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   Hi everyone. This here is the Portugal thread. And that’s Portugal, in that map over there! What’s Portugal? Well, it’s a country, for one thing. Haha. Here, let me tell you a little bit more about Portugal: Portugal, oficialmente República Portuguesa,[9] [nota 9] é um país soberano[nota 10] unitário localizado no Sudoeste da Europa, cujo território se situa na zona ocidental da Península Ibérica e em arquipélagos no Atlântico Norte. O território português tem uma área total de 92 090 km²,[10] sendo delimitado a norte e leste por Espanha e a sul e oeste pelo oceano Atlântico, compreendendo uma parte continental e duasregiões autónomas: os arquipélagos dos Açores e da Madeira. Portugal é a nação mais a ocidente do continente europeu. O nome do país provém da sua segunda maior cidade, Porto, cujo nome latino-celtaera Portus Cale.[11] [12] Wasn’t that fun? Learning about new places is always fun. And you’ve probably never heard of Portugal, so better read up. This isn’t a geography thread, though. It’s a soccer one. And if there’s one thing you gotta know about Portuguese soccer, it’s this:     We never win! But that’s ok, since soccer is all about having fun with the ball and with your friends and just having a good time with some beers and with girls. But to lose while still having fun, you can’t just throw a bunch of guys into the field. No. No loving way. You need what we in the know call A Formation:  That’s a 4-3-3. Hah, don’t get confused by all those numbers. All it means is Portugal will play with 1 (one) goalkeeper, 4 (four) defenders, 3 (three) midfielders, and 3 (three) forwards. Crazy poo poo, right? Who would have ever thought Portugal would play with the same formation they’ve been playing with for the last 50 years? Nobody, that’s who. That’s what this thread is here for. “But MBM, what if those players don’t play, and some other players play?” Relax, bitch. I’ve got it covered. Here’s another team I wouldn’t be surprised to see us using:  That good enough for you? Of course not. How about this then: Rui Patrício Cedric – Bruno Alves - Pepe - Eliseu Moutinho-Danilo André Gomes Nani - Éder - Ronaldo That's the beauty of soccer. Playing with names and numbers in a computer program and pretending it's the real thing! Wow, what a fun thread. All this stuff nobody knows about, since we only have these international tournaments pretty much every year. Now let me tell you about some of the Portuguese players, since you probably don’t know most of the poo poo cloggers on the team.  That’s Rui Patricio, probably the best goalkeeper in the Portuguese league.  Oh, and over there's Adrien. Could he steal way Moutinho's central midfield position? And that’s Eliseu, one of the least consensual players in the squad but who’ll probably be our starting left-back with Fabio Coentrão injured.  And also over h--Who am I kidding? Nobody reads these loving threads, and we all know all this poo poo already. Besides, we all know you’re here for only one reason. Or maybe a couple of them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNU3aIJs88g THAT SMILE!!!         THOSE TRAPS!!!!!    THAT NECK!!!!!     THOSE ABS!!!!!       THAT rear end!!!!!!!!      THAT COCK!!!!!    THOSE FRIENDS!!!!       THOSE RIVALS!!!!      THAT BLING!!!!!!!       THOSE BABES!!!!!         THOSE GOALS!!!!!      THOSE BALLON D'ORS!!!!!!! 2008 -  2013 -  2014 -  2016 (?) -  THE MAN HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  After a tenuous season in which he carried the White boys to the Champions League title once again, only injuries, the Devil, bad teammates and corrupt referees can keep Ronaldo away from glory. What do you think Cristiano, can you win the Euros for your beloved home country? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Szn33OgiMA God bless. Mean Bean Machine fucked around with this message at 00:20 on Jun 2, 2016 |
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Jun 2, 2016 00:17
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alright here’s some other guys   Rui Patrício (Sporting): has been Portugal’s starting goalkeeper for a while now. The best goalkeeper playing in the Portuguese league Eduardo (Zagreb): old and poo poo Anthony Lopes (Lyon): young and might be good, I dunno I don’t watch the French league obviously     Pepe (Real Madrid): everybody loves Pepe! The most pleasant, fun-loving guy you’ll find in France this summer Bruno Alves (Fenerbahce): old and probably poo poo I dunno I don’t watch the Turkish league obviously Ricardo Carvalho (Monaco): haha, this guy still around? gently caress off already José Fonte (Southampton): probably really good since he plays in the best and most competitive league, the BPL, instead of fail poo poo leagues like the german one     Eliseu (Benfica): he’s poo poo also a Benfica player which makes him worse than Hitler Raphael Guerreiro (Lorient): young kid with lots of potential, would rather he start than Eliseu tbh Cedric Soares (Southampton): he’s solid Vieirinha (Wolfsburg): he’s