Would someone please explain NASCAR to me

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Would someone please explain NASCAR to me

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

NASCAR is boring as hell to watch but the amount of skill that the drivers have to be able to do near perfect laps within a few inches of everyone else is honestly impressive. While F1, LeMans, GT and other racing types are more fun to watch because they have better run ups, way more high risk passing and more challenging tracks, the amount of endurance, both mental and physical that is required by NASCAR drivers is phenomenal

# ? Apr 5, 2016 17:52

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:53

AugmentedVision: Feb 17, 2011; by exmarx

Booblord Zagats posted:

NASCAR is boring as hell to watch but the amount of skill that the drivers have to be able to do near perfect laps within a few inches of everyone else is honestly impressive. While F1, LeMans, GT and other racing types are more fun to watch because they have better run ups, way more high risk passing and more challenging tracks, the amount of endurance, both mental and physical that is required by NASCAR drivers is phenomenal

lol shut the gently caress up

# ? Apr 5, 2016 17:55

jonathan: Jul 3, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Nooner posted:

um technology? listen pal I have the Ultimate Driving Machine, I could tell you a thing or two about car technology

800+ horsepower small block v8's turning 9000rpm for 3 hours straight with huge build restrictions. 3400+- lb cars traveling 200mph inches from each other. Lots of tech and engineering in these cars. The budgets of these competitive race teams are around 1/2million per week.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:01

FlimFlam Imam: Mar 1, 2007; Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

Pretty good race on Sunday, clean for a short track. I don't like Kyle Bush though, that guy is a douche and his brother Kurt "big ears" Bush is a second rate lovely driver that causes way too many wrecks.

They need to replace Darryl Waltrip with Mark Martin as an announcer. Jeff Gordon is doing a better job than I expected, I thought he was going to be the Joe Theismann of NASCAR.

That's my two cents, thanks for listening.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:04

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Nascar would be way cooler if they strapped bombs to the cars and the cars had to complete a lap in a set amount of time or they'd explode

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:06

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

F1 cars are fuckin cool and highly sophisticated machines but watching them race is still painfully dull imo. the funnest car-involved sport to watch is probably rally stuff where you see a car roll down the entire side of a cliff and poo poo and it just keeps going. way cooler than stock cars any day.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:07

AugmentedVision: Feb 17, 2011; by exmarx

jonathan posted:

NASCAR is a great race for spectators because of the oval track. You can watch pretty much every pass, crash etc with the naked eye.

Many of the drivers have done well on traditional road races as well, such as Dale Earnhardt and his son placing a podium finish at the 24hr Daytona race.

However I'm not really into watching it although the technology is pretty amazing. I'm much more into V8 Supercars, and recently, Stadium Supertrucks.

jonathan posted:

800+ horsepower small block v8's turning 9000rpm for 3 hours straight with huge build restrictions. 3400+- lb cars traveling 200mph inches from each other. Lots of tech and engineering in these cars. The budgets of these competitive race teams are around 1/2million per week.

This is the weirdest loving opinion

I mean people who like Formula 1 for the technology are pretty weird because technoology doesn't have anything to do with how good a sport is, so why don't you j/o to something more normal like SR71 or trains or whatever?

But liking NASCAR for the technology that's on a whole another level

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:07

Pitdragon: Jan 20, 2004; Just another lurker

beavis and butthead explains this phenomenon very well, please refer to them OP

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:18

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

AugmentedVision posted:

This is the weirdest loving opinion

I mean people who like Formula 1 for the technology are pretty weird because technoology doesn't have anything to do with how good a sport is, so why don't you j/o to something more normal like SR71 or trains or whatever?

But liking NASCAR for the technology that's on a whole another level

Someone uses the bike lane!

