The magical power of semen retention or "How to deny women your essence"

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twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

http://deviwardtantra.com/magical-power-semen-retention/

Imagine the following text, but written in a wide variety of font sizes and linked to you from facebook.

quote:

If ever there was a skeptic, it was me. I couldn�t get my mind wrapped around the idea. I didn�t see the point. I mean, isn�t that what sex is all about in the first place?

Blowing a load, busting a nut, whatever other phrase you can come up with to define the moment of ejaculation at the climax of sexual excitement.

That is what I thought it was all about. That is what all the porn was about, to be sure. I�m not saying that it always happened during sex, which was hugely disappointing, embarrassing, and frustrating. But then again, I supposed it to be more or less normal for a guy in his 40s.
That�s why there are all the commercials for products that might give you an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, right?

All the same, when it didn�t happen I could not help but feel that something was wrong with me, that I was somehow less of a man.

I have always had a pretty healthy libido, and no real problems with getting an erection. I liked sex and yet I found it hard to really let myself go in it. What if I didn�t come?

The funny thing is that precise thought was often exactly what got in the way of my actual climax.
Making myself come was easier, and so I did that quite often. More or less every day, give or take.

But even then I was so focused on ejaculating � on that moment of release � that I missed the mark at times.

�I guess I�m just tired� was the most common line I used to explain it to myself. Then it dawned on me that I was �tired� more than I thought.

Maybe I was just getting older, but it felt like something was wrong.

I am happy to report that something was indeed wrong. It was me. I was wrong on pretty much all accounts.
Semen retention is the practice (or art) of separating orgasm from ejaculation.

I had heard bits and pieces of folklore about it. I heard somewhere that the Samurai believed that if a man could have sex with a woman seven times without ejaculating, he would live forever.

I really only learned about it recently from a woman who insisted that sex is medicine. She was very keen on having me try semen retention, so I figured �why not?�

I was encouraged by the fact that she reinforced to me that fact that the learning process required lots of sex, which I happen to like. I learned a rudimentary technique to manually block the release of semen upon orgasm, and was told that with practice I could potentially do it without blocking at all. I was curious, so I tried it (on my own at first).
The first time I successfully blocked was � to be honest � uncomfortable.

It felt like having the most dreaded affliction of all teenage boys, �blue balls.� No kidding, it felt a bit like I had been kicked.

I recall thinking that I had just done something stupid, possibly dangerous. I was under the belief, strengthened by a lifetime of ill-informed sexual mythologies, that bad things happen when men don�t come.

As if semen were the prime ingredient in Dr. Jeckyll�s nefarious serum. But the feeling (both the physical discomfort and the subtle dread) soon passed. What was left behind is a bit hard to explain.
It was very, very subtle at first. A bit less �wiped out� after masturbating; less of the �I could do with a nap� feeling; a bit more energy to get things done.

And I was horny again within an hour or so. I don�t have a history of being a sexual dynamo. One and done pretty much summed it up.

On the rare occasion I could go twice in a day, so long as there was a good deal of rest in between.

Over the next few days, I tried again if not always with perfect success. (A word to the wise; do not release the block all at once, rather hold it for a bit, then ease off. Failure to do so can produce some results that are� I�ll go with �comedic.� Pun purely coincidental.)

It became apparent that after only a short period of time something major was going on. I was horny all the time, and I could easily go twice a day. Often I would have sex with my wife in the evening after masturbating during the day.
My erections were definitely easier to maintain, lasted longer and I was getting much harder.

I started to feel �in the groove� most of the time. This started with regards to sex, but quickly became true of all areas of my life. I just felt�good. No wait, I felt GOOD!

I have been practicing semen retention now for around 5 months. In that whole time, I have ejaculated a grand total of maybe 4 or 5 times. As I write this, that figure seems incredulous to me, but it is accurate.

This does not meant that I have stopped having sex during that time. Far from it. (If ever there was a �non-starter� idea for me, it would be celibacy.)
The times that I have ejaculated have been much more intense than I recall my orgasms ever being, but also notably more draining.

This isn�t necessarily a bad thing, just a noticeable thing. Things keep changing as I get much more used to the fact that an orgasm is a different thing than ejaculation.

In the past month or two I have somehow broadened my orgasmic repertoire. I have �come without coming� and without blocking.

I can�t possibly describe the feeling other than to say that it is much more of a whole body experience than a strictly genital one.
My orgasms, both the ejaculatory and the non-ejaculatory ones, are now longer and intense in a new kind of way. And with the non-ejaculatory orgasm, I can keep going again and again. I have had as many as four orgasms in a single session, and it is often her, not me that is tired out at the end.

The impact of this practice on my sex life has been remarkable, but its impact in my day to day life has been almost unbelievable.

