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kaschei
Oct 25, 2005

Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:

I never took him for making up bits and parts about his family, I just thought he worked it into the act.
In one of the early episodes, I think the episode where a retired general murdered his corrupt conspirator and basically seduces the only witness, columbo tries to buck her up after she realizes how thoroughly she'd been taken in. He tells her about his niece Maggie who bounced back from some circumstances, makes her smile, and she asks "Do you really have a niece?" and he goes "Oh, yeah, of course I got a niece, Francesca, you'd like her, a wonderful girl..." Not those exact names but two different ones at any rate.

Yeah he's definitely making poo poo up when he needs to.

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MeatwadIsGod
Sep 30, 2004

Foretold by Gyromancy
I watched the episode with Martin Sheen and Vincent Price about the muder revolving around anti-wrinkle cream this morning. Columbo gets all sheepish when he's at the company's compound for keeping models in shape when he walks in on some nude sunbathers :3:

Snark
Sep 19, 2003

no dice

happyhippy posted:

Quincy would kick one eye's rear end every time, and still have time to 'Cosby' a woman 1/3rd of his age on his lovely boat afterwards.
I didn't watch a whole lot of Quincy aside from that classic one about how this new thing called punk rock unironically drives teens to murder and must be stopped at all costs

G-III
Mar 4, 2001

Finally a thread for olds that I can get behind.

Season 5, episode 3 "Identity Crisis" is a current fave with Patrick McGoohan and Leslie Neilson.

Watching this again makes me wish so much to go back in time and spend the last few remaining years of my 30s living in the 70s.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

G-III posted:

Finally a thread for olds that I can get behind.

Season 5, episode 3 "Identity Crisis" is a current fave with Patrick McGoohan and Leslie Neilson.

Watching this again makes me wish so much to go back in time and spend the last few remaining years of my 30s living in the 70s.

It would be nice having a bar set be a staple of every office.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

G-III posted:

Patrick McGoohan

This man could appear on The Big Bang Theory and make it good.
This man should be cloned.

Garth_Marenghi
Nov 7, 2011

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Patrick McGoogiman was also a producer and maybe director?

Doug Sisk
Sep 11, 2001

happyhippy posted:

Quincy would kick one eye's rear end every time, and still have time to 'Cosby' a woman 1/3rd of his age on his lovely boat afterwards.

You're a loving moron, sorry. Not too sorry, but yeah. Columbo is king poo poo, he arrested his boss because he was a baddie. He is a King. Quincy just investigated then lost the ability to speak.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Doug Sisk posted:

You're a loving moron, sorry. Not too sorry, but yeah. Columbo is king poo poo, he arrested his boss because he was a baddie. He is a King. Quincy just investigated then lost the ability to speak.

Quincy defies his boss every loving week!
And has the forensic know how to do the perfect murder.
He could tell Columbo how he killed the person, but there wouldn't be a single trace of evidence to trace him to it.
He could then paint Columbo as the killer.

Columbo has a dirty mac, a hosed up dog, and Quincy fucks models every other night.

In conclusion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbR2xBDwzCc

Wurzag
Jun 3, 2007

Bad Moons, Bad Moons, wot ya gonna do?


Thinking quincy is better than columbo is probably in strong contention for worst opinion I have ever seen

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
Kojak would gently caress the other two and still be hard for his main date of the night.

lfield
May 10, 2008

happyhippy posted:

Kojak would gently caress the other two and still be hard for his main date of the night.

shut up

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Doug Sisk posted:

You're a loving moron, sorry. Not too sorry, but yeah. Columbo is king poo poo, he arrested his boss because he was a baddie. He is a King. Quincy just investigated then lost the ability to speak.

I think they both were fictional?

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

happyhippy posted:

Quincy defies his boss every loving week!
And has the forensic know how to do the perfect murder.
He could tell Columbo how he killed the person, but there wouldn't be a single trace of evidence to trace him to it.
He could then paint Columbo as the killer.

Columbo has a dirty mac, a hosed up dog, and Quincy fucks models every other night.

In conclusion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbR2xBDwzCc

But Quincey would never commit the "perfect murder" with Columbo around, because he's at least smart enough to know that rich self-described ubermensch just get conned into confessing murder when Columbo comes a'bumbling...

Kikka
Feb 10, 2010

I POST STUPID STUFF ABOUT DOCTOR WHO
Can we also talk about other TV detectives like Hercule Poirot?

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie

Kikka posted:

Can we also talk about other TV detectives like Hercule Poirot?

You can gently caress right off. Do you see the thread title? COLUMBO. C-O-L-U-M-B-O

Make your own thread for that lovely artsy fartsy British detective.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Wurzag posted:

Thinking quincy is better than columbo is probably in strong contention for worst opinion I have ever seen

Hes probably trolling because otherwise...

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Jose Oquendo posted:

You can gently caress right off. Do you see the thread title? COLUMBO. C-O-L-U-M-B-O

Make your own thread for that lovely artsy fartsy British detective.

LE BELGIAN

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
Just like they updated sherlock, we need a Poirot 2016. The show could revolve around him sleuthing around Belgium catching terrorists

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Mange Mite posted:

Just like they updated sherlock, we need a Poirot 2016. The show could revolve around him sleuthing around Belgium catching terrorists

Uhh every Sherlock after Jeremy Brett has been unwatchable garbage?

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Jerry Cotton posted:

Uhh every Sherlock after Jeremy Brett has been unwatchable garbage?

