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JiveHonky posted:if you dont use a washrag it is i who contend that YOU may be the unhygenic ones. I use a luffa because I'm sophisticated as gently caress, but I use it to clean my already wiped rear end so I don't it clogged with chunks of literal poo poo
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Apr 4, 2016 22:44
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Booblord Zagats posted:I use a luffa because I'm sophisticated as gently caress, but I use it to clean my already wiped rear end so I don't it clogged with chunks of literal poo poo i dont know its sounding more and more like you have abnormal bowels, my goondolences to you and your family in this time of crisis
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Apr 4, 2016 22:46
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Take a swamp bath - you draw a nice hot bath with candles and hop right in after you are done at the throne. You'll thank me later.
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Apr 4, 2016 22:50
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JiveHonky posted:i dont know its sounding more and more like you have abnormal bowels, my goondolences to you and your family in this time of crisis I poop every day sometime between 6 and 8 am in good consistency. I just have a freakish amount of crack-hair, so wiping is doubly importante
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Apr 4, 2016 22:50
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mr_cramalldees posted:we had a pretty big argument this morning over some bathroom etiquette. she maintains that you have to wipe every time you take a poo poo, even if you're about to get in the shower. i, being the rational one, politely told her that she was loving wrong. it's a complete waste of toilet paper to wipe before you take a shower, and only obsessive compulsive assholes think that wiping is necessary. impossible situation basically. i cant see an easy out here
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Apr 4, 2016 22:55
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no sl;imy zero wipe way out of this one op
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Apr 4, 2016 22:56
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I'm very happy for your wife, op.
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Apr 4, 2016 23:32
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bring back old gbs posted:no sl;imy zero wipe way out of this one op i thought "spread cheeks, apply scalding hot water" was thorough enough, but apparently the goon masses think that futile smearing of poo poo with paper adds to the cleanliness. edit: fighting phone keyboard
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Apr 4, 2016 23:34
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mr_cramalldees posted:i thought "spread cheeks, apply scalding hot water" was thorough enough, but apparently the goon masses think that frugal smearing of poo poo with paper adds to the cleanliness. they want u to mix it in w/ the b hole pubes. goons are disgusting
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Apr 4, 2016 23:36
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So how did this argument happen anyways? Did she sit you down and tell you that you guys needed to have a serious discussion about your rear end? Or did you get smug and bring it up during breakfast or something?
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Apr 4, 2016 23:48
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Here's the problem. There's a given level of poo on your rear. That level increases after you take a dump. When you then go into the shower you are then rinsing that poo poo down your legs, onto your feet and then all over the shower. Now if you wiped then there is a negligible amount of poo poo you're spreading around, even less if you was your rear end last like god intended. You don't wipe and are thus getting poo poo everywhere and on everything. Well not on everything because your certainly aren't taking showers with your wife because why would you want to get into sexy soap times with someone flinging the Ganges around the shower. The fact that not only people have to point this out to you, you are also arguing about not getting poo poo everywhere should be grounds for immediate divorce.
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Apr 5, 2016 00:03
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Arkanomen posted:Here's the problem. There's a given level of poo on your rear. That level increases after you take a dump. When you then go into the shower you are then rinsing that poo poo down your legs, onto your feet and then all over the shower. Now if you wiped then there is a negligible amount of poo poo you're spreading around, even less if you was your rear end last like god intended. You don't wipe and are thus getting poo poo everywhere and on everything. Well not on everything because your certainly aren't taking showers with your wife because why would you want to get into sexy soap times with someone flinging the Ganges around the shower. While I disagree with you, I appreciate your input. There's likely more poo poo on your cell phone than there is in my shower, but there's no social stigma about that (mostly because it's inconvenient).
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Apr 5, 2016 00:18
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lol if you don't have a toilet in the shower like a Japanese poor person
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Apr 5, 2016 00:20
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Congrats on your upcoming divorce. Now you have more time to make horrible threads op.
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Apr 5, 2016 00:52
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haris pilton posted:Congrats on your upcoming divorce. Now you have more time to make horrible threads op. shut up and rate it 5
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Apr 5, 2016 01:04
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OP at 65 : "Well let me tell you, I once had the most beautiful wife ...." "what happened pops?" "I wouldn't wipe my rear end"
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Apr 5, 2016 01:21
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Do her in the shitter.
