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how big is this room exactly? because from OP's post it seems to be ...about the size of a closet
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Apr 25, 2016 04:08
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OP do you have any addictions or vices? other than working from home as a retard masturbator
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Apr 25, 2016 04:12
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Your Dead Gay Son posted:#1 is only acceptable if you have a stupid cat. Other wise #2 always King Solomon could not have adjudicated so wisely. Actually... dude probably did have tigers So.... You and King Solomon are intelligent mafackers
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Apr 25, 2016 04:13
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OP if you were smart then you'd be shackled with the knowledge of how hosed everything is and you'd be a boozy mess. That you have a stable happy life tells me you're average at best and quite possibly a little dumbass. The smartest people I know are esoteric depressed alcoholics with impressive self destruction capabilities.
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Apr 25, 2016 04:14
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LegoPirateNinja posted:my three year old did it like #1 and i havent spoken to her since except to tell her what a disappointment she is That's some tough, but righteous, schoolin' right there, Dadbrah
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Apr 25, 2016 04:16
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 OP You did it! You successfully trolled GBS!  
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Apr 25, 2016 04:17
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Toadvine posted:The smartest people I know are esoteric depressed alcoholics with impressive self destruction capabilities. Put away the shotgun, Hemingway.
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Apr 25, 2016 04:20
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SurfaceDetail posted:Hi all, thinking that memorization of facts makes you "intelligent" immediately confirms that you are a complete loving moron hope that helps suck my balls retard
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Apr 25, 2016 04:22
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Pick posted:Put away the shotgun, Hemingway. The smart people I've met are also too vain to commit suicide
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Apr 25, 2016 04:23
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JiveHonky posted:
Yah its remarkable how many posters felt compelled to come in and inform the OP that he was not that smart Obviously a 99th percentile poster
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Apr 25, 2016 04:25
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I started with the phone book. Looking up "mensa" was not going to be easy, what with having to follow the strict alphabetizing rules that are so common nowadays. I prefer a softer, more fuzzy alphabetizing scheme, one that allows the mind to float free and "happen" upon the word. There is pride in that. The dictionary is a perfect example of over-alphabetization, with its harsh rules and every little words neatly in place. It almost makes me never want to eat again. Joining Mensa means that you are a genius, and enables you to meet other members who will undrestand what the hell you are talking about when you say, for example, "That lamppost is tawdry." That's the kind of person they're after. Joining Mensa instills in one a courtly benevolence toward nonmembers, who would pretend to know what you know, think what you think, and stultify what you perambulate. I worried about the arbitrary 132 cut-off point, until I met someone with an I.Q. of 131 and, honestly, he was a bit slow on the uptake. I gave up on the phone book, which led me astray time and again with its complex passages, and then tried blind calling with no success. Next, 1-800-MENSA, which weirdly brought dead silence on the other end of the phone. A week later while volksvalking, I realized that "Mensa" didn't contain enough numerals to be a phone number, and knew it must be understood that any future member would be able to figure out the next two digits in the sequence. I tried dialling MENSANE, MENSAIL, MENSAFE, and MENSAAB, but got three rebuffs and a fax tone. So it was neither rhyme nor reasone that I stumbled into a party in my building when I inverted my floor number and got off at 21 instead of 12. Entering the party, I flipped back the Oushak rug and counted the knots per square inch. These people had money. I heard snippets of conversation: words like "feldspar" and "euonym" filled the air. In the corner, a lone piper played a dirge. Instantly, I knew where I was. This was a Mensa party. That's when I saw Lola. She had hair the color of rust and a body the shape of a Doric column - the earlier ones, pre-invasion. She walked across the room carrying one of those rum drinks, slid herself onto the blue velveteen sofa, and endearingly poked herself in the face with her straw when she missed her mouth. If she truly was Mensa, she would have no problem with my introduction: "Please don't relegate me to a faraway lea," I ventured. "I can see you've read Goethe, the Snooky Lanson translations," she countered. "Lozenge?" I was putting her at around 140. Her look told me she was pegging me in the low 120s. My goal was to elevate her assessment and wangle a Mensa membership from out of her. Taking a hint from the soap operas, I talked to her with my back turned while staring out a window: "Wouldn't you rather parse than do anything?" "Hail Xiaoping, the Chinese Goddess of Song," she rejoined. Lola then engaged in some verbal sparring that left me reeling. "This is quite an impressive apartment," she offered. I saw a dictionary on its stand. O, how I longed to run to it and look up "impressive"! How I wanted to retort in Mensa-ese! But it was my turn, and I spoke: "I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult." I threw my head back, laughing, coughed out my lozenge, and watched it nestle into the Oushak. She asked me my name. "Call me Dor," I said. Later, I realized I'd meant Rod. Lola and I sat and talked through the night. After the party, I held her and whispered, "I love that you're in Mensa." She whispered back, "I love that you're in Mensa, too." My temperature dropped to arctic. She told me her phone number, but, since it was all sevens, I couldn't remember it. Most things one wants in life come when they are no longer needed. My membership was awarded exactly one year later, when I applied and became an honorary mensa "plaything." I sold my refrigerator and with the money went on a Mensa love-boat trip to Bermuda. Embarking, I saw a woman standing aft, her back to me, slightly bent over a railing, looking very much the way a Doric column would look if it were bent over a railing. She turned and saw me, and I again saw my Lola. It was as though nothing had changed in a year, because we were both wearing the same things we wore on that night, still unwashed. She spoke: "Long time no see, Dor." I corrected her, gaining the upper hand: "My name's not Dor." "What is it?" "It will come to me." "Would you like to take a walk on the boatdeck?" she asked. Boatdeck? Where is the drat dictionary when you need it. She spoke: "I have only two years to live. Let's enjoy them while we slaver." "Then slaver we shall, slaver we shall." I took her hand, and we turned eastward, toward the setting sun. "And, by the way, my name is Ord."
