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Fart a whole bunch and keep the windows rolled up so your passengers can enjoy the fresh scent
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Jun 15, 2016 22:35
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I'd rather push a Bugatti than drive a Ferrari. 
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Jun 15, 2016 22:38
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always do a circle check and do your daily drivers log before leaving!
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Jun 15, 2016 22:39
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honk at everything you see because you never know if there's a smurf hiding behind that fire hydrant
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Jun 15, 2016 23:11
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if you use the brake pedal AND the handbrake that's twice the brakes! Keep that in mind if you get in a tight spot
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Jun 15, 2016 23:12
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Captain Yossarian posted:My friend, YouTube is the name of an actual thing and capitalization in this case is proper no poo poo but it argues with me about my friend's names and all kinds of other poo poo why is youtube so special
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Jun 15, 2016 23:14
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each decal adds 2hp
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Jun 15, 2016 23:26
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leaving your headlights on drains the battery! For night driving, make sure to manually flash them on and off while you drive
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Jun 15, 2016 23:54
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Drain your windshield washer fluid tank and fill it with rum. Run the line that sprays the stuff on your windshield into the cabin with you, Bam instant drink on demand. True story.
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Jun 16, 2016 01:09
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Get some of these handy devices https://www.amazon.com/Seat-Buckle-Vehicle-mounted-Bottle-Opener/dp/B017OVCZ1E
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Jun 16, 2016 01:31
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One handy auto tip is to park on the 4th floor of the office parking garage where there aren't any cameras or security people, then go to your car and pound liquor on your lunchbreak. Just make sure you only have enough to be sober when you drive home and keep mints and gum handy in case you have an afternoon meeting
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Jun 16, 2016 02:33
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whoflungpoop posted:each decal adds 2hp
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Jun 16, 2016 03:10
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Drive as close as possible to the car in front of you so that you increase road throughput and get to your destination faster.
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Jun 16, 2016 04:08
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Problems with un-official window washers at the intersection? Smear human feces all over yourself and car and make sure to inform window washers of said excrement and its source.
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Jun 16, 2016 04:19
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Can't get a Warrant of Fitness due to mechanical issues with your vehicle? Hitchhike to the woods, find and murder an elderly white couple (they are generally the best with keeping their cars up to date with road registration costs) steal their car and drive worry-free until your horrible crime is discovered.
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Jun 16, 2016 04:21
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Some jerk keeps stealing the park outside your house? Find out where he lives, break his WEP password and upload child porn to his home network. When he's in jail the park will be all yours!
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Jun 16, 2016 04:23
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Bored on a long trip? Rub chili power into your groin-area. The constant pain and desire to scratch your genitals off with a rusty spoon will quickly make you forget your 12 hour drive.
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Jun 16, 2016 04:25
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Cars uses liquid ethanol as fuel, wouldn't it make sense to use more dense high fructose corn syrup as a more efficient fuel that burns longer?
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Jun 16, 2016 05:22
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proof of concept posted:leaving your headlights on drains the battery! For night driving, make sure to manually flash them on and off while you drive This is a good way to get yourself killed by gang initiates
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Jun 16, 2016 05:23
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Sell your car and buy a better car with a combination of shrewd business sense and elbow grease
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Jun 16, 2016 05:26
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Your car can hold over a gallon of washer fluid, so if you ever run out, someone must have been robbing your vital fluids at night. Possibly Chinese? Investigate.
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Jun 16, 2016 06:58
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if you have traction control turn it off, unless you like having a computer tell you what to do all the time, you fuckinig pussy
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Jun 16, 2016 07:01
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find someone u love and make them live in your car so you know it's always protected by someone you trust don't let them out no not even opening the window
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Jun 16, 2016 12:14
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Car dirty? Steal a clean one. Also, the protip on page one about draining oil on grass needs more info. Your car can drive for a short period without oil. Start that bitch up and drive your now dry car to your cousin's. He has car ramps.
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Jun 16, 2016 15:22
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Need new tires? Rent a car just like yours switch the tires out and bring it back new tires for 49 bucks!!!!
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Jun 16, 2016 15:23
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alignment causing uneven wear on your tires? drive over potholes to throw your alignment off in the opposite direction
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Jun 16, 2016 22:55
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You don't really need a muffler
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Jun 16, 2016 23:33
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Put water bottles in the soda pop holder--they will also fit!
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Jun 16, 2016 23:37
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Howard Beale posted:You don't really need a muffler The louder your car is, the safer it is. This is why police use sirens.
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Jun 16, 2016 23:45
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for a quick burst of speed stick your rear end out the back and rip a hot fart
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Jun 17, 2016 00:04
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if you don't use your brakes they will never wear out
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Jun 17, 2016 00:07
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only suckers pull over when you can just pee your pants
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Jun 17, 2016 00:10
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Get a bumper sticker that says ~*powered by fairy dust*~ bcos your fellow drivers will find it hilarious and respect you. Always drive in the middle lane. It's the quietest.
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Jun 17, 2016 00:23
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How do I remember which of the Car Talk guys is dead.
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Jun 17, 2016 01:03
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It's the one that has pubes for brains right
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Jun 17, 2016 01:30
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proof of concept posted:if you aren't used to driving stick, just leave it in 3rd the whole time and then you don't have to worry about shifting! https://youtu.be/GyJItQYPXQc
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Jun 17, 2016 03:28
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Smash it Smash hit posted:Need new tires? Rent a car just like yours switch the tires out and bring it back new tires for 49 bucks!!!! 
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Jun 17, 2016 04:45
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if you drive a manual and aren't pretending you're racing every time you have an opportunity to accelerate on the open road, you're a loving shameful human being
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Jun 17, 2016 14:53
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 yw bb
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Jun 17, 2016 14:55
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 01:56 |
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:no poo poo but it argues with me about my friend's names and all kinds of other poo poo Lol I was just busting your "balls" so to speak (lady balls?) But honestly it's more then likely because Google owns YouTube. Do you have an Android phone?
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Jun 17, 2016 15:00
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