My body composition is changing. I am heavier now than I have ever been, but all of it is in muscle gain, since I am also quite a bit leaner than I was six months ago.
I feel notably physically healthier. My body has not looked this sculpted since I was in my 20s.

I sometimes wonder if semen retention is not a natural equivalent to a course of steroids (which, I suppose, would make some sense), only with the opposite effect on the size of your balls.

My confidence has gone through the roof. It is hard not to gain a bit of swagger when you can gently caress all day, and all night until your partner collapses from sheer, blissful exhaustion, while you are still ready for more.
This confidence has carried over into how I carry myself when I walk, how I present myself at work, how I interact with colleagues and strangers alike. It has altered my whole outlook on life. That feeling of being �in the groove� is now all but constant. I feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.

Semen retention sounds drastic, but it is an exercise in subtleties. There is another area that it is affecting, although it is very difficult to put into words. I feel almost ashamed to try. It is a spiritual shift. I can�t say much more about it because the blackness of the ink with which I must write the words can only ever block the view of what I am seeing.

A woman wise well beyond her years once told me that the orgasm is a glimpse into the eyes of the divine. I think I�m beginning to know what she meant.

Written testimonial by Dr. Christopher Erickson, Vancouver, BC

If you were wondering about what his doctorate is in: http://experts.news.ubc.ca/expert/chris-erickson/

# ? May 14, 2016 17:32

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 07:31

Un-l337-Pork: Sep 9, 2001; Oooh yeah...

Just lift weights, loving weirdos.

# ? May 14, 2016 17:37

General Dog: Apr 26, 2008; Everybody's working for the weekend

I hope he gets prostate cancer

# ? May 14, 2016 17:37

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

didn't read a word. kiss my balls

# ? May 14, 2016 17:38

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

didn't read a word. kiss my balls

Well, you have the facebook part of the experience all set.

# ? May 14, 2016 17:40

Dads Dip Cup: Aug 13, 2009; Grimey Drawer

if you want to deny women your essence this seems like an awful lot of effort to go through when a forums account is just :10bux:

# ? May 14, 2016 17:40

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

Thanks for the Dr Strangelove reference.

# ? May 14, 2016 17:41

That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

Toilet Mouth posted:

I hope he gets prostate cancer

i hope he retains a bunch of dudes' semen in his mouth

# ? May 14, 2016 17:47

Strategic Tea: Sep 1, 2012

Un-l337-Pork posted:

Just lift weights, loving weirdos.

tbf everyone I know who ~lifts~ is only slightly less hilariously insecure than this guy

# ? May 14, 2016 17:57

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1KvgtEnABY

# ? May 14, 2016 18:18

GORILLA BASTARD: Jun 20, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Do you even lift bro?

# ? May 14, 2016 18:20

Windows 98: Nov 13, 2005; HTTP 400: Bad post

Summarize the OP in 2 sentences if you could for me

# ? May 14, 2016 18:23

noctambulous nebab: May 12, 2016; by zen death robot

Every tried celibacy? The dreams will change your perspective on life.

# ? May 14, 2016 18:25

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

Windows 98 posted:

Summarize the OP in 2 sentences if you could for me

words words

# ? May 14, 2016 18:31

noctambulous nebab: May 12, 2016; by zen death robot

Semen is the essence of life. Never share it except with the intention of making babies.

# ? May 14, 2016 18:32

Dads Dip Cup: Aug 13, 2009; Grimey Drawer

Windows 98 posted:

Summarize the OP in 2 sentences if you could for me

"man declares himself witch doctor of jizz, practices mystical rituals to prevent ejaculation"

# ? May 14, 2016 18:33

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

noctambulous nebab posted:

Every tried celibacy? The dreams will change your perspective on life.

On purpose?

Just funnin'

# ? May 14, 2016 18:53

noctambulous nebab: May 12, 2016; by zen death robot

The Sphinxster posted:

On purpose?

Just funnin'

Thanks. My feelings were hurt before you explained yourself.

# ? May 14, 2016 18:54

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

noctambulous nebab posted:

Thanks. My feelings were hurt before you explained yourself.

I couldn't take that risk.

# ? May 14, 2016 18:55

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

yeah edging feels good, sorry it took dude like 40 years to figure it out or whatever

# ? May 14, 2016 19:16

Cantorsdust: Aug 10, 2008; Infinitely many points, but zero length.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrograde_ejaculation

Retrograde ejaculation occurs when semen, which would, in most cases, be ejaculated via the urethra, is redirected to the urinary bladder.

He's not saving it, he's just peeing it out instead of ejaculating it. Whatever changes he's had, it's not because he's saving semen.

