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Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....
woops message got cut off, message stays the same just add an C at the end sonic drfive through the place where you can get a lot of different types of foods. Not a huge fan of that place never was but I would eat there if I had to. I had a lot of people in my life who would like to go there so we would end up there and they would get tator tots but when you get food poisoning and puke up spaghetit, kool-aid the red kind, and tator tots after eating your oNly salad in your lifeat teenage years and puking up on the wooden door while in ICQ the times be a changing so I dont eat those anmore but a lot of people seem to enjoy the tator tots.

back to the topic of hand, its been a crazy year of 2016 ... today I Read about another homciide in america, and another homicide in america, and man like prince died and davidbowie and robin williams. Its been hosed up. No one wants to deal with this anywys and I asked a few days ago why do people become a satanist because I wanted to know what the buzzfeed clickbait hot take on the net from y'all was about what you think about being satanist anywhere or in aEMERican but thats the best type of cheese whenever I see that word even though I have always lived here I will always choose american cheese at subway. So far it just sounds like I care abouts onic, and subway but I don't care about either of those the tooic of hand ...

I used to be a bible luterhan and I went to sunday school. I graduated as a christian and I went snowboarding and we spent several times watching star wars to liken the original the ONLY 3 star wars movies to the fact that the bible IS star wars, it was ridden into my mind as a child and as an adult that everything in the bible is basically sta rwar s but thats not what we went for sunday school I loved all of the doughnuts the most, the cookies too. We had a lot of fun times me and the guys. THey would depants each otyher and run around the wood shed one time wanting to drop a weight onto the head of the eldest one during a long angry Gym session because you cant run but no one has to LAUGH AT YOU FOR not being able to run, its just not something that would make a person of any sane midn or Body think of a person in a good regard. It is Never how I felt good about this person but later in life even wors4e in high school so having to go to another place when not allowe4d at that high school although they were all Christians too. We were ALL christians since we were lutherans and I grew up as one ... but now as an adult, I have strayed my path and accomplished some righteoush tasks that I am not proud of nor is anyone proud of nor does satan tempt me to the dark flesh of sin having lived in Las vegas for several years although I would say that if you go to Nevada you aren't anywhere near as pretty women as in Utah and that isn't just because they are all Mormons,. I don't have a problem with any religion especially that of the mormon religion. I dated several omen and had al ot of rriends in that time period which is a time period lost to sand and erosion because man those times are gone and the clickety clack of the next door neighbors fence as the dog door swings open and the dog with another bum leg limps around from room to room you got to ask yourself how did this become? Do I Need to become a christian, once again?

Like a video game prompt in a video game at a chracter selection secreen or when you are at the movie and they ask you for your ticket and make you stand in a line that does not go th theatre but back to the same line into the theatre again making NO SENSE you curse the name of God once again DO I WANT TO BECOME A CHRISTIAN? ??? GOOOOD DAAaaa... you go to blurt oyut its 2016 its been a bad rough year 20125 was so much worse, but look at the news! ITS ALL FUCKD UP.

I swant to be a better man, but is it as easy as tha? I saw a post on craiglist, and they are seeking Chrhstian people for Christian "get togethers", im like, whoa, it says no bars - no crazy things like that ...Where good people meet. Do we go to a library and have a date? Does the date involve ykour sun address falling to the ground as you moan in ecstasy for the love ofgOd or is this another temptation of satan once again laying on the ground begging for forgiveness but not being really awake or fully aware. When it comes time to ask this question I look at the dog with the bum leg, limping around, having a problem I see ... ran into the yard, nothing bad really happened, I was watching a girl in a sun dress ... a temptation of sin of satan probably, when the dog comes back. No thorn in the paw, but maybe Satan did this to the dog I think. Maybe I do need Christ.... can you simply go find Christ and forgiveness as simple as going to a fast food joint or to said library? As a hook up place for Christians asking you for another christian I was going to say that it would be "I am looking for to be saved" by a women, to help me in my darkness. But how do you just ... become a christian? Like I said AM I STILL ONE? I was baptised and I have no penis to prove it as a American man of God and of the faith gthat I no longer have ... it has withered away like a dandelion in a turnip field you can see the turnips but the withered dandelion lost to the hazy August day 109 on the temperate but no one is even caring youhave to nearly pull yourself along the concere when it is that hot in Arizona.

POhew! I seem to have asked a lot of questions here ... I could have summarized it a lot better, but I think that a way to sum this up to make us all feel better about ourselves and Christian or not is this beautiful image I Found of probably a christian woman, with some christian cats.

