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seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
It's time for our annual rate your draft thread. Let’s see how terrible we all are in the next 3 years with eyeballing a draft.

Seattle Seahawks

Team needs going into the draft (in order): OL, DL, CB, LB, RB

Round 1, Pick 31 (31) – Germain Ifedi, OL, Texas A&M: First thing, Seattle traded up from 26 to 31 and got a 3rd round pick from Denver, which is an excellent value with only moving up 5 places. Now, about Ifedi, he’s a physical specimen with a lot of physical tools, but his technique needs work. Tom Cable thinks he can probably teach that, but I’m a little skeptical. He’s already slotted for guard to replace JR Sweezy, which means it’ll be an easy replacement. But for first round talent, I’m not sure how good he’ll be. Grade: B+ (A for the trade, B- for the pick)

Round 2, Pick 18 (49) – Jarran Reed, DT, Alabama: This is probably the best pick of the draft. Reed is a fantastic interior linemen that can handle double teams and defending against the run. Seattle lost a big spot in Brandon Mebane, and he’s a perfect replacement for him. He can play every down too. He has some issues in pass rush, but no player is going to be perfect. He should have been picked mid 1st round, so Seattle did a fantastic job trading up for him. Grade: A

Round 3, Pick 27 (90) – CJ Prosise, RB, Notre Dame: This is a pretty good pick. Prosise should easily slot behind Rawls as a 2nd string RB, and was a former WR, so he could easily line up on the outside if necessary. He has a few issues with ball control, so I’m hoping he doesn’t become another Christine Michael, but either way, he has very good breakaway speed, which is something Lynch didn’t have. Grade: B

Round 3, Pick 32 (94) – Nick Vannett, TE, Ohio State: TE wasn’t an immediate thought for the draft, but this is actually not a bad pick. Jimmy Graham is still recovering from injury, and Luke Willson still isn’t very good. Vannett is really good at run blocking, so considering Seattle’s O-line state, this is an excellent pick. He’s a little boring at route running and doesn’t do a great job getting separation from defenders, so I don’t anticipate seeing a lot of passes to him. Grade: B

Round 3, Pick 35 (97) – Rees Odhiambo, OL, Boise State: Ehh, not a fan of this pick. He’s a bit undersized, but versatile. He’s also not been able to play a full season yet. Mocks had him going in the 6th or 7th round so this is a pretty big reach by Seattle. But they’ve always been weird about their offensive line picks, and to little surprise, the Tom Cable era line usually sucks. Grade: C-

Round 5, Pick 8 (147) – Quinton Jefferson, DL, Maryland: Scouts looooove that he’s already married with 3 kids. He looks to be a rotational guy on the outside, as well as a depth pick. He looks to be a decent pass rusher, but he’s had a torn ACL, so injury health will be an issue. Overall, not a bad depth pick, and could contribute in a limited quality. Grade: B

Round 5, Pick 34 (171) – Alex Collins, RB, Arkansas: Mocks had this guy going in the 3rd round, so getting him in the 5th doesn’t seem too bad. However, Seattle already drafted an RB, which makes me a bit concerned about the health of Rawls’ ankle. Collins has good speed, but is somewhat one-dimensional, and had a fumbling problem. If Seattle hadn’t drafted an RB already, I’d feel good about this pick, but considering the other needs of the team, it felt a little odd for the team to take him here. Grade: C+

Round 6, Pick 40 (215) – Joey Hunt, C, TCU: Undersized for an offensive linemen, and likely can’t add mass to his frame. He’s got good football IQ, but being undersized with Trump-sized hands he’s had a tendency to hold. This looks like a lottery pick to see if there’s anything there, but overall I really don’t anticipate him being on the team come 53-man. Grade: C-

Round 7, Pick 22 (243) – Kenny Lawler, WR, Cal: Tall, stocky WR with big hands, decent speed that was one of Jared Goff’s favorite targets. He has good speed, but is a little inconsistent in his route runs. Overall, though he looks to be really good value in round 7, and I could easily see him being the 4th WR after Baldwin, Lockett, and Kearse. Grade: B+

Round 7, Pick 26 (247) – Zac Brooks, RB, Clemson: Seattle took 3 RBs. I don’t even know anymore. Grade: INC

Final thoughts: Seattle usually does odd picks that surprises everyone. This one wasn’t that. We got a O-line and D-line player that should immediately fill in, and we will have a good 3rd down RB (Prosise’s comp was Fred Jackson, our 3rd down RB last season). I think Vannett will help shore up the outside blocking. Outside of Ifedi, I don’t really care for the offensive line picks. I think Odhiambo is an injury liability, and Hunt is way too undersized for the NFL. I don’t feel we adequately addressed the offensive line enough. The fact that Seattle grabbed 3 RBs seems concerning to me. Overall, Seattle did mostly address their two main concerns with Ifedi and Reed, but I don’t know how the team will exactly replace Bruce Irvin next year, and that wasn't addressed in the draft. We usually draft a CB in each draft for depth, which is something we didn't do this season. For what it's worth, Seattle got a lot of UDFA LBs, so I imagine one of them is going to be making the team. I also wouldn't be surprised if Vernon Adams gets the backup job at QB too. Overall grade: B

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Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont
THE NEW YORK SORT OF FOOTBALL GIANTS

The Giants entered the draft with many holes, despite a productive free agency. Eli doesn't have a lot of time left, so we needed fast contributors. what we got:

CB ELI APPLE - C
Apple was a total reach at the spot where he was taken, but he was still a first round prospect and a slot corner to cover our bad linebackers is a need. For where he was chosen and for who else was on the board, this grade gets knocked a few points. This pick could look really bad one day, but as a pure prospect, it wasn't awful, just disappointing.

WR STERLING SHEPARD - A
We lost Randle and Cruz is probably dead, and we decided to draft another possible OBJ. More then happy about it.

FS DARIAN THOMPSON - B
Last year all our safeties got hurt and we needed a free safety more than anything. Thompson is that, although he gets to compete with our 4 other safeties from earlier drafts for the spot.

ILB BJ GOODSON - C
I dunno poo poo about him but a mid round linebacker feels like "special teams ace" to me. Considering our linebackers though, not the worst pick

RB Paul Perkins - B
We have 6 RBs on the roster now, I don't know where Perkins fits in, though he seems small and quick and good and a steal for where we got him. Hopefully this pick results in Andre Williams going away forever.

TE Jerell Adams -B
We need a TE but I doubt some 6th rounder is the next antonio gates. He probably barely sees any action at all, if he sees any. But we do need tight ends, so it's fine. Take a chance on one late.