# ? May 14, 2016 19:22

William Bear: Oct 26, 2012; "That's what they all say!"

Skeesix posted:

quote:
I heard somewhere that the Samurai believed that if a man could have sex with a woman seven times without ejaculating, he would live forever.

600 year-old Japanese guy here. I can confirm this. I have never ejaculated.

EDIT: What's it like?

William Bear fucked around with this message at 19:28 on May 14, 2016

# ? May 14, 2016 19:23

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Cantorsdust posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrograde_ejaculation

Retrograde ejaculation occurs when semen, which would, in most cases, be ejaculated via the urethra, is redirected to the urinary bladder.

He's not saving it, he's just peeing it out instead of ejaculating it. Whatever changes he's had, it's not because he's saving semen.

The power is reabsorbed by the bladder.

# ? May 14, 2016 19:24

playmidair.com: May 14, 2016; by Shine

some weird theory about genetic phenotypes that naturally produce more oxytocin and have higher natural empathy levels that mdma requiring ptsd spergs becuz of frequent mom/aunt hugs as a kid

some other theory about pheromonal releases from creampies etc

v science

quite sa

# ? May 14, 2016 19:26

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

i didn't read the op or any posts or what i'm typing right now am i correct in thinking this thread is about drinking your own cum?

# ? May 14, 2016 19:31

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

Windows 98 posted:

Summarize the OP in 2 sentences if you could for me

Ernest Hemingway style:

Mystical power from my unspent jism.

# ? May 14, 2016 19:46

www: Aug 4, 2010

if u want tips on how to stop women from stealing your essence im an expert

# ? May 14, 2016 19:56

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

sorry op but creampies are my jam

# ? May 14, 2016 20:10

Roberto_Silencio: Mar 9, 2004; lets start advertising and make us some real money

cool fanfiction

# ? May 14, 2016 21:07

skeevy achievements: Feb 25, 2008; by merry exmarx

can you imagine being so unsuccessful with women that you say "can't beat 'em, join 'em" ala DND

literally impossible imo unless you never leave the basement but then again, heh, DND

# ? May 14, 2016 21:08

Internetjack: Sep 15, 2007; oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers; Top Cop

Didn't a porn star, I'm thinking Ron Jeremy, credit this as his way for blowing big loads for money shots. Essentially he'd masturbate to just shy of climax 3-4 times a day for several days before filming a big money shot; then dump a huge load for the scene.

I remember hearing that like 20 years ago,

# ? May 14, 2016 21:19

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Internetjack posted:

Didn't a porn star, I'm thinking Ron Jeremy, credit this as his way for blowing big loads for money shots. Essentially he'd masturbate to just shy of climax 3-4 times a day for several days before filming a big money shot; then dump a huge load for the scene.

I remember hearing that like 20 years ago,

idk but yeah edging will do that

one weird trick for when you wanna just blast someone in the face

# ? May 14, 2016 21:32

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

lol how do you not figure out edging after a decade plus of cranking bates.

# ? May 14, 2016 23:57

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

i'm a "bottom line" guy op, so give it straight: if i splunk in my own mouth am i retaining essence?

i already do, but i want to know if it's good for me.

# ? May 15, 2016 00:16

Sir Teabag: Oct 26, 2007

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

i didn't read the op or any posts or what i'm typing right now am i correct in thinking this thread is about drinking your own cum?

get horned up and drink your load hope this helps

# ? May 15, 2016 00:16

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

i'm a "bottom

Got it. I'll make note of it.

# ? May 15, 2016 00:19

RobattoJesus: Aug 13, 2002

Groovelord Neato posted:

lol how do you not figure out edging after a decade plus of cranking bates.

Edging, like playing video games all day, and sleeping until 2pm is something I haven't had time to do for like 15 years.

Please kill me

# ? May 15, 2016 00:19

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

birthcontrol makes my girlfriend all hormonal and annoying and poo poo so I just use the pullout method which works pretty good and its fun to challenge yourself to shoot as far as possible. I've made it into her hair one time and she got mad but it was pretty funny and cool

# ? May 15, 2016 00:19

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

The Sphinxster posted:

Got it. I'll make note of it.

still not interested jerry :rolleyes:

# ? May 15, 2016 00:20

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 07:31

MiracleWhale: Jun 30, 2015

Nooner posted:

birthcontrol makes my girlfriend all hormonal and annoying and poo poo so I just use the pullout method which works pretty good and its fun to challenge yourself to shoot as far as possible. I've made it into her hair one time and she got mad but it was pretty funny and cool

I've shot it right in a lady's eyes and lemme tell ya the mood changes real quick

# ? May 15, 2016 00:22

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > The magical power of semen retention or "How to deny women your essence"

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