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youre out with your maiden and a mugger walks out from a corner with a knife pointed at you in some idiotic slurred half understandable accent he blurts out "??? wallet! Cash! ??? watch! Gay shine thing around your head pipe thing!! NOW!!" what the heck is a gentlegoon supposed to do.. right? no. child's play. naturally, he strikes back before the cretin mug-lord even realizes it. if you have an umbrella, great, you're set. just unsheathe your hidden blade from it and slice the perp in half as soon as he blinks or looks away from you. problem solved (most badass way to do it also most illegal but who cares pay off the coppers haha) if not.. gently caress.. you might want to give him your poo poo.. Unless you PREPARED like any sane gentlegoon would be: This thread is for gentlegoon street smart tips, survival, defense, tricks.. anything to let a goon adapt to the street life many of us noble souls are forced to participate in. I'll start it off with a classic: we all wear hankerchiefs, but did you know you can use it as a weapon? Simply liberally pour drain cleaner (the higher strength lye possible the better) over a damp hankie until saturated and place it into your front coat pocket and let dry. If a mugger confronts you, all you have to do is make up an excuse, say, reply to his threat with something in the fashion of: "my fat wad of cash is in this here front pocket with the hankerchief, yes the towel thing, I'll get it for you now!" and that's when you strike, pull it out quick (lye hankie) towards his face and enjoy the split second of his contorting face as he instantly goes blind from the flying, dried lye crystals making sweet dissolving action with his wet eyeball juices, yes, loving losing his mugger vision forever. lye fucks you up! close your eyes and don't inhale when you swipe it at him! when he's curled up at your feet letting out inhuman shrieks and clutching his ruined eyes, call the cops and walk away at a strolling pace with your date in hand. BTW and FTW: this is an incredibly powerful move for courting women  she WILL let you gently caress after something like this "theoretical" encounter occurs, enjoy goon sirs!
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May 5, 2016 00:29
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 09:09 |
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>check inventory
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May 5, 2016 00:30
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live alone in the middle of the woods
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May 5, 2016 00:31
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put the pee pee in their coke
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May 5, 2016 00:31
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Have a gun
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May 5, 2016 00:31
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Windows 98 posted:Have a shovel Ftfy
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May 5, 2016 00:33
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sigh and draw your hanzo steel blade, duh
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May 5, 2016 00:34
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I put mouse traps in all my pockets. I've never been mugged, but personally I think that despite losing 3 fingers one time the piece of mind is worth it.
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May 5, 2016 00:36
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Jump kick, sweep, jump kick, sweep, jump kick, sweep.
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May 5, 2016 00:36
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May 5, 2016 00:36
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poo poo pants, not because of the mugger, but because I am a goon and have wooed a women into going out with me.
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May 5, 2016 00:36
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I came across a thread where a dude threw a pizza at some people and managed to get away.
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May 5, 2016 00:38
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIhFU8JG_j0
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May 5, 2016 00:39
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Comically oversized?
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May 5, 2016 00:40
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Lime Tonics posted:I came across a thread where a dude threw a pizza at some people and managed to get away. If I were a mugger and someone threw free pizza at me I'd consider that a successful mugging.
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May 5, 2016 00:40
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Knife boots / shoes. You click your boot and ak nife comes out and you upward cut em in teh dickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
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May 5, 2016 00:40
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have such unbelievable BO that a mugger will not approach you.
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May 5, 2016 00:40
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Lime Tonics posted:I came across a thread where a dude threw a pizza at some people and managed to get away. i can see a fresh pizza being an excellent weapon for a mugger against a gentlegoon: - extremely loving hot - so greasy - will DESTROY any cashmere worn, drycleaning won't be able to fix p-greaze that was THROWN into the fiber - it would be extremely embarrassing to get hit by a pizza. even not with a female companion, there are cameras everywhere these days. it could easily become a so called "meme" and haunt your future career for years..
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May 5, 2016 00:42
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Let out a loud "CAAAAW" and watch smugly as your well trained falcon swoops from the skies.
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May 5, 2016 00:43
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urine pants, hand over wallet
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May 5, 2016 00:45
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how I combat street muggers - p sophisticated as u can see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbzcWm0PxuQ
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May 5, 2016 00:46
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Cane-sword or the Penguins gunbrella.
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May 5, 2016 00:50
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May 5, 2016 00:54
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Duck u I came here to post this
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May 5, 2016 00:57
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Lawrence Gilchrist posted:Duck u I came here to post this Quoted For Fail LMFAO! 
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May 5, 2016 00:57
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Go on a several hour long drunken pseudo-philosophical LF rant explaining how you understand the mugger's only acting this way because the system keeps putting them down tried + tested on a train circa 2009
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May 5, 2016 00:58
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just rationally explain to him why mugging is immoral
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May 5, 2016 01:00
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hold your top hat in front of his face and then piss yourself as you hand it and the rest of your posessions over to him
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May 5, 2016 01:00
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Ein cooler Typ posted:just rationally explain to him why mugging is immoral might be hard to continue as soon as the first blow of his switchblade penetrates all the way through your guts and you cough up blood but noble idea goon sir, if only, right??
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May 5, 2016 01:02
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huh... why didn't you pull out your colt .45 1911 commander model and fire off a couple hollowpoints into his torso?? ??
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May 5, 2016 01:02
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hold your top hat in front of his face and punch through it like in the three stooges
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May 5, 2016 01:03
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Wendigee posted:huh... why didn't you pull out your colt .45 1911 commander model and fire off a couple hollowpoints into his torso?? He doesn't live in America 
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May 5, 2016 01:03
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What's your edc, bro?
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May 5, 2016 01:04
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Use a shovel thats what win 98 would do.
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May 5, 2016 01:05
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Kill yourself in a way that leaves your corpse in a place where the mugger can't get to it, eg jump off a bridge or under a train
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May 5, 2016 01:06
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Windows 98 posted:He doesn't live in America he can immigrate if he isn't a mooslem! problem solved. also don't be mexican or president trump will probably put you in jail or kick you out.
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May 5, 2016 01:07
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I was informed by the d&d that the only correct thing to do is give him what he asks for and present my pre lubed anus to him so that he doesn't accidentally experience any discomfort or god forbid hurt himself should he choose to rape me as well.
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May 5, 2016 01:11
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Just pull the ol' switcheroo and turn the tables and mug them. If they say "OK, this is a hold up", mimic them and say the same thing. I don't foresee any scenario where this could go wrong TBQH. You're welcome for this advice too. 
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May 5, 2016 01:12
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Kuato posted:Just pull the ol' switcheroo and turn the tables and mug them. If they say "OK, this is a hold up", mimic them and say the same thing. I don't foresee any scenario where this could go wrong TBQH. You're welcome for this advice too. I think that just makes the situation a drug deal
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May 5, 2016 01:16
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dont look like a bitch
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May 5, 2016 01:19
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