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Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮


What are the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup and/or Canadian Championship?

These two competitions are the tournaments to determine the best club, regardless of level of play, in their respective country. What this really means is any team, regardless of how good they are, can win a trophy.

What's so important about these competitions?

Other than the trophy, the winners of these competitions get access to the CONCACAF Champions League, where they will proceed to lose to a Mexican team in depressing fashion. It's also the only source of pride for Toronto fans, although winning a three-team round robin isn't much to be proud of.

Who gets to play?

All professional teams are eligible for the competitions unless they are a USL reserve squad (I'm looking at you, los Dos); amateur and semi-pro teams must qualify to make the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup. Only teams in MLS and the NASL play for the Canadian Championship

How do the competitions work?

Canada: 5 teams
USA: 91 teams

Canada: Home-and-home with away goals rule
USA: Knockout

Canada:
Play-in round (Edmonton vs. Ottawa)
Semi-finals (Play-in round winner vs. Vancouver, Montreal vs. Toronto)
Finals

USA:
First Round (All but two amateur and semi-pro teams enter)
Second Round (USL and two semi-pro teams enter)
Third Round (NASL teams enter)
Fourth Round (MLS teams enter)
Four Rounds afterwards

Also to note is that, until the Fifth Round, teams are grouped together based on location - after that, a standard bracket is used.

Are these games televised?
Canada: Yes, on Rogers Sportsnet
USA: No. Some matches will probably be streamed online, and the final will be on ESPN2 (possibly).

When do these take place?
Both competitions begin May 11. The Canadian Championship lasts until late June, and the USOC will crown a champion in September. Match days are on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and I'd look at the schedule if I were you to see when the exact dates are.

Harpo's?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po6OpT5ZqLA
Harpo's FC is a literal pub team who got to play the Switchbacks last year, and yes, they're in this year's tournament. Still, the gold standard for amateur clubs is Cal FC, who beat Portland back in 2012.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Lamar_Hunt_U.S._Open_Cup <- Schedule and bracket for the USOC

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Pissflaps
Oct 20, 2002

by VideoGames
Ah the Lamar Hunt US Open Cup/Canadian Championship *takes a deep whiff*.

Let's go Lamar.

Syncopated
Oct 21, 2010
Has this got anything to do with the headcrab named Lamar in Half Lif 2?

Aggro
Apr 24, 2003

STRONG as an OX and TWICE as SMART
I'm hoping I get off work early enough to see DCFC clown on the Michigan Bucks. Some of their pick ups this year are drat impressive, including a keeper from the Red Bulls academy.

Nostradingus
Jul 13, 2009

Aggro posted:

I'm hoping I get off work early enough to see DCFC clown on the Michigan Bucks. Some of their pick ups this year are drat impressive, including a keeper from the Red Bulls academy.

I know the Bucks aren't a great team but I don't think Ben Gibbard is up to it

Do over Ham
Mar 20, 2009

Looking forward to my teams (Rowdies and Revs) going absolutely nowhere in their cup runs again this year. #COYR

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747
Go see your closest first round match.

I'll be heading down to Fredericksburg, VA on the 11th to see the former RVA FC (Fredericksburg FC) face West Chester United. Probably twenty people will be there. The foot will be bad. But it won't matter.

Seriously. Go look up your closest match and make a point to spend a Tuesday night with some friends. You'll probably double their budget. Take the challenge

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
First round action tomorrow in the USOC:

Chesterfield United vs. Aromas Cafe
The Villages vs. Kraze United (STREAM)
Fredericksburg FC vs. West Chester United
Reading United vs. Atlanta Silverbacks (STREAM)
Clarkstown SC Eagles vs. Jersey Express
Charlotte Eagles vs. Myrtle Beach Mutiny (STREAM)
Miami Fusion vs. Boca Raton (STREAM)
Indy Eleven NPSL vs. Cincinnati Dutch Lions (RADIO)
Long Island Rough Riders vs. Lansdowne Bhoys (RADIO)
New York Pancyprian-Freedomos vs. New York Red Bulls U23s
Michigan Bucks vs. Detroit City
Southie FC vs. Seacoast United Phantoms
GPS Portland Phoenix vs. AFC Cleveland
Mississippi Brilla vs. CD Motagua of NOLA (STREAM)
FC Wichita vs. Des Moines Menace (STREAM)
Albuquerque Sol vs. Harpo's (STREAM)
NTX Rayados vs. Corinthians of San Antonio Rayados disqualified for not playing in a USSF-sanctioned league last year. How this took until the last minute, I don't know.
Sacramento Gold vs. Burlingame Dragons
Ventura County Fusion vs. LA Wolves
San Francisco City vs. CD Aguiluchos USA (RADIO)
FC Tucson vs. San Nicolas FC (STREAM)
Portland Timbers U23s vs. La Maquina
Seattle Sounders U23s vs. Outbreak FC

Edward Mass fucked around with this message at 04:14 on May 12, 2016

Pissflaps
Oct 20, 2002

by VideoGames
Some mouthwatering lineups there.

