Visiting the UK

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Visiting the UK

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

I'm visiting the UK for about ten days. First London. Then the Midlands. Then London again. Any tips for my trip?

List of things I fear:
-shopping malls
-being underground
-ghasts
-???

I'm bringing:
-good shoes
-a raincoat
-a winning attitude

Thank you.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 13:14

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 01:56

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

XMNN posted:

dont go to the midlands op wtf is wrong with you

No choice. Sorry friend.

vols bitch posted:

you're a pedophile now sorry op

I heard something about pig heads though??

Wowbagger2004 posted:

Come to my house for definitely not murder

OK as long as you promise.

Should I bring my metal detector to look for druid gold?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 13:35

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

I'm filling my notebook here!

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 13:58

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Pistol_Pete posted:

When in London, avoid eating in an Angus Steakhouse. They're this strange 70's throwback that survives on the custom of disoriented foreign tourists who assume it's a safe eating choice.

And I'd like to know why you need to go to the Midlands as well: literally the worst part of the uk.

What's wrong with the Midlands? I've never been so I'm genuinely curious.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 14:01

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Pistol_Pete posted:

It's dead and depressing and has no proper jobs.

Admittedly, I grew up there and fled the area for the bright lights of the South-East, so I may be a little prejudiced.

Ah. My ninety year old former UK Navy sailor grandfather in law lives there and we're visiting him because he is awesome and hilarious. My wife is British and loathes the UK as does her whole family. Grandpa is the only family that remains there. Everyone else is all over the world.

I really want good fish and chips and a full English breakfast. Where should we acquire these?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 14:14

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Svartvit posted:

"Im going to the UK and i'm visiting *only places in england*" good job racist.

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 14:17

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Has Space Jam been released there yet?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 14:23

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

kikkelivelho posted:

Only the dubbed version

Is it voiced by benidict Cumberland and Daniel Craig? :allears:

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 14:28

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Quote-Unquote posted:

things to do as an american in the uk:

- say the words 'wanker' and 'tosser' a lot because it's really funny when americans do that
- try a kinder surprise egg because it is the forbidden treat. attempt to smuggle as many as you can back to america where you can sell them for incredible profits and live like a king
- try not to laugh at the accents you hear in the midlands. it's pretty much impossible but try your best
- try real beer and please don't be alarmed that it isn't served at one degree celsius
- eat as much curry as possible because it is the national dish. it should be as spicy as possible.

By spicy do you mean hot like American spicy or spicy like a slurry of all spices in the cupboard like Indian style (which I hate)?

What real beer would you recommend?

various cheeses posted:

Tell people that the USA is literally this dangerous if they ask. Say you've been shot multiple times and hold up your shirt to show them. Tell them you don't have scars because our bodies are so used to being shot, they heal without a trace. Tell them you've killed before like it is no big deal.

I'll bring a picture of my .357 and tell folks it's my daily carry.

dog days are over posted:

Watch where the blokes in high-viz jackets go in the morning to locate the finest greasy spoon full english breakfast providers, for they hold this sacred knowledge.

Thank you!

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 15:39

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

jBrereton posted:

fwiw Americans who come here not liking indian food usually a) end up having to eat it because most of our other food is poo poo, and b) end up really liking it, because it's apparently much better than what you guys get over there.

Is it better than the poo poo they serve in India? Cause I had the same notion that I might really like Indian food but was getting crap here. Then I stayed in India for a while and found out I didn't like it there either. I will give it a shot though.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 18:43

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Forward Toward posted:

Exceptions to poo poo British food: cheese, beer and Sunday roast.

EAT ALL OF OUR FINEST CHEESE OP.

I will eat any fancy cheese I see!

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 18:45

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

XMNN posted:

the museums and art galleries are good the rest is not

We're going to catch the Natural History museum for sure. My wife hasn't been back in so long she's trying to remember things to even do around London.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 18:47

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

gender illusionist posted:

london is actually good, just go to the right bits.
Where in the midlands are you going?

