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here are mine: Women are like hurricanes. When they come they are wet and wild. But when they leave your house and car are gone. Have you ever wondered why, during a crisis, they let the women and children go first? It's so the men can have some peace and quiet while they think about what to do. Last month, Montreal University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. (A) The theory is that Beer contains female hormones (hops contain Estrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. (B) To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 large drafts of beer within a one (1) hour period. (C) It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects - yes, 100% of all these men: 1) Argued over nothing. 2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. 3) Gained weight. 4) Talked excessively without making sense. 5) Became overly emotional. 6) Couldn't drive. 7) Failed to think rationally, and 8) Had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary. Why is a mans mind dirtier than a womens? A woman changes hers more often. Life is like a box of chocolates, a women completely destroys one in minutes. Why do women have periods? Because they deserve them. What's the most common sleeping position of a woman? Around. How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes. What do you give a woman with everything? Penicillin. What is love? The delusion that one woman differs from another. Why did God create lesbians? So feminists couldn't breed.
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May 31, 2016 08:27
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| # ¿ May 1, 2024 05:10 |
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LargeHadron posted:Those aren't jokes, they're cries for help. Do you need to talk to somebody? Why is divorce so expensive? It's worth it.
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Jun 1, 2016 22:03
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Lottery of Babylon posted:Why is divorce so expensive? loss of: wealth, custody of children, social status, humiliation........no just no to all of it the correct version of that joke should be changed to replace divorce with murdering your spouse.
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Jun 1, 2016 22:03
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A moon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you be having?" The moon says, "Nothing thanks, I'm full."
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Aug 26, 2016 04:35
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A week later a moon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you be having?" The moon says, "Nothing thanks, I'm full." So the bartender says, "Why the long phase?"
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Aug 26, 2016 05:23
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| # ¿ May 1, 2024 05:10 |
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Three logicians walk into the a bar. The bartender asks if the three of them would like a drink. The first says "I don't know," the second says "I don't know," the third says "No thanks, I'm not thirsty."
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Aug 9, 2017 23:54
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