|
Vastarien posted:Having an aneurysm while taking a dump, or having a heart attack while jerking it. Dying in an embarrassing situation, basically. I don't care about the dying part, I just don't want the EMTs to laugh at me. that's exactly the way i want to go i wish that when i die i will poo poo myself so badly that the whole room has to be flamethrowered to get rid of the smell
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:13
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 02:46 |
|
|
I'm afraid of loving in the cowgirl position and the girl comes down weird and just snaps my dick, just destroys that fucker forever, just deflates that fucker like a condom full of blood at a vampire's bachelorette party
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:15
|
|
|
im not afraid of telling you i love you.. but i am afraid of the snswer...
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:17
|
|
|
ANIME IS BLOOD posted:big tits and PAWGs, for the love of God don't post them or I'll get triggered so hard Smothered by either the tits or the rear end of said PAWG for me. Terrifying.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:18
|
|
|
Enfield posted:im not afraid of telling you i love you.. but i am afraid of the snswer... i love another
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:25
|
|
|
Hector Beerlioz posted:i love another whats his name
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:26
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:27
|
|
|
MiracleWhale posted:I'm afraid of loving in the cowgirl position and the girl comes down weird and just snaps my dick, just destroys that fucker forever, just deflates that fucker like a condom full of blood at a vampire's bachelorette party it might interest you to know that this can happen
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:29
|
|
|
Zorodius posted:it might interest you to know that this can happen oh I know 
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:32
|
|
|
One time I was driving in the desert, there's like nobody out, except one dude riding my rear end. There's 2 lanes so I slow down to like 40, hoping he will just pass. He doesn't, he just slows down, riding my rear end. So I speed up to like 95 and he's still right behind me. So then I get in the left lane and hit the brakes and he goes flying by. But then after I slow down significantly he still matches my speed. And changes lanes. So I get back in the right and so does he. Anyways I guess I pissed him off because suddenly my horsepower drops a little and I'm like wtf? I didn't think much of it then I'm parked at a campsite and I smell gasoline. So I start up my car like wtf I need to move out of this spot if there's a bunch of gas or whatever and I give my poo poo a good once-over and I see the fuel line spurting out of a tiny little hole. It's like really tiny, and cauterized as a perfect little hole. Fortunately I had some plumbing tape, so I fixed it and got it to a shop. The guy had fired a laser into the part of fuel line that protrudes beneath the chassis. That poo poo was p gay.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:37
|
|
|
ClamdestineBoyster posted:One time I was driving in the desert, there's like nobody out, except one dude riding my rear end. There's 2 lanes so I slow down to like 40, hoping he will just pass. He doesn't, he just slows down, riding my rear end. So I speed up to like 95 and he's still right behind me. So then I get in the left lane and hit the brakes and he goes flying by. But then after I slow down significantly he still matches my speed. And changes lanes. So I get back in the right and so does he. Anyways I guess I pissed him off because suddenly my horsepower drops a little and I'm like wtf? I didn't think much of it then I'm parked at a campsite and I smell gasoline. So I start up my car like wtf I need to move out of this spot if there's a bunch of gas or whatever and I give my poo poo a good once-over and I see the fuel line spurting out of a tiny little hole. It's like really tiny, and cauterized as a perfect little hole. Fortunately I had some plumbing tape, so I fixed it and got it to a shop. The guy had fired a laser into the part of fuel line that protrudes beneath the chassis. That poo poo was p gay. rude imo
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:46
|
|
|
I'm CIS-HET phobic.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:52
|
|
|
One time I had a lovely headlight for a total of like 2 weeks. I got it fixed but then all of a sudden I start seeing a whole shitload of cars with one headlight out. Like p much 100% of the cars when there wasn't a bunch of traffic out. I was like, hmmmm are these people worshipping me? So then I'm driving to my house and this guy with one headlight seems to be following me. So I take an alternate path, just making random turns. He follows me for like 7 turns so I just park in a neighborhood. He parks and gets out and just walks up to some random house and knocks on the door. He's standing there for like 20 minutes and I'm just sitting there smoking cigarettes laughing. He comes back to his truck and I confront him about it he tried to make up a bunch of poo poo but is interrupted by some other dude that pulls up and just says to him "just follow me" so he drives off following this other dude. That was p weird but I hardly saw anyone with a dead headlight after that.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:52