Ive heard good things about russian Sherlock

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

I mean Spittle McNewyork only stayed on air because Lucy Liu is hot and Barbapapa Turboananas can't act for poo poo but autistic shitlords love him because ???

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Mange Mite posted:

Ive heard good things about russian Sherlock

I think that was before Brett?

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
Oh wait never mind apparently they predate that one

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Sherlock_Holmes_and_Dr._Watson

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

I watched Soviet Sherlock on cable as a kid and it looked very good but I don't speak Russian and all the dialogue was dubbed by one woman (?) so it was poo poo.

Neurolimal
Nov 3, 2012

Jose Oquendo posted:

In some ways Law and Order Criminal Intent is re-make. You see the crime and the perp, and then you get to watch Vincent D'Onofrio sperg his way to the solution and then confession

and just like columbo nothing spergtective forces out would ever hold up in a courtroom with a half-dece lawyer


"so you took his childhood doll, danced around the room while shouting theories, and then you threatened to rip the doll in half unless he confessed? Is that correct detective? And you had reason to suspect him because the black substance you licked off a truck near the crime scene tasted like the oil used at his job?"

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Neurolimal posted:

and just like columbo nothing spergtective forces out would ever hold up in a courtroom with a half-dece lawyer


"so you took his childhood doll, danced around the room while shouting theories, and then you threatened to rip the doll in half unless he confessed? Is that correct detective? And you had reason to suspect him because the black substance you licked off a truck near the crime scene tasted like the oil used at his job?"

"Your honour I have a huge wang" *whips out bepnis* "GUILTY MOTHERFUCKER GUILTY FOR LIFE!"

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
now that ive watched some more episodes, there was one that made it clear columbo wasnt faking the whole bumbling slob thing. when he went to england, he fumbled around the luggage claim, knocking stuff over and repeatedly apologizing for the trouble. he didnt even know there was a crime to solve yet, and no one at the airport had anything to do with it. columbo played the fool a lot, but otherwise he was just as he seemed.

kaschei
Oct 25, 2005

Serious Frolicking posted:

now that ive watched some more episodes, there was one that made it clear columbo wasnt faking the whole bumbling slob thing. when he went to england, he fumbled around the luggage claim, knocking stuff over and repeatedly apologizing for the trouble. he didnt even know there was a crime to solve yet, and no one at the airport had anything to do with it. columbo played the fool a lot, but otherwise he was just as he seemed.
He noticed the other person with similar luggage and it was going to bug him so he invented a pretext (probably hid his own luggage on another flight's) to ask her about her luggage but was rudely interrupted by British hospitality before he could solve the mystery to his satisfaction

Gene Hackman Fan
Dec 27, 2002

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hxXjX57zgg&hd=1

prowatch: robert culp going mad when he realizes where columbo gets him.

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

happyhippy posted:

Kojak would gently caress the other two and still be hard for his main date of the night.

Kolchak The Night Stalker's name is too similar to Kojak's for my taste.

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010

happyhippy posted:

Quincy defies his boss every loving week!
And has the forensic know how to do the perfect murder.
He could tell Columbo how he killed the person, but there wouldn't be a single trace of evidence to trace him to it.
He could then paint Columbo as the killer.

Columbo has a dirty mac, a hosed up dog, and Quincy fucks models every other night.

In conclusion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbR2xBDwzCc

Your weak troll is none the less infuriating because of your AV of a retarded man whom I would 100% expect to hold this idiot opinion for real.

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot
basset hounds look adorable as gently caress.

egon_beeblebrox
Mar 1, 2008

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSyeQH15evw

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015

Serious Frolicking posted:

now that ive watched some more episodes, there was one that made it clear columbo wasnt faking the whole bumbling slob thing. when he went to england, he fumbled around the luggage claim, knocking stuff over and repeatedly apologizing for the trouble. he didnt even know there was a crime to solve yet, and no one at the airport had anything to do with it. columbo played the fool a lot, but otherwise he was just as he seemed.

I think you are right. He is a slob and quite clumsy at times, but he also learned to turn these shortcomings into assets. Just like in a lot of episodes, I do think that Columbo is genuinely good natured and compassionate, though the degree of it is sometimes an act.

In the end this enigmactic character makes Columbo so fascinating. Since he is a clumsy slob with sometimes poor social skill, he can even surprise the audience when he merely uses these traits to further his agenda. Likewise, it is always a joy to behold when his steely core, which he also posesses, shines through.

brylcreem
Oct 29, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Do you know why Columbo never was promoted above Lieutenant?

Because all his suspects was found not guilty at trial, because their confessions were made without being informed about their rights, so none of them were admissable as evidence.

the fart question
Mar 21, 2007

College Slice

Ibogaine posted:

I think you are right. He is a slob and quite clumsy at times, but he also learned to turn these shortcomings into assets. Just like in a lot of episodes, I do think that Columbo is genuinely good natured and compassionate, though the degree of it is sometimes an act.

In the end this enigmactic character makes Columbo so fascinating. Since he is a clumsy slob with sometimes poor social skill, he can even surprise the audience when he merely uses these traits to further his agenda. Likewise, it is always a joy to behold when his steely core, which he also posesses, shines through.

His social skills are his best asset; he pretends to be stupid, smart, interested in esoteric hobbies, and can operate at any level of society

the fart question fucked around with this message at 14:38 on May 14, 2016

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

I was going to watch Murder, She Wrote, but you know what, I think I'll watch an episode of Columbo.

Which episode should I watch?????

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Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

Well it's been five minutes and no help.

I chose season 3, episode 5

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071349/

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