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Doctor Malaver
May 23, 2007

Ce qui s'est passé t'a rendu plus fort
All threads are either team-specific or live just one day. So I'm making this thread to discuss my feelings and upcoming rounds for each group.

GROUP A





France had to work hard to defeat Romania. They don't seem like a favorite to win the tournament. Didn't watch two Albanias play.
:eng101: First two spots to France and Romania. Not sure if Romania is better than Switzerland but there's a Swiss poster so I hope to piss him off.


GROUP B




England is the only big team not to start with a win but I have faith in them. I hope they will reach finals just to spite all the English goons who poo poo on them. Bale's team was better than Hamšik's and they were OK I guess.
:eng101: First two spots to England and Russia, unless Russian hooligans kill someone and the team gets banned.


GROUP C




Germans always win blah blah. I liked Ukraine though. And N. Ireland played the worst football this tournament so I hope this will make them give up relative independence and unite with Republic of Ireland. Hard to say how will Poland look against a normal team.
:eng101: First two spots to Germany and Poland.


GROUP D




Czechia had their chances but Spain is good and Iniesta is a monster. Turkey embarrassed itself against Croatia, playing even worse after subs. Croatia hit the woodwork a few times and had I think the most crosses into the box in the first round of the tournament. Brozovic had the most attempts at goal (he's not even an attacking mid) after CR7.
:eng101: First two spots to Spain and Croatia.


GROUP E




Our mod must be blushing after writing earlier that "Italy has an insanely bad team, maybe the worst in the history". I also like the Belgian manager's quote: “Romelu didn’t have a happy night and Kevin could do better too, but now is not the time to criticise individuals”. Ireland were better than Swedes, I don't know why.
:eng101: First two spots to Italy and Ireland.


GROUP F



Pundits' favorite dark horse lost two nil to loving Hungary, lol. Also one of three Serbs in the team was sent off which sets my Cro schadenfreude off. Iceland played a decent game against Portugal and I hope Gods will smile upon them. And that Pepe breaks a leg.
:eng101: First two spots to Portugal and Iceland.

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Weaponized Cum
Aug 31, 2004


This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJqimlFcJsM

Doctor Malaver
May 23, 2007

Ce qui s'est passé t'a rendu plus fort

I prefer the version with those horribly ugly people that were Happy Mondays once.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire
The fact that Italy beat Belgium, who were terrible, does not mean that the team is not bad!

That said they played exactly the right way to stop whatever fumbling mess Belgium put out and it was good.

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY
I'm glad OP made this thread. It was desperately needed.

Machinegunboyo
Apr 26, 2010


life is good
any theories on why it's been pretty low scoring so far? Still got the Brazil hangover and wanna see some goal fests.

Ka0
Sep 16, 2002

:siren: :siren: :siren:
AS A PROUD GAMERGATER THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE THAN WOMEN ARE GAYS AND TRANS PEOPLE
:siren: :siren: :siren:
I thought Croatia would've fared better. Alas I'm not complaining.

Pycckuu
Sep 13, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
I hate the American ESPN commentator in every match.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

Machinegunboyo posted:

any theories on why it's been pretty low scoring so far? Still got the Brazil hangover and wanna see some goal fests.

Since there are over 9000 teams now you could get through to the knockouts with conceivably just 3 draws, I think it's making everyone play more defensively. Also there are a lot of teams that are just going to play that way in any case. When we get to the knockouts I bet it will open up.

straight up brolic
Jan 31, 2007

After all, I was nice in ball,
Came to practice weed scented
Report card like the speed limit

:homebrew::homebrew::homebrew:

Ka0 posted:

I thought Croatia would've fared better. Alas I'm not complaining.
they won and played well. the turks are good.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Pycckuu posted:

I hate the American ESPN commentator in every match.

Let me tell you about Andres Iniethta and Sergio R-r-r-r-r-ramos

Andre Le Fuckface
Oct 4, 2008

:pwm:
It's coming home

Pissflaps
Oct 20, 2002

by VideoGames
It is. It's coming home.

TwoDogs1Cup
May 28, 2008

DOUGIE DOUGIE DOUGIE! MY LOVE, HE MAKES MY EMPTY HEART FULL! DOUGIE! THE BEST FOREVER THE BEST DOUGIEEE! <3 <3 - TwoDougies1Cup
Ronaldo is a big loving baby

quote:

“Iceland didn’t try anything,” whined the Portuguese captain. “They were just defend, defend, defend and playing on the counterattack. It was a lucky night for them. We should have three points but we are OK. I thought they’d won the Euros the way they celebrated at the end. It was unbelievable. When they don’t try to play and just defend, defend, defend, this in my opinion shows a small mentality and they are not going to do anything in the competition.”

sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth

Machinegunboyo posted:

any theories on why it's been pretty low scoring so far? Still got the Brazil hangover and wanna see some goal fests.

More consistent level of quality. The world cup is always full of joke teams from fake countries no one has ever heard of.

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015

TwoDogs1Cup posted:

Ronaldo is a big loving baby

You have to understand that he wants to be Number 1 in everything. So when people say that Pepe is Portugal's greatest oval office, it naturally makes Ronaldo become competitive.

