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Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Junior Jr. posted:

My country once ruled the world, we conquered everyone. Then we got shittier and shittier until we're now just a small island again and we're getting mopey with the EU and want to split up 'cause money problems.

:sigh: where did it all go wrong?

*Looks at a graph labeled "British Empire", notices huge downturn at "1776" mark*

*Strokes chin and purses lips*

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reallivedinosaur
Jun 13, 2012

Ogdober subrise! XDDD
britain is the pits

pit-ain

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax

Junior Jr. posted:

My country once ruled the world, we conquered everyone. Then we got shittier and shittier until we're now just a small island again, we're barely still in the Euro league, we're getting mopey with the EU and want to split up 'cause money problems.

:sigh: where did it all go wrong?

You were too high-handed with the Americans, you were too soft on Gandhi and you've never managed to bridge the social divide between the chav and the posh.

reallivedinosaur
Jun 13, 2012

Ogdober subrise! XDDD
british people talk weird and have bad morals, the things they like are bad and the values they hold are corrupt and with no merit

except for the scarlet pimpernel he was the "one true scotsman", when it comes to british dudes

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax
Also, how did you manage to lose control of like 1/3 of your island to the IRISH of all people, lol

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine
fuckin chavs

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
I've been to London it was nice

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
I've been watching a lot of QI on youtube and it's pretty clear that Stephen Fry is the old guard british while Alan Davis is the cuddly guy I'd like to take to bed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzyFyxlp2jY

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
QI is cool and good

Junior Jr.
Oct 4, 2014

by sebmojo
Buglord

Hector Beerlioz posted:

QI is cool and good

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

momerath posted:

what's the closest i can get to england without leaving america?

you can come up to canada and enjoy the pictures of the queen if you'd like

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Junior Jr. posted:

My country once ruled the world, we conquered everyone. Then we got shittier and shittier until we're now just a small island again, we're barely still in the Euro league, we're getting mopey with the EU and want to split up 'cause money problems.

:sigh: where did it all go wrong?

don't worry mate you still have the Falkland Islands, the empires totally not done yet!

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

Rutibex posted:

you can come up to canada and enjoy the pictures of the queen if you'd like

god dammit, how can I as a Texan ever have a chance against that

I mean those loving brits love the queen more than any bbq we can give

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine
*swims up from ice hole*

s'cuse me, white cliffs of dover?

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Applewhite posted:

*Looks at a graph labeled "British Empire", notices huge downturn at "1776" mark*

*Strokes chin and purses lips*

:eng101:
the british empire actually became much larger after 1776. they kind of had a world wide good cop/bad cop thing going on. america tries to gather aftican slaves to colonize the interior, well england conquers Africa to try and stop the slave trade

Crewmine
Apr 26, 2012

Rutibex posted:

:eng101:
the british empire actually became much larger after 1776. they kind of had a world wide good cop/bad cop thing going on. america tries to gather aftican slaves to colonize the interior, well england conquers Africa to try and stop the slave trade

The British Empire was the true protagonist of the American civil war

jBrereton
May 30, 2013
Grimey Drawer

Junior Jr. posted:

My country once ruled the world, we conquered everyone. Then we got shittier and shittier until we're now just a small island again, we're barely still in the Euro league, we're getting mopey with the EU and want to split up 'cause money problems.

:sigh: where did it all go wrong?
The 1940s where the UK was saddled with war debt and then redevelopment debt which was only paid off literally only a couple of years ago.

Well, hope that helps.

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Applewhite posted:

England was once the mightiest empire in the world and there are a great many former savages who owe them a debt of gratitude for introducing civilization to their benighted lands.

p sure thats rome

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:

Mange Mite posted:

the combination of free health care and no guns means lots of low-level street crime and bored idiots start fights with strangers constantly, and every so often of cousre someone ends up stabbed or beaten to death

GREAT Britain m8. Fuckin' GR8

Junior Jr.
Oct 4, 2014

by sebmojo
Buglord
Britain and America both have asians in their territories, but they're completely different races.

In America, the asians are chinese or japanese-americans. In Britain, the 'asians' are indians and pakistanis.

though americans don't think fondly of pakistanis because they think they work for isis

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



Revenants Return posted:

and eats gross food and gets paddled by schoolmarms in boarding schools and an entire wealthy family will live in like a 20 by 20 foot apartment with a barely functional toilet and have a single compact car which has the steering wheel on the wrong side and a manual transmission . Unbelievable. Open public yards or "national parks" are unheard of, as is any private yard larger than a postage stamp. Can britgoons confirm?

oh heaven's no not a manual transmission! if i have to work a clutch and shifter i'll get the vapors and faint!