Honestly we needed all these positions, and only Apple was a bad pick. Too bad it was our FIRST PICK gently caress you Jerry. A B overall

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Detroit Lions

Taylor Decker

Sure, he can't pass block but he's a gritty tough high work ethic corn fed mauling big ten midwest buzzword.

A'Shawn Robinson
A steal in the 2nd. I love this dude.

Graham Glasgow
Sure, he can't block but he's a tough gritty corn fed high work ethic mauling big ten midwest buzzword.

Miles Killebrew
Good name, fine pick. Whatever.

Joe Dahl
Oh look, they made a good offensive linemen selection. This kid is cool.

Antwione Williams
How do you pronounce his name

Jake Rudock
lol okay yeah great draft everyone

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Team needs going into the draft: DE, CB, S, DT, K, WR

Round 1, Pick 11 - Vernon Hargreaves III, CB, Florida: Fills an obvious need considering how bad the Bucs secondary was last year. The Bucs have talent at CB but Grimes is pretty old and might not be good anymore. Hargreaves will probably start as a nickel/dime back behind Grimes, Verner, and Banks. He is a bit undersized but those types of players seem to be ok in Mike Smith's system. Bucs traded down 2 spots and picked up an extra 4th round pick here as well. B

Round 2, Pick 39 - Noah Spence, DE, Eastern Kentucky: His character concerns seem to be behind him and was an Ohio State transfer. Spence is probably the Bucs best pure pass rushing end already, which doesn't say much for the roster. All the Bucs really need him to do is be a pass rusher and he's arguably the best in this draft class. It's been since Simeon Rice in 2005 since the Bucs had a double digit sack end. I love this pick. A

Round 2, Pick 59 - Roberto Aguayo, K, Florida State: By far the most polarizing pick in the entire draft and I love this pick. The Bucs kickers were awful last year and cost the team 2 games. Combined, Bucs kickers missed 11 field goals and 4 PATs last season. The Bucs addressed this issue by getting the most accurate kicker in NCAA history. He also has more power than people realize. Another overlooked thing is the fact that touchbacks are now moved to the 25 yard line. One of the things Aguayo did best at FSU was pinning return men with high hang time kicks (4+ seconds) in the corner near the end zone. Countless times he did this and it left teams with poor field position to start with. All the Bucs really gave up to move here was the 4th round pick they got for trading down in the first so it wasn't much. B

Round 4, Pick 108 - Ryan Smith, S, North Carolina Central: A small school sleeper who may be a bit undersized to play Safety, which the team said he is starting out at. He played CB his last year but has experience playing safety. He'll be a project who can hopefully help our awful safety group down the road. He does have some KR experience as well. C

Round 5, Pick 148 - Caleb Benenoch, OL, UCLA: Versatile lineman which the Bucs love. Can play inside or outside. He'll need some time to develop and could potentially take over at RT in a couple years. Not high expectation here. C

Round 6, Pick 183 - Devante Bond, OLB, Oklahoma: Depth/ST selection here. The Bucs opted to not bring back some of the veteran LBs so this pick makes sense. Undersized but athletic guy. Should make the roster. C

Round 6, Pick 197 - Dan Vitale, FB, Northwestern: I had a feeling they'd end up with Vitale as they flirted with him in the pre draft process quite a bit. Might be more of an H-Back than a traditional FB as he has good hands and experience in the role. If the Bucs want a FB on the roster he will be the guy. C

Overall the Bucs came away with 3 probable starters after getting 4 last year so Lichts work in the draft is encouraging. The only thing anyone will talk about is the kicker thing and that's fine.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Bengals:

Duke Tobin.


'nuf said.

Epi Lepi
Oct 29, 2009

You can hear the voice
Telling you to Love
It's the voice of MK Ultra
And you're doing what it wants

wandler20 posted:

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Team needs going into the draft: DE, CB, S, DT, K, WR

Round 1, Pick 11 - Vernon Hargreaves III, CB, Florida: Fills an obvious need considering how bad the Bucs secondary was last year. The Bucs have talent at CB but Grimes is pretty old and might not be good anymore. Hargreaves will probably start as a nickel/dime back behind Grimes, Verner, and Banks. He is a bit undersized but those types of players seem to be ok in Mike Smith's system. Bucs traded down 2 spots and picked up an extra 4th round pick here as well. B

Round 2, Pick 39 - Noah Spence, DE, Eastern Kentucky: His character concerns seem to be behind him and was an Ohio State transfer. Spence is probably the Bucs best pure pass rushing end already, which doesn't say much for the roster. All the Bucs really need him to do is be a pass rusher and he's arguably the best in this draft class. It's been since Simeon Rice in 2005 since the Bucs had a double digit sack end. I love this pick. A

Round 2, Pick 59 - Roberto Aguayo, K, Florida State: By far the most polarizing pick in the entire draft and I love this pick. The Bucs kickers were awful last year and cost the team 2 games. Combined, Bucs kickers missed 11 field goals and 4 PATs last season. The Bucs addressed this issue by getting the most accurate kicker in NCAA history. He also has more power than people realize. Another overlooked thing is the fact that touchbacks are now moved to the 25 yard line. One of the things Aguayo did best at FSU was pinning return men with high hang time kicks (4+ seconds) in the corner near the end zone. Countless times he did this and it left teams with poor field position to start with. All the Bucs really gave up to move here was the 4th round pick they got for trading down in the first so it wasn't much. B

Round 4, Pick 108 - Ryan Smith, S, North Carolina Central: A small school sleeper who may be a bit undersized to play Safety, which the team said he is starting out at. He played CB his last year but has experience playing safety. He'll be a project who can hopefully help our awful safety group down the road. He does have some KR experience as well. C

Round 5, Pick 148 - Caleb Benenoch, OL, UCLA: Versatile lineman which the Bucs love. Can play inside or outside. He'll need some time to develop and could potentially take over at RT in a couple years. Not high expectation here. C

Round 6, Pick 183 - Devante Bond, OLB, Oklahoma: Depth/ST selection here. The Bucs opted to not bring back some of the veteran LBs so this pick makes sense. Undersized but athletic guy. Should make the roster. C

Round 6, Pick 197 - Dan Vitale, FB, Northwestern: I had a feeling they'd end up with Vitale as they flirted with him in the pre draft process quite a bit. Might be more of an H-Back than a traditional FB as he has good hands and experience in the role. If the Bucs want a FB on the roster he will be the guy. C

Overall the Bucs came away with 3 probable starters after getting 4 last year so Lichts work in the draft is encouraging. The only thing anyone will talk about is the kicker thing and that's fine.

