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ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
It's getting to be springtime and over the past 6 months i have gained about 30 lbs and four inches around my waist leading to my current predicament. It's starting to be spring at that means it's time to update my wardrobe!

I was in my closet this afternoon trying to put on pants and nearly 3/4 of them didn't fit. I went looking aorund and realized that I have only bought a couple pairs of pants and a couple shirts for myself in the past three or four years. Everything else has been gifts or freebie giveaways at college.

Here's what I have so far to work with:

3 ties
One authentic black leather belt.

(will update with pics of what is in my shopping cart)







I'm an amazon prime member and deathly afraid of leaving the house. I am not a responsible adult so I need some help here.

ChrisHansen fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Apr 12, 2016

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ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy

ROFLburger posted:

can we stop at the toilet store?

I do need new shoes! Thanks!

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
I'm also ISO (in search of) stylish adult diapers, on account of my severe lactose inteolerance and love of fine cheeses

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy

A ILL BREAKFAST posted:



you can also find pretty good deals on leather dusters if you shop around

grabbing these for the OP, I'm gonna look so cool!

Now i just need a few more things, like one of those wallets with an extra long chain made of little skulls

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
well, it looks like i was logged in to my work gmail account while i was looking up "stylish adult diapers" and "toilet shoes"

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
If there's a tailor out there, I can give you my measurements

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
I been trying to get with the VA for a couple years now. It's not like I could do worse than how they're doing things!

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
I found some swimsuits and this one look real good. Just imagine it on a younger, fatter danny devito and that's me

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy

MiracleWhale posted:

look at the bright side, you can probably go down slides real fast with all that lube

I like your posting, but you clearly have not taken part in an obstacle course designed for children with diarrhea streaming down the back of your legs.

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ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
I was at target but I got distracted and didn't buy any clothes. I didn't even have time to browse their graphic tees.

Are they supposed to be ironic or is there really a big market for tshirts with soda logos?

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