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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QNa5xr0ED0 Dobrodošli u Hrvatsku Welcome to Croatia, where the girls look like mildly used purses, the beer tastes like a piss after a night of heavy drinking, and the kits are tablecloths. The country is part of former yugoslavia, but the cool parts like Dubrovnik and Split are in Dalmatia, which used to be part of the Venitian empire, so they're basically redneck Italians that speak weird–which is to say most Italians. It's a very beautiful place. On the food side of things, it's is known for its abundant supply of truffles and dope seafood. Dubrovnik is Kings Landing in Game of Thrones; If you support them for this reason,  They are really loving good at football for a small country and will be one of the 'underdog' teams heading into the tournament. Group D:  Unfortunately, Croatia are in what's probably the first or second most difficult group and it'll be hard sledding to get past Spain, Turkey, and a mediocre Czech side. Croatia and Turkey have some history, with one of the most insane matches ever taking place in 2008. Watch these highlights. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZfpGs-vx1U The Turks took down the Croats AET, and the Hrvatska boys will want to get them back. This year's team is one of their strongest ever  they're PROBABLY going to play a 4-1-3-2 or 4-3-3, but their manager is wacky and will play random rear end people. If you look at their qualifying run, there's like no consistency in selection. Going to be a bizarre team that might underperform their talent level, which is one of the best in the tournament. He just played a loving 3-5-2 for the first time like two weeks before the tournament. So far they've been playing: Srna + Corluka and Vida + ??? usually Vrsaljko Badelj who's incredibly boring but pretty good will be the DM in the 4-1-3-2 Modric, Rakitic, and Brozovic Mandzukic/Kramaric/Perisic but like i said the manager is loving insane and picks him team on a whim so the only people who have their places remotely secured seem to be Srna, Rakitic, Modric, Corluka (lol) and Perisic. Everyone else has a ton of competition for their place. I made an effort post, with all the players and poo poo, but had a goofy character in the title and the system ate it, so this is my offering: this guy might play  Modric, Rakitic, Kovacic and Brozovic is probably one of the best midfields in the tournament  their defense is poo poo and has like one guy who should be a defender in the year of our lord 2016.  <- garbagemenMandzukic is not as good but is still cool  their manager Cacic, which is pronounced cock itch, has managed at way too many clubs to be good  He dropped Lovren because they're both egomaniacs. The most boring 9 minute football vid you can possibly find, when the beat drops they're replaying an average tackle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAPyCMpmZKE straight up brolic fucked around with this message at 05:50 on Jun 1, 2016 |
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May 31, 2016 21:24
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This thread must be a mistake. I don't see Serbia in the euros.
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Jun 1, 2016 00:21
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Croatia is fully cic
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Jun 1, 2016 01:42
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poor hrvastkis have been absolutely hosed for their group draw the last three tourneys, pullin for my slav catholic brothers though srna is also cool and good in perpetuity vivisectvnv fucked around with this message at 03:03 on Jun 1, 2016 |
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Jun 1, 2016 02:58
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Vrsaljko owns but is bad at actual defending. What formation does Croatia play?
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Jun 1, 2016 03:49
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Gigi Galli posted:Vrsaljko owns but is bad at actual defending. What formation does Croatia play? So far they've been playing: Srna + Corluka and Vida + ??? usually Vrsaljko Badelj who's incredibly boring but pretty good will be the DM in the 4-1-3-2 Modric, Rakitic, and Brozovic Mandzukic/Kramaric/Perisic but like i said the manager is loving insane and picks him team on a whim so the only people who have their places remotely secured seem to be Srna, Rakitic, Modric, Corluka (lol) and Perisic. Everyone else has a ton of competition for their place. straight up brolic fucked around with this message at 04:19 on Jun 1, 2016 |
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Jun 1, 2016 04:14
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Nice OP! Let me add a few points. LOVRENGATE When assembling the team for March friendlies, the manager invited very few players. He claimed that he didn't need more but then after the first game a few got injured and a few got sick. He barely had enough players to field a team for the second game. And yet for some reason he didn't let Lovren play. Liverpool's CB got angry and after some harsh words was thrown out of the national team. So the wacky manager managed to 1. exhaust players since they didn't have enough replacements in the second game, 2. lose a valuable player, 3. waste an opportunity to give a chance to new players, 4. get thrashed by media for refusing to admit any of this was a mistake. HALILOVICGATE Alen Halilovic is Barcelona's player but on a loan to Sporting Gijón. He's only 20 and had a good season in La Liga. He was recently crossed out from the Euro roster to much anger and disbelief from the media and Halilovic's fans. The wacky manager explained that with such strong midfield Halilovic wouldn't get any play but it's widely believed that he wanted to bring some second rate Dinamo Zagreb players instead. You see, Halilovic is already sold so better to use the roster to promote Ćorić, Rog, Pjaca, and Čop (plays in Malaga but is Dinamo's). It's no coincidence that Dinamo's boss (infamous Mamic) is hugely influential in Croatian FA. Doctor Malaver fucked around with this message at 02:42 on Jun 2, 2016 |
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Jun 2, 2016 01:38
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he really is an insanely wacky manager, how does he still have a job?
