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I love my alive straight son.
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Apr 19, 2016 02:05
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I ficked my mom
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Apr 19, 2016 02:47
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The Rage posted:I ficked my mom i tried this too but i accidentally yelled out "oh dad!" when i came
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Apr 19, 2016 02:49
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaJMRxJkcKo
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Apr 19, 2016 02:49
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I'm going to assume my kids are gay until they come out as straight.
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Apr 19, 2016 03:22
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MiracleWhale posted:i tried this too but i accidentally yelled out "oh dad!" when i came I yelled "dang daddy I must have got my dick from mom's side cause this cooter's tight as a 12 year old!" I popped my but right inside but it's OK because mom went on safari in Africa and they burned her clit off with a hot stick so now she can't get pregnant or stds.
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Apr 19, 2016 03:36
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criscodisco posted:I yelled "dang daddy I must have got my dick from mom's side cause this cooter's tight as a 12 year old!" I popped my but right inside but it's OK because mom went on safari in Africa and they burned her clit off with a hot stick so now she can't get pregnant or stds. <studio audience laughs uproariously> <brady bunch end credits roll>
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Apr 19, 2016 03:38
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Realtalk: My parents were always really worried that I didn't show the females around myself enough attention and tried multiple times to give me the "We accept you no matter what" speech. It was all bullshit; I've had a million problems that have been a thousand times easier to deal with than "Mom I am batting for the other team" and she cut and ran at the first opportunity. Bitch wanted a gay child.
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Apr 19, 2016 03:39
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Lol, I won't accept no matter what and that kid better come out straight or all choice will be removed with a hot butter knife
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Apr 19, 2016 03:40
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TEAH SYAG posted:Lol, I won't accept no matter what and that kid better come out straight or all choice will be removed with a hot butter knife excise the gay, today on dr. phil
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Apr 19, 2016 03:42
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OctoberBlues posted:Probably by poorly hiding my internet searches for naked women. One time when I was younger I did a google search for "naked women" on the family pc late at night, but this was back when the search bar was in the top right corner of the window next to the address bar and so it stayed there even after I closed the browser. My dad had a good laugh at that. Well that's my story, thanks for reading.
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Apr 19, 2016 03:43
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In high school, my dad walked in on me having awful teenage sex with my skinny goth girlfriend and was all "how could you do this" and I shouted back "I learned it from you" and he was left speechless because he didn't know that I knew he was closeted straight and when he turned around my other dad was there with tears in his eyes and long story short I ruined my parents' gay marriage.
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Apr 19, 2016 03:58
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im actually gay op
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Apr 19, 2016 03:59
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OctoberBlues posted:
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Apr 19, 2016 04:00
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Loden Taylor posted:In high school, my dad walked in on me having awful teenage sex with my skinny goth girlfriend and was all "how could you do this" and I shouted back "I learned it from you" and he was left speechless because he didn't know that I knew he was closeted straight and when he turned around my other dad was there with tears in his eyes and long story short I ruined my parents' gay marriage. i wish i could say i expected any better from a hetcis
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Apr 19, 2016 04:07
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flerp posted:im actually gay op don't let that stop you from coming out as straight. keep em guessing imo
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Apr 19, 2016 04:07
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MiracleWhale posted:don't let that stop you from coming out as straight. keep em guessing imo yeah and get beat by a belt, gently caress u
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Apr 19, 2016 04:09
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Now that I think about it I should
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Apr 19, 2016 04:40
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MiracleWhale posted:my mom sent me a really long, boring text and I just replied with "i'm gay" and long story short i had to explain all about the something aweful dot com forums and now she posts here as "dad gay. so what" and embarrasses me constantly lol your mom's name is "coral"
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Apr 19, 2016 05:01
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I think they got the picture when I was dating 3 girls at the same time but i dunno. 
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Apr 19, 2016 05:09
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Because I was drawing pictures of naked women. It was for art I swear.
