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we had a pretty big argument this morning over some bathroom etiquette. she maintains that you have to wipe every time you take a poo poo, even if you're about to get in the shower. i, being the rational one, politely told her that she was loving wrong. it's a complete waste of toilet paper to wipe before you take a shower, and only obsessive compulsive assholes think that wiping is necessary. what do?
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Apr 4, 2016 14:56
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 05:19 |
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mr_cramalldees posted:what do? wipe your goddamn rear end, you filthy shitlord
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Apr 4, 2016 14:57
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Why not combine the best of both worlds and get a bidet?
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Apr 4, 2016 14:57
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your wife is correct and it's probably not about the wiping so much as her being fed up with your slovenliness in general hth
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Apr 4, 2016 14:57
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Sounds like reasonable grounds for divorce, I'll draw up the papers.
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Apr 4, 2016 14:57
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hug her, then walk her backwards into the Churning Wall
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Apr 4, 2016 14:58
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take a poo poo IN the shower. cut out the middle man.
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Apr 4, 2016 14:58
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Applewhite posted:Why not combine the best of both worlds and get a bidet? i saw the attachments on amazon, i'm seriously considering this. who's alright with just wiping poop off their body with paper? what other body part do you not wash if there's poop on it?
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Apr 4, 2016 14:58
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haha your wife is married to a giant dingleberry
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Apr 4, 2016 14:59
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scott zoloft posted:haha your wife is married to a giant dingleberry to be fair, i warned her.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:00
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You should just be using your hands to wipe anyway, so there would be no waste by wiping.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:00
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divorce is actually cool and good
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Apr 4, 2016 15:01
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Did she watch you poop or did you tell her about your no wipe adventure?
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Apr 4, 2016 15:02
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have you considered a bidet? i certainly haven't
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Apr 4, 2016 15:02
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mr_cramalldees posted:i saw the attachments on amazon, i'm seriously considering this. The inner thigh for sure, maybe even he chest if it's spread thin enough and smells good.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:02
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donkey salami posted:Did she watch you poop or did you tell her about your no wipe adventure? i told her all the money we saved on toilet paper would pay for our childrens' college.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:03
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i wish i had a wife who could threaten to divorce me thus cleaning my anus
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Apr 4, 2016 15:04
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but you can't have children. we know this already
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Apr 4, 2016 15:04
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she could inspect it to see if its clean and i could fart in her face
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Apr 4, 2016 15:05
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Can I get her phone number?
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Apr 4, 2016 15:07
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Nation posted:she could inspect it to see if its clean and i could fart in her face this is like page 3 in the marriage handbook, don't do that or divorce.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:08
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break a hole in the tile then shamble down the wetwall into the basement. attack the walkers you find there and then make your way to the floor drain. emulsify yourself and seep into the drain. work your way to the end of the tube and then dissolve into nothingness.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:10
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mr_cramalldees posted:this is like page 3 in the marriage handbook, don't do that or divorce. i will never get to read that book 
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Apr 4, 2016 15:10
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dad gay. so what posted:break a hole in the tile then shamble down the wetwall into the basement. attack the walkers you find there and then make your way to the floor drain. emulsify yourself and seem into the drain. work your way to the end of the tube and then dissolve into nothingness. solid advice
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Apr 4, 2016 15:10
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Something tells me you're not telling the whole story, OP. When you say you dont have to wipe your rear end before taking a shower, how long do you mean before taking a shkwer? Are we talking right from the toilet to the shower, without even pulling your pants up? Or do you mean like finish taking a poo poo and not wiping, know you're also taking a shower at some point today, and then just go grocery shopping or something?
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Apr 4, 2016 15:11
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have you considered murdering your wife
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Apr 4, 2016 15:11
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Came in here expecting to apologize to you, only to discover I must apologize for you.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:11
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mr_cramalldees posted:i told her all the money we saved on toilet paper would pay for our childrens' college. a pack of Scott Tissues costs like 0.1 cents per sheet you dirty assed oval office
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Apr 4, 2016 15:12
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dad gay. so what posted:break a hole in the tile then shamble down the wetwall into the basement. attack the walkers you find there and then make your way to the floor drain. emulsify yourself and seep into the drain. work your way to the end of the tube and then dissolve into nothingness.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:13
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:Something tells me you're not telling the whole story, OP. When you say you dont have to wipe your rear end before taking a shower, how long do you mean before taking a shkwer? Are we talking right from the toilet to the shower, without even pulling your pants up? Or do you mean like finish taking a poo poo and not wiping, know you're also taking a shower at some point today, and then just go grocery shopping or something? the shower is running in preparation because i'm old enough to have a set routine. turn on shower > shave > poop > take shower. i don't wear pants in my own house, do i seem like some sort of cu.ck boy? i waddle my lovely rear end over and hop in the shower rear end in a top hat first.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:13
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Apr 4, 2016 15:13
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sup aplewhite
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Apr 4, 2016 15:14
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Putty posted:a pack of Scott Tissues costs like 0.1 cents per sheet you dirty assed oval office that kind of money adds up to dental school in the philipines. my kids wouldn't be a success if they were your kids because you robbed them for Scott Tissues.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:14
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mr_cramalldees posted:that kind of money adds up to dental school in the philipines. my kids wouldn't be a success if they were your kids because you robbed them for Scott Tissues. your dirty-rear end disgusting children are going to fail when they're socially ostracized for being smelly, disgusting assholes from the habits they learned from their smellier, grosser father either that or become the OCD sperglords you fear as a reaction to it either way
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Apr 4, 2016 15:17
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wiat a minute---
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Apr 4, 2016 15:19
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omg ive never washed my rear end
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Apr 4, 2016 15:19
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ANIME IS BLOOD posted:your dirty-rear end disgusting children are going to fail when they're socially ostracized for being smelly, disgusting assholes from the habits they learned from their smellier, grosser father your old man must have wiped before he showered, because that third rate uni you went to must not have taught reading. i didn't say i don't wipe, i said that under very specific circumstances (e.g. going from the shitter to the shower) that wiping was unnecessary. thank god my chirrens will be able to go to good school.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:21
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mr_cramalldees posted:we had a pretty big argument this morning over some bathroom etiquette. she maintains that you have to wipe every time you take a poo poo, even if you're about to get in the shower. i, being the rational one, politely told her that she was loving wrong. it's a complete waste of toilet paper to wipe before you take a shower, and only obsessive compulsive assholes think that wiping is necessary. Give me your wife's phone number.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:23
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mr_cramalldees posted:your old man must have wiped before he showered, because that third rate uni you went to must not have taught reading. i didn't say i don't wipe, i said that under very specific circumstances (e.g. going from the shitter to the shower) that wiping was unnecessary. thank god my chirrens will be able to go to good school. you sick gently caress.
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Apr 4, 2016 15:23
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take opiates and never poo poo again, OP
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Apr 4, 2016 15:26
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