Mans
Sep 14, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

TwoDogs1Cup posted:

Ronaldo is a big loving baby

Ronaldo is 100% right tho

TwoDogs1Cup
May 28, 2008

DOUGIE DOUGIE DOUGIE! MY LOVE, HE MAKES MY EMPTY HEART FULL! DOUGIE! THE BEST FOREVER THE BEST DOUGIEEE! <3 <3 - TwoDougies1Cup
Iceland has like 100 professional players. What does he expect honestly

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE

TwoDogs1Cup posted:

Iceland has like 100 professional players. What does he expect honestly

He expects everyone to roll over and proclaim his as the greatest forever and ever amen

He can get hosed

Sneaks McDevious
Jul 29, 2010

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Oh no can't believe the small teams don't roll over for me like in Spain

beer_war
Mar 10, 2005

Maybe he shouldn't have aimed his header straight at the keeper. Or maybe Ronaldo shouldn't be taking free kicks. Makes you think.

beer_war fucked around with this message at 13:18 on Jun 15, 2016

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.
Ronaldo is right. People complain about how football is boring and low scoring and these Euros suck and bad matches and then applaud a team that parks the bus the whole 90 mins against the beautiful Portuguese. Hypocrites. Football is dead and Portugal tried to breathe some life into it but it was too late

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Ronaldo is right. People complain about how football is boring and low scoring and these Euros suck and bad matches and then applaud a team that parks the bus the whole 90 mins against the beautiful Portuguese. Hypocrites. Football is dead and Portugal tried to breathe some life into it but it was too late

I don't know you that well: Are you ironically trying to be as bad at being a sportsman as Ronaldo, or are you being serious?

Hegay
Jun 29, 2012

Ibogaine posted:

I don't know you that well: Are you ironically trying to be as bad at being a sportsman as Ronaldo, or are you being serious?

He's absolutely right tho. While the poo poo teams in World Cup usually means tons of goals, most of the lovely European teams know how to defend deep and park the bus - just look at how low scoring this tourny has been so far.

sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth
Close games with excitement right until the last minute are - get this - good.

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.

Ibogaine posted:

I don't know you that well: Are you ironically trying to be as bad at being a sportsman as Ronaldo, or are you being serious?

I think the teams I like should always win and the teams I dislike should always lose and if you think that makes me a bad sportsman then Don't talk to me about sports (cause you're now on my ignore list)

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE
Games when it's two bad teams playing boring conservative football or two good teams tediously cancelling each other out are dull. A supposedly good team being embarrassed like Portugal and England have been so far is hilarious.

Group stages naturally incentivise conservative football, but it's the fault of the structure, not the teams involved.

dex_sda
Oct 11, 2012


Yeah and Icelnad have timewasting down to a science. Just foul a portuguese near the box, the free kick will be unthreatening garbage that takes up a minute.

ass cobra
May 28, 2004

by Azathoth
Oh no the floppy little idiot bitches couldnt score on the Real Men please mister Vacant Seat fix it

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015

Hegay posted:

He's absolutely right tho. While the poo poo teams in World Cup usually means tons of goals, most of the lovely European teams know how to defend deep and park the bus - just look at how low scoring this tourny has been so far.

I don't think that this is the fault of the underdogs. Hungary scored more goals than Spain, Italy vor France for example.

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.
Oh the other hand I must admit it feels good that our tiny 10 million country has a team against who the small team celebrate getting a 1-1 draw like they just won the Euros, just going wild partying and slathering each other with oils and probably buttfucking in the bathroom . That means we're now undoubtedly a Big Team and everyone is scared of us so of course they're going to root for the underdog. This must be how England felt after the USMNT fans went embarrassingly crazy with celebrations after a 1-1 draw like they'd just won the world cup: drat proud. well done portugal and well done england

Brony Car
May 22, 2014

by Cyrano4747

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Oh the other hand I must admit it feels good that our tiny 10 million country has a team against who the small team celebrate getting a 1-1 draw like they just won the Euros, just going wild partying and slathering each other with oils and probably buttfucking in the bathroom .

I don't think they we're partying like the Portuguese!!!

lilljonas
May 6, 2007

We got crabs? We got crabs!
Drawing against a country that has fewer inhabitants than a sleepy suburb to Manchester = you have a good and pro team.

Doctor Malaver
May 23, 2007

Ce qui s'est passé t'a rendu plus fort

Ibogaine posted:

I don't think that this is the fault of the underdogs. Hungary scored more goals than Spain, Italy vor France for example.

This.

Tsaedje posted:

Group stages naturally incentivise conservative football, but it's the fault of the structure, not the teams involved.

And this. Out of 12 games so far, ten had less than three goals. It can't be all fault of the "lovely teams" unless you see 15-20 teams in this tournament as lovely in which case why do you even watch it.

Besides Iceland had like three good attempts at goal which is not spectacular but it's better than some (like Turkey who didn't park the bus). They now have to play Hungary and Austria and can win either game. It's likely Hungary and Austria will play conservatively against Portugal and more open against Iceland so it's conceivable that Iceland wins both games and Portugal gets a win and a draw -- that would put Iceland at the top of the group.

In short, respect Iceland :respek: and gently caress Ronaldo. I'm not even a hater, I normally don't mind him but this time gently caress him.

Hegay
Jun 29, 2012

Sounds like we need some.. advanced stats

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY
I'm doing some serious lols at all the portuguese b*tches crying about not being able to beat loving Iceland lol

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE

blue footed boobie posted:

I'm doing some serious lols at all the portuguese b*tches crying about not being able to beat loving Iceland lol

It's not as shameful as the time they lost against Cape Verde, to be fair

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015

Mean Bean Machine posted:

I think the teams I like should always win and the teams I dislike should always lose and if you think that makes me a bad sportsman then Don't talk to me about sports (cause you're now on my ignore list)

Well, at least you seem to exemplify the traits of the teams you admire. So, good for you!

Personally, I end up liking the teams that play enjoyable football.

Ibogaine fucked around with this message at 15:07 on Jun 15, 2016

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE
Slovakia are officially better at scoring goals against Russia than England

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Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015

Tsaedje posted:

Slovakia are officially better at scoring goals against Russia than England

Once again proving that somehow the small teams are at fault for making it a bad EURO...

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