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Jun 2, 2016 02:02
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The Guardian's rundown on all the teams and players has this cool story about Vedran Corluka:quote:the former Manchester City and Spurs player is sometimes criticised for being “far too nice” and lacking aggression. In 2011 he made headlines by reacting to a nightclub waiter complimenting him on his diamond-encrusted £36,000 watch by swapping it for the man’s £150 Seiko. A source told The Sun: “The waiter thought it was a joke but it wasn’t. Charlie’s a lovely bloke. Always so polite.” I'll be cheering for him in France!
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Jun 2, 2016 02:32
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Croatia has only two types of managers. a) players from the 90's who have charisma but no experience; and b) Croatian league managers whose biggest club was Dinamo Zagreb and who are Dinamo's boss' door mats. After a few guys of type A, the FA now picked an obedient nobody of type B.
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Jun 2, 2016 02:34
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Also a cool story about Corluka... A friend of mine was his teacher in elementary school. Corluka was a polite boy gifted for Croatian classes but he chose to pretend he was dumb so that he would get bad grades and fit in with the tough/genuinely dumb crowd.
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Jun 2, 2016 02:39
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Getting bad grades is cool as hell
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Jun 2, 2016 06:14
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Ozujsko is really bad, it tastes like the Adriatic. When in Croatia drink Slovenian beer. As for the team, well I hope they kick the gently caress out of the Turks and get revenge for 08 was it? Oh man We are getting old
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Jun 2, 2016 07:29
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I didn't mind karlovacko when I was there.
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Jun 2, 2016 12:00
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reminder that mandzukic laughed atthe crying bitch poop failureola and got shitcanned for it so he owns imo
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Jun 2, 2016 12:25
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African AIDS cum posted:Ozujsko is really bad, it tastes like the Adriatic. When in Croatia drink Slovenian beer. The artisanal scene is booming and there are now plenty of Croatian beers better than Ozujsko and Karlovacko. No need to drink Slovenian beer especially since you can't even get it in bars - only in some stores.
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Jun 2, 2016 16:31
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Doctor Malaver posted:No need to drink Slovenian beer especially since you can't even get it in bars - only in some stores. Why is this?
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Jun 2, 2016 19:27
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I am a plastic for Croatia in this tournament Cool kit, cool midfield, cool 90s memories
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Jun 2, 2016 23:46
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African AIDS cum posted:Why is this? Curiously enough I had Slovenian beer (Laško) in a bar tonight. It's not that common any more since as I said we now have better Croatian beers. And if you want imported then you'll get it from Belgium or Germany. Chas McGill posted:I am a plastic for Croatia in this tournament Not sure about the kit but welcome anyway!
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Jun 3, 2016 02:23
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I'm plasticking for Croatia because of MY CROATIAN WIFE and also because of the top notch seafood and grilled lamb
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Jun 3, 2016 13:22
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The kit may not be cool but it is unusual
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Jun 3, 2016 13:46
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Yugoslavia played in Mexico '86 and they had the letter J in their name from what I can remember from my panini album
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Jun 3, 2016 14:23
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African AIDS cum posted:Why is this? Because Slovenia thought it would be a good idea to keep it's beer industry nationalized and it went to the shitter.
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Jun 3, 2016 15:27
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I just found out that Croatia are playing San Marino. Why the gently caress are Croatia playing San Marino what is the purpose of this
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Jun 4, 2016 20:04
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Alexeythegreat posted:I just found out that Croatia are playing San Marino. Why is Austria playing the Netherlands
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Jun 4, 2016 20:13
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Alexeythegreat posted:I just found out that Croatia are playing San Marino.
