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Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Iron Prince posted:

im an only child and all i gotta say is gently caress op

An "OC's" would say something like that too you little spoiled bitch boy. Fight me.

Also, I've just found out that Lenny Kravitz and Lance Armstrong are both "OC's".

You've gone too far now "OC's", now you hosed up.

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GORDON
Jan 1, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

Dave_Indeed posted:

Having found this evenings dvr'd sitcom episodes pedestrian, and derivative... I sit in my den, sipping fine scotch by my bookshelves and fireplace... Pondering.

Startled, I realize that "Only Childs" are soulless fucks who are pieces of poo poo.

I know 4 people who are "Only Childs" (henceforth "OC's"). These "OC's" that I know are a bunch of selfish weirdo turds. Extrapolating this data and applying it to all "OC's" yields the unquestioned truth that all "OC's" are soulless fucks who are pieces of poo poo.

If you are an only child, gently caress you.

My 10yo is an OC, I shall advise him of his new status as soulless gently caress.

Keep Autism Wired
Feb 22, 2009

Kristen Schaal Lub Club
sounds like our future chinese overlords won't have that pesky soul problem to inhibit their drive towards greatness

Navin Johnson
Mar 1, 2016

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Hey, gently caress you too!

Also, nice sample size. JFC four? Excellent logic.

Navin Johnson
Mar 1, 2016

I am happy for you OP. I am glad you have siblings. Now I can gently caress your brothers and sisters as well as your mom and dad.

A CISHET SHITLORD
Sep 10, 2014

LOURDE OF THE SHITS
Pillbug
That's why after we accidentally had our first kid, we felt obligated to put another bun in his mama's oven. I'm not going to be responsible for bringing another OC shitbag into the world.

A CISHET SHITLORD
Sep 10, 2014

LOURDE OF THE SHITS
Pillbug
Of course I'm already responsible for spreading my bad and gay genes, so on balance it should all even out??

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon
im an oc and my father was an oc, what does that make me.

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

thathonkey posted:

Arent you like 13
yes

Acres of Quakers
May 6, 2006

Kurtofan posted:

im an oc and my father was an oc, what does that make me.

Genetic dead end.

Keep Autism Wired posted:

sounds like our future chinese overlords won't have that pesky soul problem to inhibit their drive towards greatness

It's also white people sometimes.

Escape_GOAT
May 20, 2004

I know an OC who literally wants to have sex with his mother. He has tried to peek in on her when she is getting dressed. He took photos of her when she was in a dressing room at a store by sliding his phone under the dressing room door. He has sneaked into her bed at night and tried to spoon with her. He also watches porn of guys loving cats and speaks openly about it.

Sick little gently caress. I hope he gets a lobotomy.

TremorX
Jan 19, 2001

All Hail Big Hairy Mike

I'm OC and I hate myself the appropriate amount

subhuman filth
Nov 1, 2006

Paging every Asian on sa

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.

Navin Johnson posted:

I am happy for you OP. I am glad you have siblings. Now I can gently caress your brothers and sisters as well as your mom and dad.

Gobblecoque
Sep 6, 2011
Same, except everyone is a soulless gently caress who is a piece of poo poo so you're theory kind of sucks op? maybe you are an oc?

Light Gun Man
Oct 17, 2009

toEjaM iS oN
vaCatioN




Lipstick Apathy
I was an only child but at one point my mom married some dude for awhile who had partial custody of his three kids so I had three step-siblings for like a year or something does that mean I'm cured?

Hrist
Feb 21, 2011


Lipstick Apathy
I'm an only child because my mom hated me even before I was born. And I'm pretty sure if she had another pregnancy she would have outright made them suffer until they aborted themselves.

Also I might have a half-sister or something who knows I'm living on the edge when it comes to my life as an OC

Moongrave
Jun 19, 2004

Finally Living Rent Free
I'm the second child and a useless sack of poo poo while my older brother is cool and successful

Hope this helps you in some way, OP

Glad to see a man of science researching this

Moola
Aug 16, 2006
OP is correct

OCs are cunts

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Dave_Indeed posted:

Having found this evenings dvr'd sitcom episodes pedestrian, and derivative... I sit in my den, sipping fine scotch by my bookshelves and fireplace... Pondering.

Startled, I realize that "Only Childs" are soulless fucks who are pieces of poo poo.

I know 4 people who are "Only Childs" (henceforth "OC's"). These "OC's" that I know are a bunch of selfish weirdo turds. Extrapolating this data and applying it to all "OC's" yields the unquestioned truth that all "OC's" are soulless fucks who are pieces of poo poo.

If you are an only child, gently caress you.

:unsmith:

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Kurtofan posted:

im an oc and my father was an oc, what does that make me.

A soulless gently caress who is a piece of poo poo.

