract and could not give a poo poo about anyone else. Before I was on the negotiations team my co-workers ratified a contract that split the bargaining unit into two tiers so they could keep their health insurance but screw over the newer employees. In order to undo that disastrous idea, the older workers had to pay more for their insurance to bridge the gap between them and us. They acted like we were loving horrible for doing that even though they started it. They complain constantly and don't participate in the union at all because they're "too busy". Then if we don't immediately fix their problems they complain about paying dues. It's ridiculous and frustrating and I have no idea why I do it. I love unions, but I certainly hate how my co-workers act. We have the best pay and health insurance in the industry (relative to cost-of-living) and it's never going to be good enough for them. We have a long way to go but we need other operations to unionize as well so we have more bargaining power.
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Apr 1, 2016 07:02
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Zipperelli. posted:Dispatch: "Rescue 7, advise you're responding to a 25 year old female, alert and oriented, breathing normally. Patient states that she has a tampon stuck in her vagina." I'm goin in
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Apr 1, 2016 07:06
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The Light Eternal posted:I'm in a union shop and am a shop steward. I think it's because EMS is all Type A personalities who believe their opinion is the best. I work for the largest ambulance company in the US and was one of 6 people who negotiated our CBA. I was the only female field person on the negotiations team. I was also the youngest person by at least 20 years. People only care about what they are getting in the contract and could not give a poo poo about anyone else. Thanks for the insight with this one, my dad was an union organizer decades ago and has continually asked me why most private EMS companies seem to eschew unions when from the outside they seem like they would be welcome and necessary...and ive never had an answer as to why that is. The first bit matches a lot of what i read before confirming the typical opinions of workers and what i suspected to begin with. The rest sounds really unfortunate (prob much more than it actually is), and it doesnt seem like anything is going to change significantly anytime within the next couple decades either unless the industry somehow experiences a major trend towards organizing which seems so unlikely. it sounds like many have difficulty seeing the long term advantage in organizing (in a field with very high turnover i can definitely see why) and when they do the unions will tend to be weak due to lack of participation and pettiness...which of course is especially fanned on by the unique work environment, extreme stress, and nature of the job. However, it sounds like despite all this you've done some good work yourself though.
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Apr 1, 2016 08:04
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Doppelganger posted:For those who don't know, Narcan is a medication that basically reverses the effects of opiates in about a minute. If you can invent a drug that does this for alcohol, you will be a goddamn zillionaire. What happens when you Narcan a serious addict? Do the immediately go into withdrawal symptoms?
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Apr 1, 2016 08:20
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Angela Christine posted:What happens when you Narcan a serious addict? Do the immediately go into withdrawal symptoms? We generally titrate the narcan to effect in order to give them as little as possible. Basically give them enough so they're breathing on their own but not enough to fully wake up and freak out.
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Apr 1, 2016 09:37
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The thought of Union in EMS blows my mind and I'm pretty sure most places would fire you on the spot for "unrelated" reasons if they even heard you mention the word
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Apr 1, 2016 10:27
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Two of the places I've worked for would have absolutely found a reason to can you. The place I'm at now is non-Union but at the very least uses some lube before they gently caress you. gently caress commercial EMS forever, though. Municipal services are where it's at. I'm on duty today so if I get a minute I'll type up some stories/see if I can get my partner to type up one of his good ones.
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Apr 1, 2016 11:34
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The Light Eternal posted:We generally titrate the narcan to effect in order to give them as little as possible. Basically give them enough so they're breathing on their own but not enough to fully wake up and freak out. To elaborate on this, there are all sorts of things that could go badly if you give too much too fast, hence why we only give keep them breathing. One side effect is projectile vomiting. There's a thin line between giving enough to make the patient vomit, and giving too much, sending the patient into flash pulmonary edema, which is where your lungs fill up with fluids incredibly fast. I had a partner that was sick of a particular nurse at the hospital giving us poo poo every time we dropped off a patient one night, so when we got an OD call, he gave the patient juuuuuuust enough narcan as we were rolling into the patients room, to have her puking loving everywhere. All over herself, the floor, everywhere. He gave the nurse a hearty salute, and walked out. At the time, I thought it was magical, now, I just look back and realize how childish he was being.
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Apr 1, 2016 11:41
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Does anyone have a link to the original EMS stories thread? Somehow I can't find it even though I'm sure I'm just being dumb and missing it.
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Apr 1, 2016 11:42
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Zipperelli. posted:To elaborate on this, there are all sorts of things that could go badly if you give too much too fast, hence why we only give keep them breathing. Yeah, this is super childish and painful for the patient. It's an oldschool mentality: "gently caress the junkie." In reality, you are dropping them squarely into lifethreatening withdrawal symptoms that are super painful. Our protocol even says "titrate to respirations." A sleeping, breathing patient is an easy patient to manage. I'm cool with that.