Lamar, you've done it again.

oliwan
Jul 20, 2005

by Nyc_Tattoo
lol

Fucitol
May 8, 2005

Ceterum autem censeo mundum esse delendam



Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris

no way any of these teams are real

also lol at the rayados disqual reason

this trophy and the resulting clownshow competition ruins the good image of lamar hunt :ssh:

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747
The USOC owns, tiny rear end teams with five fans own, this is a good sport, UP THE AROMAS CAFES

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

CaptainYesterday posted:

NTX Rayados vs. Corinthians of San Antonio Rayados disqualified for not playing in a USSF-sanctioned league last year. How this took until the last minute, I don't know.
Every year or two a team forfeits out of a game in the early rounds of the USOC due to some administrative clusterfuck that you'd think the USSF would have been able to get a handle on earlier.

Cuban Chowder Factory
Jun 3, 2002
Bring the cup home

- A patron of Aromas Cafe, ordering a latte to-go

oliwan
Jul 20, 2005

by Nyc_Tattoo
how did "myrtle beach mutiny" do?

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747
They're losing, friend, but you could watch the mighty Mississippi Brilla FC face off against the hated Motagua of NOLA. http://www.ussoccer.com/lamar-hunt-...sissippi-brilla

mushi
Oct 13, 2003
I am addicted to video games.
Man, I just saw they're hosting a game at Providence Park yet there's nothing on the Timbers website because there's an MLS game going on tonight anyway. Tickets to go see USOC soccer are $5 but I'm booked unfortunately :( I would love to see the U23 team play against a random small team.

Any way to know if they'll play another game at a specific location for the next round?

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

THEY'LL BE DANCING IN THE STREETS OF AROMA'S CAFE AFTER TONIGHT'S 2-1 WIN!

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747
Everyone needs to watch the Harpo's match, the ABQ supporter section is five dudes and a fat kid hitting a bucket with a stick forlornly

I am over the moon

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747
Game paused in Albuquerque due to a baby running on the field

The PA announcer took the time to remind people you could still buy beer

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

Your Boy Fancy posted:

Game paused in Albuquerque due to a baby running on the field

The PA announcer took the time to remind people you could still buy beer

This is, truly, the face of soccer in America.

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747
Onward to Tuscon vs San Nicolas, where the giant CACTUS PRICKS sign is larger than the fanbase

Aggro
Apr 24, 2003

STRONG as an OX and TWICE as SMART
Detroit City beat the Michigan Bucks 4-3 on penalties after new keeper Evan Louro makes two saves. Their first USOC win ever.

Edit: The fans are cool and good.

Aggro fucked around with this message at 04:36 on May 12, 2016

Hello Towel
Aug 9, 2010

The USOC is cool and good and it's the only thing my poo poo-rear end MLS club is known for.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Round 1 results:

Chesterfield United 1-2 (a.e.t) Aromas Cafe
The Villages 1-0 Kraze United
Fredericksburg FC 1-1 West Chester United (West Chester United advance on PKs)
Reading United 2-0 Atlanta Silverbacks
Clarkstown SC Eagles 1-2 Jersey Express
Charlotte Eagles 3-2 (a.e.t.) Myrtle Beach Mutiny
Miami Fusion 4-1 (a.e.t.) Boca Raton
Indy Eleven NPSL 1-0 Cincinnati Dutch Lions
Long Island Rough Riders 1-2 Lansdowne Bhoys
New York Pancyprian-Freedoms 2-1 New York Red Bulls U23s
Michigan Bucks 0-0 Detroit City (Detroit City advance on PKs)
Southie FC 2-0 Seacoast United Phantoms
GPS Portland Phoenix 0-1 AFC Cleveland
Mississippi Brilla 2-0 CD Motagua of NOLA
FC Wichita 1-2 Des Moines Menace
Albuquerque Sol 0-2 Harpo's
NTX Rayados forfeit against Corinthians of San Antonio
Sacramento Gold 3-1 Burlingame Dragons
Ventura County Fusion 2-1 LA Wolves
San Francisco City 0-3 CD Aguiluchos USA
FC Tucson 3-0 San Nicolas FC
Portland Timbers U23s 0-2 La Maquina
Seattle Sounders U23s 3-1 (a.e.t.) Outbreak FC

Round 2 is next week, and USL teams that aren't glorified academies join! And yes, Harpo's looks to get revenge against Colorado Springs.