|
|
|
One time I was driving on a busy highway. There's some people standing on the side, a mom and her son I suppose. I could see them about a half mile up the road, and about 30 cars go by them in front of my and they are just standing there. When I drive by they stick their hitchhiker thumbs out. I drive by and I'm looking in the rearview and they aren't sticking their thumbs out for anyone else. So I double back and roll up and ask them why they are only trying to hitch a ride with me. They said they were investigating a domestic dispute. I was like sorry no ride.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:59
|
|
|
i aint afraid of no ghost
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:59
|
|
|
VendaGoat posted:Smothered by either the tits or the rear end of said PAWG for me. Jesus Christ how horrifying 
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:09
|
|
|
MiracleWhale posted:rude imo Like its p rude that someone could have stranded me for dead and potentially caught me on fire? Or are you implying worse things can happen? I guess I see it though, murder is kind of rude. That's the first adjective that comes to mind now actually since you put it that way.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:09
|
|
|
i cant sleep unless my head is under the covers and my legs are uncovered
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:26
|
|
|
ClamdestineBoyster posted:One time I was driving in the desert, there's like nobody out, except one dude riding my rear end. There's 2 lanes so I slow down to like 40, hoping he will just pass. He doesn't, he just slows down, riding my rear end. So I speed up to like 95 and he's still right behind me. So then I get in the left lane and hit the brakes and he goes flying by. But then after I slow down significantly he still matches my speed. And changes lanes. So I get back in the right and so does he. Anyways I guess I pissed him off because suddenly my horsepower drops a little and I'm like wtf? I didn't think much of it then I'm parked at a campsite and I smell gasoline. So I start up my car like wtf I need to move out of this spot if there's a bunch of gas or whatever and I give my poo poo a good once-over and I see the fuel line spurting out of a tiny little hole. It's like really tiny, and cauterized as a perfect little hole. Fortunately I had some plumbing tape, so I fixed it and got it to a shop. The guy had fired a laser into the part of fuel line that protrudes beneath the chassis. That poo poo was p gay. were they driving a black 1950s chrysler with chrome highlights, tinted windows and bullhorns on the front?? thats a jbs hit team. john birch society. i warned you and u didnt listen. *turns on hotplate, burns off fingerprints one at a time* listen close. find the business card i gave u and take it due north; the beeping will become more& more frequent as u close in on the reconaisance shovel. *takes out razor blade* when u find the shovel follow the beeping until it flatlines under a copse of old willows then dig at the point where their roots intersect. in a pine box youll find the reconaissance horn *shaves off eyebrows in one long horizontal stroke* blow into thehorn in strict adherence to the pattern of tabs inscribed on the trunk of the northernmost willow. *inserts earhorn* *turns it like a dial* im tuned into ur frequency now. dont stop playing til i get there. *frisks chevy* theres not much time *cocks head out window* *veers across backroads steering with the palm of one hand, holding fast to the signal of achey breakey heart played on horn tabs* Orkin Mang fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Apr 1, 2016 |
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:26
|
|
|
Orkin Mang posted:cocks
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:28
|
|
|
ClamdestineBoyster posted:Like its p rude that someone could have stranded me for dead and potentially caught me on fire? Or are you implying worse things can happen? I guess I see it though, murder is kind of rude. That's the first adjective that comes to mind now actually since you put it that way. it's one of the first things they teach you to avoid at finishing school
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:29
|
|
|
ive been afraid of alphabet soup ever since i ate a can two years out of date and almost died of hepatitis m
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:30
|
|
|