I've started to drink the Aguayo Kool-Aid so I guess I agree with all this but would like to add SPENCE SPENCE SPENCE!

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer

wandler20 posted:

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Team needs going into the draft: DE, CB, S, DT, K, WR

Round 1, Pick 11 - Vernon Hargreaves III, CB, Florida: Fills an obvious need considering how bad the Bucs secondary was last year. The Bucs have talent at CB but Grimes is pretty old and might not be good anymore. Hargreaves will probably start as a nickel/dime back behind Grimes, Verner, and Banks. He is a bit undersized but those types of players seem to be ok in Mike Smith's system. Bucs traded down 2 spots and picked up an extra 4th round pick here as well. B

Round 2, Pick 39 - Noah Spence, DE, Eastern Kentucky: His character concerns seem to be behind him and was an Ohio State transfer. Spence is probably the Bucs best pure pass rushing end already, which doesn't say much for the roster. All the Bucs really need him to do is be a pass rusher and he's arguably the best in this draft class. It's been since Simeon Rice in 2005 since the Bucs had a double digit sack end. I love this pick. A

Round 2, Pick 59 - Roberto Aguayo, K, Florida State: By far the most polarizing pick in the entire draft and I love this pick. The Bucs kickers were awful last year and cost the team 2 games. Combined, Bucs kickers missed 11 field goals and 4 PATs last season. The Bucs addressed this issue by getting the most accurate kicker in NCAA history. He also has more power than people realize. Another overlooked thing is the fact that touchbacks are now moved to the 25 yard line. One of the things Aguayo did best at FSU was pinning return men with high hang time kicks (4+ seconds) in the corner near the end zone. Countless times he did this and it left teams with poor field position to start with. All the Bucs really gave up to move here was the 4th round pick they got for trading down in the first so it wasn't much. B

Round 4, Pick 108 - Ryan Smith, S, North Carolina Central: A small school sleeper who may be a bit undersized to play Safety, which the team said he is starting out at. He played CB his last year but has experience playing safety. He'll be a project who can hopefully help our awful safety group down the road. He does have some KR experience as well. C

Round 5, Pick 148 - Caleb Benenoch, OL, UCLA: Versatile lineman which the Bucs love. Can play inside or outside. He'll need some time to develop and could potentially take over at RT in a couple years. Not high expectation here. C

Round 6, Pick 183 - Devante Bond, OLB, Oklahoma: Depth/ST selection here. The Bucs opted to not bring back some of the veteran LBs so this pick makes sense. Undersized but athletic guy. Should make the roster. C

Round 6, Pick 197 - Dan Vitale, FB, Northwestern: I had a feeling they'd end up with Vitale as they flirted with him in the pre draft process quite a bit. Might be more of an H-Back than a traditional FB as he has good hands and experience in the role. If the Bucs want a FB on the roster he will be the guy. C

Overall the Bucs came away with 3 probable starters after getting 4 last year so Lichts work in the draft is encouraging. The only thing anyone will talk about is the kicker thing and that's fine.

I'm trying to get on the Aguayo train but I still can't stop thinking "kicker in the second round...and you traded up to get him? What the gently caress" Yeah yeah he's super great and all that and the Bucs kicking game was poo poo last year, but I can't shake the feeling it was too much to give up for him.

He's a kicker. In the second round.

The first time he misses an easy kick people are going to burn his house down.

dirty shrimp money
Jan 8, 2001

HOUSTON :c: :c: :c: FIGHTING IRISH :c: :c: :c:

Team Needs Going Into Draft - MORE FIGHTING IRISH

1st round - Will Fulller, WR, Notre Dame - He's a fast ball dropper, drops the ball but not the dope, but he's from NOTRE DAME SO HE'S AN OKAY KID

2nd round - Nick Martin, C, Notre Dame - He can play all sorts of interior lineman things, and he's ALSO FROM NOTRE DAME SO HE'S AN OKAY. TWO FOR TWO FOLKS STIR UP THE ECHOS

3rd round - Braxton Miller, WR, A Team Kind of Like Notre Dame - The franchise QB of the future, but he's from Ohio which is one state away from Notre Dame. CLOSE ENOUGH, COUNT IT

4th round - Tyler Ervin, RB, Over There By Stanford - He's from over there where Stanford is, didn't go to Stanford, he sucks.

5th round - K.J. Dillon, S, Mountainy Notre Dame - West Virginia is just the same as Notre Dame, it has mountains and religion and stuff, COUNT IT DAMMIT

5th round again - D.J. Reader, Definitely Not Notre Dame - Never mind this camp body, he's not from Notre Dame.


Notable undrafted - Nobody, as none are from Notre Dame.

dirty shrimp money fucked around with this message at 20:24 on May 3, 2016

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Gettleman pretty much came out and said the Norman deal forced his draft philosophy to change on day 2. This was the secondary draft.

Round 1, pick 30: Vernon Butler, DT, Louisiana Tech - Biggest, fastest, strongest guy available. Blew the Panthers and competition away at the Senior Bowl. He'll rotate in and contribute to probably the best front seven in football. Stupid loving strong, late physical bloomer. Keeps all those nasty blockers off Kuechly, Thompson, and Davis. Provides leverage against upcoming Star and Short contracts, and insurance when one of them inevitably leaves. Gettleman was in NY when they kep drafting lineman, and he's doing the same thing here. A+ would draft again.

Round 2, pick 62: James Bradberry, CB, Samford - Now the weird stuff starts. The Panthers were the only team that worked him out. There was some fear Philadelphia was going to jump in here and draft him for some reason. The Panthers liked his size and athleticism, which is again all Gettleman really looks for. I can't really add anything on this kid.

Round 3, pick 77: Daryl Worley, CB, West Virginia - This guy though, hoo boy. He actually played some good receivers, and covered Kevin White in practice. The pundit-sphere claims he'll adapt quickly to the Panthers sytem, and again, he has all the physical tools the Panthers love. Has some uh character concerns however, so we'll see how that goes. Probably the right place to draft this guy. Traded up to get him, just basically swapping fifths with Cleveland and losing a fourth. Meh.

Round 5, pick 141*: Zack Sanchez, CB, Oklahoma - small slot corner. loving ball hawk at Oklahoma. Can't imagine him making any kind of immediate impact. Draft in the right spot.

Round 7, pick 252: Beau Sandland, TE, Montana State - big white dude who can't block but catches a poo poo ton. Played at Miami for a year. Basically fishing for the next Greg Olsen but lol let's be real.