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Apr 25, 2016 04:30
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I:
Good question OP HTH unironically
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Apr 25, 2016 04:42
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Cool_tony posted:I was putting her at around 140. Her look told me she was pegging me in the low 120s. My goal was to elevate her assessment and wangle a Mensa membership from out of her. Taking a hint from the soap operas, I talked to her with my back turned while staring out a window: "Wouldn't you rather parse than do anything?" 
Absolute Lithops fucked around with this message at 04:48 on Apr 25, 2016 |
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Apr 25, 2016 04:43
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So, I just ate a WHOLE pack of ramen noodles, and guess what was revealed! We are all one before the LORD*! hth Or whatever gender-specific PRONOUN you prefer, hth
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Apr 25, 2016 05:46
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Serviette posted:So, I just ate a WHOLE pack of ramen noodles, and guess what was revealed! you shouldnät be so hard on yourself
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Apr 25, 2016 05:50
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You're, right. I should've had a glass of wine to pair with my noodles. Thanks for caring!
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Apr 25, 2016 05:53
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Cool_tony posted:Good This is dope, yo. Reminds me of the time I joined a cancer support group for Doric Columnists (the pre-invasion kind).
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Apr 25, 2016 05:56
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SurfaceDetail posted:So GBS, How do some of you deal with just being plain smarter than most everyone you meet? i vape
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Apr 25, 2016 05:59
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Human life is inherently valueless; being the smartest person is like being the tallest midget. May an asteroid smite our vain and wretched race from this soiled earth
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Apr 25, 2016 06:10
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i was a genius as a child but as an adult im barely above average. but hey, at least i dont run around with my hand up my rear end in a top hat yelling about how smart and special i am like the op.
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Apr 25, 2016 07:17
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Serviette posted:This is dope, yo. Reminds me of the time I joined a cancer support group for Doric Columnists (the pre-invasion kind). It's a c/p from Steve Martin, but the goon who c/p'ed it deployed it well
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Apr 25, 2016 07:17
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This thread is how you deal with the person that thinks that they are the smartest one in the room.
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Apr 25, 2016 08:02
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Social intelligence is a thing too. OP seems to have none. Go shove a cactus up your rear end, OP, and stop making cry-for-attention threads trying to make yourself feel smarter to keep yourself from noticing the inevitable truth of your overweight virgin wasted life with degrees you have worked on without contributing anything back to that community.
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Apr 25, 2016 08:29
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I live in Florida and feel your pain. The average American is so stupid or mindless. The average guy I come across is a sex obsessed, skinny fat, ignorant loser. And women are obsessed with pop culture, but whenever you try to have deep conversation about music production or filmmaking they scoff and make you seem like the weirdo.
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Apr 25, 2016 08:39
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How do you deal with being the Derek Smartest person in the room?
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Apr 25, 2016 08:44
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I have a scab in my nose and I was told not to pick it so I'm not I just breathe around it and wait.
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Apr 25, 2016 09:01
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The day before I eat in a restaurant I perform my own tests on it for fecal contamination. I bring a pocket full of swabs and a fake mustache and a khaki trenchcoat. I swab everywhere (except the toilets, duh). Even the hands of the servers. Any fecal matter and they've lost a potential customer. Just a small sample of my brainpower.
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Apr 25, 2016 09:58
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You suck, OP.
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Apr 25, 2016 10:10
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I'm of average intelligence, thoroughly mediocre how do I deal with the smartest guys in the room like the OP please help
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Apr 25, 2016 10:17
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rudatron posted:I'm of average intelligence, thoroughly mediocre same way everyone else dealt with him at school: wedgies and swirlies
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Apr 25, 2016 10:18
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Apr 25, 2016 10:40
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Basically: you're an insufferable prick if you can't enjoy life for what it is.
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Apr 25, 2016 11:12
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I enjoy life a plenty. Its just hard from near the top sometimes. Theres drafts and other people just don't have the same perspective as me. I need to learn how to handle the small whisperings from below.
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Apr 25, 2016 12:54
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The IQ you have at ten is almost certainly higher than your adult IQ score for various reasons. IQ is an indexed score based on age, not some kind of absolute measurement.
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Apr 25, 2016 13:12
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I don't really care about the op but IQ testing is interesting and you all should learn more about it. (Please do not mention that dumb book from the mid-90s).
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Apr 25, 2016 13:14
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BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:Yah its remarkable how many posters felt compelled to come in and inform the OP that he was not that smart GBS is insanely easy to troll
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Apr 25, 2016 13:42
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136? *chuckles* That's like my level hombre.
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Apr 25, 2016 13:53
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I deal with it by being helpful. People appreciate that.
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Apr 25, 2016 13:58
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whenever im problem solving a complex problem or explaining something complicated to someone uninitiated i usually end up staring at something off in the distance and start talking like a robot i also talk to myself a lot cause i need someone smart to bounce ideas off (i try real people at first but it usually makes things worse) does this mean im artistic ?
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Apr 25, 2016 14:22
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SurfaceDetail posted:I enjoy life a plenty. Its just hard from near the top sometimes. Theres drafts and other people just don't have the same perspective as me. You suck. You're boring. You're not funny.
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Apr 25, 2016 16:09
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