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Apr 1, 2016 14:06
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CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:someone post a story where you had to transport a large amount of severed limbs My wife is an ed nurse and one of her friends had a guy show up at the ed and hand the triage nurse a Styrofoam cup full of his toes. Lawnmower accident.
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Apr 1, 2016 15:05
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I used to work in a slightly more rural area than I do now, and the local jailhouse didn't have a drunk tank. This meant that if a person got arrested and they were too intoxicated (I still don't know what their exact criteria is), they'd call us to transport them to the hospital for fluids and monitoring. Yes, it usually seemed like a waste of time and resources, but this is what happens when you live in the most litigious country on the planet. We get called for an intoxicated prisoner who'd been arrested for getting into a fistfight with his neighbor. The officers take us to a holding cell where we see a very large, naked black man laying face down on the floor. The only other item in the cell is a wadded up pair of women's panties that he'd been wearing. We wake him up and get him to walk over to the stretcher and lay down. It wasn't until after they shackled his wrists to the stretcher frame that he started to kinda snap out of his haze. We try to just get him to relax, but he starts yelling insults at the (all white) officers helping us, then says "Y'all are just mad that black people are taking over this town!" The officers, in their infinite wisdom, decide to help matters by saying racist poo poo back to him. At this point, his legs are still free, and he's getting more and more agitated, so I decided to take up some prime real estate behind the head of the stretcher because if I know my angry drunks, he's about to start spitting. "Ptoo! Ptoo! Ptoo!" One cop gets a nice wad of spit on his pants. Just as they're getting a spit hood to put over his head, he kicks his legs up in the air and spreads his legs apart, repeatedly yelling "EAT THIS PUSSY!!!" It's moments like this when I wonder for a few seconds how my life led me here. So they put some paper scrub pants on him, get his legs shackled, spit hood on, and my partner has so far given him 2 doses of Versed, a drug we use to stop seizures and sedate people. Cops may have tasers, but medics get to use mad scientist poo poo. He was still fighting, so one of the street cops who happened to be passing by pulls out his taser and holds it against the top of the guy's hand and says "If you don't calm down right now I am going to tase the gently caress out of you." This seemed to do the trick for a minute or two. We load him in the back of the truck and he starts up AGAIN. My partner gives him a third dose of Versed (all within our protocols), and he goes "That poo poo don't work on me. You keep giving me that poo poo and it don't work!" 30 seconds later he is out like a light. My partner, sweaty and tired from fighting this guy stands over him and says "Oh, I'm sorry! I thought you said it doesn't work, ya COCKSUCKER!" We got to the hospital and roll him inside. Another EMS crew was there with a patient on their stretcher and they're obviously looking with curiosity at my large, shackled, half naked patient with a bag over his head. I looked at them and with a straight face said "Guantanamo Bay." Got a mild laugh. A few days later I heard from another officer that they discharged him the next morning after he woke up, started screaming and cursing, then got out of bed and took a poo poo on the floor. Doppelganger fucked around with this message at 15:49 on Apr 1, 2016 |
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Apr 1, 2016 15:46
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Someone post the story about the woman eaten by her cats.
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Apr 1, 2016 16:52
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Nckdictator posted:Someone post the story about the woman eaten by her cats. We basically had to lay the body bag out unzipped in front of the toilet and yank her to the floor. She didn't land right, so we pulled her by the arms into the bag, and by the time we were done we'd dislocated both of her shoulders. I had suggested we just "Gilbert Grape" the situation from the start, but I got outvoted. Edit: It would have been easier if we had the old body bags we used to use, which had the zipper running along the top, bottom, and one side, which let it open and close like a book. Instead we switched to the kinds of body bags you see in movies, which zips up and down the middle of the front. These are hardly ideal when you're trying to drop a corpse into one and not have to do much manuevering after the crash. I have very strong opinions on body bags. Doppelganger fucked around with this message at 17:46 on Apr 1, 2016 |
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Apr 1, 2016 17:34
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If theres anything you should have a strong opinion on , it should be the quality of a bodybag.
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Apr 1, 2016 19:49
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Neighbor called a family member of some old gal who she hadn't seen for a while. Family member called 911. Looking through the house, wading through stacks of newspaper, and find her in a little corner. She'd been on the ground for about three days or so. Pretty much glued to the woodfloor via her own feces and urine. The smell was like you'd imagine.
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Apr 1, 2016 20:12
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Found it https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3469571&pagenumber=48&perpage=40#post427104383 quote:I've been putting this story off for a while. First off, I promised everybody ~gross pictures~ and this post does not contain gross pictures. Besides, after the poo poo that I'm about to tell you guys, it's hard to get excited about a blurry phone shot of a cholecystectomy with abscess.
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Apr 1, 2016 20:14
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I once had my heart rebooted twice in the same weekend
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Apr 1, 2016 20:18
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