UDFA special notes

Duke S Jeremy Cash - so loving money. Great college football player. Kinda was a hybrid linebacker/safety. ACC Defensive player of the year. Had some weird wrist injury issues, also a little small. Guarantee this guy makes the team and contributes.

Tulsa WR Keyarris Garrett - big, fast, led the nation in receiving yards. Has no idea how to play football. Will hopefully stash him on the practice squad and let Ricky Proehl work his magic.

Overall

A weird draft. I don't really mind throwing that much draft capital at one position and hoping it sticks. That said, Bradberry was probably taken too high, though the defense was that all corners were getting pushed up the board. My money would be on Worley to finish ahead of him, though ideally none would start right away.

The Panthers didn't get a running back or any notable offensive lineman.

Probably a C+/B- overall

Panthers took a bunch of projects that fit their system and don't really stand out. It's difficult to see how these guys will progress. They're luckily in a very forgiving setting for secondary player. Butler is going to loving own.

fsif
Jul 18, 2003

The Buffalo Bills

This dumb idiot team somehow managed to find an offense, only to switch the scheme of their actually good defense because of its moron buffoon coach. The Bills now somehow desperately need defensive players.

Round 1: Shaq Lawson, OLB/DE, Clemson
The Bills needed someone opposite of Jerry Hughes to replace Mario Williams and got one of the draft's better prospects. He loves playing for Rex already because he said it's basically Clemson Part 2 ("all in"). Will probably be willing to do the stuff Mario wasn't. I'm guessing—based on nothing in particular—he'll end up being a solid starter/fringe Pro Bowler, a la Brian Orakpo. A relatively safe pick that filled a huge need.

Grade: A-

Round 2: Reggie Ragland, LB, Alabama
Good rear end pick, worth the trade up. Everyone seemed to have a first round grade on him and he fills a huge need. Critics say that he's a throwback linebacker and won't do as well now as he would have in 2004 (something of a thumper, not as quick as other linebackers), but what the hell do they know?

Grade: A

Round 3: Adolphus Washington, DE, Ohio State
Great name and he got busted in a prostitution sting. That's Buffalo Bills football. He was productive in college and should be able to move all along the line.

Grade: A-

Round 4: Cardale Jones, QB, Ohio State
Cardale Jones owns because of that tweet. Lots of physical ability, but incredibly raw and he'll probably never be a good quarterback. The Bills will need a back up after EJ leaves and you might as well swing for the fences. Way more exciting than drafting a boring dude with a Matt Moore-like ceiling. I want to give this pick an A+ because they chose an intriguing QB prospect at the very rear end end of the fourth round, but then that will be misinterpreted as me predicting that he will succeed (he won't), so I'm going to just say B.

Grade: B (but really A+)

Round 5: Jonathan Williams, RB, Arkansas
He was good before he got hurt. Breaks a lot of tackles and whatever. More of a bruiser than a speed guy. Doesn't seem like he'll have an obvious spot on the roster immediately, but McCoy is getting old and Karlos Williams gets hurt all the time, so I would be shocked if he doesn't see play this season.

Grade: B+

Round 6: Kolby Listenbee, WR, TCU
He ran a 4.39s 40. His route-running is suspect I guess. Whatever, he's fast and Tyrod has a great deep ball. Hopefully he's more productive than our last speedster, Marquise Goodwin. Sixth round, though, so why not?

Grade: B

Round 7: Kevon Seymour, CB, USC
Just some guy. Has some special teams experience as a returner and gunner, so maybe he can do a thing, idk.

Grade: B if his name is pronounced "keh-VONN", D if it's pronounced like "Kevin"

Overall: A

I've never been as high on a Bills draft in my life. I'm sure most of the players will end up busting because I'm not allowed to enjoy football, but we didn't reach for a Torrell Troup or an EJ Manuel this year and pretty much every write up has had good things to say about all of their selections.

Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
Will Jackson III is a good first round pick. If Dre Kirkpatrick sucks this year (he will), we let him walk and maybe start Jackson next year depending on what's up with darqueze dennard. Added bonus of taking BPA, as well as taking the best corner on the board one pick ahead of the steelers. Solid B+, raised to an A- for making GBS threads on Pittsburgh.

Tyler Boyd, I wasn't too enamored with at first, but if Brandon lafell...don't laugh...can avoid completely making GBS threads himself on the outside, Boyd should be a good 3rd/4th option in the slot. He's a little undersized for the division, and he's definitely going to eat a concussion on an unflagged shazier cheap shot and miss some games. Drafting for need is not a position the Bengals find themselves in a lot. I don't hate it, but given how we didn't really have a lot of holes other than WR, would have liked to see us try and move up for a guy like sterling Shepard. B- as a player, D+ for the eventual shot of him unconscious as Mike Mitchell does a crotch chop over his body.

Nick vigil got some comparisons to kuechely, mostly because he's a white linebacker. Kind of a reach but I love the idea of this dude replacing rey maualugas disappointing rear end in a year. I haven't watched any tape of him but I can imagine him filling that Pat angerer role of "white lb with great football name who gets a million tackles and no other stats". B

Andrew Billings is an incredible value in the 4th round. Ate 266 pancakes in one sitting. Will look mighty fine next to Geno Atkins in the future, and will definitely see some rotational play this year. Ate 266 pancakes in one sitting. Excited to see him eat buck white for breakfast. A+ value, A pick. Ate 266 pancakes in one sitting.

Christian Westerman is an upgrade at backup G/C. Some people are clamoring for him to compete with Russell bodine at starting C but it's not gonna happen. Depending on what happens with Kevin Zeitler he could be in line for some playing time next year. Great value for a 5th rounder. B+

Cody Core has a terrible football name. Presumably the Bengals took him after watching a lot of laquon Treadwell tape. Probably a special teams dude at best but who knows, if Mario Alford doesn't pan out we could see him returning kicks in a year or two. C+, whatever.

We took a safety in the 7th and I can't spell his name. Either him or last year's 6th round safety will make the team. Who knows man. INC

Overall I like this draft a lot except for Boyd. I like him as a player but the afc North is filled with insane murderous linebackers, which is why we went for big dudes like Mo Sanu and Marvin Jones last time. His size concerns me. Would have liked to see a DE somewhere in there but we only had 7 picks. With margus hunt almost up and totally useless and will Clarke making no impression at all, we probably go DE in the first two rounds next year. I love the Billings pick.

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!

