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Corn Glizzy
Jun 28, 2007



LegoPirateNinja posted:

is that not standard practice for celebrities who pay for it

LegoPirateNinja posted:

is that not standard practice for celebrities who pay for it

No they just have them killed if they talk, like they're gonna fight some hooker in court lol

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Immortan
Jun 6, 2015

by Shine
Trump needs to start talking about this ASAP.

how me a frog
Feb 6, 2014
I would prolly like to gently caress attractive prostitutes, but that's not a thing I could prolly afford. I haven't made any enquiries tbh. Also I'm worried my gf might think I was a loser.

reallivedinosaur
Jun 13, 2012

Ogdober subrise! XDDD
It's cool the way the media sits on data leaks like this and Panama Papers and slowly filters the data out, that way they make sure we are focusing our rage on the real villains, who will magically all turn out to be people with the wrong politics.

Neutrino
Mar 8, 2006

Fallen Rib
Just because he used the services of a madam doesn't mean he hosed their ladies. He probably just hired them to treat him like a little boy and spank him while having a 12-inch black dildo rammed up his butt. You know, normal stuff.

AugmentedVision
Feb 17, 2011

by exmarx
gently caress that tonsil stone is so gross its giving me nightmares

Immortan
Jun 6, 2015

by Shine
I'm really curious as to why the MSM hasn't picked this up yet.

Locker Room Zubaz
Aug 8, 2006

:horse:
~*~THE SECRET OF THE MAGICAL CRYSTALS IS THAT I'M FUCKING TERRIBLE~*~

:horse:

Immortan posted:

I'm really curious as to why the MSM hasn't picked this up yet.

Gotta verify it because a libel suit is serious business, or maybe they want to keep it under wraps until the general so they can torpedo Cruz and coronate Bernie as king of the US

Wizzle
Jun 7, 2004

Most
Parochial
Poster


Locker Room Zubaz posted:

Gotta verify it because a libel suit is serious business, or maybe they want to keep it under wraps until the general so they can torpedo Cruz and coronate Bernie Hillary as king of the US

NObodiesGeek
Jun 14, 2003
I'm not shy, I just hate you.
How do they know that Cruz made the calls? Was he the only person in Texas at the time of the calls?
If this is true I'd image there'd be some recordings of the calls or videos or something somewhere other than a fax. But who cares anyway.

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

NObodiesGeek posted:

How do they know that Cruz made the calls? Was he the only person in Texas at the time of the calls?
If this is true I'd image there'd be some recordings of the calls or videos or something somewhere other than a fax. But who cares anyway.

Because there is only one person in Texas who requests pre-teen, lady-boy mulatto amputee prostitutes. That's Ted's thing.

Philthy
Jan 28, 2003

Pillbug

AugmentedVision posted:

gently caress that tonsil stone is so gross its giving me nightmares

I can't even see his face on TV without gagging now.

It's so loving disgusting.

Immortan
Jun 6, 2015

by Shine

Philthy posted:

I can't even see his face on TV without gagging now.

It's so loving disgusting.

Kia Soul Enthusias
May 9, 2004

zoom-zoom
Toilet Rascal
Was this a bunch of BS?

Nicodemus Dumps
Jan 9, 2006

Just chillin' in the sink

CharlesM posted:

Was this a bunch of BS?

I don't know CharlesM. I don't know.

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot

CharlesM posted:

Was this a bunch of BS?

Probably not. Theres been like 3 accusations of this poo poo in the past 4 months by different groups.

Nut to Butt
Apr 13, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

CharlesM posted:

Was this a bunch of BS?

Drink Cheerwine posted:

that's what i thought too, and hell, maybe it's true- but hey, check out this guy's website & blog

http://montgomeryblairsibley.com/

http://amoprobos.blogspot.com/

reallivedinosaur
Jun 13, 2012

Ogdober subrise! XDDD
They all gently caress prostitutes.

And kids.

And panama papers.

Don't worry CNN knows who the bad guys are.

reallivedinosaur
Jun 13, 2012

Ogdober subrise! XDDD
news just came in early: bad guys are everybody but Hilldawg

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord

FuhrerHat posted:

paris' walls worked really well historically.... theyre kind of famous for it....

he was referring to the maginot line, which failed spectacularly after the germans maneuvered around it

Hal_2005
Feb 23, 2007
derp.

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





He has to gently caress prostitutes, because he believes masturbation is wrong and immoral. Especially if you are using a sex toy, which he fought to have banned in Texas.

quote:

Texas had an interest in protecting “public morals,” maintaining “police-power interest,” and in “discouraging prurient interests in sexual gratification, combating the commercial sale of sex, and protecting minors.” Cruz’s brief also compared sex toy use to hiring a prostitute.

He also believes that masturbation is not protected by the constitution.

Ted Cruz posted:

[there] is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purpose unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.

:lol:

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Pawn 17 posted:

He has to gently caress prostitutes, because he believes masturbation is wrong and immoral. Especially if you are using a sex toy, which he fought to have banned in Texas.


He also believes that masturbation is not protected by the constitution.


:lol:

Honestly it's probably way less shameful to use a prostitute than it is to use a male sex toy

Egbert Souse
Nov 6, 2008



boom boom boom
Jun 28, 2012

by Shine
for some reason when I think of Ted Cruz having sex I just remember that scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 where leatherface pokes at a woman's crotch with a chainsaw

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot

Bet he had a vibrating butt plug in during this.

TEAH SYAG
Oct 2, 2009

by Lowtax
The simple act of a man touching his penis in order to urinate is unfortunately, gay.

extra stout
Feb 24, 2005

ISILDUR's ERR

TEAH SYAG posted:

The simple act of a man touching his penis in order to urinate is unfortunately, gay.

my need to urinate is being turned into a meme by idiots

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

TEAH SYAG posted:

The simple act of a man touching his penis in order to urinate is unfortunately, gay.

And don't you even think about soaping up your balls in the shower, you miserable human being!

Master J Plus
Apr 20, 2010

by Hand Knit
somebodys gotta bust his nut. why is it bad to get a nut busted???

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Master J Plus posted:

somebodys gotta bust his nut. why is it bad to get a nut busted???

The healthcare system should not have to assume the burden of your premature blindness and hairy palms.

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Ted goddamn Cruz gets more sex than me

:smith:

8-Bit Scholar
Jan 23, 2016

by FactsAreUseless

DOOP posted:

Ted goddamn Cruz gets more sex than me

:smith:

See, real sad sack goons just become politicians and get all the puss they want.

the american dream

Sancho
Jul 18, 2003

He takes the initiative and puts in the time & money. You too can be just as successful, sexually, as ted cruz & jon pop.

Egbert Souse
Nov 6, 2008

DOOP posted:

Ted goddamn Cruz gets more sex than me

:smith:

But you don't pad the numbers counting your hand

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
Dang ol hookers loooooove money

Nicodemus Dumps
Jan 9, 2006

Just chillin' in the sink

You guys are reading it all wrong. The hookers did it on a dare. This is why you always just say 'truth' and lie.

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
Can you really get elected in Texas on a platform of criminalizing masturbation? What the gently caress is wrong with people down there?

Egbert Souse
Nov 6, 2008

notZaar posted:

Can you really get elected in Texas on a platform of criminalizing masturbation? What the gently caress is wrong with people down there?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDdnI87xLVY

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That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord

Sancho posted:

He takes the initiative and puts in the time & money. You too can be just as successful, sexually, as ted cruz & jon pop.

lol where has jon pop been

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