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Interns. We all have 'em and let's face it, they're a rowdy sexy bunch. But what do you do when they're acting out of line? These boys plague me to no end! 
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May 20, 2016 20:40
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:01 |
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please hire me oh god i need to pay my rent
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May 20, 2016 20:41
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keep a cane leaning against your desk
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May 20, 2016 20:41
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Windows 98 posted:please hire me oh god i need to pay my rent you look a bit old to be one of MY interns
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May 20, 2016 20:42
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Instead of coffee give them an unapologetic mug of piss. Not to drink, just a reminder of the difference between an intern and an employee.
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May 20, 2016 20:43
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I address him by an annoying pet-name, Mitchy-poo. This is usually sufficient to get him to shut up and get back to what he calls work.
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May 20, 2016 20:43
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Put a net nanny on the wifi, and jam their smartphones..
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May 20, 2016 20:43
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tiny shock collars for the penile.
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May 20, 2016 20:45
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ours had to come bring a cheque to get signed today while us big boys were getting drunk hehe 
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May 20, 2016 20:45
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notZaar posted:Put a net nanny on the wifi, and jam their smartphones.. ill jam a smartphone straight up your nose butthead >:-|
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May 20, 2016 20:46
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Revoke their twitter privileges.
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May 20, 2016 20:54
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Windows 98 posted:please hire me oh god i need to pay my rent You see, this is the kind of lazy, entitled behavior in talking about. My generation went and fought for our freedom, and now you come in here talking about pay. When I was your age I had nothing but a chipper attitude and a strong work ethic. Now look at me. Just pay your dues, and stop complaining. Then get me a latte and if you gently caress up my order so help me god you're getting industry blacklisted
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May 20, 2016 21:06
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Segregated seating for those who carry messenger bags instead of briefcases. Sign above said area should read: "The human being Highlands".
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May 20, 2016 21:08
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RedMage129 posted:You see, this is the kind of lazy, entitled behavior in talking about. My generation went and fought for our freedom, and now you come in here talking about pay. When I was your age I had nothing but a chipper attitude and a strong work ethic. Now look at me. Just pay your dues, and stop complaining. Then get me a latte and if you gently caress up my order so help me god you're getting industry blacklisted my generation ate beetles b/c we didnt know what else to do
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May 20, 2016 21:10
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scott zoloft posted:you look a bit old to be one of MY interns 
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May 20, 2016 21:14
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May 20, 2016 21:14
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spray bottle OP
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May 20, 2016 21:16
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May 20, 2016 21:16
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It's always really funny when social worker interns accompany me and the Sheriff's Office on a removal where poo poo goes South quickly, they invariably stand in the corner as far away from everyone else as possible with their arms crossed as tightly as possible like they are trying to shrink from the room and the sudden realization of what this job actually entails hits them and they look like they're trying their hardest not to cry during the whole thing, like a Jon pop hooker
T.S. Smelliot fucked around with this message at 21:23 on May 20, 2016 |
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May 20, 2016 21:20
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24/7 buttplugs
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May 20, 2016 21:22
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mosquito anti-loitering devices in the bathrooms, breakroom, and their bedrooms
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May 20, 2016 21:31
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idgaf i just let em do whatever and occasionally dump work i dont want to do on em
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May 20, 2016 21:48
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a fun game to play with your interns is to call them over to help you with the big account and then make them watch you jack off at your desk telling them that the big account is your penis
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May 20, 2016 21:51
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scott zoloft posted:Interns. We all have 'em and let's face it, they're a rowdy sexy bunch.
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May 20, 2016 21:54
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scott zoloft posted:a fun game to play with your interns is to call them over to help you with the big account and then make them watch you jack off at your desk telling them that the big account is your penis Another good thing to do with interns is to put them into situations where they are way out of their league and pretend like you expect them to know what they're doing, watching them flailing in terror is pretty funny
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May 20, 2016 22:00
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Angry Birds Suicide posted:It's always really funny when social worker interns accompany me and the Sheriff's Office on a removal where poo poo goes South quickly, they invariably stand in the corner as far away from everyone else as possible with their arms crossed as tightly as possible like they are trying to shrink from the room and the sudden realization of what this job actually entails hits them and they look like they're trying their hardest not to cry during the whole thing, like a Jon pop hooker this is an excellent analogy that I will be borrowing
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May 21, 2016 02:02
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Tell them posting on SA is part of their internship XD  :iamafag:
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May 21, 2016 02:08
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Iron Prince posted:24/7 buttplugs This but the little remote ones that can vibrate. Then you push the drat button all the time.
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May 21, 2016 02:15
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make them log their time with a time tracking widget, a timesheet website, and a google doc spreadsheet
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May 21, 2016 02:17
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today an intern asked if he could have monday off so he can go to a job interview and I told him he could have the whole week off. I don't think he understood.
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May 21, 2016 02:57
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Some have more nerve than others but that's when you know you've got a ripe one
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May 21, 2016 03:08
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A good movie
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May 21, 2016 03:10
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Make them do pysichal labour and yell at them if their shirt comes untucked
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May 21, 2016 03:13
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make sure your intern has a safety word better yet if its the safety school they had to go to because princeton rejected their rear end
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May 21, 2016 03:16
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mdm posted:make sure your intern has a safety word i went to princeton but my rear end got rejected. hes a yale man now
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May 21, 2016 03:19
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anyway, i punch them in the back as hard as i can
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May 21, 2016 03:19
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We have a 6'6 intern from Sudan who works harder than the rest of the office combined. Frankly if we had another one of her I could fire about 7 people and I could embezzle lots of money and retire at 40. This is actually looking like a viable strategy
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May 21, 2016 03:23
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Have 'em teach me all about sounding, also blackmail for latest party drugs. Will not recognize if seen homeless and begging for change about a year later.
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May 21, 2016 03:23
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Just hire 4 times more than you need. At intervals, before the need to pay them kicks in, fire them. Let them know this in advance. Eventually, fire all of them, because, you know, interns are essentially useless.
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May 21, 2016 03:27
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:01 |
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i kneel down until im on their level, then i do one of those karate moves where you punch straight in front of you with your knuckles pointing upward, and pull your other arm up underneath your armpit with the knuckles pointing downward, and go 'kya!'
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May 21, 2016 03:29
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