ok    William Carvalho (Sporting): really good DM Danilo Pereira (Porto): really good DM, will probably start Renato Sanches (Benfica): revelation of the year in Portugal earned him a move to Bayern for 35 mil at 19 years old. A lot of potential, but very overrated     João Moutinho (Moutinho): everyone knows Moutinho. didn’t have a great season Adrien (Sporting): so maybe Adrien, one of the best midfielders in the Portuguese league in the past few seasons, can take his place? André Gomes (Valencia): good attacking midfielder, will probably start João Mário (Sporting): one of the best players of the season in Portugal. very good attacking midfielder, might start on the wings    Nani (Fenerbahce): everybody knows Nani Quaresma[ (Besiktas): and everybody knows Quaresma. they’re the same loving wingers we’ve been playing for the past 10 years Rafa (Braga): the best player in the Portuguese league not playing for one of the Big Three. he’s really good but still a bit green   Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid): hell, Eder (Braga): he’s poo poo and the only striker in the team. good times You (TRP): You, the fan, the 12th man This is now a safe-space thread for all fans of Ronaldo and buddies. Haters gently caress off 
Mean Bean Machine fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Jun 2, 2016 |
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Jun 2, 2016 00:17
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PORRA! that's the only portuguese insult I know teach us more OP spice this thread up
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Jun 2, 2016 00:20
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It's absolutely shocking to me that Portugal can't come up with a better striker than Eder. Hee loving garbage.
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Jun 2, 2016 00:35
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iHala portugal!
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Jun 2, 2016 00:39
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portugal only knows how to produce flashy wingers, solid midfielders, and oval office defenders
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Jun 2, 2016 00:41
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straight up brolic posted:portugal only knows how to produce flashy wingers, solid midfielders, and oval office defenders And that would be enough, if loving Greece didn't exist.
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Jun 2, 2016 00:53
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Hell, that almost looks like a good team except for the bad players.
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Jun 2, 2016 01:04
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I believe it's Ballons D'or, OP.
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Jun 2, 2016 01:05
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El Hefe posted:PORRA! quote:This is now a safe-space thread for all fans of Ronaldo and buddies. Haters gently caress off
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Jun 2, 2016 01:06
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Thanks for a very funny - tenuous, even - OP.
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Jun 2, 2016 01:39
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thank you BR, i hope all 15 TRP regulars enjoy it. i am looking forward to your albania thread. (also i meant tiring haha guess im pretty tired myself)quote:Hell, that almost looks like a good team except for the bad players. i think we can put up a pretty good XI and still leave some good midfielders on the bench, but yeah our defense is pretty bad and our striker is poo poo and we only have like 4 real attacking players, so if one of them gets injured or is out of form we have no other options. at least we aren't as bad as holland haha
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Jun 2, 2016 02:19
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The only striker is loving Eder? Ugh Did Postiga finally fall off a cliff?
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Jun 2, 2016 02:27
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alsoquote:lol
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Jun 2, 2016 03:53
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He'll never admit it but MBM loves us Barca fans.
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Jun 2, 2016 03:55
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DOOP posted:The only striker is loving Eder? Ugh How are there two terrible strikers named Eder in this tournament
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Jun 2, 2016 04:18
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Jun 2, 2016 06:56
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Lol awesome OP
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Jun 2, 2016 07:25
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OP how do you pronounce owls boss Carvalhal? On the TV they say Carver-hal but I know that can't be right. Any ideas?