FizFashizzle posted:

Probably a C+/B- overall

Panthers took a bunch of projects that fit their system and don't really stand out. It's difficult to see how these guys will progress. They're luckily in a very forgiving setting for secondary player. Butler is going to loving own.

I think you are nuts. You had a fantastic team before the draft and got relatively fair value at most of your picks while addressing the only real hole on your team. In addition you added tremendous upside depth at DL, which is how you win championships. Panthers draft is a B+ or better imo

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







The biggest hole for the panthers is the one Von Miller kept prancing through.

Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013
I liked all of the Chargers selections except for the Derek Watt one. Bosa probably isn't a guy that will give you 10+ sacks a year, but he's certainly a capable pass rusher and I love his game against the run, which is important for the Chargers because they've been so awful at run D for a while. He can line up inside, outside and offers a lot of flexibility in that regard. Perry and Brown give them some addition flexibility as ILB depth on top of this - Perry is a thumper and could really help Perryman and the d-line out against the run, while Brown is probably going to be an immediate ST ace and could be very good in pass coverage with some experience.

Meanwhile Hunter Henry and Max Tuerk help the offense out, both in the short and long term. I really love Tuerk, he wasn't physically the strongest C in the draft, but he's really athletic and covers a lot of ground when he's going to the second level in a run play or screen, and hopefully he will help pick up on the A-gap blitz. Having a center unable to do those three things have absolutely killed the Chargers the last couple of seasons, so even if he's merely a competent player, he's still already a massive upgrade over Watt/Robinson. Henry probably isn't going to catch a lot of passes this year, but he'll be Gates' heir apparent and based on what I saw of him, he looks like a good blocker. The Chargers haven't had a TE than can do that in the running game in forever.

Overall i'm quite happy with the Chargers draft, totally the opposite from last season. It concerns me that they didn't address safety at all, but maybe they're rolling with the idea that their front 7 + their very good CB group can make up for it.

warcrimes
Jul 6, 2013

I don't know what's it called, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a J4G's life. :parrot: :parrot: :parrot: :parrot:

JIZZ DENOUEMENT posted:

I think you are nuts. You had a fantastic team before the draft and got relatively fair value at most of your picks while addressing the only real hole on your team. In addition you added tremendous upside depth at DL, which is how you win championships. Panthers draft is a B+ or better imo

How many O-linemen were drafted?

Shadowhand00
Jan 23, 2006

Golden Bear is ever watching; day by day he prowls, and when he hears the tread of lowly Stanfurd red,from his Lair he fiercely growls.
Toilet Rascal

seiferguy posted:



Round 7, Pick 22 (243) – Kenny Lawler, WR, Cal: Tall, stocky WR with big hands, decent speed that was one of Jared Goff’s favorite targets. He has good speed, but is a little inconsistent in his route runs. Overall, though he looks to be really good value in round 7, and I could easily see him being the 4th WR after Baldwin, Lockett, and Kearse. Grade: B+

Only thing I'd change here is that Lawler is super skinny rather than stocky:

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Boyd is basically Sanu down to the poo poo QB play. Cole is basically James Wright. Bengals have a type and these days you can basically find a parallel for every pick they make.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


wandler20 posted:

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Round 6, Pick 197 - Dan Vitale, FB, Northwestern: I had a feeling they'd end up with Vitale as they flirted with him in the pre draft process quite a bit. Might be more of an H-Back than a traditional FB as he has good hands and experience in the role. If the Bucs want a FB on the roster he will be the guy. C

Overall the Bucs came away with 3 probable starters after getting 4 last year so Lichts work in the draft is encouraging. The only thing anyone will talk about is the kicker thing and that's fine.

Vitale owns a lot, literally the only receiving threat for the 'Cats last year with their putrid mummy quarterback and he still was fantastic. Dude destroyed the combine as well. If Koetter can find a way to use a super-athletic fullback who spent a lot of time in college in the slot, he'll be good.

warcrimes
Jul 6, 2013

I don't know what's it called, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a J4G's life. :parrot: :parrot: :parrot: :parrot:

kiimo posted:

Mojave Desert Raiders


As always with my :effort: posts, play this whilst reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPLmxtiVOe0


Round 1: Karl Joseph, S, WVU

The best safety in the draft, Joseph's highlight real is a clinic in hard hits and tackling- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1P-kg0gXIs. Considered an overdraft at 14, he probably is a top ten pick if he hadn't torn his ACL in practice after the fourth game this past season. His coverage skills have improved every year(five INTs in those four games) but he'll probably cover slots in nickel packages. Great character, great work ethic and studies film like a :spergin:, this kid is going to be a stud in the league and gives the Raiders future star presence in the backfield.

Grade: A+


Round 2: Jihad Ward, DT/DE, Illinois

Ward is a physical specimen in the mold of last year's second round pick, Mario Edwards, Jr. 6' 5", 295 lbs, he started his career as a WR but kept growing while keeping a lot of his speed and agility. He has very good footwork for a man his size and never quits on a play. Definitely a project(he's only played D-line for two years), the Raiders are confident they can mold him into a very good football mans. His scheme versatility is something McKenzie covets, he can play the 3- and 5-technique and although he didn't have a great stat season last year, he still earned Honorable Mention in the Big 10 and is one of PFF's highest rated run defenders coming out of college. Another pick considered a reach(I was hoping the Raiders would draft him but figured it would be in third or fourth round if it happened), I'll give give McKenzie the benefit of the doubt for now.

Grade: B-


Round 3: Shilique Calhoun, Edge, Michigan State

Instant member of the All-Name Team, Calhoun is a three-time second team All American who finished his college career with 27 sacks. While a BPA pick, he'll play Leo and join Khalil Mack and Bruce Irvin in the edge rusher rotation. The Raiders desperately needed more sack production out of anyone not named Mack and have really addressed that nicely in the off-season. Another high character/work ethic guy who needs some refinement but is great value in the third round.

Grade: A


Round 4: Motherfuckin' Connor Cook, QB, Michigan State

lol



Cock blocking the Cowboys(e: and Chiefs, maybe) by leveraging a pick they gave us for a lovely WR gives this pick an instant A+. I guess he also gives us depth as Matt "I'm Garbage" McGloin is a UFA next year and Cook can possibly be traded in a couple years. Was by far McKenzie's BPA and also caused a lot of tears from Raider goons so this is like some kind of triple gold medal poo poo.

