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Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
Having found this evenings dvr'd sitcom episodes pedestrian, and derivative... I sit in my den, sipping fine scotch by my bookshelves and fireplace... Pondering.

Startled, I realize that "Only Childs" are soulless fucks who are pieces of poo poo.

I know 4 people who are "Only Childs" (henceforth "OC's"). These "OC's" that I know are a bunch of selfish weirdo turds. Extrapolating this data and applying it to all "OC's" yields the unquestioned truth that all "OC's" are soulless fucks who are pieces of poo poo.

If you are an only child, gently caress you.

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symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

i'm the oldest child and as a result i have crippling self-doubt and inner turmoil from years of being forced to succeed and be the best, most perfect child :downs:

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Dave_Indeed posted:


If you are an only child, gently caress you.

Hey, gently caress you too!

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Dave_Indeed posted:

Having found this evenings dvr'd sitcom episodes pedestrian, and derivative... I sit in my den, sipping fine scotch by my bookshelves and fireplace... Pondering.

Startled, I realize that "Only Childs" are soulless fucks who are pieces of poo poo.

I know 4 people who are "Only Childs" (henceforth "OC's"). These "OC's" that I know are a bunch of selfish weirdo turds. Extrapolating this data and applying it to all "OC's" yields the unquestioned truth that all "OC's" are soulless fucks who are pieces of poo poo.

If you are an only child, gently caress you.

i don't know about soulless, but conceded, and selfish

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


me and my brother agree, op

AugmentedVision
Feb 17, 2011

by exmarx
sorry your parents only love you 50% or less OP

drunk dog
Apr 6, 2014

Resident Millennial
middle children are selfish

rio
Mar 20, 2008

I am an OC and you are right

rio
Mar 20, 2008

My dad apparently didn't want my mom's body to get worse so I'm the only one lol

drunk dog
Apr 6, 2014

Resident Millennial
im the 'baby'

AugmentedVision
Feb 17, 2011

by exmarx

rio posted:

My dad apparently didn't want my mom's body to get worse so I'm the only one lol

personally I think ur moms body is just fine

drunk dog
Apr 6, 2014

Resident Millennial

rio posted:

My dad apparently didn't want my mom's body to get worse so I'm the only one lol

apparently creating me was worth it to mine

Snooze Cruise
Feb 16, 2013

hey look,
a post
Mormons are the most spiritual people i know

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

rio posted:

I am an OC and you are right

Keep Autism Wired
Feb 22, 2009

Kristen Schaal Lub Club
soul talk is heavy

that takes gravitas

drunk dog
Apr 6, 2014

Resident Millennial
on second thought this thread title is a little offensive mods?

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



Ogoc itt qtiyd

drunk dog
Apr 6, 2014

Resident Millennial
i kind of regret shitposting in here.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
just ran your gimble numbers by my NASA eggheads, your logic checks out, OP

they are also 90% more likely to contract the deadly AIDS virus according to these AIDS infected "eggheads" ( more like AIDSheads am i rite?)

Vince MechMahon
Jan 1, 2008



As an "OC" I can confirm this is true.

feller
Jul 5, 2006


OCs understand how apostrophes work you piece of poo poo

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost
real talk: all the only children I ever met were either home schooled or spoiled as hell.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
I'm an only child and was spoiled but there was another only child down the street who was even more spoiled like 10 times so it was pretty incredible. That guy was an rear end in a top hat but had awesome toys so everyone tolerated him.

drunk dog
Apr 6, 2014

Resident Millennial

drunk dog posted:

i kind of regret shitposting in here.

also being born

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

drunk dog posted:

also being born

Each life is a gift, dd, even yours

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Hector Beerlioz posted:

I'm an only child and was spoiled but there was another only child down the street who was even more spoiled like 10 times so it was pretty incredible. That guy was an rear end in a top hat but had awesome toys so everyone tolerated him.

some of them were habitual liars too. I had a friend in high school who tried to tell us he was asked to be on the Jerry Springer show, but he couldn't show us the tape. The weirdest part is, we were already his friend. We would hang out with him if he asked us.

Digital Fingers
Sep 2, 2012

I have two older brothers and when i was 9 they used to put me in boston crabs and toss me in this wooden bench/storage chest when my mom wasn't home and sit on it while laughing at me for 20 minutes

builds character i say

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

some of them were habitual liars too. I had a friend in high school who tried to tell us he was asked to be on the Jerry Springer show, but he couldn't show us the tape. The weirdest part is, we were already his friend. We would hang out with him if he asked us.

Yeah, he'd make poo poo up too

Raar_Im_A_Dinosaur
Mar 16, 2006

GOOD LUCK!!
I dunno, I'm an only child and my self esteem sucks just enough that I'm relatable, maybe it's cuz I was also raised by a single mother and have abandonment issues?

Happy Bear Suit
Jul 21, 2004

its not the kids fault

its the weirdo parents

Doppelganger
Oct 11, 2002

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
I'm glad I have a sibling because otherwise I'd have nobody to pay for my psychiatric treatment.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Raar_Im_A_Dinosaur posted:

I dunno, I'm an only child and my self esteem sucks just enough that I'm relatable, maybe it's cuz I was also raised by a single mother and have abandonment issues?


Happy Bear Suit posted:

its not the kids fault

its the weirdo parents

Erethizon_dorsatum
Nov 14, 2009
my dad is an oc and he's weird af. checks out.

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012
every only child i met was a stupid rear end in a top hat

LiterallyAnything
Jul 11, 2008

by vyelkin
I am an only child and I agree with the OP.

Raar_Im_A_Dinosaur
Mar 16, 2006

GOOD LUCK!!

Darkman Fanpage posted:

every only child i met was a stupid rear end in a top hat

If everyone's an rear end in a top hat, maybe you're the rear end in a top hat buddy!

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Raar_Im_A_Dinosaur posted:

If everyone's an rear end in a top hat, maybe you're the rear end in a top hat buddy!

im an rear end in a top hat buddy

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

AugmentedVision posted:

sorry your parents only love you 50% or less OP

drunk dog
Apr 6, 2014

Resident Millennial
my rear end in a top hat is an rear end in a top hat but i dont post about it on the internet

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Doppelganger
Oct 11, 2002

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Erethizon_dorsatum posted:

my dad is an oc and he's weird af. checks out.
My parents both had at least 4 siblings, and they're both objectively "the normal one" of their brood.

Meanwhile my sister is a doctor and I have court on monday, so who the gently caress knows?

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