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So, this is the thread GD wanted me to make, and with MyChemicalInbalance deigning not to take up the offer of writing the thread, I can cheerfully go ahead and slander his stupid country. Northern Ireland  Northern Ireland is not a country. I know I just said it was, but it isn't. It's a non-country full of dirt and gnomes that exists purely out of political necessity. Like Belgium. I could explain here the whole history and foundation of Northern Ireland, but I don't actually know, can't be bothered to paraphrase big chunks of Wikipedia, and it's much easier just to explain that everyone in Northern Ireland is a horrid little bastard who lives in the most terrible poo poo-strewn house that you wouldn't put an Albanian in and who throws rocks at his neighbours' children on the way to school definitely because of something Cromwell did and not at all because he's a little rat man living in a little rat house with one working heater. If for some inexplicable reason you do want to visit Belfast, remember to get scammed by a taxi driver into him giving you a tour of all the stupid bullshit these people have painted on their houses, including all the new ones, which are poo poo since it turns out it's much harder to paint people's faces if you don't just always do them wearing a balaclava. Although they do have a population of 1.8m, it should be noted that they've never done what the Republic of Ireland have traditionally done and filled their ranks with a bunch of assorted Brits who've some relative that once drunkenly started a fight at a wake and therefore was declared Irish by the local constabulary. Presumably because getting bullets in the post and losing at home to Moldova doesn't sound like a happy fun time unless you grew up yearning for it. There's also a secondary problem that a significant percentage of young Catholic players will go ahead and declare for the Republic, which includes James McClean and some other people I won't name because I don't know or care about Irish footballers. The NI team isn't entirely Protestant, but a majority of the fans are, and their national anthem is still 'God Save The Queen'. So of that 1.8m, actually getting 23 willing players who don't live in a bin is something of a challenge. Even with 24 teams this year, Northern Ireland actually qualifying for a major tournament is unprecedented and should probably be seen as more of an achievement than it actually has been, seeing as for most of the last 20 years they've been kicking around the bottom couple of seeding pools with the real shitbag teams who should be annexed by better countries to save us all the trouble. This time around, they not only qualified, but won their group, the achievement of which being only slightly sullied by the fact that this is literally the worst loving group of teams I've ever seen in my life:  I mean, christ, Finland got 12 points. Finland. Drunken snow autists. 12 points. Greece descended beyond "farcical" and into "sad and pathetic", coming in as top seeds and ended finishing behind the Faroes, who beat them home and away. Claudio Ranieri would end up being run out of the country and having to take a backwater job at Leicester City. 23 Willing Players Who Don't Live In A Bin Goalkeepers:  Roy Carroll (Linfield) - Remember Roy loving Carroll? Remember when he randomly spooned a shot into his own net only for the linesman to fail to spot it and for us all to drink beautiful Spurs tears? Guess who's first choice at a major tournament in 2016? He's apparently spent the last two years at Notts County after a spell in Greece, but was released at the end of the season and has signed for Linfield, meaning that NI will outdo the Republic in actually taking a player from their own domestic league. Also going: Alan Mannus (St Johnstone), Michael McGovern (Hamilton Academical) Defenders:  Jonathan Evans (West Bromwich Albion) - Imagine a world where someone asks you about your football team and your answer is that your best and most trusted player is Jonny Evans. Also you're a little rat man in a little rat house who tries to intimidate people by playing the flute at them.  Chris Baird (Derby County) - Old and poo poo. I mean, he was always poo poo, but now he's also old. Indulgently gash.  Patrick McNair (Manchester United) - Paddy McNair, of "got games for United when everyone else was dead", and "name can be sung to the Bucky O'Hare theme tune but nobody thought that was funny" fame. This makes you the first name on the teamsheet for Northern Ireland. May actually play at the back of a midfield diamond based on a picture I saw on the internet.  Craig Cathcart (Watford) - Being a failed United prospect is enough to get you 20+ caps. Belter.  Conor McLaughlin (Fleetwood Town) - Yeah, 24 teams is probably too many teams when you have loving Fleetwood Town players actually getting games. Also going: Gareth McAuley (West Bromwich Albion), Luke McCullough (Doncaster Rovers), Lee Hodson (MK Dons), Aaron Hughes (free agent) Midfielders:  Steven Davis (Southampton) (c) - Apparently good, but not as good as anyone from England, including a 50-year-old Paul Scholes.  Corry Evans (Blackburn Rovers) - "Corry" isn't even a real name. Not even for a pet. Younger brother of Jonny. Also a United reject.  Stuart Dallas (Leeds United) - Leeds best player this season, which is barely even a compliment. Likely hates the blacks and the gays. Also going: Oliver Norwood (Reading), Shane Ferguson (Millwall), Niall McGinn (Aberdeen), Jamie Ward (Nottingham Forest) Forwards:  Kyle Lafferty (Norwich City) - A man who was run out of Italy for touching too many women. Yes, that Italy. With the jokes. It's like being thrown out of an interior design festival for being too gay. Spent the last half of the year on loan to bad Turks.  Conor Washington (Queens Park Rangers) - Remember when I said they don't call up Englishmen? Turns out that was horseshit. Here's an Englishman who isn't particularly lighting up the bottom half of the Championship. Sign the fucker up. Also going: Josh Magennis (Kilmarnock), Will Grigg (Wigan Athletic) If you've seen literally any of these players in the last 12 months please post here and let their families know they're all right. Exciting Games In Which To Watch Your Hopes And Dreams Turn To Ash Before Your Very Eyes  Yeah, they're hosed. They're real hosed. MCI, if you're reading this, bring us back a carton of Richmond Superkings and a bottle of Auchentoshan 18yr on the 22nd, that's a lad. pyf paramilitary group itt