Grade: A+


Round 5: DeAndre Washington, RB, Texas Tech

I originally compared this 5' 8" 208 lb. ball of muscle to Gio Bernard but a better comp is Maurice Jones-Drew. A perfect complement to Latavius Murray, he'll give us the third down options Ray Helu was supposed to last year. PFF had him ranked as the fourth most elusive collegiate RB. We still need a bruiser-type goal line guy, though.

Grade: B


Round 6: Corey James, LB, Colorado State

A special teams player who gives solid depth at the LB spot. Nothing special although did have 24 sacks in his college career while playing edge and MLB for the Rams. Again, McKenzie is a huge fan of versatility.

Grade: B


Round 7: Vadal Alexander, G, LSU

Depending on who you talked to, Alexander was supposed to go between rounds 2-4. Teams were turned off by his lack of speed and he dropped all the way to the seventh. He'll make the team for sure- another high motor guy who finishes his blocks and played two years at guard and two years at tackle, giving McKenzie yet another versatile guy. I don't normally grade seventh rounders but...

Grade: A


Not as sexy as the past two drafts, McKenzie made the most of his mid-round picks, stuck to his board and got one starter, three key contributors and three much needed depth guys. RM's theme of hard working, high character, scheme versatile players was carried from round one to the end. A solid, solid draft.

Overall grade: B+

warcrimes fucked around with this message at 01:37 on May 4, 2016

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

Anaranjado posted:

Will Jackson III - B+, (raised to an A- for making GBS threads on Pittsburgh)

Tyler Boyd - B-, (D+ for the eventual shot of him unconscious as Mike Mitchell does a crotch chop over his body)

Nick Vigil - B

Andrew Billings - A+

Christian Westerman - B+

Cody Core - C+

Clayton Fejedelem - INC

Mostly agreed except with what was available, and considering all factors, I like Jackson as potentially the best pick in that spot and give it an A.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

warcrimes posted:

Mojave Desert Raiders

Fixed.

Chromatic
Jan 21, 2005

You guys ready to hear a satanic song?
Short term : C
Long term: B?

Chiefs drafted a bunch of guys who will take time to develop and some of them will probably be depth at best throughout their careers.

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost
Browns: Browns Browned their way to a Browning grade of B for Browns.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

Chromatic posted:

Short term : C
Long term: B?

Chiefs drafted a bunch of guys who will take time to develop and some of them will probably be depth at best throughout their careers.


Jones and Russell will be starting by the time the wind cools.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
Voted 1 because you didn't call the thread Rate Your D Pick

Chromatic
Jan 21, 2005

You guys ready to hear a satanic song?

kiimo posted:

Jones and Russell will be starting by the time the wind cools.

Russell I can sorta see but Jones? I can see him rotating with Poe but not starting. D-line is def going to be Bailey, Poe, and Howard.

Really going to be hard to run on those guys. Even though they lost the Vikings game it was fun seeing Jaye Howard absolutely smother AP on seemingly every other play. I think he ended up with 2ypc that game.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

In this case I think "starting" for d-line is a weird qualifying term that I shouldn't have used. Jones can play all the d-line positions and will. Right away. He can go nose and put Poe out on DE. That could be fun. He'll be all over the line and easily pick up whatever slack losing Devito causes. His main "con" is that he isn't conditioned enough and started to get tired. Welp. That's not a problem as a rotational NFL d-lineman. I think he's going to dominate.

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
Everyone my team picked A+
Everyone your team picked C+

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
I'm sad that ToyMachine doesn't post anymore because seeing all those A+ Raiders draft grades for the past 10 years was great

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


YOU CHICAGO BEARS 2016 DRAFT FROM NFL DRAFT EXPERT R.D. MANGLES

Leonard Floyd, LB UGA: Never saw a second of this guy play. I didn't know people were still being named Leonard.

Cody Whitehair, G, Kansas State: Never saw a second of this guy play. Look at this guy's hair though.

NOT A SINGLE WHITE HAIR. DISINGENUOUS. FRAUDULENT. CHARACTER CONCERN.

Jonathan Bullard, DE, Florida: Never saw a second of this guy play. Muschamp-era Florida is no better preparation for Bears football and getting screamed at by a purple-faced maniac with a dumb haircut is essentially a Chicago simulation. Great fit.

Nick Kwiatkoski, LB West Virginia: Never saw a second of this guy play. I think he was drafted by the collective will of Chicago sports radio callers.

Deon Bush, S, Da U: Actually probably saw this guy play but don't remember. Not the year to pick up a Bush from Miami, imo.

Deiondre' Hall, CB, Northern Iowa: Never saw a second of this guy play. He is tall, which is good for when the ball is thrown, in the air. Great pick.

DeAndre Houston-Carson, S, William and Mary: Never saw a second of this guy play. Looking forward to the Houston-Cardon/Jones-Quartey camp battle.

Daniel Braverman, WR, Western Michigan: Never saw a second of this guy play because he was apparently hurt when THE BOAT came to Evanston. But this dude owns, he is small and shifty, and clowned people in college and I hope he makes the team, incredible pick. Also:

FOR SOME REASON

R.D. Mangles fucked around with this message at 03:13 on May 4, 2016

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president

warcrimes posted:

As always with my :effort: posts, play this whilst reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPLmxtiVOe0


Round 1: Karl Joseph, S, WVU

The best safety in the draft, Joseph's highlight real is a clinic in hard hits and tackling- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1P-kg0gXIs. Considered an overdraft at 14, he probably is a top ten pick if he hadn't torn his ACL in practice after the fourth game this past season. His coverage skills have improved every year(five INTs in those four games) but he'll probably cover slots in nickel packages. Great character, great work ethic and studies film like a :spergin:, this kid is going to be a stud in the league and gives the Raiders future star presence in the backfield.

Grade: A+


Round 2: Jihad Ward, DT/DE, Illinois

Ward is a physical specimen in the mold of last year's second round pick, Mario Edwards, Jr. 6' 5", 295 lbs, he started his career as a WR but kept growing while keeping a lot of his speed and agility. He has very good footwork for a man his size and never quits on a play. Definitely a project(he's only played D-line for two years), the Raiders are confident they can mold him into a very good football mans. His scheme versatility is something McKenzie covets, he can play the 3- and 5-technique and although he didn't have a great stat season last year, he still earned Honorable Mention in the Big 10 and is one of PFF's highest rated run defenders coming out of college. Another pick considered a reach(I was hoping the Raiders would draft him but figured it would be in third or fourth round if it happened), I'll give give McKenzie the benefit of the doubt for now.