TLDR: Can one simply become a Christian as it easily as they can grab a bite at a fast food restaurant or go to a Library? I ask because I lvoe to ski and being a horrible person that I am these days as the sinner and NON saint I learned to snowboard back when I was in sunday school but I hven't been on the slopes in years! I feel I would fall, break something if I tried at this stage of my life. A lot of things are locked behind my fear and a laot of my fear is behind the fact that I am not a Christian.

Every day I want to become a christian, but I don't know if I can tell people because they will laugh at me and I don't want to be ashamed. I can't do this on my own anymore and I can't help but think that Satan is not a very good choice I have nen ver in my life tried another religion but im totally white and totally from the pacific northwest of the united states. I cant try ANY other religion im sorry simp[ly CHristian, or thats it. Like I said, SATAN IS OUT its weird. Theres no point I already asked and a lot of people pointe d out there is really no satan, or religion called hell worshipping.

I am really wored about the dog with the bum leg and if I become a Christian I can maybe heal it, instead of the veteranarian spending 180 dollars plus wsith anesthesia that can possibly kil such a bprecious little white creature. Oh yeah here is my image! I put a lot of thoughst into this but along the way it got a bit muddled from when I was lyi n in the couch talkin to the dog to texting on criaglist to NOw please so comment like and subscribe.



eh after posting the image, I think it is kind of clear. IM not really into like going to church but ill do waht I got to do, tobecome a Christian, if its ok but I dont have any friends who will go dont do it because they will et me do anything and when one of my best friend came over with the loaded gun almost shooting me in the pecker and my girlfriend in the chest it was when I realized ... time to do this.

thank you and god bless (I am not sure if I am christian yet, but if you help me become one this will make more sense)

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JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
id like to help but you really need to give some more info first

root of all eval
Dec 28, 2002

Woah, this might be the first actual tl;dr I've ever posted in 13 years.

Kosher Pickup Line
Jan 10, 2008

Hair Elf
you should try their Chicago dogs op :shittydog:

World Kraid Center
Oct 18, 2009
is it possible to start experiencing a hangover before you even go to slee

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


I dunno if your post is real because drat that formatting stirs to wake a dead pedant. but christianity is actually hard. everyone says it's easy and steps-wise it's pretty much trivial but actualizing yourself in a christian ideal is not easy and you kind of have to immerse yourself in it which requires dealing with people who have a different culture, seriously church life is weird and it feels separate from the rest of the world when you get deep into it. it requires fundamental changes and practice in how you think & in its own right it is really stressful and the community is often pretty toxic because everyone gets ate the gently caress up inside trying to balance a secular life and a christian life especially when the former requires you let go of a lot of the latter, it is what makes it so unappealing to a lot of people & why i had to leave. it's very hard, but it improves the lives of some people who endeavor to change towards that lifestyle. Most people will get mad and scream like a baby before they get close to actually adopting a lasting faith or sincere belief.

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
Something smells like poo poo and theres flies everywhere

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
dear lord

Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....

hemophilia posted:

I dunno if your post is real because drat that formatting stirs to wake a dead pedant. but christianity is actually hard. everyone says it's easy and steps-wise it's pretty much trivial but actualizing yourself in a christian ideal is not easy and you kind of have to immerse yourself in it which requires dealing with people who have a different culture, seriously church life is weird and it feels separate from the rest of the world when you get deep into it. it requires fundamental changes and practice in how you think & in its own right it is really stressful and the community is often pretty toxic because everyone gets ate the gently caress up inside trying to balance a secular life and a christian life especially when the former requires you let go of a lot of the latter, it is what makes it so unappealing to a lot of people & why i had to leave. it's very hard, but it improves the lives of some people who endeavor to change towards that lifestyle. Most people will get mad and scream like a baby before they get close to actually adopting a lasting faith or sincere belief.

eh the thought process got lost with the thought of what is to become a christian and why I want to bome a christian.

I never realized it was hard ... when I was ak id it was easy and there wasn't anything really to it asn and as an adult everyone seems to have fun and be a better person. I strive to become a better person yet I do not kno wwhat im doing wrong or how to achieve that but ive heard from lots of people to try religion since im really at whats lower than rock bottom i dont know what there is but theres around that point.

Speaking of which I was messing with the dogs paw and I just cant figure out whast wrong with it Ieven used a flashlight on it but ive never really known how to treat dogs but It seems like a thorn or something is in its paw its limping and 14 years old so I feel really worried about it.

The people I've met or seen in my life or thwatever there has been in terms of Christianity or what they want to be they are all fuckin liars and don't know what they are doing they are sinners and hateful people and were so mean to me and a lot of people when wesuggested the things we wanted to do with our life. Basically being taught that its ok to not have any goalsor dreams or successes and wanting more from that. I think it would be cool but I dont think im a good person and I think I would be ying to myself and everyone else if I stepped foot into a church.