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:19

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

i am completely shocked that people have passions and interests and... like.. things :confused:

?

look at them with their silly engines. lol i push the pedal and it moves the car what more do you need to know

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:21

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

i imagine that actually participating in a nascar race rocks. watching one is boring as gently caress though, which is why no one does it sober.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:22

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Do they actually pee their pants during the race?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:23

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

OctoberBlues posted:

Do they actually pee their pants during the race?

dont they all wear diapers?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:27

jonathan: Jul 3, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

AugmentedVision posted:

This is the weirdest loving opinion

I mean people who like Formula 1 for the technology are pretty weird because technoology doesn't have anything to do with how good a sport is, so why don't you j/o to something more normal like SR71 or trains or whatever?

But liking NASCAR for the technology that's on a whole another level

I've had a few dedicated race cars that I've built from scratch and I enjoy the science behind setting them up.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:29

AugmentedVision: Feb 17, 2011; by exmarx

Booblord Zagats posted:

Someone uses the bike lane!

tell me more about which chisel jawed pussy pounding racing driver is more "skill" and which one is more "endurance" in your fat goon opinion

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:33

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

AugmentedVision posted:

tell me more about which chisel jawed pussy pounding racing driver is more "skill" and which one is more "endurance" in your fat goon opinion

F1 is probably more skill considering how tricky high speed turning in a "kart" style racer can be with those kinds of tolerances, physical endurance is probably in F1s and higher end GT's favor considering lateral Gs and how passing works in those. BUT NASCAR still podiums because of the length of race, the insane closeness to other vehicles at all times regardless of position, and that also most likely gives them the toughest mental job.

Though a strong argument could also be made for rally racing because of the dangerous nature of racing is only amplified with less-than-clear tracks and unpredictable road conditions.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:39

City of Tampa: May 6, 2007; by zen death robot

Nascar is soooo much fun to watch in person, it's hard to describe unless you've actually been there. Everybody deserves to go to Daytone once

same thing with serious drag racing, it looks boring on TV but when you are there and actually see a 300mph Top Fuel pass in person and feel the cars shake the ground it's a completely different experience

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:47

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

City of Tampa posted:

Nascar is soooo much fun to watch in person, it's hard to describe unless you've actually been there. Everybody deserves to go to Daytone once

same thing with serious drag racing, it looks boring on TV but when you are there and actually see a 300mph Top Fuel pass in person and feel the cars shake the ground it's a completely different experience

A girl i went to high school with ended up getting a driver's slot in Funny Car for a bit. She never really got big or won anything huge, but I thought it was cool that she did it

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:48

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

NASCAR is a pretty sensory experience that you lose all of when watching on tv. you also cant observe the rest of the crowd nearly as well which is a better spectacle than the race.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:54

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

Nascar owns when they race on an actual road track which is like twice per year. I honestly am confused as to why 99% of the races are on a god drat donut. Like surely everyone agrees that road tracks own and are more entertaining to watch?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:58

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

City of Tampa posted:

Nascar is soooo much fun to watch in person

Actually that isn't true

# ? Apr 5, 2016 18:59

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

ROFLburger posted:

Nascar owns when they race on an actual road track which is like twice per year. I honestly am confused as to why 99% of the races are on a god drat donut. Like surely everyone agrees that road tracks own and are more entertaining to watch?

pretty sure it's cause the donut allows them to make a bigger stadium with more seating capacity therefore more money

# ? Apr 5, 2016 19:03

City of Tampa: May 6, 2007; by zen death robot

ROFLburger posted:

Nascar owns when they race on an actual road track which is like twice per year. I honestly am confused as to why 99% of the races are on a god drat donut. Like surely everyone agrees that road tracks own and are more entertaining to watch?

I disagree, speedway is better because the top speeds are faster and are maintained for a longer period of time

watching cars turn seems like it would be more enjoyable but really it isn't. We just had the Grand Prix of St. Petersburg here and there were Indy cars ripping it up through the streets of St. Pete, and as cool as it was it couldn't hold a candle to a Nascar speedway race

# ? Apr 5, 2016 19:05

No. 6: Jun 30, 2002

Delivery McGee posted:

And the announcers always made sure to mention him, no matter how far back he finished.