One time I drove over 300 miles on a coastal highway in 70 mph winds after somebody had loosened my carriage bolt on the axle I recently had repaired. I still got there before the movers. Aaaand, and right before I moved I had pulled up at an intersection and put my signal on to go left. Some lady pulls up behind me and puts her signal on left. She looked like a frail old lady who got punched in the face by a comically oversized boxing glove and her hair appeared to be encrusted in vaginal discharge, she had that look like something amazing and terrible had scared her face into a blown back position, like a dog hanging out a car window. Anyways I thought she might be following me. So I put my turn signal on right. She put hers on right. I put mine back on left. She put hers back on left. I put mine on right again but then turned left anyways, and she had her dick in her hand with her signal on right still. I heard some screaming that sounded like a duck or a terrier, like a goose getting punched in the oval office. Later that night someone reached into my car and pulled the turn signal lever out. I didn't have time to get a part before I moved so i drove my whole move using hand signals in 70 mph wind and rain with the window down. ClamdestineBoyster fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Apr 1, 2016 |
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:32
|
|
|
some times when my phone rings ill jump
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:32
|
|
|
i always smell things before i buy them from the supper markets
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:33
|
|
|
Spiders and centipedes and gross bugs don't bother me but gently caress crane flies what the gently caress is wrong with those things I fuckin hate em
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:34
|
|
|
My only phobia is dying alone and it's nice to pretend 50/50.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:37
|
|
|
I don't know if it's a phobia 'per se' but I'm worried that city buses will become sentient and their doors will 'eat' passengers. Transforming them into automatons that will follow me around looking for tokens and stealing my intelligence.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:57
|
|
|
I am afraid of stair cases and stair wells for some reason.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:59
|
|
|
She could have just put her turn signal back on left but she wasn't smart enough so she had to go right and be mad about it.  >go left
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 04:02
|
|
|
One time a guy parked his truck backwards in a handicapped spot that I wasn't waiting for (I was waiting for one I could use) and he pulls in backwards. He is parked so the hashmark space is on his side and his wheelchair-bound companion is up against another car so the accessible spot is offering her no benefit. He yanks her and her chair out of the car. I park shortly thereafter. I see the guy in the store as I'm pushing my cart, then a small child walks toward me, forcing me to angle towards him as I'm walking, and now I'm within touching distance of this creep. He grabs my arm and says "hey I'm sorry about taking that spot you were waiting for". I tell him to stop molesting me and harassing me about my disability and him and his companion start yelling at me, in addition to a 3rd party that wasn't with them when they parked, who shows up when he sees that I'm asking them not to accost me. They verbally berate me for some time and to feel that they have power over me start saying "walk away" as I start walking away because the conversation was over before it started. Maybe they wanted a fight and were using reverse psychology or something? I don't know. It was obviously the guys intent to do his little hate crime and then solicit a disposition on the crime he did with the clear and apparent intent to elicit a response from me. Now my arm feels sort of sore/numb where he touched me and I feel hot but not feverish and have hardly any appetite. I feel like I'm on speed without any of the euphoria.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 04:22
|
|
|
ClamdestineBoyster posted:One time a guy parked his truck backwards in a handicapped spot that I wasn't waiting for (I was waiting for one I could use) and he pulls in backwards. He is parked so the hashmark space is on his side and his wheelchair-bound companion is up against another car so the accessible spot is offering her no benefit. He yanks her and her chair out of the car. I park shortly thereafter. I see the guy in the store as I'm pushing my cart, then a small child walks toward me, forcing me to angle towards him as I'm walking, and now I'm within touching distance of this creep. He grabs my arm and says "hey I'm sorry about taking that spot you were waiting for". I tell him to stop molesting me and harassing me about my disability and him and his companion start yelling at me, in addition to a 3rd party that wasn't with them when they parked, who shows up when he sees that I'm asking them not to accost me. They verbally berate me for some time and to feel that they have power over me start saying "walk away" as I start walking away because the conversation was over before it started. Maybe they wanted a fight and were using reverse psychology or something? I don't know. It was obviously the guys intent to do his little hate crime and then solicit a disposition on the crime he did with the clear and apparent intent to elicit a response from me. Now my arm feels sort of sore/numb where he touched me and I feel hot but not feverish and have hardly any appetite. I feel like I'm on speed without any of the euphoria. what was his name?