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May 31, 2016 22:09
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FullLeatherJacket posted:
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May 31, 2016 22:45
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What is it with Manchester United and having Northern Irish youth players?
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May 31, 2016 23:19
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probably something to do with the legacy of having george best play for them
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May 31, 2016 23:24
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So many ex United players.
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May 31, 2016 23:34
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This thread has taught me about the Northern Ireland squad, in addition it has also taught me a lot about Northern Ireland.
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Jun 1, 2016 00:38
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FullLeatherJacket posted:
Birmingham City, also known as The Bad Turks.
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Jun 1, 2016 05:58
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Blue Star Error posted:Birmingham City, also known as The Bad Turks. Correct.
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Jun 1, 2016 06:50
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vyelkin posted:What is it with Manchester United and having Northern Irish youth players? They have/had partnerships with a few of NI's bigger teams iirc
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Jun 1, 2016 06:56
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ULSTER SAYS NO to getting out of the group stage
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Jun 1, 2016 07:15
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Good thread. Too bad David Healy didnt make it
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Jun 1, 2016 09:23
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Niall McGinn is ace and scores loads of free kicks and is fast and fucks up Efe Ambrose when he runs at him. Also he's a striker now, not a midfielder. No idea why on earth Magennis made the cut, surely things can't be that bad. McGovern is class and should be first choice keeper.
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Jun 4, 2016 06:20
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Coohoolin posted:Niall McGinn is ace and scores loads of free kicks and is fast and fucks up Efe Ambrose when he runs at him. Also he's a striker now, not a midfielder. There's a weird stat about Magennis being the only player in the world to play competitive international matches at any level in every position (so this goes from U17 to full internationals) since he was originally a goalkeeper then became a striker but filled in as a defender and winger inbetween. I remember seeing him playing as both a defender and a striker for Aberdeen (in seperate games) although I can only assume NI think they've called up about six different players all called Josh Magennis and will be really pissed off when only one poo poo-at-everything Magennis turns up.
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Jun 5, 2016 01:43
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the only squad I think can out bomb isis
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Jun 5, 2016 02:11
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Quality OP, I couldn't have given a more balanced overview of wee Norn Iron but I will inject some optimism into the thread. Northern Ireland bring a 12 match unbeaten streak into the Euros, a team that has been playing together for a while with a manager who knows how to keep things tight and set his team up defensively. Their group was full of shite but winning it was still an achievement for a team that was ranked 126th in the world half a year before the qualifying campaign started. It's the first time in my life I've been able to watch a major tournament and support my own country. Ask me how we'll do and I'll tell you we could get 4 points. Ask me how I really feel and I'll tell you I'd be happy with a point. This season in football has shown us strange things can happen and the optimism around a team that doesn't concede many goals and has the ability to score on the break is understandable IMO. If you're a floating fan and you're looking for an underdog to support in the groups just remember wee Northern Ireland. We're also bringing one of Europe's form strikers in Kyle Lafferty (7 in qualifying) and League 1's hottest goal scorer and chant generator, Will Griggs. Whatever the gently caress happens everyone over supporting the team will enjoy it, the mood is optimistic given our performance in the qualification stage and even though the squad looks poo poo on paper the starting eleven is a respectable international side.