I think the people would be MUCH better than the idiots i've met in my life man theres been some hum dingers thbat I just dont know why I even bothered in the first place with those idiots.

It's interesting how you said you had to leave, can you eleaborate on that? If you want. Man, I was a good Christian I thouyght but I wasn't doing anything wrong either ... now a days its all the fast life has caught up to me with babe smotorcycles and drug binges for months if not years on end. When dealing with that its a hard thing to think that I would be allowed to be accepted. That is the problem when you have nowhere to go you feel backed up against the wall and you just can't imagine what that dog is feeling in its paw but thats kind of how its like for me, a metaphor for the existence that I am experiencing where everywhere I go is somewhere I don't want to be. I'm pretty bored of everything and I don't want to meet new people but maybe Christians would understand, I don't think I could tell them ANYTHIng about who I am or who I was though ... because only God forgives, and most people are dickheads.

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
im going to read all of that retarded poo poo have a good time doing so

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord
dare, if that's you: fack you man :jackbud:

e: enfield whassup homes

Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....
people have always been real pricks to me and It feels like a constant aura of negativity and gently caress boy attitudes even in my real life no one can give me a straight answer everyone has their head so far up they a holes they cant learn how to treat othesr on this stupid rock. I've wanted to go to church but I dont know how to just get up and to to church so Iguess I still dont have an answer maybe ill ask reddit they seem to have a christian section that could answer this for me without having to call me RETARDED sorry that you are perfect in all ways ho lygod its a forum about diversity and friendship and asking about finding the lord in my life and you are treating me like satan is on your shoulder willing yo uto be mean cber bullying like always basically wake up and get yelled at by m om the lady next door and when the door bell rings your heart races if its too loud it jars you out of your sleep....

the internet equtie is poo poo I dont know why no one ever thought it would get better but its lik when someone slaps a shittyparking.com sticker on your car when you're pororly parked between lines because yea hyou did shitily park but why did you do it in the first place? you didnt help none and it isnt a christian thing by any stretch of the imagination

the one guy who went to church is probably much nicer than most people here who are satanists atheists and trump supporters more than likely hehheeh sorry some onf us all have a lil mean streak and at this hour w/ o a lot of juice in the system its a tough call

dogs probably gonna have to be put down

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

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I want an abridged version of The Sun Also Rises that just jumps right to the buffalo loving

Fishy Joe
Apr 19, 2005
Eat at Fishy Joe's
thats good dear

ghosTTy
Sep 22, 2008

are u ok

the fart question
Mar 21, 2007

College Slice
source your quotes

Fergus Mac Roich
Nov 5, 2008

Soiled Meat

Meowbot posted:

people have always been real pricks to me and It feels like a constant aura of negativity and gently caress boy attitudes even in my real life no one can give me a straight answer everyone has their head so far up they a holes they cant learn how to treat othesr on this stupid rock. I've wanted to go to church but I dont know how to just get up and to to church so Iguess I still dont have an answer maybe ill ask reddit they seem to have a christian section that could answer this for me without having to call me RETARDED sorry that you are perfect in all ways ho lygod its a forum about diversity and friendship and asking about finding the lord in my life and you are treating me like satan is on your shoulder willing yo uto be mean cber bullying like always basically wake up and get yelled at by m om the lady next door and when the door bell rings your heart races if its too loud it jars you out of your sleep....

the internet equtie is poo poo I dont know why no one ever thought it would get better but its lik when someone slaps a shittyparking.com sticker on your car when you're pororly parked between lines because yea hyou did shitily park but why did you do it in the first place? you didnt help none and it isnt a christian thing by any stretch of the imagination

the one guy who went to church is probably much nicer than most people here who are satanists atheists and trump supporters more than likely hehheeh sorry some onf us all have a lil mean streak and at this hour w/ o a lot of juice in the system its a tough call

dogs probably gonna have to be put down

you actually do just walk in. you just go.

Meowbot
Oct 12, 2005

I havent had a plrecription for my eyes in years so the other day I went and got a new one and it hasnt changed. The doctor was like why havent you seen us in 4 years? I told them im scared of op tomietris when the air shoots into your eyes and dilation. They told me my eyes cold get worse....
no not your guys I mean m ydad and brother basically and all the other people who would think im a bigger fuckin loser than I already am if I became a Christian and told them or was like hey on facebook guys im a christian ... no one is supportive and everyone just is like who cares? if we were at a big open park in the middle of the day it would be all the way on the other end of the road for them if you know what i mean! Just not the way to treat family and friends ... wahtever

Fergus Mac Roich
Nov 5, 2008

Soiled Meat

Meowbot posted:

no not your guys I mean m ydad and brother basically and all the other people who would think im a bigger fuckin loser than I already am if I became a Christian and told them or was like hey on facebook guys im a christian ... no one is supportive and everyone just is like who cares? if we were at a big open park in the middle of the day it would be all the way on the other end of the road for them if you know what i mean! Just not the way to treat family and friends ... wahtever

http://www.cqaimh.org/pdf/tool_phq9.pdf

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

im religious

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
It's p easy, you just go to church and say you're Christian. You don't have to sign up or any crap.

