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Fat Shat Sings posted:This thread brings up the most heated argument in SA's history, next to Gun vs Katana, .999 = 1, and Plane on Treadmill. Depends, how do you define beat? In the wild or a stand-up ring fight? Get them to surrender or is it a fight to the death?
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May 31, 2016 18:25
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Of course to the death. Animals don't recognize "Uncle!", idiot
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May 31, 2016 18:27
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Confrontations in nature are rarely to the death. Unless babies are involved, then it's game on
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May 31, 2016 18:28
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Mange Mite posted:Confrontations in nature are rarely to the death. Unless babies are involved, then it's game on When do babies fight to the death?
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May 31, 2016 18:32
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The Bananana posted:When do babies fight to the death? Someone has never had to fight a baby
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May 31, 2016 18:33
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then no, super-duper no as far as large primates go, even the most physically impressive humans are comparably weak we have large advantages in other areas (and not just the obvious difference in mental acuity/social organization, we have physical advantages too, some of which play into why we're not as strong), which is why we're in a position to put all the other large apes in cages at fairly minimal risk, but a bare-handed deathmatch is entirely playing to their strengths while removing almost all of our own
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May 31, 2016 18:36
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Roylicious posted:An average human or can we do like Andre the Giant v a gorilla? Any human with any circumstances. Through natural training is it possible to best a gorilla in a fight.
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May 31, 2016 18:40
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apparently the kid fell into another exhibit that day too... heres some recently uncovered security footage:
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May 31, 2016 18:40
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if this little tyke fell into MY pen, id bash him against the wall too only thing allowed in my pen (moms basement) is my keeper (mom)
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May 31, 2016 18:42
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I feel like a gorilla could rip an average human's limbs clean off no matter how hard the human trained.The Bananana posted:When do babies fight to the death? When there aren't enough teats to suckle on
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May 31, 2016 18:50
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Put me in a ring with a gorilla and a wounded child in the middle and we'll see who loving wins.
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May 31, 2016 18:57
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Roylicious posted:I feel like a gorilla could rip an average human's limbs clean off no matter how hard the human trained. People say this poo poo a lot, but is it actually true? I know gorillas are super strong and could break all your bones and rip off your face, but dismember strong? How many pounds of force does it take to rip off a human arm?
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May 31, 2016 18:57
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Ruggan posted:People say this poo poo a lot, but is it actually true? I know gorillas are super strong and could break all your bones and rip off your face, but dismember strong? How many pounds of force does it take to rip off a human arm? I dunno but this video shows a gorilla breaking the trunk off a banana tree I assume to get the grubs and stuff inside: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4amRA0jl0qI Those trees are pretty rubbery and strong as far as I know? Apes/monkeys just have way more muscle mass and strength in their ligaments/tendons. Google tells me in the 20s they did a 'pull strength' test, the men could only pull 150-200 lbs but a chimpanzee which was relatively small pulled almost 850 lbs. And that was a captive chimp that had no idea what a pulley was so he didn't have the same leverage the men had. Roylicious fucked around with this message at 19:02 on May 31, 2016 |
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May 31, 2016 19:00
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Blacktoll posted:Put me in a ring with a gorilla and a wounded child in the middle and we'll see who loving wins. 
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May 31, 2016 19:00
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Blacktoll posted:Put me in a ring with a gorilla and a wounded child in the middle and we'll see who loving wins. No handicaps on the child fighters dude, that's just cheating
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May 31, 2016 19:03
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Roylicious posted:When there aren't enough teats to suckle on Also when a new male moves in. Though that's less of a fight than a murderfest to get rid of the old male's genetic heritage and to bring the females into estrus for new rounds of mating.
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May 31, 2016 19:04
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So do police/child support agencies decided to investigate cases based on petitions or am I missing something here?
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May 31, 2016 19:11
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If someone gets a gorilla who will obey the Marquess of Queensberry rules consider me toxxed to fight it. I'll take the Pepsi challenge.
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May 31, 2016 19:16
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Ruggan posted:People say this poo poo a lot, but is it actually true? I know gorillas are super strong and could break all your bones and rip off your face, but dismember strong? How many pounds of force does it take to rip off a human arm? A chimp can pull over 1200 pounds on a dynamometer (though one chimp did 847 pounds one-handed so it may be higher than 1200lbs). A human can do... Maybe 400. 450-500 if they've trained for it. That chimp has enough power to badly mangle your arm or leg if it were to try to specifically attack and pull on it. Given a few extra tugs it very well could pull an arm off it tried to, especially if it has leverage. A gorilla could probably tug you apart without trying all that hard.
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May 31, 2016 19:16
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Lemon posted:So do police/child support agencies decided to investigate cases based on petitions or am I missing something here? change.org is just a great way for idiots to gather together and sign their names on a big list to feel vindicated about being outraged over something without having to face any kind of counterargument or question their viewpoint, now stop asking questions and grab my dick so we can keep this circle unbroken
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May 31, 2016 19:17
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Gorilla v Human like that seems unfair though, it handicaps the human by removing our greatest advantage. Give us our tools, that fight would definitely go in the human's favor. Might as well say who would win a Chess match, human or gorilla?
