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I'm visiting the UK for about ten days. First London. Then the Midlands. Then London again. Any tips for my trip? List of things I fear: -shopping malls -being underground -ghasts -??? I'm bringing: -good shoes -a raincoat -a winning attitude Thank you.
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Apr 17, 2016 13:14
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 06:45 |
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you're a pedophile now sorry op
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Apr 17, 2016 13:22
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dont go to the midlands op wtf is wrong with you
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Apr 17, 2016 13:24
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Come to my house for definitely not murder
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Apr 17, 2016 13:28
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why would you want to visit the uk? I'm being 100% serious, the whole place sucks and London is one of the worst cities in the world
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Apr 17, 2016 13:33
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XMNN posted:dont go to the midlands op wtf is wrong with you No choice. Sorry friend. vols bitch posted:you're a pedophile now sorry op I heard something about pig heads though?? Wowbagger2004 posted:Come to my house for definitely not murder OK as long as you promise. Should I bring my metal detector to look for druid gold?
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Apr 17, 2016 13:35
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Make sure you say yes if someone offers you a jammie dodger it's the height of rudeness to refuse
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Apr 17, 2016 13:37
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Make sure you eat crumpets with marmite for breakfast
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Apr 17, 2016 13:38
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People are gonna know you're from out of town if you have a good attitude.
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Apr 17, 2016 13:38
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when you are in the midlands go to BIRDS THE CONFECTIONERS and buy any cake or pastry
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Apr 17, 2016 13:40
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unless you're arriving from mogadishu, be prepared for really lovely living/housing conditions, the average brit lives in a small, shoddily constructed, smelly carpeted allergen nirvana some king probably killed all skilled craftsmen at some point, if grover moved there he would be making insulated staircases for the queen within a week
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Apr 17, 2016 13:40
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There are no guns in the UK so if you do that thing where you pretend your hand is a gun everyone gets frightened and will do your bidding
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Apr 17, 2016 13:43
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also in the midlands tell people you meet that they look really mardy today
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Apr 17, 2016 13:45
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UK fact list: - The English have yet to discover a technology known as double pane windows - All English houses must have a window above the kitchen sink - In the morning children like to play a game of "jump the vomit" on the streets. You should also play this game to protect your shoes or "knacks" as they say in the UK. - English houses are built poorly next to major railways so they gently vibrate during the night. Foreigners may find this uncomfortable at first but the brits can't sleep without it. - Every drink and food in the UK has tons of grease because on average 65% of the human body is made of fat.
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Apr 17, 2016 13:49
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When in London, avoid eating in an Angus Steakhouse. They're this strange 70's throwback that survives on the custom of disoriented foreign tourists who assume it's a safe eating choice. And I'd like to know why you need to go to the Midlands as well: literally the worst part of the uk.
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Apr 17, 2016 13:58
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I'm filling my notebook here!
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Apr 17, 2016 13:58
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Pistol_Pete posted:When in London, avoid eating in an Angus Steakhouse. They're this strange 70's throwback that survives on the custom of disoriented foreign tourists who assume it's a safe eating choice. What's wrong with the Midlands? I've never been so I'm genuinely curious.
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Apr 17, 2016 14:01
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King of Bees posted:What's wrong with the Midlands? I've never been so I'm genuinely curious. It's dead and depressing and has no proper jobs. Admittedly, I grew up there and fled the area for the bright lights of the South-East, so I may be a little prejudiced.
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Apr 17, 2016 14:05
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King of Bees posted:What's wrong with the Midlands? I've never been so I'm genuinely curious. it is a wasteland between the good bits
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Apr 17, 2016 14:07
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King of Bees posted:What's wrong with the Midlands? I've never been so I'm genuinely curious. its filled with people from the midlands
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Apr 17, 2016 14:09
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Pistol_Pete posted:It's dead and depressing and has no proper jobs. Ah. My ninety year old former UK Navy sailor grandfather in law lives there and we're visiting him because he is awesome and hilarious. My wife is British and loathes the UK as does her whole family. Grandpa is the only family that remains there. Everyone else is all over the world. I really want good fish and chips and a full English breakfast. Where should we acquire these?