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Apr 5, 2016 03:49
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I use toilet paper and baby wipes when I poo poo at home because I'm not a loving animal like the op
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Apr 5, 2016 03:56
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SirEvelynTremble posted:OP at 65 :
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Apr 5, 2016 03:57
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I wear a pair of watertight pants of my own design that I can urinate or defecate into at will, removing the need for toilets and, thus, toilet paper.
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Apr 5, 2016 04:00
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Livestock did it better http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1423073 e: oh what the hell the scripts all broke
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Apr 5, 2016 04:02
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flakeloaf posted:Livestock did it better Didn't have enough patience to parse it, but it looks like a gem based on the parties present.
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Apr 5, 2016 04:09
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answer my question about how this argument started
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Apr 5, 2016 04:23
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WanderingMinstrel I posted:answer my question about how this argument started You must not be married. Here's a free lesson, everything is an argument. Always.
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Apr 5, 2016 04:26
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mr_cramalldees posted:You must not be married. Here's a free lesson, everything is an argument. Always. Did you two just start chatting about rear end wiping philosophies over cheerios? Were you hanging out with her friends and brought it up all smuglike as part of a conversation about how much TP women use?
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Apr 5, 2016 04:37
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WanderingMinstrel I posted:Did you two just start chatting about rear end wiping philosophies over cheerios? Were you hanging out with her friends and brought it up all smuglike as part of a conversation about how much TP women use? Ah, yea, over breakfast. But it was peanut butter crunch.
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Apr 5, 2016 04:38
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mr_cramalldees posted:Ah, yea, over breakfast. But it was peanut butter crunch. drive ur wife into the arms of another man, maybe start inviting a handsome single friend over to the house more and more often. hire a PI to keep tabs on her and when she cheats on u cha ching divorce town and u get alimony
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Apr 5, 2016 04:41
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totally unrelated to this i think she's right to divorce you
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Apr 5, 2016 04:43
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bring back old gbs posted:drive ur wife into the arms of another man, maybe start inviting a handsome single friend over to the house more and more often. Straight profit. I'll send you your creative consultation payment once I get my settlement.
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Apr 5, 2016 04:44
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drat if I ever had a wife would we have had this argument? Glad I dodged that bullet. Oh wait no I would just wipe my rear end in a top hat. But this guy has a wife? Wtf is wrong with me...
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Apr 5, 2016 04:59
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ugly posted:drat if I ever had a wife would we have had this argument? Glad I dodged that bullet. Oh wait no I would just wipe my rear end in a top hat. But this guy has a wife? Wtf is wrong with me... I have dashing good looks and a high annual income. I'm basically everything you aren't.
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Apr 5, 2016 05:16
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The fact that you run the shower before you shave and poo poo wastes more money than a few squares of TP, but you already knew that. You're just here for attention because you don't get any from your wife on account of your poo poo encrusted ring piece.
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Apr 5, 2016 05:16
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mr_cramalldees posted:I have dashing good looks and a high annual income. I'm basically everything you aren't. Yeah and I'm the guy posting a thread in GBS about getting a divorce over his inability to wipe his rear end.
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Apr 5, 2016 05:22
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Divorce her then just do the John Holmes thing where you pay hookers $20 to wipe your rear end with their tongues.
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Apr 5, 2016 05:24
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I have a high annual income, I should be paying my wife to wipe my rear end. That dumb bitch what does she even do anyway.
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Apr 5, 2016 05:29
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Op stop wasting your wifes hot water
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Apr 5, 2016 05:33
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mr_cramalldees posted:While I disagree with you, I appreciate your input. There's likely more poo poo on your cell phone than there is in my shower, but there's no social stigma about that (mostly because it's inconvenient). ....how do you hold a telephone?
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Apr 5, 2016 05:34
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ugly posted:I have a high annual income, I should be paying my wife to wipe my rear end. That dumb bitch what does she even do anyway. The neighbour 
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Apr 5, 2016 05:35
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no checkbox poll, voted 1
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Apr 5, 2016 05:40
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I used to be like you op. Until one day I didn't wipe and my rear end dropped a clinger onto the bathroom rug as I got up to get in the shower. You're messing with fire here and your wife has predicted the inevitable
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Apr 5, 2016 05:43
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