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satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

welcome, to the bark tank.



in this show, we have contestants attempt to assuage (or calm) a pack of dogs. this pack of dogs may or may not want what the guests have to offer, but if they like it, they'll offer all the investment funds and business expertise they have.

one thing is for sure: they can smell fear. bring your best gifts and ideas to appease the canines.


are you ready to run with the dogs?

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satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Shaquin posted:

those dogs seem pretty mild im in

you walk in empty handed and with no ideas?

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

okay now that this joker's been chased out, anyone with real ideas or beef ready to "step up"?

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Putty posted:

hello bark thank, i think we should turn polticians into dog food with my new patented meat grinder

it's run with a foot press so even aminals can use it!!!

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

its hard to tell but that dog is extremely angry, and now, thanks to your suggestion, extremely hungry.

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

dad gay. so what posted:

here boy. good boy. hi. hi. goood boy. goood boy. whos the good booooy?



this dog offers you a few good wags and a handshake if you've got a few belly rubs in you

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Chinatown posted:

all those dogs arent very cool when compared to that cool dog

he's a brand name of his own, maybe he'll show up as a guest investor

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Tonsured posted:

My mom's got cancer and I'm in it to win it. I'm gonna come at the barks hard with a lot of energy and clapping, I might run a few laps and then I'll tell them all about my home business, inflatable sex castles. My plan is to give these barks a hard sell and a big bone to take home to their bitches.

are you just rattling cages or what? whats your deal? whats your idea? you talk a good talk but can you take them for a walk?

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Shaquin posted:

i expect to be invited back for Last Chance Bark Tank OP

we might be able to arrange something, but you're pretty much guaranteed a spot on "After Bark" if you have something we can film

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Fister Roboto posted:

WHO'S READY FOR A CAR RIDE

you have a buyer, and he's a good one

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

JiveHonky posted:

>put peanut butter on dick and lie very still



they've seen this idea, and frankly, they're amused but not excited.

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009


satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Iron Prince posted:

I have an idea for dogs. It is a machine where you load in a live pig and it incrementally grinds it up into sausage as the dog nuzzles a button.



the beagle started wagging his tail and barking as soon as you finished talking and now he won't stop. he's super excited. he continues to bark over you as you try to talk to him. you can assume he's in for your idea but for now (and likely for the rest of the day) he will continue to bark at you while wagging his tail.

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satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

JiveHonky posted:

ok im back again this time i brought a present







the head of ceasar milan


JiveHonky posted:

ok im back again this time i brought a present







the head of jackson galaxy

dogs can't read spoilers please do not tease the bark tank

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