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Apr 17, 2016 14:14
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"Im going to the UK and i'm visiting *only places in england*" good job racist.
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Apr 17, 2016 14:15
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Svartvit posted:"Im going to the UK and i'm visiting *only places in england*" good job racist.
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Apr 17, 2016 14:17
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King of Bees posted:I really want good fish and chips and a full English breakfast. Where should we acquire these? Any country in the world except the uk
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Apr 17, 2016 14:19
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UK fact list 2 - in the UK all measurement systems are equally valid. This can be highly confusing to anyone who has not grown up in a prison colony - Most brits are left handed which has also caused them to drive on the left side of the road. - The queen is the undemocratic supreme leader of the country and all englishmen must swear loyalty to her. - Throughout history the brits have made numerous attempts to make their own cars. Generally you should wear a helmet and a protective vest when around or in them.
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Apr 17, 2016 14:19
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Has Space Jam been released there yet?
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Apr 17, 2016 14:23
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King of Bees posted:Has Space Jam been released there yet? Only the dubbed version
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Apr 17, 2016 14:25
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kikkelivelho posted:Only the dubbed version Is it voiced by benidict Cumberland and Daniel Craig? 
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Apr 17, 2016 14:28
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Go to Stoke-on-Trent. It's a marvellous city full of beauty that could make a man weep tears of joy.
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Apr 17, 2016 14:31
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King of Bees posted:I really want good fish and chips and a full English breakfast. Where should we acquire these?
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Apr 17, 2016 14:31
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London is complete loving poo poo. Go to the peak district, dartmoor or the yorkshire dales or something.
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Apr 17, 2016 14:33
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kikkelivelho posted:UK fact list:
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Apr 17, 2016 14:43
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read Daily Mail from cover to cover every day, periodically tutting and saying "unbelievable"
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Apr 17, 2016 14:53
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things to do as an american in the uk: - say the words 'wanker' and 'tosser' a lot because it's really funny when americans do that - try a kinder surprise egg because it is the forbidden treat. attempt to smuggle as many as you can back to america where you can sell them for incredible profits and live like a king - try not to laugh at the accents you hear in the midlands. it's pretty much impossible but try your best - try real beer and please don't be alarmed that it isn't served at one degree celsius - eat as much curry as possible because it is the national dish. it should be as spicy as possible.
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Apr 17, 2016 15:03
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congratulations on going to a country where you don't have to walk in a zig-zag motion to avoid being shot
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Apr 17, 2016 15:05
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PEPSI for TV-GAME
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Worldshatter posted:congratulations on going to a country where you don't have to walk in a zig-zag motion to avoid being shot Tell people that the USA is literally this dangerous if they ask. Say you've been shot multiple times and hold up your shirt to show them. Tell them you don't have scars because our bodies are so used to being shot, they heal without a trace. Tell them you've killed before like it is no big deal.
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Apr 17, 2016 15:12
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5qPHsvGMQI
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Apr 17, 2016 15:16
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Watch where the blokes in high-viz jackets go in the morning to locate the finest greasy spoon full english breakfast providers, for they hold this sacred knowledge.
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Apr 17, 2016 15:17
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Britain is the Dark Souls of countries. It's gray and miserable and everyone wants to stab you and the people who run the country actively want you to die, but some people like the challenge so whatever.
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Apr 17, 2016 15:21
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 06:45 |
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Quote-Unquote posted:things to do as an american in the uk: By spicy do you mean hot like American spicy or spicy like a slurry of all spices in the cupboard like Indian style (which I hate)? What real beer would you recommend? various cheeses posted:Tell people that the USA is literally this dangerous if they ask. Say you've been shot multiple times and hold up your shirt to show them. Tell them you don't have scars because our bodies are so used to being shot, they heal without a trace. Tell them you've killed before like it is no big deal. I'll bring a picture of my .357 and tell folks it's my daily carry. dog days are over posted:Watch where the blokes in high-viz jackets go in the morning to locate the finest greasy spoon full english breakfast providers, for they hold this sacred knowledge. Thank you!
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Apr 17, 2016 15:39
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