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Jun 4, 2016 21:24
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Alexeythegreat posted:I just found out that Croatia are playing San Marino. The atmosphere in Croatian football is bad, despite great players in the national team. Croatian FA is corrupt, the manager lacks charisma and support, fans chant fascist slogans. http://www.total-croatia-news.com/item/12254-croatia-plays-san-marino-in-rijeka-tonight So, they wanted an easy win (it ended 10-0) and a moderate crowd (Rijeka is a left-leaning city) in hope it will lift the spirits.
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Jun 4, 2016 21:24
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if you choose to play decent teams you can get embarrassed heading into the tournament and kill whatever momentum you had (austria is down 2-0 to the netherlands right now). Only the good teams should be playing teams that just missed out.
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Jun 4, 2016 21:27
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also mandzukic hadn't scored in like a year for the national team and they got him firing with a hattrick today.
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Jun 4, 2016 21:28
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Yeah, given the circumstances playing San Marino wasn't such a bad move.
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Jun 4, 2016 21:41
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Doctor Malaver posted:The atmosphere in Croatian football is bad, despite great players in the national team. Croatian FA is corrupt, the manager lacks charisma and support, fans chant fascist slogans. Isnt the FA controlled by the albanian mob
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Jun 5, 2016 02:25
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Croatia is cool and beautiful. I went to a Hajduk match in Split once and I didn't understand a drat thing about the fans but it seemed like they might have been doing racisms and they handed everyone newspapers to sit on because the formed plastic seats hadn't been cleaned in 20 years. Also the city tennis courts were freaking clay so I give that place an AAA sports rating
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Jun 5, 2016 05:18
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Drew Croatia in the work sweepstake, hopefully Cacic pulls his finger out for me then. Especially with that midfield 
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Jun 6, 2016 03:36
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Chas McGill posted:I am a plastic for Croatia in this tournament Ah yes. 90's Croatia with Prosinecki & Boban bossing things - awesome  I'm plastic for Croatia too, the bits of the Country I've seen (the coast) are fantastic although I'd have to agree that the beer is poo poo.
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Jun 9, 2016 12:13
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Croatian press is producing huge amounts of non-content before the Turkey game. I could've written most of those articles and I don't even follow football closely. In stark contrast a group of younger journalists around telegram.hr is offering alternative analysis. 1. Right backs: Put Vrsaljko instead of Srna. Srna is old and can't do much offensively any more. Vrsaljko OTOH had a phenomenal season in Sassuolo and he's supposed to transfer to Atletico Madrid or Napoli this summer. However Srna is the captain and this is his last tournament with the national team so I don't see Cacic leaving him on the bench. A similar mistake was keeping Pletikosa in WC 2014 (although Kovac was the manager then). We have a tradition of sticking with obsolete players for too long. 2. Forward: Kramaric or Kalinic instead of Mandzukic Mandzo is not old but his play style doesn't suit the national team. He's a big, powerful guy who dominates in the box and pressures opponent's back line. We are more of a tactical team that needs a forward that goes back to get the ball and can cut in deftly. However Mandzo is very popular and Cacic doesn't have the balls to exclude the player that is widely regarded as the best Croatian forward of the last decade. 3. Midfield: Jedvaj and Brozovic instead of Rakitic and Badelj This borders with heresy but the thinking is that if we are constructing the team around Modric, then we should we should do it properly. We have too much creation in the midfield. Badelj plays in the back but he's not very physical and Rakitic doesn't work that well with Modric (maybe he could if they had Busquets to cover their backs). This is of course never going to happen and Jedvaj is largely untested anyway. 4. Croatia won't progress from the group. So claims influential (meaning, sometimes quoted by Guardian or ESPN) Aleks Holiga. He's a mega-hater of the manager and the Croatian FA so that's probably clouding his vision.
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Jun 12, 2016 10:49
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We did it.
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Jun 12, 2016 17:23
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That was a pleasant surprise. Possibly the most one-sided game of this Euro so far (or was it Poland - N. Ireland? Didn't watch.) Strinić was a liability, I expect we'll see Vrsaljko or Ćorluka as LB in the next game.
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Jun 12, 2016 23:30
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Croatia  Kurdshttps://twitter.com/DrPartizan_/status/742060624054779904
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Jun 13, 2016 00:07
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Apparently Srna found out his father had died during the match last night and will leave the squad for at least the next round...
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Jun 13, 2016 06:56
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Reports saying he may miss the next match. I'm guessing Vrsaljko features?
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Jun 13, 2016 09:40
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