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JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
We all know about the problems with cow milk. it's been well documented and reported on.

cow milk effects:

anal fissures
decreased finger density
mole definition
angry/depressed sperm counts
increased metanodules (throat, biceps, forceps)
radical islamicism
cold case files
follicle manipulation
severe menstrual crabs
minor menstrual crabs
daffodilass
amnesia
and voting irregularities

Lets get America back on track by making the smart choice.

I do NOT work for, nor am I in the pocket of Big Almond. I am simply a concerned citizen.

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Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

eat an egg instead friendo.

also doesn't soy consumption cause bitch tits?

[edit] ohhh almond, i can't read

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

hmmm i prefer BEER

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Wendigee posted:

eat an egg instead friendo.

also doesn't soy consumption cause bitch tits?

Almond milk is not made of soy young man. its made from crushed up beetles and its 100% natural.

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.
adults shouldn't drink milk

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

i drink a cup of skim milk every day because its in the fridge at work for coffee and i don't drink coffee! :D

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

I've never had almond milk but i bet its gross.

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Airborne Viking posted:

what adult drinks milk

Almond Milk. America's Heartland is calling to you friend.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

honey? what would you like in your coffee?

BEER! please sweetie

Captain Splashback
Jan 1, 2007

BY APPOINTMENT TO HER MAJESTY
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
SPLASHBACK HOLDINGS LTD
PUCKINS AND PRINTERS PURVEYORS
Almond Milk, JiveHonky? Really?

Do you want to live forever?

Because that's how you live forever.

www
Aug 4, 2010

almond milk will give u breasts

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.

JiveHonky posted:

Almond Milk. America's Heartland is calling to you friend.

Do you drink almonds, or do almonds drink you?

Captain Splashback
Jan 1, 2007

BY APPOINTMENT TO HER MAJESTY
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
SPLASHBACK HOLDINGS LTD
PUCKINS AND PRINTERS PURVEYORS

www posted:

almond milk will give u breasts

It's okay: you can say 'tits' here

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

Airborne Viking posted:

Do you drink almonds, or do almonds drink you?



what is this non-sense?

I mean that is asinine. I eat broccoli all the time and it doesn't make me thirsty what the gently caress are you trying to say?

[e]
ohhh... some green bullshit... gently caress the third world we gonna be fine here for another 10 years probably.

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

www posted:

almond milk will give u breasts

Almond Milk is like a genie in a bottle, all your wildest wishes are at your fingertips

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot
It probably makes you less fat. I've been drinking a lot of milk and I noticed it was making me fat so I switched to beer.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Airborne Viking posted:

Do you drink almonds, or do almonds drink you?


its agood thing water is free and literalylly falls out of the sky tho

Foreskin Problems
Nov 4, 2012

It's doing fine, actually.
As the almond plant (tree? where do they come from?) does not possess tiddies, it should be called almond JUICE, and not milk.

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Serviette posted:

Almond Milk, JiveHonky? Really?

Do you want to live forever?

Because that's how you live forever.

hey dont go blabbing that around or everyone will want to try Almond Milk!

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
I'll fight you

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

a dog from hell posted:

It probably makes you less fat. I've been drinking a lot of milk and I noticed it was making me fat so I switched to beer.

hearsay and ignorance.

The nords actually say that full fat milk makes you less fat than skim milk in a study fyi. I still drink skim because im used to the gravity and texture.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

milk is gross

i prefer a nice glass of chilled canola oil

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot

Wendigee posted:

hearsay and ignorance.

The nords actually say that full fat milk makes you less fat than skim milk in a study fyi. I still drink skim because im used to the gravity and texture.

The alcohol also makes me fat so YMMV

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
on that chart is more water jugs better or worse? i cant make hide nor tail of it!

Malinois
Jun 13, 2003


Wendigee posted:

I've never had almond milk but i bet its gross.

It's not bad, just non dairy and low cal. taste-wise the plain is decent and the vanilla is pretty good but the vanilla has added sugars and all that.


Even better for milk replacement at breakfast if you're not lactose impaired is to get some good greek yogurt and mix your cereal or fruit or whatever in. Tasty and healthy with a ton of protein.

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot

JiveHonky posted:

on that chart is more water jugs better or worse? i cant make hide nor tail of it!

Water is good for you don't let anybody feed you poo poo.

cub
Sep 6, 2014

by Shine
i dont eat lactose or gluten because i am genetically inferior. just kidding i can eat anything because i am not a mutant.

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

Malinois posted:

It's not bad, just non dairy and low cal. taste-wise the plain is decent and the vanilla is pretty good but the vanilla has added sugars and all that.


Even better for milk replacement at breakfast if you're not lactose impaired is to get some good greek yogurt and mix your cereal or fruit or whatever in. Tasty and healthy with a ton of protein.

breakfast is usually an egg and or a piece of fruit so i don't mind the extra 90 cals from 8oz of skim milk and its delicious.

I'm white so I can digest the lactose without issues.

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.

numberoneposter posted:

its agood thing water is free and literalylly falls out of the sky tho

apparently not in California

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot
The only reason to drink milk is for muscles. Because it makes muscles. Period.

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
i tried drinking water, its not for me. Almond Milk makes me feel young, vibrant, voluptuous and ready to take on ISIS with only my two fists and some good old fashioned brazilian jui-jitsu.

Vitalis Jackson
May 14, 2009

Sun and water are healthy for you -- but not for your hair!
Fun Shoe

Wendigee posted:

I've never had almond milk but i bet its gross.

It's great, Wendigee, you should try some. And one cup of unsweetened almond milk has just 30 calories!

Love,
Vitalis

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Wendigee posted:

breakfast is usually an egg and or a piece of fruit so i don't mind the extra 90 cals from 8oz of skim milk and its delicious.

I'm white so I can digest the lactose without issues.

i'm 1/16th kickapoo and cow milk does not agree with my people's constitution. can you say bubbleguts?

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

Wendigee posted:

I've never had almond milk but i bet its gross.

you are correct do not believe their lies

Vitalis Jackson
May 14, 2009

Sun and water are healthy for you -- but not for your hair!
Fun Shoe

Malinois posted:

It's not bad, just non dairy and low cal. taste-wise the plain is decent and the vanilla is pretty good but the vanilla has added sugars and all that.


Even better for milk replacement at breakfast if you're not lactose impaired is to get some good greek yogurt and mix your cereal or fruit or whatever in. Tasty and healthy with a ton of protein.

It's loving great with Wheaties and a sliced banana, I assure you surely.

Love,
Vitalis

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

JiveHonky posted:

i'm 1/16th kickapoo and cow milk does not agree with my people's constitution. can you say bubbleguts?

neither does smallpox am i rite? :L):):):

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

Wendigee posted:

neither does smallpox am i rite? :L):):):

:vince:

Falun Bong Refugee
Dec 14, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
Counterpoint: Almonds take up an insane amount of water resources to grow and almond milk tastes like poo poo compared to delicious cow milk.

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
be careful. im pretty sure "a dog from hell" just got 86'd for being anti-almond. :tinfoil:

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Blood Shart
Sep 23, 2010

JESUS gently caress HOW IS IT MILK, IT'S ALMOND JUICE STOP WITH THE LIES BIG-ALMOND!

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