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Jun 2, 2016 08:37
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While Portugal's complete lack of good strikers since Pauleta left has taken up most headlines and discussion of the future of the team a problem has been brewing at the back, when this Euro is up and save up straight up winning the whole thing or going out in style, good folk should wonder why three of our central defenders are closer to 35 years than 30, and why a 200 year old is still getting calls to a major tournament. Fernando Santos couldn't even hide this by calling some young sap who would just collect dust on the bench. Pepe is a cool guy, but Alves is well past it, I don't think Fonte is actually fit to play, and lol Carvalho. Too bad the defence is looking like a disaster in the making, cause this midfield might be the most promising one since 2004-06 when it had the Deco-Maniche-Costinha connection
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Jun 2, 2016 10:30
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Breath Ray posted:OP how do you pronounce owls boss Carvalhal? On the TV they say Carver-hal but I know that can't be right. Any ideas? cur-va-lhawl looks like the op, posted just yesterday, is already outdated. raphael guerreiro is apparently moving to dortmund for around €10 mil
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Jun 2, 2016 14:08
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portugal is going to do to england what prince charles did to that poor kid on the cover of that newspaper
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Jun 2, 2016 15:51
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Portugal's going to arrnage a car crash?
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Jun 2, 2016 16:00
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According to TRP every team is shite this year so maybe it's time for portugal to bring football home.
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Jun 2, 2016 19:32
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Mean Bean Machine posted:cur-va-lhawl
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Jun 2, 2016 19:34
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No Pepe, Cedric, Ronaldo, Eder or André Gomes for this match. Think we might be seeing this midfield of Danilo-Moutinho-Adrien a lot against the stronger teams if it works out today. e: eliseu is so loving bad lol Mean Bean Machine fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Jun 2, 2016 |
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Jun 2, 2016 19:53
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Lol nani as a striker
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Jun 2, 2016 20:04
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Mean Bean Machine posted:No Pepe, Cedric, Ronaldo, Eder or André Gomes for this match. Think we might be seeing this midfield of Danilo-Moutinho-Adrien a lot against the stronger teams if it works out today. What's the reasoning for leaving out all those players? Just to give them some rest?
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Jun 2, 2016 20:05
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top quality op
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Jun 2, 2016 20:09
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Gigi Galli posted:What's the reasoning for leaving out all those players? Just to give them some rest? Ronaldo and Pepe are still on vacation cause of the CL final. Eder is poo poo and only an idiot is going to fall into the Ronaldo Striker trap in a major tournament so if you want a body upfront to do nothing you might as well put nani I guess, and yeah as MBM says Santos is probably giving this midfield trio a spin to see if they can hold the midfield better(doesn't seem to be working though). Would honestly prefer if Moutinho didn't play at all. Just get Gomes in there, or hell, just go with Sportings midfield. Also Jorge Jesus is doing commentary on this game which is sure to end up being more entertaining than the match itself
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Jun 2, 2016 20:11
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Lmao
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Jun 2, 2016 20:22
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lmao at loving Bruno Alves
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Jun 2, 2016 20:22
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I guess we'll be playing Pepe and Carvalho in the euros
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Jun 2, 2016 20:25
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Why would carvalho ever start over fonte
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Jun 2, 2016 20:27
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Jose posted:Why would carvalho ever start over fonte He has "experience"
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Jun 2, 2016 20:31
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This euros nike jerseys are ugly as gently caress. I thought Portugal's was bad, look at England's. How can you ruin white?
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Jun 2, 2016 21:13
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this isnt great. i'm glad i watched episode 5 of 11.22.63 instead for the last 40 mins. no spoilers please, we are all ronaldo and james franco fans herequote:What's the reasoning for leaving out all those players? Just to give them some rest? yeah that and we still have one last friendly before our 1st euro match so the manager's still trying out some stuff here
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Jun 2, 2016 21:17
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Camoes posted:This euros nike jerseys are ugly as gently caress. I thought Portugal's was bad, look at England's. How can you ruin white? Unfettered immigration
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Jun 2, 2016 21:22
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African AIDS cum posted:Unfettered immigration lol quaresma making them english players look slow as hell. theyre all looking fat, pudgy. too much potato stew. we got this
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Jun 2, 2016 21:27
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mmmmmmh loved that little taste of what's to come. quality football on show tonight. i for one can't wait for euro 2016. football is alive? you bet
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Jun 2, 2016 21:40
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