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Jun 5, 2016 23:09
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duckmaster posted:There's a weird stat about Magennis being the only player in the world to play competitive international matches at any level in every position (so this goes from U17 to full internationals) since he was originally a goalkeeper then became a striker but filled in as a defender and winger inbetween. Magennis scored against Greece and bought himself some favor with O'Neill, it was between him and Liam Boyce for that last spot up front but with Griggs, Lafferty and Washington all ahead of him he won't get a look in.
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Jun 5, 2016 23:11
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I definitely read those last two posts.
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Jun 5, 2016 23:36
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It's not a country (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jun 5, 2016 23:43
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Shrapnig posted:I definitely read those last two posts. You should have, they were informative.
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Jun 6, 2016 00:38
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when was the last time that Ireland and North Ireland played eachother in a competitive match?
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Jun 6, 2016 00:45
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straight up brolic posted:when was the last time that Ireland and North Ireland played eachother in a competitive match? Do the Troubles count?
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Jun 6, 2016 00:46
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straight up brolic posted:when was the last time that Ireland and North Ireland played eachother in a competitive match? 1995 http://www.11v11.com/teams/northern-ireland/tab/opposingTeams/opposition/Republic%20of%20Ireland/
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Jun 6, 2016 04:24
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FullLeatherJacket posted:1995 How about the nations cup https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nations_Cup_(football)
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Jun 6, 2016 09:27
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MyChemicalImbalance posted:League 1's hottest goal scorer and chant generator, Will Griggs. when I first heard that Will Grigg's On Fire I was hoping for a Die Antwoord chant but alas
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Jun 6, 2016 09:43
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Kurtofan posted:How about the nations cup https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nations_Cup_(football) He said competitive match.
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Jun 6, 2016 13:47
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Will Grigg is the best, and will take the tournament by storm #GAWA
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Jun 11, 2016 12:47
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i've been thinking - why don't the republic of ireland and the northern irish team just combine their teams? then they'd have a competitive team for the euros, imho
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Jun 11, 2016 16:46
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Botswana! posted:i've been thinking - why don't the republic of ireland and the northern irish team just combine their teams? then they'd have a competitive team for the euros, imho
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Jun 11, 2016 16:48
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St Evan Echoes posted:they already do and it's called the Republic of Ireland and it's still not competitive actually, they combine the english and irish to create that abomination. i'm talking about some real irish football
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Jun 11, 2016 16:50
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The US should go in and create some order in those Balkan isles imo
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Jun 11, 2016 16:51
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https://twitter.com/BELFASTCITY_AIR/status/741830272304480256
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Jun 12, 2016 15:48
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I hope NornIron lose all their matches
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Jun 12, 2016 15:50
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YES
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Jun 12, 2016 15:54
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what a laffable action
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Jun 12, 2016 16:09
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they'll have to close it in an hour after too much sex in the bathrooms
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Jun 12, 2016 17:53
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A northern Irish fan died after falling over a sea wall in Nice last night.
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Jun 13, 2016 09:18
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julian assflange posted:A northern Irish fan died after falling over a sea wall in Nice last night. Put a dampener on things, fair play to the Republic fans for giving him a clap at their game. Generally been good natured between us and the Republic fans so far, had a great night in Nice with the Poles last night too despite the result. At this stage I'd take a point overall but I can't say enough good things about all the fans involved.
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Jun 13, 2016 21:36
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julian assflange posted:A northern Irish fan died after falling over a sea wall in Nice last night. That's not very nice.
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Jun 13, 2016 21:38
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The Norn Iron have always had Troubles with partitions.
sticksy fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Jun 13, 2016 |
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Jun 13, 2016 23:15
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#gawa e: another Norn Irish fan has died, this time in the stadium during the match 
jesus WEP fucked around with this message at 19:30 on Jun 16, 2016 |
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Jun 16, 2016 19:17
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