Somewhere around Leicester.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 19:40

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

XMNN posted:

also dont go to wetherspoons unless the only other alternatives have flat rooves (you will get stabbed in the pubs with the flat rooves)

I asked my wife about Weatherspoon and she said it was basically like Applebee's from she could remember. The whole "neighborhood bar" thing but massive chain.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 20:26

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

XMNN posted:

goondolences

I probably couldve put any name there and still got this right?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 20:26

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Why so stabby? Should I pack my killin' knife?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 20:53

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Can I get an Arnold Palmer anywhere or is the iced tea part completely unfathomable?

Thanks for all the good advice so far. I'll say fanny as much as possible too.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 21:35

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Maoist Pussy posted:

What kind of pills can I get at the farmacia?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 21:36

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Can I get a ham and pineapple pizza in London?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 21:44

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

So much stabby. Here we just shoot people. Much more efficient.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2016 22:56

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Should I get a chip butty?

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 00:21

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Scientastic posted:

DON'T TALK TO PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW. I know you Americans think that everyone loves to chat, but only completely loving crazy people talk to strangers here. This is doubly true on public transport.

My experience as an American is that most people here hate social interaction of any kind. And we shoot each other. And public transport is a good place to shoot or be shot.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 00:37

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

symbolic posted:

is it true all British people like Iron Maiden, and if not, why not

This

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 00:43

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Gaz2k21 posted:

I am British and I don't like them despite seeing them live twice (and most likely a third time in june).

Eddie lives man

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 00:45

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

King of Bees posted:

Eddie lives man

Run to the hills is an apt description of American and British culture.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 00:46

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

King of Bees posted:

Run to the hills is an apt description of American and British culture.

But I think it's mostly about British shame.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 00:47

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

King of Bees posted:

But I think it's mostly about British shame.

An emotion we do not feel.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 00:48

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Serious Frolicking posted:

the uk is one giant bog so you may want to take some wading boots along

I've heard this! So I'll be wearing my fly fishing chest waders at all times. And a "natty" tie.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 03:14

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

What's a cheap prepaid sim I can get there so I can continue to shitpost?

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 13:57

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

How many scarves should I pack? I've already packed three so far.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 14:28

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

I'm not really sure what the itinerary is in the Midlands except that many family members are coming from all over the planet to visit this old codger on his 90th. I expect my typical Russian levels of vodka consumption training will come in handy at various points.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 14:36

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Nation posted:

pfft i dont wanna meet you anyway

Wait I was answering your post! I don't know what the plan is!

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 14:37

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

CabaretVoltaire posted:

The midlands is ok but be careful in Nottingham.

it's run by the Yardies and is the home of UK gun crime and bum rape. the city centre seems nice enough and it's great for gigs but you're taking serious risks going there after 6pm.

Is it worse than the proud industrial city of Detroit Michigan? What's a Yardie?

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 14:40

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Just gonna bring all the scarves. Like fifteen.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 14:49

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

I'm going to try this English Indian food and if I still don't like it then can I truly say I dont like Indian food? Or will I need to try another countries variant of it before I can really say that? Gonna give it an honest shot too.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 14:52

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

I want to check out Fergus Henderson's joint St. John's and eat some trotters.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 15:01

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

don't come here

if you have to come to england just do whatever you have to do and leave without touching anything or talking to anyone

use the time you saved to go somewhere good

Yeah, I've been almost everywhere in the world but have never had a really compelling reason to visit England until now. Really expecting it to big just more of a big family gathering that happens to be taking place in the Midlands with a day or three in London to gently caress around on.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 15:18

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Nation posted:

that and give the bum a tickle

Any bum?

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 18:49

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Listen up, I just practiced sayimg this: "Oh that's cheeky!"

What do you think? I leave in a few hours. I think I'm ready.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 19:11

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 01:56

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Last chance: bring cowboy hat, bolo and snakeskins? Back 2Back World War Winners T-shirt?

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 20:09

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Visiting the UK

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