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ButteCysts posted:Australia. Also Australian, until reading this thread I had completely forgotten that I had my fingerprints taken on multiple occasions during grade school functions, including once during an excursion to the local police station where in addition to taking fingerprints they also took cheek swabs. Looking back on it now I realize that around the same time someone had recently torched a classroom, so they might have been trying to covertly investigate. But I went to the worst school in the area so it's possible they just considered it worth collecting for future reference.
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May 15, 2016 14:06
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My incredibly white suburban school was once visited by a black man who talked to us about racial diversity. Many of his points revolved around the fact that two people of any different race can still make a healthy baby (he had a white wife). At one point he asked us to guess where he was from. No one put up their hand so he encouraged us to answer and finally some kid put up his hand and said, "Uh, Jamaica?" The speaker got really angry and said that where he comes from (turned out to be New Jersey) if you don't know somebody's background you don't guess. After that no one put up their hand to answer any questions, which he complained about. Still probably a worthwhile experience for us. Also, on Remembrance Day this girl at the school who was from Afghanistan gave a really moving speech about how her grandfather was murdered by the Taliban and she starting sobbing partway through and you could hear a pin drop in the gym but I was stricken with that horrible feeling. You know the one. Something incredibly serious is happening and you in no way actually find it funnny - but you have the overwhelming urge to laugh. This had happened to me multiple times in life but I think this was the closest I ever came to losing the battle. Had to keep digging my nails into my hands and biting my lips. Also, a play about Malcolm X in which the Malcolm X actor was a light-skinned black guy and the actor playing his friend was much darker and at one point Malcolm X made fun of him for being so ugly, and a skit in an another assembly about preventing teen suicide that ended with a "lol gays" joke. Thought those were kind of counterproductive. More and more keeps coming back to me. Our DARE shirts smelled overwhelmingly of vinegar. We were all given Gideon Bibles and my Muslim friend asked what to do and the teacher told her to just take one. The principal loudly announced "Remember, it's cool to follow the rules" and Melanie bust out laughing and got in trouble. That Melanie. hate hoot fucked around with this message at 16:05 on May 15, 2016 |
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May 15, 2016 15:35
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thread is surprisingly rewarding! Some hosed up experiences compared to my memories of a puppet show and a dude who played a set of crystal goblets I must say.
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May 15, 2016 16:23
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We sang hymns in honour of God and saluted the flag. Then we'd go out onto the football pitch and they'd hang some traitors from the previous day. Sometimes you'd see lights in the sky after from Those Who Watch Above. That was cool because if there were lights we got the rest of the day off 
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May 15, 2016 16:29
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Just remembered one in which everyone had to sing and dance to YMCA. At the end of it I won a gumball machine.
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May 16, 2016 07:51
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We had this bizarre one-armed veteran give a speech and in retrospect he was definitely on some kind of drug, he was shouting and going on tangents and moving all over the stage and making no sense at all. But it was one of those things where no one could really pull the plug, so he just filled up all his time with, uh, the material he had I guess. I was an in-the-middle kind of kid, especially at that age - not too smart, not too dumb, not too nice, not too mean - and obviously our class was just brutal to this guy. The teachers and the principal make a huge deal out of singling out me and some girl for being the only ones who didn't laugh at him.
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May 16, 2016 08:05
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Spiderman came and told us what to do if we were being molested and I happened to look over at the bully and he was deadly still and looked like he was going to cry and then I thought, "well, I bet he's being molested and that's probably why he's such an rear end in a top hat." It was the first insight like that I can remember having, although I still hated and avoided him later. He was decapitated while driving drunk in 11th grade. Spiderman gave us free comic books that day, the ones where he teams up with Power Pack and explains how he was raped in high school.
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May 16, 2016 19:02
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Jack Gladney posted:Spiderman came and told us what to do if we were being molested and I happened to look over at the bully and he was deadly still and looked like he was going to cry and then I thought, "well, I bet he's being molested and that's probably why he's such an rear end in a top hat." It was the first insight like that I can remember having, although I still hated and avoided him later. He was decapitated while driving drunk in 11th grade. Spiderman gave us free comic books that day, the ones where he teams up with Power Pack and explains how he was raped in high school. This post is a Rollercoaster
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May 16, 2016 19:05
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Once we had a guy come and had our whole school call out racial stereotypes about white people, black people, asian people, latinos, etc. Made sure each grade got involved. Then we ran out of time before he could clarify what the point of it was. Well nice try.