Do over Ham
Mar 20, 2009

Aggro posted:

Detroit City beat the Michigan Bucks 4-3 on penalties after new keeper Evan Louro makes two saves. Their first USOC win ever.

Edit: The fans are cool and good.

Before the kick:

"Shut the gently caress up!" :argh:

After the kick:

....flare smoke....

"Everybody drive home safely."

"Oh, we will." :smug:

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
The Los Angeles Wolves are claiming that Ventura County used an illegal player in their match, and the USSF is investigating. The player in question isn't named, but the coach of the Wolves says that a player Cup-tied to Cal FC played for Ventura County.

Imagine working for US Soccer, and this is your job.

Fucitol
May 8, 2005

Ceterum autem censeo mundum esse delendam



Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris
sunil gulati is probably the only person in ussf that gets a paycheck. everyone else is likely an unpaid intern or a vastly overpaid player.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
:siren: Ventura County got disqualified for that thing :siren:

e: :siren: There may be a replay if Ventura County's appeal goes through :siren:

Edward Mass fucked around with this message at 03:16 on May 16, 2016

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
The appeal was denied, so the Wolves will play tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, here's Round 2's matchups:

May 18
West Chester United vs. Harrisburg City Islanders (STREAM)
Cincinnati vs. Indy Eleven NPSL (RADIO)
Charlotte Eagles vs. Charlotte Independence (STREAM)
Richmond Kickers vs. Aromas Cafe
Wilmington Hammerheads vs. Miami Fusion
Louisville City vs. Detroit City
Rochester Rhinos vs. Southie FC
Pittsburgh Riverhounds vs. Lansdowne Bhoys
Charleston Battery vs. the Villages (STREAM)
Chattanooga vs. Reading United (STREAM)
Saint Louis vs. AFC Cleveland (RADIO)
San Antonio vs. Corinthians of San Antonio (RADIO)
Mississippi Brilla vs. Oklahoma City Energy (STREAM)
Des Moines Menace vs. Tulsa Roughnecks (STREAM)
La Maquina vs. Sacramento Gold
Colorado Springs Switchbacks vs. Harpo's
Los Angeles Wolves vs. Orange County Blues
Kitsap Pumas vs. Seattle Sounders U23s
Sacramento Republic vs. CD Aguiluchos USA (RADIO)
FC Tucson vs. Arizona United (STREAM)

May 19
New York Pancyprian-Freedoms vs. Jersey Express

Edward Mass fucked around with this message at 02:08 on May 19, 2016

Fucitol
May 8, 2005

Ceterum autem censeo mundum esse delendam



Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris
up the pancyprian-freedoms

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747

Fucitol posted:

up the pancyprian-freedoms

Cypria will be Free all over

Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013




A pub team, a coffeehouse team, a team based in a retirement community, and a team run as a "soccer ministry". Ah, the US Open Cup.

oliwan
Jul 20, 2005

by Nyc_Tattoo
op, please don't disrespect Lamar. it's racist.

King of False Promises
Jul 31, 2000



I'm listening to the mighty Indy Eleven NPSL vs FC Cincinnati of the USL. Winner takes on my beloved Rowdies.

awyeahz
Aug 21, 2005

~*~BeDtImE~4~B0NZ0~*~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRjg1pIhcKY

Here's a periscopey live stream of Louisville City vs Detroit City FC if you're into that sort of thing. Winner plays the actual Indy Eleven.

awyeahz
Aug 21, 2005

~*~BeDtImE~4~B0NZ0~*~
Nippert attendance update: pretty good

https://twitter.com/ChuBeast/status/733073911550779393

Indy away fans lit smoke bombs after Indy Eleven NPSL equalized:

https://twitter.com/IndyElevenNPSL/status/733080617861189633

Your Boy Fancy
Feb 7, 2003

by Cyrano4747
Detroit City is a poo poo house team.

Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013




At the STL game. St Louis are winning 1-0, plus they had a penalty saved. Cleveland have a guy built like a brick shithouse up front and their coach looks like Jared from Silicon Valley.

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sleepwalkers
Dec 7, 2008


Detroit City FC just stopped a PK attempt in extra time against Lou City, then DCFC picked up a red for... something. Not sure what. Been some spotty officiating throughout the entire match, going both ways.
Then Detroit City's coach was ejected, and they scored shortly thereafter? Crazy match.

sleepwalkers fucked around with this message at 02:16 on May 19, 2016

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