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Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute

New Concept Hole posted:

HE GOT WIDTH ON THE OUTSIDE ABSOLUTELY FREE

RONDON MAY HAVE BLOWN HIS SAVE OPPORTUNITY, BUT YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO SAVE BIG IS STILL RIGHT HERE

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Good Dog
Oct 16, 2008

Who threw this cat at me?
Clapping Larry
I DON'T THINK BIG TIME TIMMY JIM HAS WHAT IT TAKES TO PITCH IN THE MAJORS ANYMORE


THIS POST WOULD HAVE BEEN RELEVANT 4 YEARS AGO AND ITS RELEVANT NOW.

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的
AND FOR TODAY ONLY, MAC WILLIAMSON IS GETTING A START AGAINST A RIGHTIE! YOU'LL NEVER SEE THIS MATCHUP AGAIN IF HE DOESN'T GET A HIT WITHIN THE NEXT 3 HOURS!

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute
HI CUBS MANAGER JOE MADDON HERE, AND YOU KNOW WHAT MY SECRET IS TO WINNING GAMES? IT'S SLIPPING THE HOME PLATE UMPIRE A LITTLE EXTRA ON THE SIDE TO ENSURE ALL THE BAD CALLS GO MY WAY WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN. TRUST ME, NOTHING WORKS BETTER.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


CHRIS COGHLAN HERE, WE ARE LITERALLY GIVING THESE AWAY, WE ARE SELLING A PRODUCT TO REMOVE CHRIS COGHLANS, WE ARE SORRY WE SENT YOU A COGHLAN IN ERROR

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的
DON'T SETTLE FOR THE COMPETITOR'S STRIKEZONE! EVEN PITCHES OVER THE PLATE WILL GET CALLED A BALL WITH JOSH SMITH'S ZONE! DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS!

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


gently caress YOU CHRIS COGHLAN THIS POST HAS NO BILLY MAYS CONTENT

Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013




IN HONOR OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR BILLY MAYS, I JUST GOT A GREAT DEAL ON A PAIR OF CARDS-ROYALS TICKETS, TO TAKE MY (KC NATIVE, AND OBSESSIVE ROYALS FAN) FATHER TO BUSCH TOMORROW AS A BELATED FATHER'S DAY PRESENT

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute
CHRIS COGHLAN HERE, I'M BAD AT BASEBALL.

THAT'S THE JOKE. gently caress CHRIS COGHLAN.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

R.D. Mangles posted:

CHRIS COGHLAN HERE, WE ARE LITERALLY GIVING THESE AWAY, WE ARE SELLING A PRODUCT TO REMOVE CHRIS COGHLANS, WE ARE SORRY WE SENT YOU A COGHLAN IN ERROR

FOLKS, PLEASE TAKE THEM UP ON THIS OFFER SO WE CAN SAFELY TRANSFER KOLTEN WONG BACK TO THE INFIELD.

Troy Queef posted:

IN HONOR OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR BILLY MAYS, I JUST GOT A GREAT DEAL ON A PAIR OF CARDS-ROYALS TICKETS, TO TAKE MY (KC NATIVE, AND OBSESSIVE ROYALS FAN) FATHER TO BUSCH TOMORROW AS A BELATED FATHER'S DAY PRESENT

BE SURE TO VISIT THE CITY MUSEUM AND GOD HELP YOU IF YOU TAKE HIM TO IMO'S.

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的
TROUBLE WITH BASERUNNERS? SPRAY SOME COGHLAN ON THE INFIELD, THEN WIPE AWAY WITH THE INCLUDED BAEZ! THEY'LL SHINE LIKE BRAND NEW!

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的
ALBERT SUAREZ IS SO EFFECTIVE, HE CAN EVEN CLEAN UP AFTER ITSELF! THAT'S TIME SAVED, AND MONEY SAVED!

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute
HI CUBS OFFENSE HERE

JUST KIDDING NO WE'RE NOT

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Troy Queef posted:

IN HONOR OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR BILLY MAYS, I JUST GOT A GREAT DEAL ON A PAIR OF CARDS-ROYALS TICKETS, TO TAKE MY (KC NATIVE, AND OBSESSIVE ROYALS FAN) FATHER TO BUSCH TOMORROW AS A BELATED FATHER'S DAY PRESENT

ALSO CHECK OUT JENNIFER'S PHARMACY IN CLAYTON. NOWHERE ELSE WILL THEY TAKE A SLICE OF HOMEMADE PIE AND PUT IT IN A MILKSHAKE FOR YOU WITH THIS HANDY DANDY BLENDER. ACT NOW!

Good Dog
Oct 16, 2008

Who threw this cat at me?
Clapping Larry
I THINK TROUT IS OUT BUT I DON'T KNOW IF THERES ENOUGH TO OVERTURN IT

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的
SIMILAR ADS PROMISE 9 INNINGS OF CUBS BASEBALL, BUT FOR TODAY ONLY, WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU EXTRA! YOU GET NOT ONLY LESTER AND RONDON, BUT ALSO GRIMM, AND EDWARDS JR!

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的
BRANDON BELT WILL MAKE GETTING OVER GLOVES SO EASY, YOU'LL WONDER HOW YOU GOT ALONG WITHOUT HIM!

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
CAN I GET A TWO-FOR-ONE ON BRANDON PHILLIPS HBP PLEASE?

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute

Pancakes posted:

CAN I GET A TWO-FOR-ONE ON BRANDON PHILLIPS HBP PLEASE?

SORRY, THEY GO FAST! BUT WE'VE GOT A BRANDON PHILLIPS STRIKE OUT FOR FREE!

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的
DON'T SETTLE FOR A BRANDON PHILIPS THAT CAN'T HIT A FASTBALL!