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May 16, 2016 19:19
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bunny ears in the air for silence
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May 16, 2016 19:21
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When I went to Catholic school up until 5th grade, up until which point I remember two assemblies 1) The (grand?)mother of one student came in and talked to us about what it was like to be a demonstrator for civil rights and 2) the rainforest was good and cool. We even got tapes for this "ooooooh ooooh ooooh The RAINFOREST the tropical RAINFOREST" And then public school happened- a. A man with a ventriloquist puppet came to tell us not to do drugs in the 7/8th grade. My friend yelled "Screw you puppet man!" That friend went on to be a meth head. b. Yo-yos in the 5th grade. I got one shaped like a tire. Thanks poverty mom for five bucks or whatever! c. On the first day of freshman high school orientation (but not a technical first day of school) the day was supposed to end with a pep assembly. My edgelord friend and myself made the agruement with the administrators that since the school year hadn't technically started we didn't have to attend, so they let us sit in the parking lot until our moms came and got us. d. A cheerleader was supposed to be at the top of pyramid and she fell during a pep rally. e. We had in the 9th grade an abstinence skit assembly. The cool kids (the preppies, you know) did the skit and they talked about how they had strayed before maybe but now where waiting for marriage and the silver ring thing and all that garbage. We were encouraged to write down our questions on slips of paper and our gym coach (who, in retrospect, had to be in on this from day one with his church) would answer them the next day. I wrote that maybe if the preppy girls didn't dress so skanky they wouldn't have to fend off horny boys all the time and their precious virginity wouldn't be threatened. The next day the coach yelled at the boys for being disgusting and that he had never been so ashamed of his class. Twist ending-I was a dorky girl and I just didn't like the preppy bitches anyway.
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May 16, 2016 20:08
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 This McGruff robot spun around on stage and told us not to do drugs.
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May 16, 2016 20:22
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Pug Rodeo posted:
lmbo
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May 16, 2016 20:23
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saw this awful cg video about a superhero with the power of flight and telling kids what to do to be safe on the bus. safetyman actually talked to the guy up on the stage and i didnt think that would be possible considering hes a cartoon man also there was a yoyo man who did insanely bad rear end things with his yoyo and we watched home alone every year. poo poo was rad another one i remember was there was CONSTANT 'no bullying' and 'please sell our magazines' assemblies. talking like once a month. at least the bullying ones, magazines happened less but there was still a lot of them rye on white fucked around with this message at 20:47 on May 16, 2016 |
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May 16, 2016 20:37
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The main thing I remember from DARE is how beer/wine commercials would lie to you about how their product would give you lots of friends and attention from girls. I never applied it to drugs or booze but it was amazing for getting me to hate shampoo commercials and deliberately buy the least-advertised product out of hating Axe for trying to exploit my loneliness.
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May 16, 2016 21:10
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Steven Kellogg came to my school in kindergarden and basically illustrated one of his books on the fly with a big pad of paper the size of an easel as he told the story from memory.
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May 16, 2016 21:52
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Eagles kicker David Akers spoke to the whole 3rd grade class at my school because he was friends with one kid's dad or something. He gave basically a 15 minute pep talk about how we should work hard, try our best, and maybe someday we too could kick a pigskin 50 yards. We got in a line for autographs, but he noped out after like 10 kids. We were all disappointed, but fortunately he had time to sign autographs for all the teachers and administrators. One teacher hastily photocopied hers and handed them out to the class as a sad consolation prize. Unfortunately, I no longer have my sad photocopied sheet of paper with a picture of David Akers signed "To [teacher's name]".
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May 17, 2016 00:58
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The yoyo show! Can you imagine the lives of the cool yoyo demonstrators? Do they rate their season by how many hot teachers they've banged?
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May 17, 2016 01:31
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In middle school the pastor who traveled with the Indianapolis Colts gave an assembly. He warned us not to have sagging pants because it means you are someone's boyfriend in jail. Then he did a Michael Scott level parody of Mambo Number 5 about not drinking and doing drugs. In high school we had a holocaust survivor come present and the kid next to me was telling me the whole time that the holocaust was a hoax. The teacher sitting behind us was sighing the whole time The coolest one was in elementary school when the fire department came and one of the firemen sprayed a kid with a water filled fire extinguisher lol
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May 17, 2016 04:07
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we had an assembly about recycling. these two guys kept throwing all their trash away until it became a huge pile that came to life and ate one of them. I was a very sheltered kindergartener, so this scared the poo poo out of me to the point that they had to call my mom to come get me. we never had dare stuff, but we watched some anti-drug cartoon every year that had the ninja turtles, Winnie the pooh, and other cartoon characters all trying to save their owners' older brother from the clutches of drugs. I just remember a particularly horrifying part where the kid's gaunt looking and strapped to a table while a giant needle slowly approaches him. I think this scared me too, as I have no recollection of the resolution. also, all of our sex ed stuff was taught by our gym teacher, who later came out as gay. in hindsight, this made a lot of sense because she didn't really like talking about the male section and mostly just focused on female stuff. this is why I am now gay.