That's why they call 'em "stock cars". On the other hand, if an F1 car touches anything, it's done for the day. When a NASCAR Cup car crashes, if it still runs and drivers and the driver doesn't have a concussion, they slap it back together with speed tape and and get it back in the race.

It's been about 15 years since I was actually into it (now I just watch the restrictor-plate races for the wrecks), but the big thing is that they have to stop multiple times to refuel and change tires. Ideally there's a caution flag at about the right time so you can pit without losing a lap, but when things are going well and the tires are wearing thin, do you pit when everybody else does and possibly lose position and have to climb back up the ladder, or stay out another few laps and hope there's a wreck so you can pit without losing position? Pit early, make it up when the leaders pit, and hope your crew does better math on your gas mileage so you can make it to the end? People have lost races by leading the last lap and then run out of gas coming out of the last corner.

And then there's the drama on the track: because the cars are so similar, it's using the aerodynamics to your advantage that makes any one car faster -- you get as close as possible behind the car in front of you, the drag on both (car in front has reduced turbulence pulling on it from behind, car in back doesn't have to punch a hole in the air. Same reason geese fly in formation.) Then to pass, the car in back has to pop out and hit that wall of air full-force, so you do it on the low side coming out of the corner (because shorter distance and all) and stay as close as possible to keep as much of the other car's slipstream as they can, which is a matter of inches away, at 200mph, but if you get too close the car it takes the downforce off the back of the front car and the front of the back car, and one or both eat poo poo.

Or, in the case of the restrictor-plate tracks like Daytona and Talladega where they're more equal than usual (they were getting too fast to survive a wreck in the late '80s, so the really fast tracks they put a restrictor in the intake to cut power) and so tend to bunch up in big groups (e.g., two big Vs of geese instead of pairs or trios), starts a massive pileup that takes out half the field.

Sometimes there'll be two lines side-by-side, and the second in both tries to pass at the same time and they get four wide coming out of a corner onto a straight that's only wide enough for three. Who's gonna lift off the throttle? Or are they all going to expect somebody else to lift gently caress it up for everybody behind them?

The crew chiefs make all kinds of backroom deals to get a draft buddy when there aren't two cars from the same team right together. "Hey, if your guy promises not to take out/pass my guy, my guy'll do right by yours next time," sort of thing.

And then there's the tactic that if one car on a team is up near the front and one is hopelessly toward the back, the hopeless one will intentionally go a lap down in order to get in the way of the people in front of their teammate up front. Say, if Kevin Harvick is in 8th place and Danica Patrick is in 30th, Danica will slow down a bit until whoever's in fifth place needs to get around her, and then start racing him instead of the guy in 29th place, slowing him down and giving Harvick more chances to pass. ~~And then their boss Tony Stewart, who was in 13th, will just take out all three and win.~~

On another note, the color commentators on TV are retired drivers, and between being professional rednecks and having multiple head injuries over their careers, are loving hilarious. Like football commentators but using ridiculous Southern idioms.

E:

Go to your local dirt track, it's like $20, and get an even better experience. They're slower, but they're sideways half the time.

Bristol is fun though, it's short and high-banked.

Up until 1970, there was a 1/4-mile oval on the NASCAR schedule. Literally the flat running track around a high school football stadium. They should bring that back, it'd be loving brutal. (Its last season on the top-series schedule was the season they first broke 200mph at Talladega, btw).

poo poo still sucks

# ? Apr 5, 2016 19:15

mr_cramalldees: Dec 14, 2015; Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Delivery McGee posted:

And the announcers always made sure to mention him, no matter how far back he finished.

That's why they call 'em "stock cars". On the other hand, if an F1 car touches anything, it's done for the day. When a NASCAR Cup car crashes, if it still runs and drivers and the driver doesn't have a concussion, they slap it back together with speed tape and and get it back in the race.