Grade: B-


Round 3: Shilique Calhoun, Edge, Michigan State

Instant member of the All-Name Team, Calhoun is a three-time second team All American who finished his college career with 27 sacks. While a BPA pick, he'll play Leo and join Khalil Mack and Bruce Irvin in the edge rusher rotation. The Raiders desperately needed more sack production out of anyone not named Mack and have really addressed that nicely in the off-season. Another high character/work ethic guy who needs some refinement but is great value in the third round.

Grade: A


Round 4: Motherfuckin' Connor Cook, QB, Michigan State

lol


Cock blocking the Cowboys(e: and Chiefs, maybe) by leveraging a pick they gave us for a lovely WR gives this pick an instant A+. I guess he also gives us depth as Matt "I'm Garbage" McGloin is a UFA next year and Cook can possibly be traded in a couple years. Was by far McKenzie's BPA and also caused a lot of tears from Raider goons so this is like some kind of triple gold medal poo poo.

Grade: A+


Round 5: DeAndre Washington, RB, Texas Tech

I originally compared this 5' 8" 208 lb. ball of muscle to Gio Bernard but a better comp is Maurice Jones-Drew. A perfect complement to Latavius Murray, he'll give us the third down options Ray Helu was supposed to last year. PFF had him ranked as the fourth most elusive collegiate RB. We still need a bruiser-type goal line guy, though.

Grade: B


Round 6: Corey James, LB, Colorado State

A special teams player who gives solid depth at the LB spot. Nothing special although did have 24 sacks in his college career while playing edge and MLB for the Rams. Again, McKenzie is a huge fan of versatility.

Grade: B


Round 7: Vadal Alexander, G, LSU

Depending on who you talked to, Alexander was supposed to go between rounds 2-4. Teams were turned off by his lack of speed and he dropped all the way to the seventh. He'll make the team for sure- another high motor guy who finishes his blocks and played two years at guard and two years at tackle, giving McKenzie yet another versatile guy. I don't normally grade seventh rounders but...

Grade: A


Not as sexy as the past two drafts, McKenzie made the most of his mid-round picks, stuck to his board and got one starter, three key contributors and three much needed depth guys. RM's theme of hard working, high character, scheme versatile players was carried from round one to the end. A solid, solid draft.

Overall grade: B+

I love love love the Vadal Alexander and Shilique Calhoun picks. Karl Joseph is a draft crush of mine (but in the first round?). What the hell is with Reggie picking projects in the second round? We have enough data points to make a trendline here

warcrimes
Jul 6, 2013

I don't know what's it called, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a J4G's life. :parrot: :parrot: :parrot: :parrot:
R.D. Mangles, Quality Poster, Something Awful Forums: A+

Its Rinaldo
Aug 13, 2010

CODS BINCH
Is the Jags assessment just them cumming all over the place because of the first two rounds?

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
Chicago destroyed this draft as well. Jax, Chicago, Oakland are all crushing it. Arg.

Real Miami breakdown-

Tunsil : A+++++
Best lineman and some argue best overall player in the draft. At 13. After trading down for Maxwell and Alonso. Huge value from our #1 pick

Howard : C
Not great. He's got the makeup of a corner we want (6'2 208 per combine) but honestly I'm not loving it. He needs a lot of technical coaching. He makes great plays then makes stupid plays. Saying that is literally sign number 1 a guy will bust

Drake : C
When healthy he's very dynamic and a Matt forte style running back. He's rarely healthy.

Carroo : A
He's like Jarvis Landry but faster and bigger. He's a great receiver for Tannehill to use. But I'm nervous this means no more Stills and I think Stills is a great deep threat

Jakeem Grant : B
I like this midget. Very dynamic as a return man. Fastest guy in the draft and super shifty. Will take duties away from Landry which is great

The rest won't make the team

Aniki
Mar 21, 2001

Wouldn't fit...
1 (23) WR Laquon Treadwell, Ole Miss:: The Vikings have needed a big X receiver for a long time and while there are some indications they were enamored with Coleman and Fuller, other teams thankfully forced the Vikings to make the right decision and take Treadwell. The Vikings really didn't have any receivers who attack the ball and make contested catches, so Treadwell will give Teddy a much needed reliable target. He's also someone who is faster on the field than in workouts and the team feels that he is still regaining speed, so should be able to stretch the field too, though more with 50/50 balls where he can utilize his size, strength, and huge catch radius. He's also a tremendous run blocker, which will definitely have value in the Vikings run heavy offense.

2 (23) CB Mackensie Alexander, Clemson:: Some people were surprised by this pick, but I actually thought that corner was a bigger need for the Vikings than many realized. It's likely that neither Newman nor Munnerlyn will be back in 2017, you can never have enough good corners, and slot corners are essentially starters now. I think Alexander is a case of someone the Vikings weren't expecting to be there and even though he lacks ideal height, he has long arms, and plays exactly the type of coverage that Zimmer wants. Tight coverage and his goal to deny his receiver from catching the ball. Zimmer preaches tight coverage and limiting completions over taking risks to force turnovers. Excellent fit.

4 (23) G/T Willie Beavers, Western Michigan:: My least favorite pick of the draft. Beavers is capable of playing both guard and tackle, though the Vikings intend to start him out at guard. Good feet, had his best games against Ohio State and Michigan State, but he's a project, who will need a lot of coaching. The Vikings do have much better OL coaching now with Sparano, but they also have 16+ offensive linemen on the roster, so even as a 4th round draft pick, he has an uphill battle to make the roster. I don't mind spending a pick on the OL, but I was hoping for a center and I think that the DT Billings who went next would have been a better pick.

5 (21) MLB Kentrell Brothers, Missouri:: As Mayock mentioned, he's the kind of player that would have been a much higher pick a few years ago, but Brothers slid because of the emphasis on coverage ability and athleticism for linebackers. He's a very good run defender, which is a big need, takes excellent angles to the ball, and should pair well with Barr and Kendricks.

6 (6) WR Moritz Böhringer, Germany:: Böhring has been ad nauseam. Great athletic ability, still new to football, and he's the type of raw athlete that the Vikings like to develop. I could see him taking a year or two to develop, if at all, but he's also the type of guy that I don't think they can hide on the practice squad, so the pick could spell the end for Charles Johnson.

6 (13) TE David Morgan, UTSA:: Small school prospect who is known as the best blocking TE in college football and has shown to have enough athleticism to be a decent checkdown option. This is a good pick given that their primary blocking TE, Rhett Ellison is coming off of a knee injury and even if healthy, Turner likes to run out of multi TE sets, so he should be a nice piece to have.

