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green chicken feet
Nov 5, 2015

spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose
Grimey Drawer
When I saw the terms "rape", "developmentally disabled", and "Stubblefield" in a headline, my first thought was of this infamous thread.
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3749863

But I didn't recall the rapist's first name, Anna. So in my perplexed and ignorant-about-sports mind, I first thought that this article was somehow about her.

Ex-49er Dana Stubblefield is charged with raping a developmentally disabled woman
http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-former-san-francisco-49er-charged-rape-20160502-story.html

I clicked the title to read, wondering how Stubblefield could have managed to escape prison to rape another disabled individual. (I have heard of the 49ers, but I hadn't made the connection that the football team was what this was talking about.) Anyway, a completely different person with A-N-A in his first name and Stubblefield in his last name has been accused of raping a person legally incapable of consensual sex.

The implications are staggering. Is there a curse associated with with this name? Should all anagrams containing these letters be suspect? Anyone here named Alan or Nena Stubblefield care to rise to the defense of your kind?

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Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
gently caress off

scuba school sucks
Aug 30, 2012

The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark
So you work from home OP?

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

Enfield posted:

gently caress off

green chicken feet
Nov 5, 2015

spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose
Grimey Drawer
Enfield appears to have taken personal offense. Could he... in reality be... a Stubblefield? Or, hardly more forgivable, a Stubblefield sympathizer?

And no one please doxx me. My mom was already traumatized enough by giving birth to me.

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
sorry for being rude. im a stubby thing

green chicken feet
Nov 5, 2015

spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose
Grimey Drawer

Enfield posted:

sorry for being rude. im a stubby thing

You are now cleared of suspicion, because no true Stubblefield would admit error.

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Is this why I get ingrown hairs in my groin area after I shave?

Macrowave Oven
Nov 20, 2008

Guitar, bass, drums, keyboards, clavinet, piano, keytar, lap steel guitar, slide bass guitar, mandolin, violin, and FRESH POTS.

Network Pesci posted:

So you work from home OP?

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.
my name is Lana Stubblefield but I only jack off horses, and in a professional environment

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
gonna nickname my dilz stubby stubblefield.

green chicken feet
Nov 5, 2015

spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose
Grimey Drawer

satanic splash-back posted:

Is this why I get ingrown hairs in my groin area after I shave?

Ingrown hairs are the opposite of stubble, so in fact you may be the natural enemy of the Stubblefield - the Anti-Stubblefield.

green chicken feet
Nov 5, 2015

spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose
Grimey Drawer

Zorodius posted:

my name is Lana Stubblefield but I only jack off horses, and in a professional environment

Thank you for stepping forward so bravely. #NotAllStubblefields

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
Dang, $80 from an NFL player for personal services is kind of insulting though

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

green chicken feet posted:

Ingrown hairs are the opposite of stubble, so in fact you may be the natural enemy of the Stubblefield - the Anti-Stubblefield.

interesting, i was just "playing the field," but now i'm not so sure about my casual involvement

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

Enfield posted:

gently caress off

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

green chicken feet posted:

I clicked the title to read,

you're loving insufferable

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014

quote:

Nathan Beverly Stubblefield (November 22, 1860 – March 28, 1928),

self-described "practical farmer, fruit grower and electrician",[2] was an American inventor best known for his wireless telephone work. He received widespread attention in early 1902 when he gave a series of public demonstrations of a battery-operated wireless telephone, which could be transported to different locations and used on mobile platforms such as boats. While this initial design employed conduction, in 1908 he received a U.S. patent for a wireless telephone system that used magnetic induction. However, he was ultimately unsuccessful in commercializing his inventions. He later went into seclusion, and died alone in 1928.

I dunno, he sounds wiley

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend
Don't know why we're talking about this and not a much more serious sex scandal

Mesa, AZ student arrested for indecent exposure in yearbook picture

quote:

There were 69 students, ranging in age from 15 to 19 and 10 faculty members, present when the picture was taken, and Osborn knowingly exposed the top of his penis through the top of the waistband of his football uniform pants during the photo session.

Based on the photo and admission, Osborn was booked for 69 counts of indecent exposure -- a class 1 misdemeanor -- and one count of furnishing harmful items to minors -- a class 4 felony.

the great deceiver
Sep 23, 2003

why the feds worried bout me clockin on this corner/
when there's politicians out here gettin popped in arizona
lets go niners

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!
If there's grass on the Stubblefield, play ball.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

I had no idea what this thread was going to be about, but I was going to make a reference to obscure NFL player Dana Stubblefield no matter what, and now, well, that has been ruined.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Toilet Mouth posted:

Don't know why we're talking about this and not a much more serious sex scandal

Mesa, AZ student arrested for indecent exposure in yearbook picture

Holy poo poo. They're really pissed about seeing that kid's tip.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

eye rape is no laughing matter and frankly it's disgusting that hes only being charged with misdemeanors

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
The goon who introduced me to the forums once "jokingly" said it shouldn't be called rape it should be called surprise sex. Wonder if Mister Stubblefield will use that defense in court :shrug:

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Blue Train posted:

eye rape is no laughing matter and frankly it's disgusting that hes only being charged with misdemeanors

Read it again.

But nah they really shouldn't hammer a kid that hard for a prank. And with it being indecent exposure they have the option of making him register, if I'm not mistaken.

DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

Toilet Mouth posted:

Don't know why we're talking about this and not a much more serious sex scandal

Mesa, AZ student arrested for indecent exposure in yearbook picture

furnishing harmful items to minors?

that is one spicey penis

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CharlestonJew
Jul 7, 2011

Illegal Hen
Mr. F

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