It's been about 15 years since I was actually into it (now I just watch the restrictor-plate races for the wrecks), but the big thing is that they have to stop multiple times to refuel and change tires. Ideally there's a caution flag at about the right time so you can pit without losing a lap, but when things are going well and the tires are wearing thin, do you pit when everybody else does and possibly lose position and have to climb back up the ladder, or stay out another few laps and hope there's a wreck so you can pit without losing position? Pit early, make it up when the leaders pit, and hope your crew does better math on your gas mileage so you can make it to the end? People have lost races by leading the last lap and then run out of gas coming out of the last corner.

And then there's the drama on the track: because the cars are so similar, it's using the aerodynamics to your advantage that makes any one car faster -- you get as close as possible behind the car in front of you, the drag on both (car in front has reduced turbulence pulling on it from behind, car in back doesn't have to punch a hole in the air. Same reason geese fly in formation.) Then to pass, the car in back has to pop out and hit that wall of air full-force, so you do it on the low side coming out of the corner (because shorter distance and all) and stay as close as possible to keep as much of the other car's slipstream as they can, which is a matter of inches away, at 200mph, but if you get too close the car it takes the downforce off the back of the front car and the front of the back car, and one or both eat poo poo.

Or, in the case of the restrictor-plate tracks like Daytona and Talladega where they're more equal than usual (they were getting too fast to survive a wreck in the late '80s, so the really fast tracks they put a restrictor in the intake to cut power) and so tend to bunch up in big groups (e.g., two big Vs of geese instead of pairs or trios), starts a massive pileup that takes out half the field.

Sometimes there'll be two lines side-by-side, and the second in both tries to pass at the same time and they get four wide coming out of a corner onto a straight that's only wide enough for three. Who's gonna lift off the throttle? Or are they all going to expect somebody else to lift gently caress it up for everybody behind them?

The crew chiefs make all kinds of backroom deals to get a draft buddy when there aren't two cars from the same team right together. "Hey, if your guy promises not to take out/pass my guy, my guy'll do right by yours next time," sort of thing.

And then there's the tactic that if one car on a team is up near the front and one is hopelessly toward the back, the hopeless one will intentionally go a lap down in order to get in the way of the people in front of their teammate up front. Say, if Kevin Harvick is in 8th place and Danica Patrick is in 30th, Danica will slow down a bit until whoever's in fifth place needs to get around her, and then start racing him instead of the guy in 29th place, slowing him down and giving Harvick more chances to pass. ~~And then their boss Tony Stewart, who was in 13th, will just take out all three and win.~~

On another note, the color commentators on TV are retired drivers, and between being professional rednecks and having multiple head injuries over their careers, are loving hilarious. Like football commentators but using ridiculous Southern idioms.

E:

Go to your local dirt track, it's like $20, and get an even better experience. They're slower, but they're sideways half the time.

Bristol is fun though, it's short and high-banked.

Up until 1970, there was a 1/4-mile oval on the NASCAR schedule. Literally the flat running track around a high school football stadium. They should bring that back, it'd be loving brutal. (Its last season on the top-series schedule was the season they first broke 200mph at Talladega, btw).

That you for saving me the trouble of writing a worse version of your post.

Tbh the races are done a disservice on TV, they are very fun live. Spend the $40 on the radio headsets so you can listen to the teams communicate maneuvers and strategy, it adds a different dynamic to the experience.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 19:24

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

the thing about how it came from moonshine runners is kinda neat

# ? Apr 5, 2016 19:49

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Parallax Scroll posted:

the thing about how it came from moonshine runners is kinda neat

Tell me more

# ? Apr 5, 2016 19:51

revmoo: May 25, 2006; #basta

I did a writeup of a Sprint Cup race in AI a couple years back dunno if the pictures are still hosted.

Anyway we had VIP and got to hang on the track, in the winner's circle, pits, everything else. Brad Keslowski nearly ran me over. Basically had full access.