7 (6) DE Stephen Weatherly, Vanderbilt:: This is such a Zimmer pick. Raw pass rusher, with great athleticism, and is tall with long arms. Similar players Zimmer has picked are Anthony Barr, Danielle Hunter, and Edmond Robinson. Weatherly is also apparently exceptionally smart. He plays 8 instruments, builds robots, and his Grandma has degrees from Harvard and MIT. A good player to take a chance on given their ability to develop talent on defense.

7 (23) S Jayron Kearse, Clemson:: At one point, the media view Kearse as 1st round prospect, but teams obviously felt very different about him. He was knocked for inconsistent effort, poor positioning, not having elite athleticism, and maybe defenses have issues utilizing huge safeties. That being said, Kearse did show flashes of being a good player and when you look at Kearse's combine numbers and measurements, he is extremely similar to George Iloka (Jayron Kearse | George Iloka). Zimmer was apparently banging the table for a couple rounds to take Kearse, so getting him in the 7th represents excellent value. Kearse has a ton to prove, but Minnesota is the best possible situation for him and I'd love to see Zimmer mold him into another Iloka, but as 7th rounder on a deep team, he's got a lot of work ahead of him to make the roster.

Future Picks:

The Vikings traded their 3rd rounder this year to Miami for their 3rd and 4th round picks next season. The 4th is conditional, they are getting a pick for sure, just a question if it's Miami's own 4th rounder or a compensatory 4th rounder if Miami is awarded one. This is a great move, since the Vikings have a deep roster and it will be tough for young players to make the team this year. That being said, they are expected to have some roster turnover in 201, so the extra picks give them the ability to maneuver in the 2017 draft, say for an OT or a HB, or it will allow them to build up depth as they let older players and some offensive linemen go.

warcrimes
Jul 6, 2013

I don't know what's it called, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a J4G's life. :parrot: :parrot: :parrot: :parrot:

Blitz7x posted:

I love love love the Vadal Alexander and Shilique Calhoun picks. Karl Joseph is a draft crush of mine (but in the first round?). What the hell is with Reggie picking projects in the second round? We have enough data points to make a trendline here

Atlanta would have grabbed Joseph three picks later. So I'm absolutely fine with him at 14. Did you watch that YouTube? I love this kid.

If Mario Edwards had never happened I'd be worried about the Ward pick. JDR gushed about him in the post draft presser, so I'm not too worried.

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president

warcrimes posted:

Atlanta would have grabbed Joseph three picks later. So I'm absolutely fine with him at 14. Did you watch that YouTube? I love this kid.

If Mario Edwards had never happened I'd be worried about the Ward pick. JDR gushed about him in the post draft presser, so I'm not too worried.

I'm just really trying to not to be a homer. In my head I've already construed all of these players as potential HoFers but but my tff reputation

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?

R.D. Mangles posted:

Vitale owns a lot, literally the only receiving threat for the 'Cats last year with their putrid mummy quarterback and he still was fantastic. Dude destroyed the combine as well. If Koetter can find a way to use a super-athletic fullback who spent a lot of time in college in the slot, he'll be good.

Yeah, I did some more reading on him after I posted this and he's probably going to stick. He actually switched his number to 85 or something so he will probably be used like an h back.

Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS

fsif posted:

The Buffalo Bills

This dumb idiot team somehow managed to find an offense, only to switch the scheme of their actually good defense because of its moron buffoon coach. The Bills now somehow desperately need defensive players.

Round 1: Shaq Lawson, OLB/DE, Clemson
The Bills needed someone opposite of Jerry Hughes to replace Mario Williams and got one of the draft's better prospects. He loves playing for Rex already because he said it's basically Clemson Part 2 ("all in"). Will probably be willing to do the stuff Mario wasn't. I'm guessing—based on nothing in particular—he'll end up being a solid starter/fringe Pro Bowler, a la Brian Orakpo. A relatively safe pick that filled a huge need.

Grade: A-

Round 2: Reggie Ragland, LB, Alabama
Good rear end pick, worth the trade up. Everyone seemed to have a first round grade on him and he fills a huge need. Critics say that he's a throwback linebacker and won't do as well now as he would have in 2004 (something of a thumper, not as quick as other linebackers), but what the hell do they know?

Grade: A

Round 3: Adolphus Washington, DE, Ohio State
Great name and he got busted in a prostitution sting. That's Buffalo Bills football. He was productive in college and should be able to move all along the line.

Grade: A-

Round 4: Cardale Jones, QB, Ohio State
Cardale Jones owns because of that tweet. Lots of physical ability, but incredibly raw and he'll probably never be a good quarterback. The Bills will need a back up after EJ leaves and you might as well swing for the fences. Way more exciting than drafting a boring dude with a Matt Moore-like ceiling. I want to give this pick an A+ because they chose an intriguing QB prospect at the very rear end end of the fourth round, but then that will be misinterpreted as me predicting that he will succeed (he won't), so I'm going to just say B.

Grade: B (but really A+)

Round 5: Jonathan Williams, RB, Arkansas
He was good before he got hurt. Breaks a lot of tackles and whatever. More of a bruiser than a speed guy. Doesn't seem like he'll have an obvious spot on the roster immediately, but McCoy is getting old and Karlos Williams gets hurt all the time, so I would be shocked if he doesn't see play this season.

Grade: B+

Round 6: Kolby Listenbee, WR, TCU
He ran a 4.39s 40. His route-running is suspect I guess. Whatever, he's fast and Tyrod has a great deep ball. Hopefully he's more productive than our last speedster, Marquise Goodwin. Sixth round, though, so why not?

Grade: B

Round 7: Kevon Seymour, CB, USC
Just some guy. Has some special teams experience as a returner and gunner, so maybe he can do a thing, idk.

Grade: B if his name is pronounced "keh-VONN", D if it's pronounced like "Kevin"

Overall: A

I've never been as high on a Bills draft in my life. I'm sure most of the players will end up busting because I'm not allowed to enjoy football, but we didn't reach for a Torrell Troup or an EJ Manuel this year and pretty much every write up has had good things to say about all of their selections.
10/10, would read post again.
Maybe Kolby Listenbee will break the curse of Bills speed receivers and stay healthy? Hopefully he'll be good too.

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JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!

warcrimes posted:

How many O-linemen were drafted?

I don't think giving up pressure to a historically great defense in one (albeit important) game is cause for much alarm. The offensive line wasn't bad during the regular season. Whereas the CB situation was relatively alarming, and is a more easily exploited weakness. Most draft picks don't pan out, so I really like shotgun'ing the position of need with many picks and hopefully one pans out sooner rather than later.

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