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


DON'T LET THEM TAG YOU

ORDER MORE BASEBALL TODAY

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

New Concept Hole posted:

DON'T SETTLE FOR A BRANDON PHILIPS THAT CAN'T HIT A FASTBALL!

DO YOUR STRIKEOUTS LACK EXCITEMENT? ACT NOW AND WE'LL THROW IN SLAPSTICK!

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute
AND WE'LL THROW IN A JAY BRUCE STRIKE OUT TOO!

THAT'S RIGHT, YOU THOUGHT YOUR CUBS BULLPEN COULD ONLY PROVIDE ONE PERFECT INNING? YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO LEARN THAT IT'S GOOD FOR TWO!

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!
CARL EDWARDS JR. HERE! FULL SIZE POWER THAT FITS IN YOUR POCKET!!!! I MAKE MARCUS STROMAN LOOK LIKE JUMBO DIAZ!!!!

Kevlar v2.0
Dec 25, 2003

=^•⩊•^=
ARE YOU SICK AND TIRED OF GAMES THAT ONLY LAST 3 HOURS?

WienerDog
Apr 8, 2007
Resident Rocking Dachshund

will_colorado posted:

HI, MOTHER NATURE HERE, FOR A FREAK HAIL STORM TO DELAY YOUR GAME THIS EVENING




WE HAVE A START TIME OF 11:20PM EASTERN. THAT'S A LATE GAME! I'M GOING TO LOAD UP ON CAFFINE WHILE I WAIT!

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU STARTED TIM LINCECUM, ONLY FOR HIM TO LEAVE YOUR TEAM IN A MESS?

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
CALL NOW TO ORDER YOUR AMAZING DEFLATING WHITE SOX RECORD! YOU'LL BE ASTOUNDED BY HOW QUICKLY IT SELF-CORRECTS FROM ANYTHING RESPECTABLE! JUST ADD ROBIN VENTURA AND WATCH A PHENOMENAL FREAK OF NATURE'S TALENT BE WASTED!

BearDrivingTruck
Oct 15, 2011

You see the most shocking sights sometimes
JOE PANIK HAS CONCUSSION-LIKE SYMPTOMS, HE BOUGHT THE CURSE FROM BRANDON BELT IN A PACKAGE DEAL

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的

Pancakes posted:

CALL NOW TO ORDER YOUR AMAZING DEFLATING WHITE SOX RECORD! YOU'LL BE ASTOUNDED BY HOW QUICKLY IT SELF-CORRECTS FROM ANYTHING RESPECTABLE! JUST ADD ROBIN VENTURA AND WATCH A PHENOMENAL FREAK OF NATURE'S TALENT BE WASTED!

SIMPLY SPRAY ROBIN VENTURA ON ANY WINNING STREAK, THEN SIMPLY RUN A CLEAN CLOTH OVER IT, AND WATCH THE STREAK VANISH!

Vertical Lime
Dec 11, 2004

BONE SPURS FOR GRANDY BONE SPURS FOR EVERYONE BE DIALING PEOPLE

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的

BearDrivingTruck posted:

JOE PANIK HAS CONCUSSION-LIKE SYMPTOMS, HE BOUGHT THE CURSE FROM BRANDON BELT IN A PACKAGE DEAL

EVEN YEAR BASEBALL WILL LIFT THOSE TRACES OF SECOND BASEMEN FROM YOUR TEAM RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES!

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
WE'RE RAPIDLY APPRAOCHING THE NINTH INNING WITH A LEAD! CALL NOW FOR YOUR CARDINALS-APPROVED ROSENTHAL BLOOD PRESSURE SUPPLEMENTS!

will_colorado
Jun 30, 2007

WienerDog posted:

WE HAVE A START TIME OF 11:20PM EASTERN. THAT'S A LATE GAME! I'M GOING TO LOAD UP ON CAFFINE WHILE I WAIT!

DO YOU LIKE LATE NIGHT BASEBALL?? THEN DO WE HAVE A DEAL FOR YOU WITH THIS UPCOMING ROCKIES GAME!

New Concept Hole
Oct 10, 2012

東方動的
BUT WAIT! BUY BRANDON CRAWFORD FOR THE GLOVE, AND GET THE BAT! A 30 MILLION DOLLAR VALUE, BUT IF YOU CALL RIGHT NOW IT'S FREE!

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!

Vertical Lime posted:

BONE SPURS FOR GRANDY BONE SPURS FOR EVERYONE BE DIALING PEOPLE

THE NEW YORK BONESPURPOLITANS!!!! THEY SLICE AND DICE UP THE SOFT TISSUE OF YOUR ELBOW!!!!!

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute
NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUT THREE PERFECT INNINGS ARE YOURS FOR THE TAKING, COMPLETE WITH ANEMIC OFFENSE TO KEEP THE EXCITEMENT AT ITS ABSOLUTE PEAK! ORDER YOUR CUBS BULLPEN TODAY!

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
PLEASE LORD BILLY MAYS CAN I ORDER POSITION PLAYERS PITCHING IN CINCY? HAVE WE EVER HAD POSITION PLAYERS PITCHING ON BILLY MAYS DAY BEFORE?

beejay
Apr 7, 2002

Sydin posted:

NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUT THREE PERFECT INNINGS ARE YOURS FOR THE TAKING, COMPLETE WITH ANEMIC OFFENSE TO KEEP THE EXCITEMENT AT ITS ABSOLUTE PEAK! ORDER YOUR CUBS BULLPEN TODAY!

FOLKS THIS OFFENSE HAS hosed JON LESTER OUT OF MANY A WIN YOU MUST SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT

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Islam is the Lite Rock FM
Jul 27, 2007

by exmarx
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE DEAL YOU'RE GETTING WITH THIS CUBS@REDS TICKET

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