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May 31, 2016 19:17
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Roylicious posted:Apes/monkeys just have way more muscle mass and strength in their ligaments/tendons. Google tells me in the 20s they did a 'pull strength' test, the men could only pull 150-200 lbs but a chimpanzee which was relatively small pulled almost 850 lbs. And that was a captive chimp that had no idea what a pulley was so he didn't have the same leverage the men had. That test result you're referring to was ONE HANDED! Another chimp did 1200lbs without trying. (Also quote ≠ edit, sorry for the double post.)
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May 31, 2016 19:17
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Roylicious posted:Gorilla v Human like that seems unfair though, it handicaps the human by removing our greatest advantage. Give us our tools, that fight would definitely go in the human's favor. God dammit Roy, I know that you're an enormous pussy liberal but where is your American Pride? I'll fist fight a gorilla for the red white and blue anyday if the week. And if he wins, god dammit, I'd buy him beer. Because while he might be backwards and mentally stunted, everyone loves a cold one.
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May 31, 2016 19:22
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The gorilla looked uninterested in the kid. Good job killing an animal over some future juvie
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May 31, 2016 19:22
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Fat Shat Sings posted:Any human with any circumstances. Through natural training is it possible to best a gorilla in a fight. then sure, the human wins easily because through training they know how to use tools and manipulate their environment, so even if they're restricted to what they can manufacture themselves from a natural environment, the gorilla is likely going to lose because it will die of puncture wounds at the bottom of a pit/bleed out from getting repeatedly hit with poisoned atlatl darts/etc. humans are specialist tool users- part of the reason we'd lose automatically in bare handed combat is the same reason we win in the real world, the flexible tendons/ligaments that make us relatively weaker give us much more precise/refined motor control than the other great apes
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May 31, 2016 19:23
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Blacktoll posted:God dammit Roy, I know that you're an enormous pussy liberal but where is your American Pride? I'll fist fight a gorilla for the red white and blue anyday if the week. And if he wins, god dammit, I'd buy him beer. Because while he might be backwards and mentally stunted, everyone loves a cold one. I don't want to encourage you to post more, but I will say I enjoyed this post. Honestly, I'm torn.
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May 31, 2016 19:24
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Blacktoll posted:God dammit Roy, I know that you're an enormous pussy liberal but where is your American Pride? I'll fist fight a gorilla for the red white and blue anyday if the week. And if he wins, god dammit, I'd buy him beer. Because while he might be backwards and mentally stunted, everyone loves a cold one. Yeah I guess winning in the face of insurmountable odds is pretty American. I mean I'd love to watch a gorilla fight a human don't get me wrong. I might look away once it starts getting bloody like in the first 5 seconds but you know.
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May 31, 2016 19:25
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Crash_N_Burn posted:Oh the prehumanity
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May 31, 2016 19:27
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Mustard Snobbery posted:this wouldn't have happened if the gorilla had a gun The Gorillas learned the same lesson 
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May 31, 2016 19:31
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I like you Roy, you're silly and ignorant but you're honest. But you're also wrong. I'm not fighting the gorilla. The gorilla is fighting me.
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May 31, 2016 19:32
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Roylicious posted:Might as well say who would win a Chess match, human or gorilla? Remember that scene in Star Wars where they suggest Chewbacca will tear your arms off if you beat him at chess? My point is gorillas always win at Chess
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May 31, 2016 19:34
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Anybody gone apeshit in Ohio yet? Some PTSD vet opened fire on his high-value property neighbors in Houston before being downed by an officers bullet.
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May 31, 2016 19:41
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There's an issue of Preacher where an evil redneck kills a gorilla with his bare hands.
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May 31, 2016 19:48
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What if the child has a suit of futuristic power armor?
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May 31, 2016 19:49
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8-Bit Scholar posted:There's an issue of Preacher where an evil redneck kills a gorilla with his bare hands. I hope that makes it into the series
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May 31, 2016 19:51
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Imagine bein a feller who suplexes a gat-dang gorilla in plain view of the adoring public. You'd never have to buy your own beer, thats for sure
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May 31, 2016 19:52
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cheerfullydrab posted:What if the child has a suit of futuristic power armor? I'll try to work this into the screenplay
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May 31, 2016 19:56
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LGD posted:then sure, the human wins easily because through training they know how to use tools and manipulate their environment, so even if they're restricted to what they can manufacture themselves from a natural environment, the gorilla is likely going to lose because it will die of puncture wounds at the bottom of a pit/bleed out from getting repeatedly hit with poisoned atlatl darts/etc. I'm sure we could use our higher intellectual capacity to befriend the gorilla, establish a routine where it allows us near it, then we can just poison it slowly or something. But we are talking about a fist fight here. Basically I want to start my own reality series where you get crossfit people that think they can take a gorilla to sign waivers then get into fights with them. The qualifying round would be to survive against a chimpanzee without losing your face.
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May 31, 2016 20:08
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Lemon posted:So do police/child support agencies decided to investigate cases based on petitions or am I missing something here? yeah bro the police are going to go to the hood to check on the welfare of a black child <---- lmao
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May 31, 2016 20:35
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 20:34 |
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Breaking: Mother Plans to Celebrate Son's Miraculous Escape from Gorilla Pit with Grand Canyon Trip
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