I had a freaking blast and I was wishing I could just chill with the commoners instead of being ushered from event to event. It's insanely fun. It happens a lot faster than what you see on TV, and there's a ton of stuff going on before and after the race. Would definitely go again.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 19:58

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Booblord Zagats posted:

NASCAR is boring as hell to watch but the amount of skill that the drivers have to be able to do near perfect laps within a few inches of everyone else is honestly impressive. While F1, LeMans, GT and other racing types are more fun to watch because they have better run ups, way more high risk passing and more challenging tracks, the amount of endurance, both mental and physical that is required by NASCAR drivers is phenomenal

Do they do drug testing in NASCAR? Like, I'd assume the drivers are all on meth or adderall or some poo poo.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:03

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Pawn 17 posted:

Do they do drug testing in NASCAR? Like, I'd assume the drivers are all on meth or adderall or some poo poo.

They do, but they're super hush-hush about violations according to legend

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:06

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Tell me more

uh i read a thing about it on the internet one time. something about guys who modified cars to go real fast so they could go faster than cops and deliver the illegal booze. and then porhibition ended and they still wanted to drive the fast cars so they invented nascar

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:12

Do it ironically: Jul 13, 2010; by Pragmatica

a lot of nascar events you get to bring your own beer, what the gently caress dont you understand about wearing a wife beater, old shorts, a cooler full of 50 lovely beers and sitting in the sun with your friends getting wasted

i understand that a lot more than a bunch of fedoras going to their local gaming shop to play MTG and eat doritos

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:14

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Do it ironically posted:

a lot of nascar events you get to bring your own beer, what the gently caress dont you understand about wearing a wife beater, old shorts, a cooler full of 50 lovely beers and sitting in the sun with your friends getting wasted

i understand that a lot more than a bunch of fedoras going to their local gaming shop to play MTG and eat doritos

Sitting out in the sun for long periods of time is a terrifying concept to me.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:17

Saga: Aug 17, 2009

Pawn 17 posted:

This is p cool. It reminds me of the tour de france that has a ton of strategy and depth under the surface if you know what to watch for and pay attention to. It gets really interesting.

However I would say that 99% of NASCAR viewers don't give a gently caress and are just there to get drunk and hopefully see some crashes.

This is also the continentals at cycle races. Have you not seen the television coverage? They're mostly there to get drunk and throw beer cans at riders of the wrong nationality.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:20

CRIP EATIN BREAD: Jun 24, 2002; Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T; Soiled Meat

thathonkey posted:

NASCAR is a pretty sensory experience that you lose all of when watching on tv. you also cant observe the rest of the crowd nearly as well which is a better spectacle than the race.

my gf is really into auto racing and she goes to the michigan international speedway race every year.

its weird the way they hand out tickets because you always get the same seats every year, so you're around the same people.

they were very happy w hen the guy who would take his shirt off, soak it in water, and wave it overhead spraying everyone nearby every year died.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:21

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Saga posted:

This is also the continentals at cycle races. Have you not seen the television coverage? They're mostly there to get drunk and throw beer cans at riders of the wrong nationality.

I didn't mean to imply that wasn't happening with cycling fans as well.

Some of the crowds standing on the side of the roads look like they just shambled out of their shacks in the countryside after downing whatever the European equivalent of moonshine is. Then they shout epithets at the riders or try to touch the ones they like lol.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:25

Boinks: Nov 24, 2003

NASCAR or Video games, which one is better?

NASCAR: Beer and dip
Video Games: Mt. Dew and Doritos
Winner: NASCAR

NASCAR: Average driver loses 10% of their body weight during a 400 mile race
Video Games: Average gamer gains 10% of their body weight during a new release weekend
Winner: NASCAR

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:26

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

nacsar is an e-sport

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:31

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

beer and dip fuckin owns

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:33

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:53

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Boinks is showing me the light

# ? Apr 5, 2016 20:37

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Would someone please explain NASCAR to me

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