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so this was business gorilla, right?
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May 30, 2016 08:06
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its 2016 and zoos still arent toddler proof rofl
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May 30, 2016 08:09
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Stevie Lee posted:anthony bourdain teared up when he choked out that goat on Parts Unknown I must correct myself. It is AA Gill that is the POS, not Bourdain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiDe5lUyPLM Bourdain is just dumb. Harmless dumb. Gill is a psycho.
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May 30, 2016 08:31
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symbolic posted:what if the shooter was the same guy that killed that one lion last year Was the gorilla gay? Someone needs to find out. Gorillia. Gorillillia. This Gorilla was making a platform game and was struck down in the prime of its life.
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May 30, 2016 08:43
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Melmac posted:Anyone else remember when food columnist A.A. Gills paid to hunt a baboon so he could "see what it was like to kill a person"? Baboons are shitheads and deserve to die though, so that's okay.
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May 30, 2016 08:52
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Microwaves Mom posted:This has happened before and usually a keeper can just go to teh gorilla and the gorilla gives them the kid.
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May 30, 2016 10:23
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U9dkgISYyU
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May 30, 2016 10:28
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gorillas arent necessarily friendly, but they arent really murderous hatebeasts either. that bad mom is probably gonna talk about how she got a gorilla killed by being inattentive for years. though tbf i would also brag about it if i got a gorilla killed.
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May 30, 2016 10:33
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What I want to know is, how do I apply to this zoo task force who's only job is to blast gorillas back to hell?
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May 30, 2016 10:41
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GAYS FOR DAYS posted:gorilla lives matter  (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 30, 2016 10:44
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Melmac posted:Anyone else remember when food columnist A.A. Gills paid to hunt a baboon so he could "see what it was like to kill a person"? I wonder how long he tried to haggle the human hunting package down to a price he could afford before he gave up and settled for the lower quality baboon experience.
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May 30, 2016 10:45
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To be fair baboons are evil vicious fuckers who can kill you
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May 30, 2016 11:16
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If the monkey had killed the baby the mother probably could have sued for more than the monkey was worth.
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May 30, 2016 11:28
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i wish i didn't live at the mall with the apes.
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May 30, 2016 11:30
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plain blue jacket posted:If the monkey had killed the baby the mother probably could have sued for more than the monkey was worth. i think you will find gorillas are very expensive
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May 30, 2016 11:31
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In my humble opinion, this wouldn't have happened if the gorilla had a gun.
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May 30, 2016 11:34
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That gorilla was gay anyway, it sucked my dick!
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May 30, 2016 11:36
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RideTheSpiral posted:i think you will find gorillas are very expensive According to yahoo answers $9000 https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090610142751AAI6s3T
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May 30, 2016 12:01
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plain blue jacket posted:According to yahoo answers $9000 my research turned up $45,000
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May 30, 2016 12:23
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Falun Bong Refugee posted:That's how I wanna go out. Menacing children.
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May 30, 2016 12:42
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:In my humble opinion, this wouldn't have happened if the gorilla had a gun.
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May 30, 2016 12:43
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i don't like monkies
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May 30, 2016 12:51
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or gorillas
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May 30, 2016 12:51
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how do you feel about the monkees?
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May 30, 2016 12:54
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Quote-Unquote posted:how do you feel about the monkees? they get a pass
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May 30, 2016 12:56
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Serious Frolicking posted:so this was business gorilla, right? We can only hope
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May 30, 2016 13:01
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Acid Haze posted:But seriously why not even try the tranq darts first? You can always shoot him if that fails... He did no real harm to the kid and he could have killed him instantly. He was bashing the kid against the wall when they finally decided to shoot him. Tranquilizer darts would have just pissed him off even more before they took effect and he probably would have killed the kid outright. That's not to say that the mother isn't a dumbass and shouldn't be charged with child neglect, and that this wasn't a CYA move by the zoo, but IMO the kid didn't deserve to get mauled to death.
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May 30, 2016 13:01
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Were all going to feel real stupid when this kid grows up to be the antichrist or something, and it turns out this gorilla had been sent from the future to the past to complete a mission to save us. A mission we stopped. TIME APE working title
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May 30, 2016 13:04
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The Bananana posted:Were all going to feel real stupid when this kid grows up to be the antichrist or something, and it turns out this gorilla had been sent from the future to the past to complete a mission to save us. A mission we stopped. if he had been sent from the future then surely he would've read the news and learned that he was going to die in his mission? i mean jesus loving christ you are what is wrong with hollywood today. apart from the rampant child-loving, i mean.
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May 30, 2016 13:06
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symbolic posted:what if the shooter was the same guy that killed that one lion last year and then it turns out he keeps a trophy from each animal he kills, and has been greasing rails and daring kids to climb on them
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May 30, 2016 13:18
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Quote-Unquote posted:if he had been sent from the future then surely he would've read the news and learned that he was going to die in his mission? lol but otoh if this was the first diversion from the main antichristkid timeline there's no way of knowing the outcome of his gorilla mission. e: like, if you succeeded in traveling back to 1930s Germany, your success and potential demise is not a foregone conclusion and you might readily believe you'll return home again
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May 30, 2016 13:19
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Toadvine posted:lol Yeah, idiot!
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May 30, 2016 13:20
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Toadvine posted:lol if this was the first diversion from the antichristkid timeline, i.e.: it hadn't happened in Time Ape's future, then how would the gorillas know that they had to send Time Ape back in time in order to change the timeline?! Did an ape travel forward in time to a period where they'd invented backwards time travel to warn them? But then he must've known that Time Ape got killed by antichristkid so we're back at the beginning again!
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May 30, 2016 13:37
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plain blue jacket posted:According to yahoo answers $9000 RideTheSpiral posted:my research turned up $45,000 Both of these prices seem reasonable. I wonder if there are financing options available? I could use a gorilla to keep my neighbor's rear end in a top hat kids off my lawn and poo poo.
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May 30, 2016 13:48
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Quote-Unquote posted:if this was the first diversion from the antichristkid timeline, i.e.: it hadn't happened in Time Ape's future, then how would the gorillas know that they had to send Time Ape back in time in order to change the timeline?! when I say diversion I mean the first attempt to alter the past. back to the Hitler metaphor: we all talk about going back to Germany and killing Hitler. The first time someone actually does it is identical to what played out in Ohio with the Gorilla. They know Hitler/antichristkid must die, but everything that happens next is unknown. also: 
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May 30, 2016 13:50
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Dirty Sanchez posted:Both of these prices seem reasonable. I wonder if there are financing options available? I could use a gorilla to keep my neighbor's rear end in a top hat kids off my lawn and poo poo. Lol if you pay above $15 000 for a gorilla like a loving hipster
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May 30, 2016 13:52
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Toadvine posted:when I say diversion I mean the first attempt to alter the past. so an ape went back in time and in doing so altered the future, which caused antichristkid to exist, thus necessitating Time Ape's doomed mission? idgi. and i'm smart; i even made it through inception without getting confused but this script is crazy.
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May 30, 2016 13:53
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Should have shot the larval retard. Retards aren't endangered.
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May 30, 2016 13:54
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Time Ape was sent back in time to save humanity. Unfortunately he was sent back too early and must spend 17 years in an enclosure. Tune in weekly for the adventures of Time Ape!
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May 30, 2016 13:55
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sweetmercifulcrap posted:Time Ape was sent back in time to save humanity. Unfortunately he was sent back too early and must spend 17 years in an enclosure. Tune in weekly for the adventures of Time Ape! sweet i've been waiting for a show with a faster plot than GoT
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May 30, 2016 13:56
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