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May 17, 2016 06:40
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I remember getting bussed from my podunk school in Pierce County, WA to the University of Washington with everyone in my grade to receive a lecture about hemophiliacs. This happened in 6th grade. The only explanation I can think of is the pure hard on for that college(s football program) that people had around there and any exposure to it they could get us was supposed to be some sort of blessing.
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May 17, 2016 07:38
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We had this trumpet player named Chiz Ryder play the trumpet, but he mostly had gimmicky tricks like circular breathing and playing a garden hose with a mouthpiece
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May 17, 2016 07:43
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The only thing I remember about student assemblies is getting nominated for student of the month every other month. I was reading at a 12th grade level in the 4th grade. I was one of "those kids". Don't worry though, I ended up posting on GBS just like the rest of you losers so it didn't amount to much.
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May 17, 2016 07:57
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CJacobs posted:We had a wrestler come and give us all a talk about how you shouldn't give up when you mess something up, and how through personal conditioning and believing in yourself you can do anything. Then he ripped a phone book in half with his bare goddamn hands and it was real cool. arkansas public high school, bout 1995? Goodtime Pancreas posted:Did anybody else have the power team come rip phone books and defeat giant ice blocks? Hell yeah.  Jonny 290 fucked around with this message at 08:12 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 08:09
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I remember Ronald McDonald singing a song about You're the Star and us kids would reply "YES WE ARE." Before the assembly I saw him in the car and he looked really angry. We'd have foreign military people who were stationed at the local air force base come talk to us about their country. I remember a guy from South Korea writing all the kid's name in Korean and it was awesome. Local university had a planetarium where we'd see shows about stars and such. Loved those because science rules! We had a mobile science lab come visit and we got to dissect cow's eyes and huge earthworms. A couple of kids couldn't take it and threw up. We'd go to Ag Days at the local university where all the agriculture college majors would let us pet sheep and cows and goats. Then would demonstrate roping techniques. Had DARE and wrecked cars for no drinking and driving. This thread brought back some fond memories and made my day better.
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May 17, 2016 10:30
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this thread is amazing, god I forgot how many stupid assemblies we had in school, but I liked them better than going to class because I hated middle/high school I deeply regret being such a straight-arrow doofus back then, why the gently caress didn't I just skip and play video games instead of watching some guy tell me to not do drugs I remember for some reason they taught us the canadian national anthem once
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May 17, 2016 11:04
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I remember a few from grammar school. - A band consisting of people with different mental and physical retardations would come play every year. They were called High Hopes. - This guy Dan Crow, who's apparently still alive 30 years later, would come sing and play guitar w/ some awesome animal sounds effects. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI8BAAHK8hI -ETA watching film reels backwards in the cafeteria on rainy days. Fun for all! Being from SoCal, we were a bit luckier in High School. -No Doubt, Sublime, Cadillac Tramps and Social Distortion all played the quad at one time or another. -A young up and coming DJ named Steve Aoki was a grade or two below me. He would play his cool rave music on the high school radio station at lunch. -The drill team was called the Dog Squad. Everyone would throw dog treats at them during the rally. Good times. Divine Styler fucked around with this message at 07:49 on May 18, 2016 |
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May 18, 2016 07:47
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We had the standard holocaust survivor and sex ed ones, until I got into the "gifted" program and whined at the teacher every assembly to let me skip it to study (by playing lords of the realm 2 on one of the class computers). I don't feel like I missed out on anything, most assemblies the first half was getting everyone seated while the teachers blared on whistles/airhorns telling everyone to shut up. Then you'd have to stare straight at the presenter making sure you didn't even look like you could be whispering to someone unless you wanted to be dragged out and given a detention by the very short-tempered football coach.