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
I'm a middle child and my parents forgot about me until I was 8 years old

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


my parents regretted having me because they had already started filling out the paperwork to adopt a little chinese girl and were really excited about it and i just didn't look as good in a little red dress and parasol

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

i had brothers but I killed them

I guess that makes me an OC

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

i had brothers but I killed them

I guess that makes me an OC

more like OG

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

There is no such thing as a soul, OP. The soul is simply ancients man's primitive attempt to explain consciousness. We are nothing but meat.

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
hosed up older brother checking in

CrazyLoon
Aug 10, 2015

"..."

Dave_Indeed posted:

If you are an only child, gently caress you.

I dunno OP. My sister-in-law's only child is a pretty amazing human being, even tho she's in her late teens. And to my knowledge she's had lots of boyfriends, who probably regularly hosed her so...I guess I don't see any problem.

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

i want all my amateur parent's attention its always positive experience and it will be great when i get the insurance check for those "final expenses"

lol this was worth not having to SHARE my TOYS

Utz
Aug 1, 2008

by vyelkin

Dave_Indeed posted:

Having found this evenings dvr'd sitcom episodes pedestrian, and derivative... I sit in my den, sipping fine scotch by my bookshelves and fireplace... Pondering.

Startled, I realize that "Only Childs" are soulless fucks who are pieces of poo poo.

I know 4 people who are "Only Childs" (henceforth "OC's"). These "OC's" that I know are a bunch of selfish weirdo turds. Extrapolating this data and applying it to all "OC's" yields the unquestioned truth that all "OC's" are soulless fucks who are pieces of poo poo.

If you are an only child, gently caress you.

You're a real piece of poo poo, OP. I've never seen you make a post where you're not bragging about your possessions and exposing the emptiness inside yourself.

Go gently caress yourself, seriously.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
my partner is an OC, and description checks out

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
im trying to think of some OCs that i know. yeah they are mostly not great people imo compared to the non-OCs on avg. some are outright terrible. theory fuckin checks out ....

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
she's an OC from the OC, so turd alert doubled down

Dicere
Oct 31, 2005
Non plaudite modo pecuniam jacite.

I know some people who legitimately subscribe to this line of thinking despite there being no clinical evidence to support it. How sad must your life be that you can only claim superiority for poo poo you didn't even have control over?

Dicere
Oct 31, 2005
Non plaudite modo pecuniam jacite.

It's all part of the misery contest everyone is constantly competing in. I had to share my toys as a kid and wasn't my parents' sole focus so I'm thereof better and more well adjusted than someone who didn't have to deal with that. My parents were lovely to me, so I'm stronger than people who grew up in normal homes. I grew up poor and so I'm worth more than someone born into the middle class. I'm going to otherize everyone who didn't share in my struggles because I don't have poo poo else going for me.

All of this poo poo is for people who are comfortable letting their circumstances define them. How you grew up is important and can shape you a lot, but, barring horrid brainwashing and abuse, a person gets to make a few decisions in life whether or not to be a garbage person, and nobody/nothing else can make it for them.

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Utz posted:

You're a real piece of poo poo, OP. I've never seen you make a post where you're not bragging about your possessions and exposing the emptiness inside yourself.

Go gently caress yourself, seriously.

Fight me you little bitch.

Digital Fingers
Sep 2, 2012

Utz posted:

You're a real piece of poo poo, OP. I've never seen you make a post where you're not bragging about your possessions and exposing the emptiness inside yourself.

Go gently caress yourself, seriously.

:cry::cry::cry::

Dicere posted:

It's all part of the misery contest everyone is constantly competing in. I had to share my toys as a kid and wasn't my parents' sole focus so I'm thereof better and more well adjusted than someone who didn't have to deal with that. My parents were lovely to me, so I'm stronger than people who grew up in normal homes. I grew up poor and so I'm worth more than someone born into the middle class. I'm going to otherize everyone who didn't share in my struggles because I don't have poo poo else going for me.

All of this poo poo is for people who are comfortable letting their circumstances define them. How you grew up is important and can shape you a lot, but, barring horrid brainwashing and abuse, a person gets to make a few decisions in life whether or not to be a garbage person, and nobody/nothing else can make it for them.

:cry::cry::cry:

I never really believed single children were really trash but now i do; Based off these two posts, which has convinced me, I, poster Digital Fingers, that they are indeed -thats right- "trash"

Digital Fingers
Sep 2, 2012

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Digital Fingers posted:

:cry::cry::cry::


:cry::cry::cry:

I never really believed single children were really trash but now i do; Based off these two posts, which has convinced me, I, poster Digital Fingers, that they are indeed -thats right- "trash"

"OC's" like Utz and Dicere can't handle the realization that they are less than perfect as it is contrary to what their parents have told them (while breastfeeding into adulthood). You are taking this idea like a champ and you should discuss it with your parents when you call them tonight.

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MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015



is this girth or distance from butthole to tip because either way I'm feeling a little inadequate rn

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