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Ork of Fiction
Jul 22, 2013

An Ounce of Gold posted:

Why can't I just eat gluten free pizza? :( I want to live!

I bet u could cure your guts w/ a fecal transplant. So, instead of back and forth forever, just hold on to the poo when they poo in ur butt, at least I think that's how it works, I mostly deal w/ cancer stuff @ work.

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SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

flashy_mcflash posted:

List of food restrictions for a cottage weekend I'm going to next month where we all prepare one meal for everyone:


Told them I'd make ice

I guarantee you'll regret going to a cottage with these people. Take a poo poo load of beer.

Cerebral Mayhem
Jul 18, 2000

Very useful on the planet Delphon, where they communicate with their eyebrows

quote:

Food intolerances include wheat, eggs, corn, sesame, milk, all legume beans, oats, flax, oyster, garlic, almonds, kiwi, wakame seaweed. Please add any others that I've missed. It's ok if these are in small amounts in a recipe, but we'll bring our own alternatives ie. rice bread, soy milk, etc. 

Do they not realize soy is a legume?

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion
Married to an actual, MD-diagnosed, celiac sufferer.

Ever get a sunburn? When a celiac gets 'glutened', the effect is like a sunburn on your intestinal linings. It takes a week or so to poo poo out the damaged ones and grow new ones. During that time, the only allowed food is banana, apple sauce/juice, gluten-free toast, and white rice. That's it. Forget going anywhere; you need to be near a bathroom at all times. The pain is like someone beating your abdomen with a pillowcase full of bricks. You sleep as much as possible.

It takes the amount of gluten needed to fill this O to trigger a glutening.

Flesh Forge
Jan 31, 2011

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG
I ate a bread and now im spraying poop and farts evertywhere help

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES

Flesh Forge posted:

I ate a bread and now im spraying poop and farts evertywhere help

Call up a phonesexer

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Actually it's really cool that goons are mad at the people who don't eat certain things because of a mistaken belief that doesn't harm anyone but actually helps some people.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Khazar-khum posted:

Married to an actual, MD-diagnosed, celiac sufferer.

Ever get a sunburn? When a celiac gets 'glutened', the effect is like a sunburn on your intestinal linings. It takes a week or so to poo poo out the damaged ones and grow new ones. During that time, the only allowed food is banana, apple sauce/juice, gluten-free toast, and white rice. That's it. Forget going anywhere; you need to be near a bathroom at all times. The pain is like someone beating your abdomen with a pillowcase full of bricks. You sleep as much as possible.

It takes the amount of gluten needed to fill this O to trigger a glutening.

Knew a celiac at college. I'm glad that's the sort of pain the creepy little fucker went through.

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

Sunswipe posted:

Knew a celiac at college. I'm glad that's the sort of pain the creepy little fucker went through.

I knew a celiac in high school. I'm glad that's the sort of pain the beautiful goddess that wanted nothing to do with me went through.

True story except I'm not glad.

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress
Ultra Carp

gently caress the ROW posted:

Slice his freakin taint in half

Harsh, but fair

Gobblecoque
Sep 6, 2011
just glute all over his face

THAT is how you establish dominance

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k
I ate a cheez-it and now I'm dead. Stay safe friends.

CharlestonJew
Jul 7, 2011

Illegal Hen
Doctor told a friend of mine she had celiac but after a bit more testing they found out it was just IBS.

Dodged a bullet there, my friend was making this huge checklist of all the things she wouldn't be able to eat anymore

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

dog buttz posted:

I knew a celiac in high school. I'm glad that's the sort of pain the beautiful goddess that wanted nothing to do with me went through.

True story except I'm not glad.

Should have offered to fill her mouth with something that's definitely gluten free.

Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004

by WE B Bourgeois
In the absence of religion neurotic superstitious behavior like this still comes about

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

Khazar-khum posted:

Married to an actual, MD-diagnosed, celiac sufferer.

Ever get a sunburn? When a celiac gets 'glutened', the effect is like a sunburn on your intestinal linings. It takes a week or so to poo poo out the damaged ones and grow new ones. During that time, the only allowed food is banana, apple sauce/juice, gluten-free toast, and white rice. That's it. Forget going anywhere; you need to be near a bathroom at all times. The pain is like someone beating your abdomen with a pillowcase full of bricks. You sleep as much as possible.

It takes the amount of gluten needed to fill this O to trigger a glutening.

Yeah, actual Celiac? Living hell if it's an actual thing. But from what I've heard, sunburn on your intestines is like a paradise compared to a true celiac reaction. You know the reason why things like Celiac and Fibromyalgia are considered fake diseases, right? It's because they end up being so horrifically painful that the people who have them take a handful of benzo's because it hurts so much. And the media is legally prevented from saying that, because of revealing details of suicides and all that. Suicide diseases. The people who have them just stop posting one day. We all know why, but we never say.

I absolutely love and adore the fact that I can absorb and metabolise wheat and junk. Gluten is great! Bread is great! Oh my god just taking a loaf of super crusty bread and munching in to it?!?!

So great.

IronClaymore fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Jul 9, 2016

Marketing New Brain
Apr 26, 2008

IronClaymore posted:

Yeah, actual Celiac? Living hell if it's an actual thing. But from what I've heard, sunburn on your intestines is like a paradise compared to a true celiac reaction. You know the reason why things like Celiac and Fibromyalgia are considered fake diseases, right?

Because people have nebulous symptoms and instead of going to a doctor and trying to work through it and getting a legitimate diagnosis, they self diagnose and use it as an excuse for whatever problem they are having?

Also it doesn't make sense to compare Celiac with Fibromyalgia, since one has observable, physical manifestations and symptoms, and the other is a weird controversial catch all diagnosis.

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

Marketing New Brain posted:

Because people have nebulous symptoms and instead of going to a doctor and trying to work through it and getting a legitimate diagnosis, they self diagnose and use it as an excuse for whatever problem they are having?

Also it doesn't make sense to compare Celiac with Fibromyalgia, since one has observable, physical manifestations and symptoms, and the other is a weird controversial catch all diagnosis.

I was just mentioning various diseases that people have been diagnosed with. And I would consider blinding endless pain and suffering to be a symptom, regardless of its cause, and sure people could be making it up, and it could be psychosomatic, except that people with it do tend to kill themselves in droves. If that is psychosomatic, like "gluten intolerance", surely we have an ethical duty to help those people? Even worse than if it was a simply physical thing?

It's bad enough having a sick body, but a sick mind? That is horrifyingly worse.

IronClaymore fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Jul 9, 2016

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Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
toxins

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