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 04:25
|
|
|
dad gay. so what posted:what was his name? I don't know but he looked like Santa Claus groomed his hair with vaginal discharge.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 04:33
|
|
|
MiracleWhale posted:I'm afraid of loving in the cowgirl position and the girl comes down weird and just snaps my dick, just destroys that fucker forever, just deflates that fucker like a condom full of blood at a vampire's bachelorette party this legit happened to me. my junk was swollen for like a week and a half and boners were excruciatingly painful for month. All good now, though. It did mess with my head, though, because I had a bad case of shy dick for a good couple of years after that.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 04:38
|
|
|
ANIME IS BLOOD posted:Jesus Christ how horrifying poo poo keeps me up at night, Yo.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 04:55
|
|
|
This gonna sound weird, but I am legit terrified of video game glitches. If I am playing a game by myself and it glitches out, especially if it freezes and the sound hangs, I become frozen in fear. Once the sound terrified me so much I couldn't even reset the n64. One of the worst offenders is cartridge tilting glitches. When I tried doing it to access beta quest in Ocarina of Time, I was fascinated but also so, so terrified. Well that's my phobia tks for reading.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 04:58
|
|
|
LordoftheScheisse posted:this legit happened to me. my junk was swollen for like a week and a half and boners were excruciatingly painful for month. All good now, though. It did mess with my head, though, because I had a bad case of shy dick for a good couple of years after that. Bruises don't usually last that long. Maybe you should get off the embrel.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 04:59
|
|
|
Hector Beerlioz posted:Tell me about your phobias. For me, personally, I am terrified of heights. The thought of falling with 5 to 10 seconds to realize you are going to die and your body will be splattered everywhere is enough to keep me up at night. That pic of the 9/11 guy falling is enough to get me thinking about it. You hit directly upon one of my fears. When I clicked on the thread title, I expected a bit of a laugh, but that picture instantly came up and I had just a bit of a charge run up my spine.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 05:01
|
|
|
Fish and fetuses. Well technically embryos, the earlier the creepier. My dad was/is extremely "pro-life" and some of his propaganda really got to me as a kid. It's probably related to the uncanny valley phenomenon but pictures that were supposed to humanize barely developed fetuses had exactly the opposite effect on me. The fish thing is probably related to that too, but it probably also has to do with all of our goldfish suiciding by jumping out of the bowl. That made little me very unhappy.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 05:23
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 02:46 |
|
|
I've developed a weird heights thing. I was too stupid to be scared of heights as a kid I guess and climbed trees and poo poo like a squirrel. As an adult precipitous locations give me tickly balls but it's controllable. I could easily stand at the edge of a cliff and look down without pissing myself. It might take some dry swallowing and poorly concealed edging but it would be doable. However, when I am up high and look at something even higher, the vertigo is instantaneous and drat near debilitating. Like I almost have to avert my eyes or fall over. Only an extreme act of will can keep me centered enough to continue looking. Even loving vaulted ceilings can do this to me. If I were at the rail of a choir balcony in a cathedral and looked at the ceiling, it would happen. If I go out onto a balcony in manhattan that's up high and look at a taller building, it happens. If I'm on a ladder and look at a branch or wtf ever 20 feet up, it happens. It's the craziest poo poo. There's nothing intellectual about it. I'm sure enough of myself that I'm not worried about falls. It's some primal meat-reaction. But why so drat specific? I mean I guess it's better that I'm fine looking down or across from up high, but why specifically does looking up from high cause that reaction? Brains are weird.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 05:24
|
|