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Britain is an overcrowded shithole with tiny, massively expensive houses.

lorn Wayne
Jan 7, 2006

:staredog::meowth::pipe:

spud posted:

Britain is an overcrowded shithole with tiny, massively expensive houses.

:sigh: thanks for reminding me how dire my situation is

jerk

TheIllestVillain
Dec 27, 2011

Sal, Wyoming's not a country

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?




man you'd think 53 million would be a diverse enough genepool to prevent this kind of congenital horror show, but here we are

Junior Jr.
Oct 4, 2014

by sebmojo
Buglord
*puts on england war paint*

THEY MAY TAKE OUR EUROSTAR, BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE OUR FOOTBALL!!!!

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Junior Jr. posted:

My country once ruled the world, we conquered everyone. Then we got shittier and shittier until we're now just a small island again, we're barely still in the Euro league, we're getting mopey with the EU and want to split up 'cause money problems.

:sigh: where did it all go wrong?

The very end was when you intentionally deindustrialized and got rid of all your jobs except for finance and its related industry of begging rich people for money. Now instead of bossing lovely countries around, you must suck the dicks of china and russia.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
Lol britain sent an assassin to try and take out trump, and failed. Luckily we know better than to let foreigners buy guns. Owned, britain

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Mange Mite posted:

The very end was when you intentionally deindustrialized and got rid of all your jobs except for finance and its related industry of begging rich people for money. Now instead of bossing lovely countries around, you must suck the dicks of china and russia.

:rolleyes:
you don't understand, service economies are more advanced than simple manufacturing. making things that people want will never be as profitable as shuffling paper around and collecting a percentage. the Uk economy is much stronger now that it every was under boring old "industrialization"

vug
Jan 23, 2015

by Cowcaster
you have been visited by the chairman mao ghost of chairman mao

Revenants Return
Mar 28, 2016

by Shine

Otisburg posted:

oh heaven's no not a manual transmission! if i have to work a clutch and shifter i'll get the vapors and faint!

I know how to drive a manual OP. My first car was a manual which I got when I was 16 (quite common. cars in the US can be had for less than 10 thousand "British pounds" and a "lad" will often get the family's old car). The issue is, obviously, that it's funny when an entire family has one compact car between them with the stupid kind of transmission, and dear old mum has to clutch through traffic on the tiny streets to get to the store to buy a curry for the lads. It's not as though Brits are driving American muscle cars with stick shifts they're driving like a VW golfs. Nothing impressive or masculine about it. It just speaks to the incredibly low quality of life in Britain.

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Applewhite posted:

*Looks at a graph labeled "British Empire", notices huge downturn at "1776" mark*

*Strokes chin and purses lips*

Why would we give a gently caress about a few flyblown farmers (with an expensive habit of starting poo poo with their neighbours and then asking for protection) when we could have India instead?

vug
Jan 23, 2015

by Cowcaster
apparently under the impression that we don't have the option of buying automatic transmission cars if we wanted to

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
England is the world's largest exporter of YouTube videos about snarky video game reviews.

vug
Jan 23, 2015

by Cowcaster
muscle cars aren't something to aspire to, they're the booby prize if you're a sad deprived gently caress living in some American swamp or desert or other wasteland and don't even know what the gently caress "taking a corner" means

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

vug posted:

muscle cars aren't something to aspire to, they're the booby prize if you're a sad deprived gently caress living in some American swamp or desert or other wasteland and don't even know what the gently caress "taking a corner" means

Yes. Now a BRITISH car, that's the zenith of automotive technology

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

Yes. Now a BRITISH car, that's the zenith of automotive technology



You bet your rear end it is!

reallivedinosaur
Jun 13, 2012

Ogdober subrise! XDDD
lol at people who brag about their manual transmissions as if they have a "skill".

RobattoJesus
Aug 13, 2002

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

Yes. Now a BRITISH car, that's the zenith of automotive technology

This is how the British "take a corner"



fake edit: dammit ^^^

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TheMaskedUgly
Sep 21, 2008

Let's play a different game.
lol just lol at countries that can't fathom how to operate 3 pedals at once

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