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May 18, 2016 08:07
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has anyone said yo-yos yet? cause yo-yos 
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May 18, 2016 08:10
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JiveHonky posted:I remember one time this european puppet group performed at our school, i think they were called Mummenschanz and it was pretty weird this is really funny and cool The_Franz posted:Then there was some girl who's friend decided to climb out of the passenger window of her car to car-surf and ended up falling and dying. I guess she was charged with vehicular manslaughter and part of her plea-bargain was that she go to schools and tell people about how you don't mess around while driving. She was on stage crying with her parents and lawyer next to her while the father of the dead guy who climbed out of the window was in back filming everything, probably to catcher he saying something that could be used against her in a civil lawsuit. The speech started 20 minutes late because they were arguing over whether the guy in the back was allowed to film everything and when it did start her layer interrupted her every few seconds. That was definitely a weird assembly. this is incredibly hosed up 
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May 18, 2016 10:34
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We had a pair of magicians who'd come to the school every year and give us an hour long presentation about teen issues. They all had personal experiences that somehow linked to the issue and also to magic like one had been bullied at school because he loved magic or something and one of them had been such high flying magician/escape artist that he got into heavy drugs and it affected his magic so he kicked the habit. They did the same tricks every single year and always finished with the escape artist getting out of a straight jacket. The last presentation, when we were about 16 years old was about making a good first impression at an interview. They walked out 3/4 of the way through because kids wouldn't stop asking whether it was appropriate to greet an interviewer with a bouquet of flowers hidden up the sleeve or how many handkerchiefs we should stuff into our pocket just to be safe and they were sick of it so he just got out of the straight jacket and left.
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May 18, 2016 13:28
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In highschool they changed our schedule mid year so a 30 minute lunch got turned into a 25 minute lunch and everyone was real mad about it and the student newspaper was all outraged and then they had a holocaust survivor come in and she was describing life in a concentration camp and she was like "and they only gave us 30 minutes for lunch" and everyone started laughing and the vice principal just kept yelling at us to shut up till he started crying.
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May 18, 2016 13:53
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Every year before Christmas and Easter they'd have the preacher from the local Fundamentalist church come in and talk about the real meaning of the holiday with these ugly puppets (this was a public school). One year we had Christian wrestlers who ended the presentation by making us sign a paper that said we give our soul to Jesus. In 7th an 8th grade the boys were frequently pulled out of the classroom and given a lecture on bathroom etiquette and pressured into confessing who was making GBS threads all over the place and breaking doors in the bathroom. Then a black kid moved in. He was quickly blamed and expelled. The bathroom kept getting trashed after he left.
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May 18, 2016 14:51
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I only remember one in like fourth grade that was a science demo thing and they showed us how arches work with gigantic foam blocks. Then again in fourth grade during the year-end pseudo-graduation thing I got called up because I won the school geography bee that year and I got presented with a map that was already outdated because LOL the Balkans and Africa. Apparently my main elementary school memories are from fourth grade because that's clearly when I peaked and everything else has been a long, slow slide into decrepitude and mental illness.
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May 18, 2016 15:01
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One time after 9/11 they brought some afghani refugees to perform traditional afghani music, and then proceeded to inform us kids that not all afghani were terrorists. We( a school with only white kids) had never seen any arab or muslim peeps and did not care or understood why these guys were so special. A couple of years later a bunch of my schoolmates became neo-nazis so major fail I guess? Zombiepop fucked around with this message at 15:20 on May 18, 2016 |
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May 18, 2016 15:15
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Zombiepop posted:One time after 9/11 they brought some afghani refugees to perform traditional afghani music, and then proceeded to inform us kids that not all afghani were terrorists. We( a school with only white kids) had never seen any arab or muslim peeps and did not care or understood why these guys were so special. A kid named Trac Vu who was in our class played his curved pan pipe thing and did the dance that goes with it in his blue outfit to demonstrate Hmong culture in high school. He told the assembly that if you could dance well this way you could get a lot of girls and if not hahaha. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88b2f4_2pDg Apart from the Vu family our only minorities were Native Americans and a few recently immigrated Russians. raton fucked around with this message at 15:26 on May 18, 2016 |
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May 18, 2016 15:23
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garfieldphone posted:The last presentation, when we were about 16 years old was about making a good first impression at an interview. They walked out 3/4 of the way through because kids wouldn't stop asking whether it was appropriate to greet an interviewer with a bouquet of flowers hidden up the sleeve or how many handkerchiefs we should stuff into our pocket just to be safe and they were sick of it so he just got out of the straight jacket and left. This is beautiful. Kids are such perfect assholes to everyone about everything.
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May 18, 2016 15:24
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One time we had this ex-junkie come in and tell us how bad drugs were. But her heart wasn't really in it and I think she was forced to do it as part of some kind of community service.
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May 20, 2016 11:36
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We got to watch a team of midgets playing basketball. It was pretty cool
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May 20, 2016 14:29
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My high school had a guy with AIDS come and speak to about having AIDS. A fight in the hallway broke out and he was the only adult around to break it up.
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May 20, 2016 14:30
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