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

It's p easy, you just go to church and say you're Christian. You don't have to sign up or any crap.

Or don't go to church or read the bible or do anything Christian but get mad if anyone suggests you're not a Christian

That's how people do it these days. It's funny because all the religious right cries that nobody takes their religion seriously anymore, but they aren't wrong.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Blazing Ownager posted:

Or don't go to church or read the bible or do anything Christian but get mad if anyone suggests you're not a Christian

That's how people do it these days. It's funny because all the religious right cries that nobody takes their religion seriously anymore, but they aren't wrong.

I think it's real appropriate for people to go up to other people, like when they see they are a jew or something, and say "hey jew what's up jew, look it's a jew!", or the same with christian or Rastafari or mormon or Muslim or whatever.

John Denver Hoxha
May 31, 2014

What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts
So back in the day in Russia, every village would have a holy fool who would run around being schizophrenic or whatever affliction they would have (or possibly living a life of unconventional asceticism by faking a condition, stirred up by their passion), cursing people out and doing generally crazy acts such as roaming the town naked except for in chains.

These men would be very cared for by the village, because these men were considered the voice of God and a reminder to be humble, in fact they were prized and a village would boast of how they were treated and politicians would try their best to win their favor.
I don't know what just made me think of that little fact. but got any chains?

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend
Press X to be justified before Almighty God.

Hot Karl Marx
Mar 16, 2009

Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!
i didnt read any of this, does it involve sandwiches or pizza at all?

Verily I Shat
May 24, 2015

by Smythe
Wow, wish OP was dead, yep.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

John Denver Hoxha posted:

So back in the day in Russia, every village would have a holy fool who would run around being schizophrenic or whatever affliction they would have (or possibly living a life of unconventional asceticism by faking a condition, stirred up by their passion), cursing people out and doing generally crazy acts such as roaming the town naked except for in chains.

These men would be very cared for by the village, because these men were considered the voice of God and a reminder to be humble, in fact they were prized and a village would boast of how they were treated and politicians would try their best to win their favor.
I don't know what just made me think of that little fact. but got any chains?

My town is hosting a "who can be the biggest retard" compitition. So far the guy in first place is a navy seal who puts on a bunch of facial prosthetics every day (probably 2-3 hours in a makeup chair) and pretends to be deaf. I think he's trying to look Swedish/Germanic to shame my ethnic heritage. Anyways his getup is supposed to be some crusty bum who antagonizes people or whatever. He has a voice modulator that delivers loud high decibal bursts of glottal noises to distract and alarm people, and his uses his fake hearing impairment as an excuse for these unattenuated outbursts. When he is held for a crime he speaks in an intelligable normal volume language and clearly understands audible and verbal things in his environment without assistance, and drops his "retard" persona. To add another layer to the bullshit he speaks in a Russian accent when he is not in retard mode, although it is poorly acted. He is an instigator and a bully and has immunity from the law and court Marshall. I would estimate his daily expenditure, including his prostetics and fleet of cars for backup and surveillance is somewhere between $40,000 - $60,000 us for his one hour appearance window.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Meowbot I think your posts would be funnier if they were shorter. I tried to read all that and my eyes just started sliding away from the screen, and I have a pretty high tolerance for walls of text.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Eating at Sonic is way easier than becoming a Christian. Because when you eat at Sonic, they don't make you feel bad about all the other burgers you had before them.

Dr Cheeto
Mar 2, 2013
Wretched Harp
:therapy:

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

you have to except jesus into you're heart

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Parallax Scroll posted:

you have to except jesus into you're heart

I'm adjusting my security exceptions now.
Which port does Jesus use?

Gabbleduck
Mar 13, 2011

Three hots an' a cot.
I think I know what you mean

it shreds your brain trying to fit in as a christian in society that's incompatible, even though we have all these establishments and buildings and even some genuine old people left from previous eras that make it seem like it should or could be the natural thing

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Parallax Scroll posted:

you have to except jesus into you're heart

Jesus is the pacemaker for my sins. :smugbert:

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Applewhite posted:

I'm adjusting my security exceptions now.
Which port does Jesus use?

Anal

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ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
666

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