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Apr 19, 2016 05:17
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You can get cured of the straightness at these special places called Amateur Dramatics Clubs. A couple of musicals down your belt and the free blowjobs off the director and you'll be a homo before you can say Rock Hudson
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Apr 19, 2016 05:25
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:I think they got the picture when I was dating 3 girls at the same time but i dunno. the important thing is that you sat them down and had "the talk"
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Apr 19, 2016 05:40
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MiracleWhale posted:the important thing is that you sat them down and had "the talk" I actually did an art installation where I was in a closet getting sloppy bjs from the entire girls volleyball team and I came out of that closet to proclaim "these pipes are clean!" like in that scene from cabin boy except really masculine like a musk ox. They totally got the anti-irony of it.
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Apr 19, 2016 05:48
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:I actually did an art installation where I was in a closet getting sloppy bjs from the entire girls volleyball team and I came out of that closet to proclaim "these pipes are clean!" like in that scene from cabin boy except really masculine like a musk ox. They totally got the anti-irony of it. remember that the medium is the message, and your medium was "art installation"
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Apr 19, 2016 05:58
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"It is really cool that I finally managed to get a Ladythread going with real actual ladies in it in GBS, but now they are talking about menstruation and menopause which is like the downside of genuine ladythreads and my boner is sad" <--- I read this post to parents
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Apr 19, 2016 06:08
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MiracleWhale posted:remember that the medium is the message, and your medium was "art installation" I never understood the difference between microfiche and microfilm, but I never had to learn in any earnest capacity because Lexus-nexus makes that poo poo p much obsolete.
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Apr 19, 2016 06:11
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(describes myself as a twink versatile while trying to meet hot online women)
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Apr 19, 2016 06:22
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I came downstairs with my friend jenny and my dad was all like, "how are ya jen, it's nice to see you again" and then I tied off the condom and just chucked it straight over his head and into the trash can. swish! nothin but net
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Apr 19, 2016 09:45
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True Story: When I was in 7th grade my mom and dad burst into my room at like midnight and demanded to know if I had been looking at porn on the laptop. I had been and forgot to delete the history. Beautiful, beautiful boobs. Mom was so upset and Dad just looked at me funny. They've since accepted it and occasionally we laugh about it.
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Apr 19, 2016 09:51
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No one was home. Started boning with girlfriend. Mom got home and caught us mid-bone.
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Apr 19, 2016 09:52
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beige suspenders
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Apr 19, 2016 09:55
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I think my mum still thinks I'm gay.
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Apr 19, 2016 10:26
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Paladinus posted:I think my mum still thinks I'm gay. three words: cuck your dad. problem solved!
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Apr 19, 2016 10:32
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*puts rolerblades in shoebox*
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Apr 19, 2016 10:34
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I'm doing well for myself I can really bring home the bacon.
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Apr 19, 2016 13:03
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I'm pretty sure my dad was resigned to the fact that I was gay, as the bookworm kid who didn't like sports and rarely had a girlfriend, nerding away with video games. I know I walked in on him drinking and shooting glances at the Science Fair 1st place trophies and the participation ribbons from when I warmed the bench on the basketball team. Then one night they came home from church unexpectedly early (I'd lost track of time) and walked in on me on the living room couch with a ridiculously stacked, hourglass-shaped Mexican girl with waist length hair riding away on me. My mother was horrified but I could see relief/pride in my father's eyes before he dragged Mom out of the room.
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Apr 19, 2016 13:25
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My parents thought I was gay because the majority of my friends were girls throughout most of my life but the truth is...I was attracted to them and enjoyed their company.
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Apr 19, 2016 14:03
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Getting married (to a woman) was probably a bit of a clue.
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Apr 19, 2016 14:07
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:08 |
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also when you become close friends with a group of girls they'll sometimes start to think of you as a non-sexual entity and change shirts in front of you and stuff and then you can jerk it later which was a nice perk
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Apr 19, 2016 14:16
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